I am so sorry for taking so long. This chapter had been finished for quite a while and my rock Niamh checked it weeks ago, I believe. I just hadn't edited it yet. For college I had to write a short story, which turned out a lot like this chapter. That, and other schoolwork, has been keeping me rather busy. But, here it is: chapter 6! All I can ask you is to, please, read the whole chapter. Don't stop halfway; you might be surprised. Once you've done so, you'll understand why ;).

Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 6: A Real Goodbye?

It hadn't been hasty. It hadn't been two people who just wanted sex. It shouldn't even be called 'sex', 'one night stand', or 'fucking', or anything in that trend. What happened six days ago, had been what it used to be, before our marriage went bad. It had felt like it used to feel. It had been an act of two people who share a history, who share a family, who share a deep friendship for one another and who still share a desire for each other. It should be called 'making love', because that is what it was: love. L-o-v-e. It had been so simple, so familiar. After two years, it was all still there.

If it wasn't for my doubts regarding Luke's feelings for me, I would have been walking around town with the brightest smile on my face, but the doubts are all there, close to the surface, and they should be.

Just like when we shared that minor kiss, Luke pretended like nothing had happened. For six days I had been trying to do the same, but I wasn't as successful as Luke. All I wanted to do, and still want to do, is talk.

Yesterday, Sookie had noticed something was wrong.

"What's wrong, Honey?" Sookie asks me concerned after she sent her staff out of her kitchen for some girl talk and put the big knife she was holding down—to my relief.

"Nothing," I tell her with a fake smile.

"You can tell me, Lorelai," Sookie insisted, "I'm your best friend."

Playing the 'BFF'-card is always a smart move, and Sookie knows that.

I take a deep breath and slowly let the air escape again. "I slept with him," I tell Sookie truthfully.

Sookie squeals triumphantly. "That is amazing! I can't believe it. Tell me everything. I want to know. Aah! I can't believe you had… you know… with Max!" Sookie yells, her enthusiastic, jumpy self.

"It's not Max," I tell Sookie, looking down shamefully and biting my lower lip, afraid of her reaction.

"What?" Sookie asks confused, "Weren't you dating him?"

"I was…"

"Then… Who did you sleep with?" Sookie asks, a bit mad, but mostly interested.

"Luke," I sigh and I casually turn around, walk over to the fruit bowl and take out an apple as if I do that every day—both the apple and Luke.

"Luke? You slept with Luke?!" Sookie screams.

"Ssh!" I exclaim, as I try to prevent the entire inn from knowing about my sex-life.

"You slept with Luke?" Sookie whispers, but still sounding urgent.

"Yes," I say and I can't help but smile as I take a bite from the apple I'm holding, not knowing what else to do with it and I quickly pull a disgusted face. I really do not like apples.

"How? When?"

"Remember five days ago, you were trying to pry out of me why I was back late from lunch?"

"Yes," Sookie says, frowning her eyebrows as if she wonders what that has to do with anything.

I look intently at Sookie, my eyebrows raised as I try to get her to understand with my eyes.

Sookie finally gets it. "That's why you were late?"

"Yes," I say, blushing a bit.

"What does this mean?" Sookie wants to know, "Are you guys getting back together?"

I sigh. "I don't know. I-I don't think so."

"But you want to, right?"

"Yes," I nod my head and then turn to shaking it instead. "Ever since it happened, I've wanted to talk to him about it, but Luke's been pretending like nothing happened."

"Men…" Sookie says conspiratorially and shakes her head, which makes me laugh.

"Okay," Sookie says completely serious again, after she lets out her final laugh, "Tell me exactly what happened. Don't leave any details…"

I'm lying in my bed. It's two A.M., but I can't sleep. I am trying to decide whether or not to talk to him about the other night, but I keep changing my mind. I want to tell him how much I still love him and how much that night meant to me. I want to hear him tell me that he still loves me too, that he wants to leave the past in the past and that we'll go back to the way we used to be—but I know that's only the fairytale I've made up in my head.

But, it has been a week. Every day I wait it's going to be harder to bring up. Then again, do I really want to hear Luke say that we're over—again? Do I want to have my heart broken—again?

As I doze off, I decide to leave it at this, to not reopen old wounds. What is the point anyhow?

I am wakened by the sound of the doorbell. I moan a little and then slowly open my eyes to get used to the bright light that's flowing into my room. I turn to my side and wait until I get a clear picture of the numbers on my Hello Kitty alarm clock. It reads 11:13 A.M.

