A/N: Here's the next, a bit longer, chapter of 'After Happily Ever After'. I hope you guys enjoy it. Don't hate me and definitely don't hate Elly! Sorry it's taking longer for me to upload. I had been toying with this idea for quite a while, but it turned out harder than I expected. That being said; I also started college again this year and so I'll have less time to write (AAWH). I'm Dutch and I'm studying English Language and Culture (aka. BRITISH). I'll try to keep writing American, but school wants me to stop doing that, so if it becomes more British, don't blame me and just go with it, okay?

Also; I know that Luke seems a bit out of character near the end of this chapter. I just always think Luke is different when he's alone with Lorelai and well, it has been two years, so just go with tha flow!

Niamh, thank you so much for taking some time out of your busy busy schedule to beta for me. Means a lot!

Please leave a review and follow/favorite if you want. It's so great to know your work is being appreciated.

Chapter 4: Almost is Not Enough

Michel had a free day today; there was no replacement for him and it was a busy day at the inn. So busy I didn't even have time to pick up my girls from school, even though it was my day to pick them up. I called Luke to ask him if it was okay for him to pick them up, keep them at the diner, feed them and for me to get them somewhere around eight. Of course that was okay. It's Luke. He would do anything for those two girls.

However, it's 7:16 P.M now and I'm at home, lying stretched out on the couch. After I grabbed a quick bite at the inn, I decided to stick to my agreement of 8:00 P.M. and give Luke a little more time with the girls. So I'm just watching some good old television.

Lying here, I feel my tiredness take over more than I have allowed it to all day. Slowly I can feel my eyes closing. I keep telling myself to stay awake, but it's like my eyes have a mind of their own and they are easily winning the battle against my brain.

I barely slept last night. I kept pondering over that kiss: the kiss I shared with Max last night. Even though it was a good kiss, I wasn't sure if I enjoyed it. My mind kept making an ever-growing Pro-Con list on Luke versus Max, and not surprisingly; Luke won. I wondered and I'm still wondering if I should end it with Max now, or see where it leads.

However hard I tried; I couldn't turn my thoughts off and enter the very welcome land of unconsciousness. I stayed awake all night. I had given up on my attempts around 4:30 A.M. and drank all the coffee in the house.

So, no; it's not strange that I'm tired.

The irony of it all is: that while I tried so hard to enter the land of hopes and dreams last night and failed, I now try to fight it off, but can't seem to be able to do that either.

The land of hopes and dreams... All my hopes and dreams come together in one man: handsome, kind, strong, caring, funny without trying to be funny, manly and so much more.

The last thing I remember before drifting off is Luke's friendly face smiling at me -a picture my mind has mastered to create ever so detailed due to years and years of studying said face- and I can't help but smile back.

The next thing I know is the feeling of a hand on my shoulder, gently shaking me, and a familiar voice calling me back to the land of the living.

I moan a little and carefully open my eyes, not allowing the light in all at once. As I stare into the same smiling face I had on my mind while falling asleep, I again smile back.

"Hey," Luke says softly. He's squatted down in front of the couch and he brushes a stray lock of hair from my face. I can't help but get a small tingly feeling in my stomach by the small gesture.

"Hey," I whisper back in a hoarse voice with a sheepish smile still on my face.

I notice that the TV is off. He must have turned it off.

I then come completely back to my senses and I immediately sit straight.

"Oh no, the girls! What time is it? I was supposed to pick up the girls!" I say a bit hysterical.

Luke fills up the vacant space my head just left by sitting down next to me. "It's okay," he says with a shrug and I can see that he means it, "I had nothing else planned."

I nod, but I repeat my question, "What time is it?"

Luke looks on his watch. "It's nine ten," he says.

I look around me, but I see nothing different than when I went to sleep, apart from Luke, who's now sitting next to me. "Where are the girls?" I ask confused.

