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RWBY:
The Blond And The Valkyrie
By typicalteenager.
Disclaimer: I do not, and never will, own RWBY and anything related to it (except maybe my OCs: Oh, like you haven't made your own RWBY OC!). Which is a good thing, as I never would have come up with something so awesome and enjoyable.
Anyway, on with the show.
Chapter 2: Reactions
It almost went without saying, but will still be said anyway, that Nora's actions were like a pebble splashing in the waters of a garden pond, creating outwards ripples across the entire body of water: in this case, Beacon Academy.
Yang Xiao Long was surprised. Nora and Jaune, sitting in a tree? Wow. I did not see that coming.
Weiss looked shocked, but inside was doing a little jig. Yes! Maybe now he'll stop bothering me and calling me by that stupid nickname!
Ruby and Pyrrha were externally silent, but internally screaming in anger. NOOOO! GET YOUR HANDS OF MY JAUNEY NORA! AND DON'T CALL HIM JAUNEY: THAT'S MY PRIVATE NICKNAME FOR HIM THAT HE DOESN'T YET KNOW ABOUT!
Had the two redheads been able to read the other's mind, they would have been glaring at each other with intensity. But they couldn't, so never mind.
A few tables away, a rabbit-eared Faunus was cooing over Beacon's latest couple. Aw~ they look so cute together!
A few more tables away, one team of 4 males were staring with disgust and contempt that the blond dork had managed to get himself a girl. Of course the team's leader owed his life to the same blond dork for saving him, but they weren't going to let something like that stop them.
Staring through the window from outside the Cafeteria, a blond Faunus and his blue haired friend were high-fiving each other while laughing at the scene, the Faunus's tail holding a scroll set on record.
Blake, along with the majority of the students present, were like Yang surprised, their main thought being I thought she and Ren were a couple…
Nora was still giving her all into the kiss, with one thought on her mind. Oh wow, my Jauney's such a good kisser! And this is him in shock that I'm returning his feelings for me. Imagine how he'll be when we're properly tongue wrestling~.
And Jaune? Well…
System reboot in progress… data recovery at 9%...
The rest of the day was a bit of a mixed bag for Jaune. Because everyone had chosen their seats for each class at the start of the semester, he spent the afternoon sat between Pyrrha and Weiss, meaning Nora had to stay in her usual seat next to Ren.
Though she had puffed her cheeks and pouted a little at this, she'd returned to her chirpy self once she'd begun talking to Ren.
Oddly, Ren looked surprisingly relaxed and chirpy himself compared to normal.
Jaune's brain would have probably made a bigger deal of this had it not still been trying to reboot. A process that was made more difficult for two reasons: one either side of him.
Pyrrha was focused solely on the lessons, her face set in a disgusted expression that frankly scared him.
And Weiss was in a cheerful mood, actually conversing with him, and even initiating some of the conversations.
What little of Jaune's brain that was still functioning wondered if his Semblance was to alter reality, or maybe to end up in an alternate universe. It would explain why today was turning out the way it was.
When the day's lessons had finally ended, the sun was setting outside (Fridays always had lectures last until the evening), and Jaune headed slowly back to his dorm, with a set of notes that were scrawled all over the pages, with little to no order. They look like how he imagined Nora's notes would look.
Nora…
He very quickly got off that train of thought, before he remembered the events from lunch and his brain shut down again.
It didn't help that everyone around him was whispering and glancing at him, and there was no doubt what they were referring to. Nora's declaration had been echoed through the cafeteria, and those students who hadn't been present were quickly informed through school-yard gossip and a video of the whole thing that had been uploaded as a free download onto the inter-scroll network.
Jaune just stared straight ahead, and focused on the sound of his footsteps. He wanted to go to bed and sleep. Tomorrow was the weekend, and with any luck he'd wake up and find this whole day to have just been some crazy dream.
It wasn't until he was opening the door into their room that he remembered who exactly shared this room with him.
"JAUNEY!"
Before Jaune could do anything, he was grabbed by his jacket, pulled into the room, and thrown onto his bed. He just managed to sit up when something blue jumped into his lap and wrapped itself around him in a hug.