Shit, I overslept. Luke was supposed to drop the kids off at ten A.M. It must be him at the door and he must be running late too. Or maybe we agreed on eleven? I can't remember.

I get out of bed and place my sock cladded feet on the cold floor. I shiver a little as the warm blankets leave my body. I quickly reach for my red bathrobe and pull it on over my sweater and 'jogging' pants.

As I slowly walk down the stairs, the doorbell rings for a second time.

"Yeah, yeah, comin'!" I yell in the direction of the door, "Relax a little! It's early on a Saturday morning!"

Finally, I make it to the door and pull it open before an impatient Luke uses the buzzer for a third time.

On the other side of the door are my two younger daughters standing hand in hand, but instead of their usual smiling faces, there are tears streaming down their cheeks and their eyes are puffy and red. And instead of Luke standing behind them, holding their shoulders protectively, it's an unfamiliar man in a police uniform—definitely not a Stars Hollow resident.

My hands fall to my side and I stare shocked at the picture before me. Before I realize it, Elly and Abby are hugging me tightly, both sobbing in my robe. Automatically I place my arms around each of them, but I keep staring at the unfamiliar police officer.

"Are you Lorelai Gilmore, miss?" he asks me politely.

"Y-yes," I say hoarsely, my voice sounding nervous.

"I am officer Derkley. Are you familiar with one Mr. Lucas Danes?"

"Luke? Yes. He-uh, he is my-uh ex-husband and f-father of my k-kids."

The officer nods. "And is it true that you're his emergency contact person?"

"I-I think so…" I try to remember, but my mind is blank. "Please, tell me what happened," I whisper.

"Can I come in, ma'am?"

It takes a while for me to process what he's just said, but eventually I step aside, pulling my daughters, who are still clinging to me, with me.

"Maybe you should sit down, ma'am," the officer tells me when we reach the living room. I do as I'm told and Elly and Abby find themselves a place on the sofa on either side of me, both sitting as closely to me as humanly possible.

Officer Derkley takes off his hat in what I'm sure is a way to show respect.

I don't want to hear it, the girls' tears tell me enough, but I know I have to. "Just tell me," I whisper with tears in my eyes.

"I'm very sorry to say that Mr. Danes was involved in a car accident this morning. The paramedics have done their very best to revive him, but his injuries were too severe. He died at the scene. I'm so sorry."

The tears stream silently down my face and I clamp myself to my kids as he speaks. I hear his words, but they don't quite make sense to me. It takes a while for the words to sink in, but then, I break. I let out a quivering sound, too soft to be a scream. I feel Elly's arms tighten around me as I start to cry hysterically. All the feeling has gone from my limbs. My body feels paralyzed, completely out of control, as if it refuses to accept this inconceivable and heart-wrenching truth.

After what seems like hours, but I'm sure is only a few minutes, I swallow, and say, barely understandable, "H-how?"

The officer takes a breath. "A bystander told us that the youngest girl," he nods towards Abby who starts crying even louder. I'm not sure she even understands what's happening, but she cries along with her sister and mother. "She suddenly ran into the street. There was a car speeding towards her. Mr. Danes was just in time to pull her out of the way, and got himself caught in the impact instead," the officer explains.

Abby suddenly removes her head from my chest and looks up at me with big reddened eyes. "I was a bad girl, Mommy!" she cries hysterically. I place my hand lovingly on her cheek and stroke her hair. I give her a reassuring smile, hoping to tell her, even through my own tears, that it's okay, that I'm not mad. "I have ouch," she continues, showing me the packed wound on her elbow. I take her arm and look at it for a little while, before I bend forward and press a kiss on the white bandage. "Daddy has ouch too," Abby continues, now whispering.

I don't understand how, but I'm keeping myself together. Maybe the thought of never seeing Luke again hasn't really sunk in yet, or maybe it's because I have to stay strong for Elly and Abby. Maybe it's a combination of the two.

"He is not in pain anymore, sweetie, " I tell her softly as I hold Elly even closer to me. She looks up at me and I give her the same reassuring smile I gave Abby.

"But Daddy was bleeding," Abby says confused, cleaning her nose with a swipe of the back of her hand. I want to take off my red robe. The color suddenly feels offensive to me—to Luke.

I nod at her. "Daddy d-d-died, sweetie," I feel my tears welling up again and I try to swallow them away. Elly places her head back on my shoulder and starts crying even harder, as if my words make it even more real to her.