"It was getting late and they were tired, so I just put them to bed," Luke points upstairs, "We waited until 8:45 before I decided to bring them over myself. Abby had already fallen asleep. I could have put them to bed in my house, but it's your turn today, so I figured you'd appreciate them sleeping here. Frankly, I don't even think Abbs noticed the transfer," Luke smirks and I picture him remembering the little girl he carried out of his house, into his car, out of his car again and upstairs to her bedroom. "I told them to keep quiet, to let you sleep and that I would tuck them in today," he continues, "I had to promise Elly you would go up for a goodnight kiss though."

I give him an encouraging smile. "Thank you," I say in awe and I brush my hand over his arm in a thankful motion. He doesn't seem to mind. He just smiles back at me.

"I hope it's okay; me walking in here like this? Elly told me to just walk in, like everyone does, like I used to do, so I did," Luke continues nervously, his eyes on me.

I take a quick glance at his hands as he plays with his fingers before I look back into his dark-blue questioning eyes. "That Elizabeth Danes," I say with a mock stern voice, "Oh, she's gonna hear from me tomorrow!"

Luke looks at me in shock. "No, don't…" he starts saying, but I cut him off.

"Luke, I was joking," I say with a chuckle as I place my hand reassuringly on his thigh, leaning in a bit. "Really, thank you," I continue genuinely grateful.

Luke just nods and we're both silent for a while. I then fall back into the cushions, my head falling backwards, and I cover my face with my hands. I can feel Luke's eyes on me.

"Oh, I cannot believe I fell asleep!" I grumble, my voice muffled by the palms of my own two hands, "They're gonna think I forgot them!"

"No, they don't think that," Luke says soothingly as he takes my wrists into his hands and pulls my hands from my face. I lift my head and face him again. "They know you love them more than anything."

I nod, "I hope so."

"So, how did you end up on your couch? I thought you had to work," Luke asks quickly, afraid I might get angry at his question or that I would think he was judging me, or something.

"I did," I answer him calmly, "but then, miracle of miracles, I was done around seven. I thought I'd stick to the time we agreed, 'cause you guys could still be eating. You always eat late, with the diner and everything." I shrug my shoulders.

Luke nods. "Yeah, I do."

"Anyway, I went home, watched some TV and obviously fell asleep," I finish my story.

"I can see that," Luke says, a smile tugging into face. He then looks at me more thoroughly. He even angles his head a bit to examine me even closer."

"Am I in a 'Law and Order' episode, or something? I feel like I'm being interrogated here," I say with a nervous laugh.

Luke chuckles. "Sorry," he says and he looks down at his own hands before looking into my eyes again. "You just look really tired, that's all."

I raise my eyebrows at him. "That's all? That's all?!" I say in a mock hurt voice, my volume rising, "Next you're gonna tell me I'm not pretty anymore!"

Luke just rolls his eyes and smiles at me, before he shakes his head. "You are still as beautiful as ever," he tells me.

The smile disappears from my face as a shocked impression takes its place. I did not expect a compliment like that from Luke anytime soon, or ever, really. But, he said it, loud and clear. I did not imagine it. I swallow away the lump that has formed in my throat. "Thank you," I whisper as I look down from embarrassment and awe. I can feel myself blushing.

Luke looks away uneasily. He's also red and he doesn't look at me. For a moment I think he accidentally let it slip. Maybe he told himself he couldn't allow thoughts like that about me, like I don't allow those thoughts about him, but like I said: sometimes they enter the mind anyway and Luke accidentally said it aloud.

I quickly shake that off. If he still feels that way about me, he can have me and he knows that. At least, I think he knows that.

Luke clears his throat and pretends he never said anything out of the ordinary as he looks at me again. "Have you been having any trouble sleeping?" he asks, genuinely concerned.

I shake my head. "It was just last night. It was nothing. One of those nights, y'know?"

"Yeah, sure," he says unconvincingly.

He leans closer to me and starts talking softer, as if otherwise people can hear us, while there's no one around. "You know, you can talk to me about it, if you want. I'm still your friend. You can tell me what's bothering you," he says with a shrug as if it's no big deal.

