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RWBY:

The Blond And The Valkyrie

By typicalteenager.

Disclaimer: I do not, and never will, own RWBY and anything related to it (except maybe my OCs: Oh, like you haven't made your own RWBY OC!). Which is a good thing, as I never would have come up with something so awesome and enjoyable.

Anyway, on with the show.

Chapter 3: The Next Morning

The sun was strong and bright as it welcomed a new day over Remnant.

Not that anyone at Beacon could see it as, for once, the clear and sunny skies normally present at the Academy were replaced with thick grey clouds and a light rain drizzled down.

In those early hours of the new day, Professor Ozpin was sitting in his study, a fresh cup of coffee in one hand, still wearing his green Onesie.

He had to admit, he could see why Mister Arc had brought one. They really were warm and comfy. He was glad to have gotten one on his last trip into Vale. And unlike Mister Arc, he wasn't going to let anyone find out that he had it.

Glynda would never let him hear the end of it. The woman could be as bad as Miss Xiao Long when she wanted to.

Shuddering at barely repressed bad memories of a teenage Glynda, Ozpin did what he always did in the early hours of a Saturday morning: moderate the forums on the Beacon Inter-scroll Network.

He found it amusing how everyone thought that the Head Admin of the Network, Head-0zzy, was some student having an affectionate joke at the Headmaster, as said user was the head of the forums in the same way Ozpin was head of the school. None of them suspected that it was Ozpin himself.

More than once he had considered revealing this in a school assembly just to see the reactions of the students, particularly the ruder ones who would undoubtedly go pale upon discovering they had been swearing at the Headmaster.

It was as he was doing said moderating that he noticed an update to JourneyToTheWest's personal video thread. He smiled. Mister Wukong had only been here a few weeks and he had already made life for many of Beacon's students so interesting through both his personality (for those he interacted with, such as Teams RWBY and JNPR), and his videos on a variety of topics that he uploaded onto the forums. He sometimes wished that the young Faunus was a student of Beacon.

Another thing that he wouldn't let Glynda know about.

As he clicked onto the thread, he wondered what the video would be.

Another food fight?

Team CRDL getting their backsides handed to them again? Even he had to admit that for all their talent, those four were assholes.

When the page uploaded, he found the image before him to be the last thing he had expected.

There, staring at him, was a still image, zoomed in and cropped, showing Nora Valkyrie, eyes closed, giving a deep and passionate kiss to her team leader, Jaune Arc, who looked as though his brain had stopped working.

At the bottom of the picture was the caption: I christen this ship The Blond Bomber. May it sail straight and true :)

The smiley face was most likely Mister Vasilias' contribution.

Underneath were two videos. Watching them revealed them to be Miss Valkyrie's declaration of love and a relationship with Mister Arc in the school cafeteria, and an upside-down filming of Miss Valkyrie, wearing Mister Arc's Onesie, clinging to him in their team's bedroom, and the reactions of their teammates in the doorway.

As the second video abruptly ended (it seemed that Mister Wukong had fallen from wherever he had been filming), Ozpin found his brain drawing a blank.

What

The

Grif.

Thanks to knowing a teenage Glynda's female friends, Ozpin had been infected with the deadly, incurable illness known as 'Shipping'. And whilst years of dealing with teenage students had helped him develop a patience and inner calmness as long and strong as the Great Wall of Mistral, he didn't know how to react to this.

How did this even happen? Moments later, he answered his own question. Miss Valkyrie had most likely misinterpreted some of Mister Arc's actions as romantic, and the poor boy was unable to tell her otherwise for whatever reason.

Ozpin found his Inner Shipper flaring up at the idea. It just doesn't work! Jaune was clearly meant to be with either Pyrrha or Ruby. Maybe Weiss as a long shot if she finally gave him a chance, and he proved to actually be a great boyfriend. Or Yang, annoyed at guys only wanting her for her body, dating him to groom him into her ideal man. Perhaps Blake, seeing him as a friend and defender of Faunus who would help her bring about equality for her people. Dust, even Ren was more likely to end up with Jaune via a bromance-turned-romance than Miss Valkyrie!

And what would you even call a Nora and Jaune couple? Sun's Blond Bomber? Nora's Arc? The Hammer Knight? The Blond and the Valkyrie? Nothing sounded right! And their surnames if they ever got married: Mrs Nora Arc? Mister Jaune Valkyrie? They clearly didn't work as a couple!

