And all of the noise I hear inside

restless and loud, unspoken and wild

and all that you need to say

to make it all go away

is that you feel the same way too

the words by christina perri

"Ruby I swear to god if you tell Regina I'm rooming with Killian, I'm going to shout that you two had the loudest sex the other night," she hisses at her, pointing her finger at Ruby. "And when Emma Swan promises something like that, it's going to be done in the end."

"Sorry, Emma, but it's big news! You two have been good friends for three years, and there's some serious tension between the two of you," Ruby claims, sipping on her drink. "It's not like you're dating him… right?"

"Exactly, I'm not dating him, so why bother telling her? You know it's going to be a total mess of matchmaking and shit that I'm not going to be willing to put up with," Emma protests, giving her stand point on the entire thing.

"Emma," Ruby whines, "I'm telling you now that Killian likes you more than a friend."

"So I've been told like ten times already," she mutters in response, throwing her cup in the trash. "Stop it, dude. I'm seriously not going to talk about Killian like this." She sighs, stretching her legs out. "If he wants to talk about it, he can do it on his own pace. He did ask me out the other day, but I told him no."

"What? Why?"

"Ruby, I told you. I'm not looking for a boyfriend, let alone date someone at all. Everything's still a fresh as a new cut," she tells her.

Ruby kicks her foot. "You know he's different from your ex's."

"I know, but that's the thing. I can't risk being wrong about him."

"But if you never risk it, how are you ever going to find out?" Valid point. "Give him a chance. If it doesn't work out, you two can still remain friends. I mean, your current friendship is like… flawless. A simple opportunity like this can't be skipped out on.

"He's been there when you and Walsh broke it, he was the one who insisted on taking you out to take your mind off of him. He's been there to just piss you off because he finds it funny, and secretly you do too. He's been there when you didn't know what to do for art, or when you needed a second opinion or criticism from someone majoring in a similar field. He's been there when you needed someone the most. How can you not just let him try? That is if he does like you.

"Look, I know you might think it's crazy, but it's worth the shot, Emma. Think about it. It's time for you to try."

Everything Ruby said is true, and it's nagging her even more because it is the truth. Everything. From beginning to end, it's always been him somehow, and she's never really tried thinking about it from a different perspective. "Fine, I'll consider it," she mutters, grabbing her bag and slinging it around her shoulder. "I gotta go. I need to work on my project." With Killian. "See you later."

Quickly, she rushes out without getting to hear her say goodbye. Now, it's just really pissing her off because the truth is there in front of her, but being her stubborn little self, she's refusing to believe it, nor give him the chance. To be quite honest, it's going to take her awhile to develop these feelings that are clearly beneath that layer of discarded relationships status. She's been disengaged with the total thing, but when she's seen MM and David together, she wonders about how they do it.

To think her life couldn't get any worse, she catches a glance of a familiar car parked. Her first reaction? Run- run far. But she can't bail on Killian, because he's waiting for her most likely, and she's not going to be punctual now if that car is exactly who she thinks it is. Fumbling with her phone, she dials Killian immediately.

"Swan?"

She grumbles, "Help me."

"What's wrong?"

"If i'm not incorrect, Walsh's car is outside and I'm not going in there if he's looking for me." She sighs. "Check the hallway for me, please."

She can listen to him open the door. "He's approaching," he mumbles.

"Please get out of there and find me, I'm by the fountain. I have one plan in mind," she says quickly, not having enough time to think. Fake dating. It's the only thing that's sure to fend Walsh off for now.

"I'm on my way," he claims. "I'll find you in a bit, love. Don't worry."

"Thanks."

"Keep talking, I need to seem as if I'm too busy to talk to him, otherwise he'll ask me about you."

"Okay, uh. How's your project coming along? I haven't actually seen your work in progress yet," she says, trying to stall time, tapping her foot impatiently. "Let me guess, are you done it?"

He laughs. "Aye. I finished earlier today, and I'll be honoured to show you it afterwards."