I smile at him, thankful for those words. I can't really explain to you how much they mean to me, but I'll try. You see; the worst thing about this divorce is that I thought I didn't only lose my husband, but also my best friend. Now, we may never be best friends again, but I will wholeheartedly take Luke as 'just my good friend'. After all, he's the only one that knows me through and through.

However, I don't think I can tell my friend Luke the real reason I had been awake all night. I can't tell him about Max.

"There's nothing to tell, but thank you."

"Lorelai…" Luke continues with a sigh, "Please just tell me. I still care. I wanna help."

I take a deep breath and let it out loudly. Sure, I can lie to him; make something up about genuine concern about the inn or the girls or Rory, but I won't. A lie is what started our entire separation and I am not going to continue down that road. And frankly, a lie is a lousy basis for a friendship.

"It's just…" I start, deciding to tell the truth, "I- eh. I started dating again."

I wait patiently for a reaction from him and as I watch him closely I think I see a glimpse of hurt covering his features, but it disappears just as quickly as it came.

Luke swallows and says slowly, "O-kay," waiting for me to continue.

"Well- it's been a while, you know? I mean, since I had to start from the complete beginning again," I say quickly, so he can't bring Christopher up.

"Sure," he says. Of course he understands. It's the same for him.

"I just… I don't really know how it goes anymore, if the rules are changed," I continue.

"First dates are the worst," he says knowingly. I smile at him, remembering how he told me on our first date that he hates first dates; absolutely not a good topic for a first date, I can tell you, but I just laughed at him back then.

"Yeah," I say slowly. "Look, I- I don't really wanna get into this with you. It's just weird and awkward, but yeah- that's where my mind was last night."

"Alright," he says a bit relieved, "but I don't think you have anything to worry about."

"I don't?" I ask him surprised.

He shrugs his shoulders again, "You dragged me through our first date; made me feel the most comfortable I ever felt during a first date."

"I did?" I say, even more surprised than before. "I thought I always made you feel uncomfortable," I joke.

Luke turns a bit red. "Both, I guess. If that makes sense."

"It does. To me it does," I smile.

Luke reaches out his hand and he puts a loose stray of hair behind my left ear. He repeats this a few times; while there's no loose stray anymore. Technically, he's caressing my hair right now; something he used to do all the time. That man loved my hair.

Immediately, another lump forms in my throat. I try to swallow it away, but I'm unsuccessful. I feel like my body is frozen, yet I lean a little bit closer to Luke as I keep staring at him, my face a mask of shock and hope.

"You initiated our first kiss," he continues in a whisper as he smiles at me. He also leans in closer to me, but there is still about a foot of space between us.

I swallow, but I still can't say anything, so I nod. I place my right hand on his thigh, squeezing it softly, just so I have a reason to once again decrease that foot-long distance between us.

"I remember it well," Luke says as if I put a spell over him; or maybe it was the memory of our first date that enchanted him. "It was soft. So soft. You brushed your lips against mine in the barest, gentlest touch." He uses his thumb of his right hand, that was still touching my cheek, to brush it lightly over my lips; first my upper lip, then my lower lip, as he moves closer still.

I realize that my mouth is slightly open, but I don't do anything apart from moving my thumb in circles on his thigh.

"I was so surprised. You were so straight-forward, but I immediately kissed you back, turning the kiss into more than just a brush of lips.'

I keep staring into his eyes and he does the same to me. I'm drawn towards them. They are pulling me closer and closer as if they have a power of their own, as if they are hypnotizing me. As that magical dark blue sea keeps coming closer, I wonder if I'm still dreaming, but as I finally close my eyes and feel the lightest touch of his firm lips against mine, I know that it's not a dream. This is real. This is happening.

And if it weren't the feeling of his lips on mine again for the first time in two years, it would have been the sudden opening of the door bringing me back to reality.

Luke and I quickly pull away from each other in shock of the sudden interruption and we face the little girl in the door-opening, that caused that light brush of lips to remain just a simple peck before it could turn into anything more.