The full effects of Shippers' Syndrome coursing through his veins like liquid fire, Ozpin was preparing to leave a comment (which would be sensible, and grammatically correct, not something like 'WTF this will neva wurk -angryface-' like those CRDL assholes would put here), and even considering taking actual physical action to burn this ship before it could sail out beyond his reach when a stray thought crossed his mind.

Or could they work?

Ozpin stopped, suddenly feeling cooled down. This had never happened before. Usually when he got overpowered by this curse he would be trapped in an overly-dramatic rage for hours, which is why he spent much of his time alone in his study. His mind had never second-guessed himself when it came to shipping before.

So, using his new found calmness, Ozpin leaned back, took several deep breaths, and began to look at this new ship logically, devoid of emotion.

And to his surprise, he found himself warming up to the idea.

Both Miss Rose and Miss Nikos had no understanding of a romantic relationship, Ruby due to her youth and Pyrrha due to being socially isolated by her talent and fame. Miss Schnee's formal, prim, and cold manner would cause that ship to sink faster than the ill-fated Dustanic. Miss Xiao Long's boisterous and forward personality would probably unnerve the boy too much to make any real progress. Miss Belladonna and Mister Lie's quiet and few social interactions beyond the two teams would likewise see slow and little progress in the relationship department. And Mister Arc himself was so self-deprecating that it would be a miracle for any girl to form a meaningful romantic relationship with him.

Miss Valkyrie, on the other hand, had a loud, childish nature which had some elements of both Miss Rose and Miss Xiao Long, but without the ignorance or the romantic nonchalance, especially since she must have known the implications of wearing his Onesie. And Mister Arc didn't have Mister Lie's ability to control (or rather curb) the energetic young lady. Her mannerisms, actions, and ways of thinking meant that he would have to respond to her, plus she wouldn't let him fall into his self-pity and angst, and force him out of it if she found him already there.

Then there was the effect it would have on the others. Though painful, the resulting heartbreak might be good in the long run for the two redheads, making them more mindful of their feelings and more willing to act on them in future relationships, while Mister Lie would be single, available as a boyfriend to any girl, and as a quiet, respectful, and well-mannered young man in a school filled with teenage boys he would undoubtedly be a hot commodity for many a young female looking for love.

Yes…

Smiling to himself, Ozpin removed himself from the computer, and headed towards his ensuite shower, coffee in hand. Part of him still wanted to rage at the idea of these two forming a relationship, but he kept it under control, deciding that this time, he would let the ship navigate its own course across the stormy ocean of love.

All the same, it still bugged him that he couldn't think of a good ship name.

At the student dormitories in a different section of the campus, most of the students were still asleep.

Jaune Arc, as of a few minutes ago, was not one of them.

In Team JNPR's room, Pyrrha was sleeping soundly in her bed, her face a sea of calm, though she was still wearing her school uniform instead of her pyjamas.

Ren was also sleeping in his own bed, but whilst his mind was at peace, his body unconsciously shuffled and fidgeted as a response to Nora not being there.

And Nora herself?

Still wearing Jaune's Onesie, she was currently sleeping on his chest, curled up like a cat (even purring a little), her head placed in the crook of his neck, a massive smile present on her face.

Jaune groaned. This could be a problem.

After everyone had made sure that Sun was alright, to which Neptune had assured them not to worry -the only damage Sun had received was to his pride- as he carried his groaning Team Leader away, Teams RWBY and JNPR had returned to their rooms for some rest and sleep.

This had been delayed because Nora, instead of going to her bed or slipping into Ren's, had waited until Jaune had stripped down to his shirt and boxers and gotten into bed, and then slipped under the covers and cuddled up to him as though he was a teddy bear.

This had resulted in Pyrrha's face regaining an ugly expression as she picked up Nora, dumped her on her own bed, and then sat cross-armed and cross-legged at the foot of Jaune's bed, staring at Nora, clearly not letting her near Jaune.

Nora had sat on her bed and stared back, resulting in a serious staring contest, each determined to beat the other.

Jaune had sighed, turned to face the wall, and eventually drifted off to sleep.

Ren? He was out like a light the moment his head touched his pillow.

If Jaune had to guess, based on last night's events, and the fact that Pyrrha was still in her uniform, she had sat on his bed until she believed Nora to be asleep before going to her own bed. And at some point between then and now, Nora had slipped across and gotten into bed with him.