"Sounds great."

"Okay, I'm out."

From that, she glances up from the floor, her eyes locking with Killian's immediately. He hangs up, and so does she. He's pacing forward quickly though, his hands stuffed in his leather jacket pockets.

"I can't believe it," she mutters, watching him take his seat next to her. "Why?"

"He came bearing gifts, Swan," he notifies her, "or something of the sorts. He did not come empty handed, and I was lucky he didn't backtrack and notice me. He probably wants to make it up to you somehow, ridiculous bloody git he is."

"Shit, I forgot he's seen you before." Another issue to be wary of, fan-fucking-tastic, right? "Murder me now and let me forget everything that's happening," she complains, letting her head drop into her hands.

"Aw, Swan, you said you had a plan earlier. What was it?"

"Well I can't camp out here forever, and the only thing he'd believe is… uh, fake dating," she comments, her voice going soft at the end.

He shrugs casually. "So be it. We know each other well enough, it should be no difficult task to act on."

"Are you sure?"

Killian nods, beaming a smile. "Aye. I am."

"Okay." She puffs out a breath of relief. But by no means is she ready for this herself. "Let's establish minor details then. When did we start?"

"Three weeks ago. I confessed I liked you, and that you were quite the stubborn woman you were and tried ignoring me, but you caved after my endless attempts."

She groans. "Well thanks for putting me on the spot."

"Sorry, but it sounds reasonable to say, doesn't it, lass?" he questions,

"You're right. I'm stubborn, and that would probably happen honestly." She watches some people pass by them, and it temporarily distracts her for a second. "Anyways, PDA?"

"I promise I won't do anything dumb, Swan. Not without your consent of course," he promises her. "Now, let's go kick that man out."

"You make it sound easy."

He hums. "Because it will be." With that, he pulls her by the hand, interlacing their fingers, and when she glares at him, he just winks, with that sort of assurance that warms her.

She doesn't completely shut out the feeling flooding her entire body- the quickened pace of her heart thumping upon her chest, or the exhilarating blood going through her veins. Walsh was- is- a douche, and now she's going to prove to him that she's perfectly fine without him, even if it means having to play a game with him. A game she's been hesitant on the moment she thought of it, but she trusts him. Killian. She can trust him.

The entire time they walk hand in hand, it's a smile she can't keep away, a fight she can't win, a war she can't be victorious in. But, the closer they get to their dorms, the more she starts to freak out inside, and Killian must notice her being tense because he squeezes her hand gently, and whispers, "It'll be fine" to her. It helps. A little.

And dear god if Ruby noticed them walking with their hands together, she's going to get an earful about it. Perhaps not telling Ruby, or just completely ignoring the idea of even thinking about Walsh, had been a bad idea from the start, just like Killian said. Ruby's always been on the fuck-off-Walsh club, so if she were to tell her any time soon, it would mean her yelling and screaming nonsense at her. Now that is not something she wants to experience.

"I can't promise I won't punch him in the face for hurting you," Killian whispers in her ear.

It makes her chuckle and shake her head. "I won't stop you. But if you get suspended or expelled, that is not my fault," she responds.

And then when they start to approach the very obvious figure in front of her dorm, she starts to internally panic in all sorts of ways. Her head pounds, she feels like she's going to sweat, and she blinks.

"Emma." He stops for a second. "Relax."

The lack of using the pet names makes her calmer, to know he's going to take it seriously and will help her no matter what. "Okay." She nods. "Okay."

"Em- Who's this?" Walsh asks, approaching the two of them.

"My boyfriend. I'm sure you remember him, Walsh, you've met him once or twice I think," she explains, keeping her voice as stable as possible.

"Interesting," he responds quietly. "He is familiar."

"Yes, because he's the one guy who has never let me down before," she retorts, her fingers tightening around Killian's hand. "What're you doing here?"

"You never answered your phone, so I thought I'd drop by," he answers. "I-uh, didn't know you were dating someone else. I was thinking we could sort of fix what we had."