"Elly!" Luke says, quickly standing on his two feet again, "What are you doing up?"

Elly looks from Luke to me and back to Luke again. "I was waiting for Mommy," she says innocently, "I didn't have my kiss yet."

"Right," I say, a bit saddened by the unwelcome interruption, "You go upstairs, I'll be right there."

Elly nods, but doesn't move. Instead she stares at Luke. "You going to sleep, Daddy?" she asks.

"Not yet, sweety," Luke smiles at her.

"Then why did Mommy give you a kiss? She always gives me and Abby kisses when we go to sleep," she explains.

"Right…" Luke says as he walks over to her. "No, I was just going home." He gives Elly a kiss on the top of her head and then quickly waves at me without looking at me. He walks in the direction of the front door, but is stopped in his tracks by Elly's question.

"Why can't you sleep here? Like you always did."

I stand up and walk towards our daughter. As I squat down in front of her I try to explain it to her. "Sweets, Daddy doesn't live here anymore. You know that."

"But why not?" she wants to know.

I don't know what to say. I look at Luke, but he also doesn't seem to know what to say. How do you explain a divorce to a ten-year old; to someone who doesn't know, and wouldn't even understand, all the drama we've been through?

As we remain quiet, Elly looks at her father. "Don't you love Mommy anymore," she asks on the verge of crying. I rub my hand soothingly over her arm, but I look at Luke, curious for his answer.

Luke seems at a loss for words. He just stands there, staring at Elly, who stares back at him. After what seems like hours, I decide to chime in, "C'mon, Honey. It's too late for this. Let's bring you to bed." I try to direct her back towards the stairs, but she refuses. She folds her arms stubbornly over her chest and taps her feet on the ground as she impatiently waits for her father's answer.

Luke sighs and quickly looks at me. "Of course I still love your Mommy," he says in a slightly hoarse voice, now deliberately avoiding my gaze. I don't think Luke means love love, as in –the happily ever after– kind of love, but more the general kind of love; the one for a friend, someone you've known for years and who knows you best; that kind of love.

"Then why?" Oh yes, that's my girl; not giving up till she gets her father to tell her exactly what she wants to know. Not completely a Daddy's girl after all.

Unfortunately this question is also directed towards me. Why do I always have to be so stubborn? Why do I always have to get involved in other people's business, unconsciously teaching my daughters to do the same? Payback is a bitch…

I take a deep breath. "Sweets, remember when I told you Daddy and I are fighting; just like you and Becky once were?"

Elly thinks deeply and then nods. "But me and Becky are friends again," she says as a way of explaining her confusion.

"Yes, but…" I try to explain, "I- I did something really stupid and your father hasn't forgiven me yet, but you did forgive Becky."

"Okay. I understand," Elly says diplomatically and then directs her attention back to Luke, who is also squatted in front of her now, sitting on my right side, "When will you forgive Mommy?"

Luke sighs and pats her hair, "I don't know, El."

"So you're not going to live here anymore?" she wants to know as she runs her hand over her cheek to keep her tears from flooding.

Luke shakes his head and I see a tear rolling from Elly's face, despite her attempts to avoid them. "Sorry," Luke whispers.

I'm trying to think of a way to cheer her up. After all, this is not news for her. Luke hasn't lived her for two years. New for me though, is that, apparently, my daughter had been having hopes all this time that we would get back together someday; the very same hopes I've been holding on to. "But you like having two rooms, remember? A lot of space for your piles and piles of toys."

"Yeah, I do. Becky is so jealous. She also wants two different rooms," she says, her face turning into a satisfied smile.

I laugh. "Come on, Sleeping Beauty. Time for bed now."

Luke gives Elly another goodnight kiss and wishes us both a goodnight. I give him a nod and gently brush my hand over his arm before I push Elly towards the stairs. As I walk behind her, I turn around to quickly catch a glance of Luke's retreating back before the front door closes behind him, taking my beautiful visual away.

A/N: I have a treat for you in the next chapter, and I've already started writing it, so stay tuned!