Trying not to have another mental shutdown at the fact that a female other than his Mother was hugging him, Jaune tilted his head to the side to see a block of orange hair, confirming his fears.
Nora.
Nora Valkyrie, who had earlier declared herself to be his girlfriend to the whole of Beacon.
Nora Valkyrie, who had managed to get back to their room ahead of him, removed her battle outfit, and put on her pyja-
Jaune's train of thought came screeching off the rails as he realised that Nora didn't have blue pyjamas. The only member of JNPR who did was him.
And his were not pyjamas in the traditional sense of the term.
Very slowly, Jaune turned his head down to look at Nora's blue-clad body.
Although his eyes registered the sight before them, he still had to vocalise what his eyes were seeing to make sure he hadn't gone mad.
"Nora" he rasped, his throat having suddenly turned drier than a desert.
Nora leaned back slightly, so that the two were face to face. "Yes, Jauney?~"
Jaune gave an involuntary shudder at Nora's tone of affection. Whether it was a shudder of joy or terror was unbeknown to him.
"You're… you're wearing my onesie."
"Yeeeeeeep."
And with that verbal confirmation, Jaune's brain crashed yet again. His face contorted into an expression which would have those with medical knowledge think he was having a stroke.
Of course, Nora being… Nora, thought his 'shock' was cute, and giggled at the sight.
Her giggles cut through Jaune like a bullet, his broken mind trying to decide whether to categorize Nora's giggles as 'cute', 'music to his ears', or 'a sign of the Apocalypse."
It was interrupted by a cry of alarm. His head turning on autopilot, his eyes registered Pyrrha, Ren, and Team RWBY standing in the doorway, looking at them.
Pyrrha was gripping the door handle so tightly that it was slowly being crushed in her hand, her face bearing a look of thunder.
Ren, who's facial portrayal of emotion was… minimalist (to put it politely), was clearly trying not to burst out howling with laughter, his cheeks puffed up and his face turning red.
Ruby's face was a near perfect match for Pyrrha's, though a little less 'rage' and a little more 'indignation', and she was holding a folded Crescent Rose in a similar death grip.
Yang's face was a much more normal version of Jaune's, as if her brain was trying to process that yes, Nora was cuddling up to Jaune whilst wearing his onesie.
And Blake and Weiss, who had shown the least interest in this new relationship earlier (though internally Weiss had had plenty of delight), were blushing so hard that their faces were practically a glowing lantern, as their minds, filled with great literature and in Blake's case the Ninjas of Love Series (which was great literature, and anyone who said otherwise would be in for a pummelling), registered the level of intimacy Nora was demonstrating in wearing an item of Jaune's clothing.
It was due to her state of shock at said intimacy that Blake was the one who broke the silence, with a high-pitched squeak of "What is going on here?"
Jaune's mind, registering the question as open to all, tried to articulate a response, but in its broken state could only cause him to open and close his mouth slowly and repeatedly in a decent imitation of a goldfish.
Nora, of course, was beaming at their observers. "I'm cuddling up to my boyfriend of course!" she answered, giving her biggest smile.
A twitch began to occur in Ruby's left eye, a dulled crunch was heard as Pyrrha's grip on the door handle tightened enough to finally crush it into a fine metallic powder, Weiss and Blake's faces went even redder, as did Ren's (theirs at the open honesty of Nora's statement, his from the increased difficulty of trying not to laugh), and even Yang started to blush a little.
It was Yang who spoke next, in a need to vocalise the sight before her as Jaune had done earlier. "You've got his onesie on."
Nora's initial response was the same she had given Jaune. "Yeeeeeeep." Then after a moment, she added "It's so comfortable. I can see why Jauney likes it. And the bunny slippers are soooo cuuute!~"
She giggled with joy for a few moments, oblivious to the atmosphere around her.
Then, one hand clutching over her heart, she added in a longing, sweet tone one normally only heard from Yang when teasing, "And it has his scent."
You could almost hear the resulting snap of the minds of 5 girls and 1 blond knight at this bold statement.