She scoffs. "Fix it? Walsh, you put me down like I was nothing. I told you quite clearly that we weren't going to ever work, so why in the world did you think coming back, with… whatever you're holding, is going to get me back?" She's almost yelling now, really close to it, and she doesn't want to cause an entire scene. "Rekindling anything between us is false and unrealistic, I'm sorry to say that, but we're really over, and I'm happier with Killian than I am with you. Let alone returning a year later, asshole."

"Asshole? I was trying, Emma! I thought we were happy." he exclaims.

"Mate, I wield an iron fist, and from what I know, which is quite about everything, I suggest you sod off," Killian interjects, his words probably sting Walsh. "She wasn't satisfied with you, and things have been long done between you two already. She's mine now, and I intend to treat her much better than how you did."

She wants to run. He thought they were happy? In some ways, yes, but it never lasted long enough to mean anything to her anymore.

"Yeah, well good luck with that. As you can tell, she's not an easy person to love," Walsh retorts, his eyes full of anger.

She's going to throw a real tantrum now. "Fuck you, Walsh," she hisses angrily at him. "Fuck you and your lies, everything you've done. Every scar you've put on me, every doubt I've had about myself, every insult you've accused me with. I trusted you, you knew about what I had with Neal too, how I was still as broken as an old record, but I guess it was all too good to be true."

"Emma-"

She raises her available hand up. "Don't. Just go, please. I don't want to discuss this, especially in front of Killian, he doesn't deserve to see all this go down," she tells him, trying to keep her cool. "And don't call, or text, or even leave a message, because none of those will get to me," she mutters, pulling herself and Killian into his dorm.

For the next few minutes, she just sits quietly on the edge of the bed, trying to take in everything that just happened. Her head is throbbing, mainly from her almost losing her complete temper in the middle of the hallway where probably 10 people were watching, or even just listening through their doors. How the hell did he even get on campus? That's something she's not going to think about, not while she's irritated and annoyed.

Killian sits next to her, his hand rubbing up and down her back. When he asks if she's alright, she just nods, even though she's not okay. She never asked to confront his ex, and although Neal was the first one to ever betray her in the worst possible ways, he at least kept away unlike Walsh. God, his name makes her want to vomit and rage.

She doesn't move from the bed for the next hour. She's 23, she can't even deal with her own relationship issues without the pain surfacing again. She just stares up at the ceiling, hoping that everything will just go away already, but it's not, it's there to stay, and she sighs in defeat, knowing she's just going to have to endure it again. "And I have faith that you can overcome your pain" repeats over and over in her brain, the only sentence that's keeping her from not breaking down. She's stronger than this, she knows better than to let a little encounter ruin her.

And in another change of events, she needs to start working on her painting otherwise she's never going to get it done. She keeps herself isolated however, only going out for her classes, returning straight after, or heading to the diner to get a drink. She's becoming far more distant, silent, and unaware of how she's acting, but she does notice the way Killian smiles a lot more sadly, asks her if she's really okay, and how he always greets her.

The tingling and lingering feeling of Killian's hand in hers still remains, but she refuses to acknowledge it. Ruby questions, like a lot and when she finally tells her what happened, she sighs and shakes her head and asks why she didn't tell her in the first place. But, like any other reason, she just says she couldn't and that it was just something stupid to forget.

But, she doesn't forget about it. It's there in her nightmares, it's there when she's trying to paint, it's there whenever she sees Killian look at her with so much concern and worry.

However, one night he gets tired of all this, stepping around eggshells kind of thing. She's tired of it too, but she just doesn't know what to say herself.

She's laying in bed with her arms propped behind her head when he sits down on the edge, cocking his head like a adorable little animal of the sorts. "What?"

"I'm tired of this, love. You've let this… consuming feeling take over you, and I don't like it one bit," he honestly says, his hand brushing over her side as he adjusts his position. "Stop thinking about him, stop thinking about what he's done, or whatever has happened and haunted you from your past. You have stuff to do, Swan, things out there waiting for you, things to accomplish successfully, and this," he waves around his hand, "whatever it is, will not help."

