First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed this story. I love writing, especially Luke and Lorelai; I love that this is something I share with one of my best friends, my beta Niamh; but most of all, I love to read what you guys think. Your reviews make me all giddy and gross and I love it! Special thanks to Nancy, who has left me many, many kind words after every single chapter. I appreciate it so.

Secondly, on to the story. It's a real sharty, but a fasty. The meaning of this chapter becomes clear in chapter 13. I hope you all remember how chapter 10 ended. If not? Feel free to read back ^^

Chapter 12: Investigation

I let myself drown in his angry kiss for a few seconds, but when I feel his tongue pass my lips, I come back to reality. My eyes pop open and I push Luke away. He stumbles backwards and looks at me wide-eyed.

"What do you think you're doing?" I ask him indignantly.

"What does it look like?" Luke grumbles.

"Go home, Luke. Think about what it is that you want," I say, my anger gone.

"I don't need to think about it," Luke says irritated.

"Fine, I don't care," I say through gritted teeth, "But it's time for you to go now."

"Forget I ever came," Luke grumbles back as he turns around and walks out of the house.

"Gladly," I call after him, before closing the door louder than I normally would.

I lean against the door for a little while, my head backwards as I take a few deep breaths. Then, I walk back into the living room with a fake smile on my face.

"Sorry about that," I tell Rory kindly as I sit back down on the couch, ready to continue the movie.

"When did you sleep with Luke?" Rory asks immediately.

"Uh…" I say a bit shocked by the question, quickly trying to recover. "Um, two years ago and the eleven years before that?" I try unconvincingly.

"Mom…" Rory says with a roll of her eyes, angling her head to look intently at me.

"What?" I ask innocently, "It's true. Your sisters are proof."

"Mom," Rory says again, letting out a loud sigh.

"Last week," I mumble under my breath, looking down at my lap.

"But you're not getting back together?" she wants to know.

"Didn't really sound like a reconciliation, did it?" I ask rhetorically.

"Well, he did kiss you," Rory tries.

"You were spying on us?!" I ask, fake hurt.

"Not spying, only eavesdropping," Rory says with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Well, alright then," I chuckle.

"So? Are you?" Rory pushes.

"Am I what?"

"Mom! Are you and Luke getting back together?" she asks again.

"You don't give up, do you?"

"I am my mother's daughter."

I roll my eyes. "No, we're not getting back together. He made it clear to me there's no hope."

"But… Then why did he come here?"

"Because he likes yelling at me?" I joke.

"Mom…" Rory says in a stern voice.

"I don't know, okay. I don't think he knows what exactly he wants, but I'm not holding onto hope anymore. He said it's really over, so it's over. I am moving on. I'm done waiting. I'm done hoping. I've been hurting enough. It stops now."

I am lying in bed under the covers at broad daylight, like I have been for hours. My face is tear stained. You would think you'd run out at some point, but the tears keep coming.

Rory comes running into the room in a panic. She immediately drops down on what used to be Luke's side of the bed. "Mom? What happened?" she asks me, Sookie no doubt tipped her off.

"Luke," I choke.

"What Luke?" she asks me confusedly.

"He's gone. He hates me. I blew it. I blew everything," I say as a way of an explanation.

"I don't understand. What happened?"

"I shouldn't have gone to Christopher."

"Dad? What did he do?" Rory asks a bit hysterical.

"I never should have gone there. I was an idiot," is all I say. I don't want Rory to know I slept with her dad, although I'm pretty sure it's obvious to her.

"Try to sit up," she commands.

I don't listen and I continue in a choked voice, "I pushed him."

"Who? Luke?"

"Yes. I pushed him and it ruined everything. And now they're putting up ribbons."

"Ribbons? Who?" Rory tries to understand.

"Taylor, the town. They hate me. They all hate me. I wrecked everything."

"Mom. This isn't good. Come on. Try to sit up." I hear the concern in her voice, but I stay in the same position.

"He said he wanted time to think, but I pushed him," I say as I wipe away a tear.

"He'll come around."

"I pushed him, and now he's gone."

"You're married. You have kids. He's not just going to walk away," she reasons, trying to make me feel better.

"It's over," I conclude and I know I'm right.

"Mom, this isn't you. Lying in bed like this. You should be up."

"You should go to school. Go back to school."

"I'm here," Rory says firmly, "I'm staying."

"God, I really screwed up this time," I cry, rubbing my eyes.

"Ssh," Rory tries to sooth me.

"He was the one."

"He'll come around," Rory concludes. She brushes her hand over my hair. "Ssh," she continues softly as if she's the mother. "Try to sleep," she tells me and I obey.

"That's sad," Rory says with a pout.

"Nah," I tell Rory, "I'm a new Lorelai; refreshed. I'll see what life brings."

"But, giving up on Luke now seems stupid."

"Why?" I ask with a laugh.

"Because," Rory says as if it's very clear. I raise my eyebrows at her and she continues, "You're obviously closer together than you have been the past two years. Physically," she adds awkwardly, and I smirk at her slightly pink cheeks.

"We're not closer. It's more like a final goodbye," I state awkwardly

"Come on, Mom. He came here yelling at you because he was jealous, thinking you were dating someone."

I smirk. "He came here to fight, because we haven't done that enough the past few years."

"He cares for you," Rory tries to convince me.

"And I care for him, but it doesn't mean anything. We just share a history."

"God, you're stubborn. Both of you," she says with a roll of her eyes.

"Look Rory. Luke told me he still loves me, okay? He told me he has forgiven me—"

"That's great! You can get back together again!" Rory cuts me off.

"But," I continue, putting emphasis to show her there is a 'however' to the situation, "he also told me he cannot trust me in a relationship again."

"Oh," Rory says sadly, thinking deeply. "Isn't there a way for him to trust you again?"

"I don't know, sweets," I say, rubbing her arm soothingly. "I do know this though…"

"What? What is it?" Rory asks eagerly.

"I already got the best parts of him; they're sleeping upstairs."

Rory pouts at me once more before I turn the movie back on that Rory had paused for me.

Thank you for reading. Leave a review if you feel like it ;).