"Remember when Paul Anka died? Remember where he went?" I ask hoarsely, my throat closing even more at the thought of my beloved dog.

"Doggy heaven," Elly finally speaks, keeping her position close to me.

Abby nods, "Is Daddy there now too?"

"No, sweetie. Daddy is in human heaven," I explain in just a whisper.

"But, we never saw Paul Anka again," Abby says and I shake my head, while swallowing a few more times so I won't break down in front of them.

"Will I ever see my Daddy again?" Abby whispers now too, as if she already knows the answer, but doesn't want to believe it, until I confirm it.

"No," I say with a cry I can no longer hold in. I take my hand from Abby's hair and place it before my mouth in the hope of hiding my sobbing.

"But I want my Daddy," Abby whispers, tears rolling silently down her cheeks again. "I want my Daddy! I want my Daddy" Abby starts yelling hysterically, hitting my legs with her fists, which only makes me cry even harder.

I put my arm around her shoulder and pull her close to me again, holding her tightly. "I know, I know," I say through my sobs, "I know sweets. Me too."

"I want my…" she whispers again, but her words are cut off by her own sobbing.

We sit there on the sofa a little while longer, crying and holding each other tightly. I can't explain how much of a support it is to have my girls close to me, but eventually I start to pull myself together again.

"Miss Gilmore?" the officer pulls me out of our small circle. I had totally forgotten he was here, but I look up. "Is there anyone I can call for you?" he asks me.

"Um," I swallow, but I don't have to think long, "My daughter, Rory."

I want to get up, but Elly won't let me, so I sink back into the pillows of the couch.

"Her number is on the side-table," I tell him.

After a while the officer comes back and informs me that Rory is on her way. He is about to leave when something pops into my head.

"Sir!" I call and he turns around, "C-Can I see him? Today…"

"Certainly, ma'am," he says, "I myself shall take you to the mortuary."

"Thank you," I whisper and we wait in silence for Rory's arrival.

"Mom? Mom?!" Rory calls as she enters the house moments later. She immediately spots us as she walks into the living room. She looks at us for a little while before she squats down before me. "Mom, what's wrong? What happened?"

"It's Luke," I whisper in a choked voice after a short silence, "He… He…" I'm unable to form the words, so I just shake my head and I can feel the fresh tears on my cheeks.

Rory understands and places both her hands before her mouth, which had dropped open. "No," she says in utter disbelief, while the tears well up in her eyes, "No. Luke can't be… He can't be dead."

I nod. "Car accident," and I hug my oldest close to me, her head on my shoulder, as we cry together. I feel Rory shaking against my body and I can hear her quivering breath. She shakes her head as if she doesn't want to believe the news she has just received. She lets out a gasp and leans away from me a bit. She turns her head from left to right, staring at her younger siblings one by one, as she realizes they have just lost their father. Rory once admitted to me that she's a bit jealous of Elly and Abby for having such a present and loving dad, while she had to do with Christopher. Things have changed now. Rory lets out another a heart-wrenching sob and holds me tightly again, her face hidden in my neck.

After a while I let go of her and get up from the couch. "I need you to stay with the girls," I tell Rory as I softly push her into the vacant place on the sofa between Elly and Abby.

"Why?" Rory asks me hoarsely through her tears before she sits down, "Where are you going?"

I wipe my face on my robe and throw it off, leaving me in my sweater and jogging pants—not exactly my best look, but it'll have to do. "I need to see him," I tell Rory.

"What? Now?!" I've barely given Rory time to process the news and I've already put her in charge of her shocked, traumatized sisters.

"Yes," I say with determination, "The officer is going to take me there. I won't be long." I turn around towards the door and motion the officer to do the same.

"Mom!" Rory calls and I turn around to see three faces, all wet due to their tears, staring at me.

I sigh and walk back to them. I squat down in front of Elly, "I'll be right back, sweets." Elly nods, I place a kiss on her cheek and move over to Abby. I give her a kiss too, but Abby throws both her arms around my neck and holds me close. "I know, sweets, I know. Mommy won't be long, okay?" I rub her back soothingly and nearly choke over my own words. "You're going to stay with Rory for a little while." Abby nods and places a quick kiss on my lips. I move over to Rory. "I need this, honey. Please."

"Okay," she whispers and I also place a kiss on her cheek before I leave the house with Officer Derkley.

