A/N. I hadn't originally intended there to be a third chapter but I couldn't quite bring myself to put it to 'complete'. So here's the final instalment...
The door closes behind them and they're swallowed by the darkness. He stops a few feet into the room and turns slowly to face her. She draws a sharp breath as reality kicks in and the caution to the wind high she was riding completely evaporates. The darkness reveals all the reasons she shouldn't be here.
She panics, taking a step back and finding the door with her hand. He still has her other hand but doesn't step back with her. Doesn't he feel it too?
What are they doing?
She searches his face but can't make out his expression. The dim glow of a distant streetlight is throwing him into shadow. She can't see what he's thinking. His body is taught though, holding something back.
"You ok?" His voice is low.
She nods automatically in reply.
No! Not ok. Why is she nodding? Is she that conditioned to him that even now she automatically plays the consenting soldier?
He grazes her knuckles with his thumb. She can start to make out his eyes now. His eyebrows are low, his eyes concerned. "We don't have to do this you know." His voice is soft, his tone like he's talking to himself as well as her. She gives another curt nod.
He reaches behind her to open the door but her hand stops him from opening it. "Wait."
Her mind is playing it through. If they don't now, then when? And what will they have to break through to get here? Regs? History? Guilt? Fiancés? She closes her eyes to the thought.
She's taken this chance and they've come this far. At least they know now. Surely they can move on from here?
"We don't have to do this." He says it again, more earnestly this time.
She feels his hand on her cheek. "Sam." He says softly, trying to connect with her.
She moves her head into the contact and nods against his hand. "I know." She says it out loud and for some reason it calms her.
She puts her hands on his chest and leans into him. "I know."
He brings his arms round to embrace her and holds her tightly.
She's close enough to his chest that her body rises and falls with his breathing. She lets it wash over her for a while. She feels safe.
She blinks.
Safe? Hardly the shirt ripping 'take me now' road she was on a few moments ago. What is going on with her? Should it be this difficult?
"I thought this would be easy." Her voice is hoarse and muffled by his shirt.
He makes a small noise, almost a laugh in acknowledgment and loosens his embrace so he can bring his mouth closer to her ear. "Why did you think that?" His voice is soft, his tone intimate. She's never heard him like that before. It draws her to him, like he's inviting her in. He doesn't pull back, just holds still, his breath warm on her neck.
It should be easy because it's them. Because she's imagined it so many times and she's sure he has too.
The honesty of her thoughts opens something inside her and she's suddenly very aware of the fact she's in his arms. Very aware of how close his lips are to her skin. Aware that he's very still. Is he waiting for her answer? Can she give one?
Why did she think it would be easy?
"Because I've thought about it so many times." She whispers.
His body tenses, he doesn't move for a few seconds but then he exhales deeply into her shoulder and his hands slip down to her waist to pull her closer. His fingers tighten on her and he lets his lips graze her neck where it meets her shoulder.
Suddenly she's alive, like every nerve in her body is waiting for his next touch. Her hands tighten on his shirt and her head turns to melt into his neck all in one fluid motion.
He pulls her closer, if that's possible, one hand moving up her back to hold her to him. "Me too." He says, the words breathed into her neck and punctuated with the touch of his lips to her skin. He pauses. "So many times."
The wave of emotion she feels at his admission is almost overwhelming. To hear him speak so openly scatters the last of her doubts and she wants to connect with him, to feel part of him. She slides her hands round his neck into his hair, moving her head in line with his. She hesitates only for a second before dropping a tentative kiss below his ear. Then another, tasting his skin with her tongue and revelling in the sound he makes when she does.
He slides his hands up her body, up over her shoulders pushing her jacket off down her arms and to the floor. Their bodies part for a moment then slip back together, her hands back in his hair, his at her waist finding their way under her shirt.
Her trail of kisses leads round his jaw line and she hesitates as she reaches the crease of his mouth. He stills and time seems to slow down as they hover on the edge of something momentous.
He moves first, moves his hand to her cheek and turns his head to kiss her fully. They seem to fit effortlessly together and she can't stop the moan as he brushes her tongue with his. He's pressing himself against her and there's no way she's resisting. His hands set her skin on fire and as he deepens the kiss it forces her back against the door.
His hands are everywhere, god they're everywhere, fingers entwining with hers and sliding her arms up above her head then down again and into her hair, his body is pressed to hers. She's not sure where she ends and he begins. It's heaven. But she's pulled back to Earth as he tears himself from her, breathing deeply and leaning his forehead against hers.
"Is this real?" His voice sounds like he doesn't believe it.
She's on such a high she almost laughs. "I think so." Her laboured breath mingles with his and warms the air around them. "I've been asking myself the same thing though."
She can still taste him on her tongue.
"It feels real." Her heart is pounding. "You feel real." She digs her fingernails into his arm eliciting a low moan from him. "I feel…pretty incredible."
"You're telling me." He rasps.
She can't help the hitch in her chest and the smile that causes. As if to confirm his words he leans in to kiss her neck again and untangles his hand from her hair to slide down her collarbone and graze her breast.
"If it's not real," she says with a gasp, "when I wake up, I'm coming straight round here." She can feel him smile into her neck, his hands round her back pulling her into him again.
"Yeah?" He drawls, "I might not let you in?" This time she does laugh out loud and it feels so good. She feels a thrill at their banter. She hadn't realised how much she's missed it, how far it went to showing they were back on track.
He moves to face her, out of the shadow now and it's the first time she's been able to see him clearly since they entered the room.
He wants her. That's what she sees. She pretty much got that from the mind blowing kiss they just shared but to see it in his eyes is something else.
"I'd convince you" she tilts her head coyly.
"Really? He draws out the word.
"I can be pretty convincing" Did she just pout?
"I'll bet you can." He says knowingly, eyebrows raised and leaning into her. But then his voice changes. Another tone she's never heard before, one that does things to her insides. "What did you have in mind?"
She takes his face in her hands.
"Oh, many, many things." Her voice breaks on the second 'many'.
She strokes his cheek with her thumb and holds his gaze. God his eyes are mesmerising, like he can see right into her. Suddenly she feels so open, so raw.
"Many things. Many times."His eyes close at her words and she swallows the lump in her throat. "With you." She waits for him to open his eyes again so he knows, so he can see the truth in her own eyes. "Always you."
She feels the last of her barriers fall away as what must be the last of her secrets is revealed. She leans in to kiss him but he's already there, taking her face in his hands and kissing her so reverently, so slowly given the heat of their first kiss. It's divine but she wants more. She wants him. She pulls him to her and loves the growl he makes when she deepens the kiss. Her hands want to explore him, to know him. She caresses the nape of his neck, his chest, finds her way under his shirt to smooth them over his tight stomach. He can't stop his doing the same, his hands in her hair, stroking the back of her neck, skimming down her chest and finding the naked skin at her waist, his kisses coming stronger and deeper.
He pushes her back against the door again, his hand moving down her hip, down her thigh and pulling her leg up against his. Her body is craving him and she surrenders control and loses herself in him.
She can think about the rest tomorrow.