A/N: Sorry it took a while longer this time. I was a bit stuck. I have this idea in my head you will read in Chapter 4 and I just needed something for this chapter. This is how it turned out. Hope you like it.

Thanks again for all the reviews and thank you, my fabulous Beta.

Chapter 3: Back on the Dating Game

"This was fun. Again," Max tells me after our conversation has dropped dead. In just a matter of a few seconds we go from standing comfortably on the porch steps of my house, chatting, to standing uncomfortably at that same place, as if we both don't know what to do. Or maybe we do know what to do, but we're just nervous. I'm nervous. That's a fact. I can't remember a time that I, Lorelai Gilmore, was nervous at a date. But now; oh, I'm nervous. I'm nervous, alright.

It's been our third date so far. We've really hit it off. Max is handsome, funny, smart, good with words and he seems to understand my humor, which is always hard to find –for me. Max seems to have it all, seems to be all, yet; I'm doubtful.

This moment –the moment he walked me up to my door after a nice dinner and a movie, ready to say goodbye after yet another successful date– is the movie-definition of 'time to kiss goodnight', but I'm nervous.

We haven't kissed yet. Three dates and we haven't kissed yet. I can still remember the Lorelai that liked kissing guys after a good first date; the Lorelai that liked to drive guys crazy by giving them a kiss similar to the one Michael Vartan gave Drew Barrymore in 'Never been kissed' and then leaving them standing there dumbfounded, wanting more; the Lorelai that liked to play with her 'prey' a little before she gave them what all those guys really wanted.

That Lorelai is gone. She disappeared during her long-lasting relationship with Luke. I didn't need that Lorelai anymore; I had found my man. The Lorelai that's left now gets nervous when a strange man comes close, too close.

I tell myself to be a big girl. After all, it's just a kiss. I've been kissed before –too often to count. I have been told I'm a good kisser. So, just do it.

I refocus my eyes on Max' dark brown ones. I'm not used to brown. They are so dark, like they're unreadable. With Luke's blue eyes I always had the idea I could look right into his soul, but now all I see is darkness. I shake it off.

"Lorelai?" I hear from a distant. "Lorelai?" he repeats, louder and more urgently now.

"What?" I ask, smiling up at him.

"You had fun, right?" he asks me and I detect a hint of doubt in his voice.

I want to take that doubt away as fast as I can. Yes, I had fun.

I keep my mouth shut. Instead I nod slightly and swallow, but I make sure I keep the sweet smile on my face that I never had to fake with Luke. I place my right hand softly on his cheek and I feel his soft skin. There's no stubble, which feels foreign to me. I place my other hand behind his head, in his thick, soft hair and pull him towards me effortlessly. I place my lips on his and he kisses me back immediately.

I haven't kissed anyone else since Luke.

Well, technically that's not true; there was still Christopher, but I'd like to forget about that. Yes, we dated for "three months, two weeks, five days and seven hours" as Christopher pointed out when I broke up with him, but it was nothing compared to what I had with Luke and it's nothing compared to what I'm looking for.

I'm not proud of it, but after I had gone to Christopher on that day, the worst day –as Oskar Schell would say– I told myself I hadn't wasted my marriage for nothing, that there was actually something between Chris and me, so I tried. I tried to be with him, during the divorce and after, but only for three months, two weeks, five days and seven hours. That's when I had given up. That's when I realized there was nothing between Christopher and me, at least, not anymore. Not since Luke. Maybe before Luke, but not anymore. And that's the guy I had given up my marriage for. I've hated myself since then; for hurting Luke, for hurting myself and mostly, for hurting our innocent kids. I still hate myself, but I've learnt to live with that.

I still feel Max lips pressing urgently against mine. It feels so differently from what I'm used to. Luke's lips were firm, but his kiss was always soft, sensual, passionate. Even if it was just a peck, I could feel it all the way to the tip of my toes, from the first time he kissed me, to the last. And this, Max; I don't feel it anywhere. As he urges me to open my mouth with his tongue and, after I give him access, dances his tongue around mine, I know he's an excellent kisser, but it doesn't give me any tingly feelings anywhere.

I pull away from him and he opens his eyes. I smile at him, give him another peck on his lips and take out my keys to open the door to my house. As I open it, I step inside and turn around. I place myself against the doorpost, holding the open door closely against my back: no invitation in question. As I look at Max, I see a flash of disappointment in his face and I know he had the "third date is sex"-rule in his head, but it's not happening. Not today. And he knows that.

At our first date I told him I have been divorced for two years, but I hadn't dated anyone yet. He would be the first. That was only half a lie. Yes, I dated Chris after Luke, but I already dated him before, so Max was the only new guy I dated. I just left out the word 'new', that's all.

"Thank you for the wonderful evening," I say politely, still with that fake smug smile on my face.

"You're welcome," he replies, just as kindly, "Good night, Lorelai."

"Good night, Max." I give him one last bashful smile and then I close the door and Max walks back towards his car.

I lean against the closed door with a sigh, repeating the entire date in my mind. As I think back of the kiss, I slide to the floor, my back still against the door, and I bury my face in my hands as the tears start to run freely. Three dates and one kiss was the first step from me towards moving on, a big step towards trying to get over Luke, my ex-husband. Emphasis on 'ex'.