I am directed into a cold room. I don't want to look too much around me. I don't want to remember Luke in this room. I want to think of him working in his diner, or laying lazily on the couch in my living room, or ranting on our way to a town's meeting—anywhere but this cold room.

Luke is lying on a table, a sheet covering him. I wait in the doorway for Officer Derkley to lower the sheet so Luke's face is visible. As I see him, I gasp and quickly cover my mouth in my hands as the tears silently flow down my face. Officer Derkley walks back towards me and tells me he'll be in the hallway if I need him before he closes the door behind me.

I take a few seconds to take some deep breaths before I walk over to him. I stare at his face. There are a few abrasions on it, but otherwise he looks the same as he did yesterday, only without his usual black hat. You often hear people say that the dead always smile, because their face muscles go lax and they are lying on their back, allowing gravity to take over. I get it now. It really looks like he's smiling. He looks very peaceful.

It's strange. The way he is laying makes me think back to last week when we were lying in the bed of his old apartment. Luke is—sorry… was—one of those typical guy's guys. After sex he usually fell asleep rather quickly, completely satisfied. I've lost count of how often I've stared at him, but I can tell you, it was no different last week. He was lying on his back, his arms propped under his head and a smile on his face, in his proud, cocky way of saying: look what I just accomplished. Right now, he is laying exactly the same; only his arms are placed neatly behind his body.

"Oh Luke," I whisper as I touch my fingers doubtfully to his forehead. He feels cold, but it's not as scary as I thought it would be, so I place my hand a bit firmer on him and run it back and forth through his hair, just like I'd done last time.

"Luke?" I whisper, checking if he's really asleep. I get no reaction. "What does this mean?" I continue as I lay on my side, "Is this you and me getting back together, or is this our way of finally, officially saying goodbye to each other? It's up to you." I stare at him a little longer, my face close to his, taking in every detail, as I keep patting his hair.

I bend forward, my face closer to his, "I didn't mean such an official goodbye. I meant a goodbye from our relationship, not goodbye forever." I bend myself even further, my head lower than the table and my face facing my knees as I take a few deep breaths to get myself together. I have to tell him what I need him to know. I look up again, and can't help but gasp a bit as I see his motionless face again. "Oh, what did you do? How could you leave us? We all need you, Luke. All your girls need you. You're our guy. Elly and Abby, don't you want to see them grow up, walk them down the aisle at their wedding? And April already had too little time with you. It's not fair on her. Rory… She has always seen you as her dad. You were there for her when her own father wasn't and she still needs you. And then there is me," I let out a loud sob, but quickly gather myself again, "I can't even remember what my life was before I met you. It wasn't as good, I can tell you that. How can I live without the coffee? And a personal handyman? Your delicious burgers? And my favorite pastime: mocking you, annoying you, staring at you?" I chuckle slightly, but immediately swallow. "How am I going to raise our girls without you? They need their daddy... I can't…" I shake my head. "Thank you, for saving our beautiful little girl. I guess, now it's time for you to be reunited with your parents." I shake my head. "I'm glad you get to see them again. Just don't make me look too bad in your stories, okay?"

I take a little time to take a few deep breaths. I can barely get the words out anymore as I'm overwhelmed by emotions. My tears run freely, and my voice sounds hoarse. "You're my best friend, Luke," I continue, "and you're the love of my life. I was so lucky to know you and to spend so much time with you. I will miss you so, so much and I will always love you."

I look at Luke a little while longer, still stroking his hair. I take another deep breath and lean forward. Very softly I touch my warm, tear-stained lips to his cold, dry ones. "Goodbye, my friend, my love, my hero."

I'm suddenly jolted from my nightmare and sit straight in my bed. I look around me a bit distraught and I bring my hands to my face, feeling the fresh tears there. I then look at the Hello Kitty alarm clock. It's only 7:34 A.M. I quickly make up my mind and jump out of bed. I don't care about my sweater and jogging pants. I run downstairs, grab my keys and quickly leave my house. Stars Hollow is a small town. Basically everything is at a walking distance, but I sprint towards Luke's home. I ring the bell several times, not caring who I wake in the process. All I can think of is that I hope I'm in time to prevent what had just happened in my unconscious state. After what seems like hours, the door is finally opened.

After I wrote this (and my short story), I realized that I am all right at writing love, drama and maybe even humor, but I am pretty crappy at writing disaster. I won't be doing that for quite a while and this story is going back to its normal routine—no dreams, just every day life.

NB. I started on chapter 7, but, again, it can take some time for me to finish it.