However, whilst he had slept fine until waking up a few minutes ago, his body had spent the night reacting to both the humidity of the air brought on by the thick grey clouds trapping all the heat in and Nora's Onesie covered body being pressed against his, and thus he was covered in a sticky, clammy sweat. He felt disgusting.

He really needed a shower.

He also needed to get out from under Nora without waking her or Pyrrha.

It was difficult, but by slow and methodical, he managed to slip out from Nora, and get off the bed, though it took a good 20 minutes to do so.

He held his breath.

Nora wiggled, and mumbled something he couldn't hear, but she didn't wake up.

Sighing, Jaune gathered his wash kit and a towel, and went for his much needed shower. Now he wasn't focused on Nora, he noticed how bad he smelt.

Entering the shower, he put down his wash kit and towel by the sink, and climbed into the shower. He didn't bother removing his shirt and boxers: they were stuck to him as if glued, and he was still too sleepy to fight them. He would let the water loosen them first.

Turning on the shower caused hot water to cascade down his body, bringing a pleasant sigh from his lips and relief to stiff muscles. His sweat-soaked clothes were soon loose, but he didn't bother to remove them: he was enjoying the shower.

So much so, that he almost didn't notice the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing.

It might have been better if he hadn't noticed, because then he wouldn't have turned around to look at the shower door at the exact moment that it opened.

And been greeted with the sight of-

"Jauney~"

"NOT AGAIN!"

The blond knight tried to back up, but only found the cold tiles of the shower wall as Nora climbed into the shower with him, pulling the door shut behind her, a sleepy smile on her face.

This time, perhaps having used the night's sleep to improve its firewalls, Jaune's brain didn't crash, though it still had a good go at it. "Nora!" he squeaked, his voice coming out in a much higher pitch that made him sound feminine. "What are you doing?"

Nora just kept smiling. "What do you think?" she said, getting right up against Jaune and squeezing him in another bear hug, though a softer one due to her still being half asleep. "We're going to shower together like a good couple should."

Jaune gulped, his arms held above his head to prevent Nora trapping them at his sides. Part of him wished his brain would crash again, so he would be oblivious to Nora's body pressed up against his own.

Hang on…

Though everything in his mind screamed at him not to confirm her state of clothing, or lack thereof, Jaune Arc looked down.

Over the curve of her shoulder, down her smooth unblemished back, to settle on the curve of her bare posterior.

Jaune Arc might have not been very good around women, but at the end of the day, he was still a man.

He found he couldn't stop staring as rivets of shower water trickled smoothly along her buttocks.

Eventually, one word registered in his mind.

Freckles.

Cute little freckles.

She had cute little freckles on her bottom.

Somehow that seemed perfect for Nora.

He was so mesmerised by the booty before him that he failed to notice that some of the rivets of water were red due to the blood dripping from his nostrils in his first ever beauty-induced nosebleed.

Nora was beginning to worry at how her boyfriend was so quiet. "Jauney?"

Jaune didn't answer.

She tilted her head up to look at him. Then she turned her head to see what he was looking down at.

And she began giggling as a light blush formed on her cheeks.

The cheeks on her face.

Standing on her tiptoes, she whispered into her boyfriend's ear "You like my back bumpers, Jauney?"

Years later, Jaune would still be unable to believe that his response to her question was a low, satisfied moan of pleasure.

Nora giggled again.

And that was when an awake Pyrrha opened the shower door to confirm what she suspected.

Her screech of rage ensured that no one in the student dormitories was sleeping anymore.

Typicalteenager:

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is why this fanfic is rated T.

Is it obvious that I'm a fan of Wizard of Ships by General RTS? I think it is. Shipper Ozpin kind of gave it away.

And though everyone probably knows this, Journey To The West is the Classic Chinese Literature starring Sun Wukong, the Monkey King.

Anyway, the Self-appointed Paragon of Schedule Slippage wishes to apologise for his usual lateness. Thanks to having to work the late shift (which really is late, sometimes finishing in the early hours of the next day), one week's wait became two.

Hopefully you'll think this chapter was worth the wait.

Anyway, do you have a name for the Nora x Jaune ship? Let me know: I'll try and include them at some point.

Until then: look alive, you scurvy dogs! The Nora's Arc has got an ocean of love to conquer!