"I'm sorry, Eva, but the teams have been set. You've already been given the chance to choose your group and you've made your choice."
"But the whole point was to be partnered with Cecilia! Can't I just switch with Gertrude, and she can partner with Neil instead?" Eva pleaded.
"If I allowed that, everyone else will want to switch with whomever they pleased, and that'll defeat the purpose of randomized groups."
Eva slumped a little in her chair. Mrs. Feinberg gave Eva a pitying look from across her messy desk.
"Believe me, Eva, you're not the only one unhappy with their partner assignment. But you know, the heart of creativity is thinking of novel solutions to obstacles, such as working with incompatible partners. I assure you, this won't be the last time in your life you'll have to deal with this."
Eva never understood the notion of deliberately making life hard to prepare oneself for a hard life. But she didn't come here to argue about that.
"Besides," continued Mrs. Feinberg, shuffling her papers as if wrapping up the conversation. "You play baritone sax, correct?"
"...Yes."
"Neil plays tenor sax, and he's actually quite advanced, even for this class. He had tested out of Beginner and Intermediate Music, after all. You're also quite talented yourself, Eva. Between the two of you, I think you can come up with something you'll both take great pride in."
This was going nowhere. Eva stood up. "Well...Thank you for your time, Mrs. Feinberg. I appreciate your advice."
She swiftly left the stuffy office before Mrs. Feinberg said another word. Just outside the office door, however-
"Oh! Eva..."
It was Cecilia. Eva strode past her, with barely a pause. "Sorry, Cecilia, I need to get to the student council meeting."
"...Are you still mad at me?"
Eva kept walking.
"Oh, Eva. Don't be so petty. I wasn't trying to screw you over or ditch you."
Eva whipped around. "I'm just going to a freaking meeting, okay? Not everything is about you!"
Eva immediately regretted it. Cecilia looked like she had been slapped in the face.
"Look, Cecilia, I - "
Cecilia hurried off down the hall in the other direction.
Nothing like starting the school year off on the right foot...
Eva and Cecilia spent the next day in icy silence. During their lunch break, Eva, rather than sit alone at the picnic tables like a loser, decided to bring her lunch to her next class - Advanced English Literature. Mr. Brandt usually left his door open during break periods.
Today, however, not only did Eva find the door closed, but there was already someone having lunch beside it.
Neil Watts sat cross-legged on the ground, hunched over a comic book. A lunchbox featuring a faded Batman and Robin laid open beside him, revealing the torn-off crust of a sandwich.
"Hey, Neil," said Eva, tentatively.
Neil barely spared her a glance. "Hey...you."
"It's Eva."
"Okay."
Eva was not in the mood for yet another altercation. "Mr. Brandt's not here?"
"Obviously."
"Mind if I join you?"
Neil didn't say anything. Eva didn't know if her bad day just made her paranoid, but she thought she heard him groan under his breath.
Eva sat down opposite him, and pulled out her homemade pasta salad.
"So whatcha reading there?" asked Eva.
"Look, does anyone actually enjoy small talk? 'Cause I sure don't," grumbled Neil.
"Okayyy...Can we talk about our duet project, then?"
"I play melody. You play accompaniment. We'll meet after school on Tuesdays to practice, and we'll decide a song later. Anything else?"
Eva blinked. "Umm, I actually have tennis practice on Tuesdays."
"Fine. Wednesdays. Any objections?"
"I have student government on Wednesdays."
"God, why does the world hate me? FINE. Thursdays?"
"...Thursdays work."
"Good. Then it's settled." Neil promptly returned to his comic book.
Eva sat there stupefied before returning to her pasta salad. How the blazing hell did Cecilia end up dating this prick? She's been dying to ask since that day in music class, but neither Cecilia nor Neil seemed particularly eager to speak to her about anything.
C'mon, Eva, don't bring yourself down again, she thought. It's like what her older sister, Traci, always said: When people give you crap, there's no sweeter vindication than giving them kindness in return.
She's going to make things right with Cecilia. She's going to make every effort to befriend Neil. And if they don't like it — well, they can go fuck themselves, 'cause she was going to be kind and friendly to them anyway!
Filled with this newfound, burning resolve, she boldly broached another conversation.
"So Neil, I heard wonderful things about your saxophone playing. Mrs. Feinberg said you're exceptionally talented."
Neil spared her a glance over the top of his comic book. "When did she say that?"