She huffs out a breath, knowing he's well beyond right. "I know," she mumbles, closing her eyes. "I'm trying." She cracks her eyes open to meet his blue ones, staring right down at her.

He smiles and leans down, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Well, keep doing that, love. I forgot to tell you that I'm going out tonight with Robin, Will, and David."

"Go have fun, I can take care of myself." She tries to ignore what he just did. But she can't.

"Are you sure? I can postpone my pl-"

She shakes her head. "Don't. Do not do that just for me. You deserve to be with your friends, well, guy friends."

"Okay." He sighs and gets up, grabbing his phone and sticking it in his pocket. "Well, call me if you need anything, love."

Emma nods, giving him a weak little smile before responding with, "I will."

"See you later tonight."

"Have fun," she mumbles right when he leaves.

Honestly, she wanted him to leave because she wants time to herself now. Just alone. Without anybody. Even though it's nice having Killian, having people who care for her, she's still the person who likes being secluded from the rest, being quiet and alone, admiring the peace and loneliness she's grown used to over the long years.

Except this alone time, well, it's making her think even more. These feelings, somewhere deep down, are all coming out because of Killian, and she's still frightened by the thought. So, per usual, she runs from the emotions, she runs from thinking it would ever work between them, she runs from thinking of ever having a 'thing' together.

"He's been there when you needed someone the most."

She hates it when her friends are right.

"You have stuff to do, Swan, things out there waiting for you, things to accomplish successfully."

She hates it when Killian's right- ridiculously right.

When a huff of a breath, giving up on the entire idea of liking Killian, or ever making a move on her, she leans out of bed and turns the light off, letting herself drift to sleep. At least for once, once within the past four days, she'll be able to get some sleep which is not consisted of Walsh returning and doing something unforgivable for like, the tenth or twentieth time or whatever.

Now, being the orphan she is, who used to run and run, it always meant being quite alert of her surroundings, which means waking up to the slightest sounds or movement. Which really does suck, because this means anything can wake her up, and she likes to get her sleep. Though she eventually doesn't get her sleep, because thanks to the fact she's a light sleeper. Her initial reaction? Pull the covers up and roll onto her side. Except now, she can't find a good position and she's trying her hardest to get the sleep she wants, but she can't.

And she can't go out. Against the rules.

So, she flips the covers off of herself, swinging her feet down. With a silent yawn, she checks the time on her phone. 2:49 AM. The bright screen blinds her, so she quickly turns it off and sets it aside.

Glancing across the room, Killian's fast asleep, his back turned to her. She sighs and wonders if she'll ever be able to open up again. "She's mine now, and I intend to treat her much better than how you did." He's been treating her in the best ways since they first met. The words continue to echo in her mind, and they're loud, they're wild, they're real, and they're making her go insane.

"Excuse my manners, but we haven't been formally introduced," he says, smiling. "Killian Jones."

She curtly nods. "Emma Swan."

"You're an art major, if I'm not mistaken. I've seen you around here," he tells her.

"I am. And you?"

"Architectural path," he answers, lifting his sketchbook up. "You have some good work. I've seen it on display in the class," Killian speaks, smiling as he does, "you have lots of potential, love."

"And I've seen your designs too." She knows better than to be talking with someone when she's on a tight schedule, but she's talking to a really hot guy, and time can be made for that. "You have some crazy good stuff as well," she compliments, checking her watch. "Crap, I need to go back to my dorm."

"Wait, what house are you in?"

"Delta. Why?"

"I think we can walk back together then," he offers, smirking. "We're in the same building."

"Oh, uhm, sure I guess."

And look at that, their rooms are right next to each other. Except, she's still nervous about befriending Killian Jones, just slightly.

It's merely an impossible thing to avoid now. She does like him. Far more than a friend.

"Swan? Why in the devil's hell are you up?" he grumbles, sitting up in bed.