It was too much for Yang, Blake, and Weiss, all three of them practically tomatoes by this point, as they sprinted into their room, the door slamming shut behind them.
They were closely followed by howling laughter.
Jaune automatically turned to Ren, who had finally exploded, and was now lying on the floor on his stomach, clutching his ribs and literally crying with laughter.
Then it dawned on him that he could hear more than one voice laughing, and it was coming from the opposite side of the room. He turned his head.
Hanging by his tail upside down outside the window, Sun Wukong was clutching at his side with one hand, howling in laughter like Ren.
And though it was hard to see him, the edge of a red jacket sleeve and a few strands of blue hair showed that his teammate, Neptune Vasilias, was standing just out of sight on the ledge, crying with laughter as well.
Then, Jaune noticed that Sun's other hand was clutching a scroll, and his broken brain, making a connection, suddenly started working again. He jumped to his feet, his arm stretched out and one finger pointing accusingly at Sun. "You!" he cried, more in shock than anger. "You recorded that video in the Cafeteria, didn't you?!"
It was at this point that Jaune realised that, instead of falling off, Nora was still cuddling him, her legs wrapped around his sides, her arms wrapped under his armpits, and her head buried into his chest, just above his heart. She let out a content "Hmmm, Jauney~" from her position.
Jaune's brain threatened to fall apart again.
It was also the straw that broke the camel's back. In this case, a camel named Pyrrha Nikos. With a screech of "GET OFF HIM!" she pulled out her shield and arched her arm back with the intent of throwing it at her.
Nora lifted her head and looked at Pyrrha in bewilderment. What was she so upset about? This behaviour was perfectly normal between two lovers.
Still, the look on Pyrrha's face was one Nora did not like, and one she wanted removed as soon as possible. So with a sigh of "okay", she let go of Jaune.
But instead of sticking her feet down to land on them, she let herself fall onto her bottom with a thump.
The result of this was that Pyrrha's shield, which was thrown at the same moment Nora dropped, whooshed through the air, millimetres from Jaune's nose, smashed through the window…
…and hit Sun in the crotch.
The force of the blow caused Sun to cry out an opera note in pain, and more importantly his tail to involuntarily let go of whatever it was wrapped around.
Sun's cry of pain turned into a cry of alarm as he suddenly disappeared from view, a loud metallic crash ringing out as he landed on top of the dustbins below.
"OW! Oh Oum my back! My head! It all hurts so much! OH SWEET OUM MY SINUSES! It smells worse than Neptune after a workout!"
"Hahahahaha- Hey!"
Typicalteenager:
This is typicalteenager of the S.S. Nora's Arc, reporting in to HQ.
Firstly, and most importantly, IF ANYONE MAKES A PICTURE OF NORA WEARING JAUNE'S ONESIE, I WILL BE YOUR FRIEND FOR LIFE AND I WILL USE THE BEST ONE AS THE STORY'S COVER IMAGE!
*Ahem*
Secondly, just to be clear, I am not making light of strokes. I am well aware of how serious and horrible they are. It's just that the description was the best way of getting across the image of Jaune's face.
So, like I said in the previous Author's Note, this fanfic's really gotten into my head, resulting in my first ever next day update!
Although Soloman the Blood God readers will probably be ticked off that I didn't update that story…
*Looks cautiously around to make sure the coast is clear*
Sadly, with a full week of work ahead, I'm afraid you'll have to wait until next weekend for an update.
Also, don't worry about Sun Wukong bashing: it's not happening. He's just had a moment of bad luck. Things will get better for him.
To give you an idea of where I plan for this story to be going, one of the other inspirations behind this fanfic (is it a fanfic or a crackfic? What do you think?) is the Naruto crackfic The Great Romantic by MogtheGnome, where a series of convoluted events lead to everyone thinking that Naruto and Tenten are an item, including Tenten, with a very confused Naruto at the centre. Like that crackfic, a good chunk of the story will be the actions and reactions of everyone else to Nora x Jaune.
Anyway, until next time, enjoy! Typicalteenager over and out!