"I...just ran into her on the way here, and we chatted for a moment," Eva said as cheerfully as she could. God, she had to be the world's most transparent liar.
Neil returned to his comic book. "You and your small talk."
"Oh, hi there, you two! Didn't mean to leave you out in the cold! Sorry about that," came an affable voice. Mr. Brandt had returned - Eva's saving grace.
Eva swiftly gathered up her things to follow Mr. Brandt into the classroom. Well, she survived this time. Sometimes - just sometimes — the world throws you a bone.
Neil remained sitting outside until the bell rang.
Thursday rolled around. Eva waited for Neil on a bench in the main quad with her saxophone case sitting beside her. The bell had rung almost ten minutes ago. Where was he? Other than the few students milling about here and there, the quad looked deserted.
Eva heard a gaggle of people approaching from behind. She turned, and stupidly crouched on reflex, despite sitting smack dab in plain view with zero cover.
There was Cecilia, chatting animatedly with her group of friends, most of whom Eva barely knew. Eva teetered on the edge of calling out to her, when-
"Ceci!"
Neil came bounding out of nowhere, trying to catch up with Cecilia's group as fast as his bulging backpack and heavy saxophone case would allow.
A raucous "Awwww!" erupted from Cecilia's friends, followed by barely suppressed snickering. Cecilia looked like she wanted to punch something. She motioned to the group to move along without her. They moseyed onward, leaving Neil to catch up to Cecilia.
Neil set down his saxophone case, and doubled over, catching his breath.
Neither of them seem to have spotted Eva yet, and she wondered whether she should join them, call out to them, or hide.
"Neil," said Cecilia, exasperated. "I thought I told you not to — "
"Movies...Saturday...Date?" panted Neil.
"I...have a lot of homework this weekend, Neil. I can't."
Neil looked up at her. "On the...first week of the semester?"
"Well...I just — "
Neil waved it off. "You know what, it's fine. No worries. I'll catch you some other time, yeah?"
Neil grabbed his saxophone case and lumbered his way to Eva. Eva finally caught Cecilia's eye, and gave a tentative smile and wave. Cecilia stared back, and half-heartedly waved before turning to follow her friends.
"Tough luck, huh?" Eva sympathized.
"Hey, for your information..." Neil scanned the quad to make sure Cecilia was out of ear shot. He hissed, "For your information, Ceci and I have gone out. Twice."
"I wasn't doubting that," said Eva.
"We've got something truly meaningful goin' on — just her and me."
"Again, not doubting that."
"She and I have so much in common, it's ridonkulous!"
"Mmm...I don't know about that..."
"Hey, this is none of your business, okay?" Neil snapped. With a groan, he unshouldered his backpack, and plopped down on the bench next to Eva.
"She's my friend too, you know," Eva huffed.
"That's news to me. She never mentioned you."
...Ouch. "But we have been friends for two years," Eva parried. "Just because she's never mentioned it to you, doesn't mean it's not true. Besides, she never told me about you either."
"That's because she's embarrassed to be associated with me, let alone date me," said Neil, matter-of-factly.
A heavy pause.
"What makes you think that she's - ?" said Eva, but hesitated. That's a dumb question, really, and the withering look on Neil's face confirmed it.
"I mean, she went out with you regardless, right?" recovered Eva.
"Is that supposed to be good enough for me? What about you? Does your friendship with Cecilia make complete sense to you? Or do you muddle through with some blind faith that you're just as important to her as she is to you?"
Eva watched a leaf skitter across the ground.
"I don't think I'd be okay with not knowing whether I matter to her or not..." she mused. "But that has more to do with my own issues, not Cecilia's."
Neil stared at Eva, his face unreadable.
He sighed, "Look, can we...just get to practicing please?"
"...Alright."
He stooped down to undo the latch of his saxophone case and revealed a gleaming beauty nestled in its velvet lining.
Eva opened up her case. Her saxophone wasn't quite as polished and pretty as Neil's. He scrutinized her saxophone, and she stared back almost defiantly.
"Baritone, huh?" he said.
"Yup. That's a beautiful tenor you've got."
"This here's Old Rusty," boasted Neil. "My grandpa gave it to me for my twelfth birthday."
"Rusty? I could see my reflection in it!"
"It's a misnomer, butthead. You really are deaf to irony, aren't you?"
Eva wondered if she would ever have a conversation with Neil without feeling like she was losing some contest.
"Let's just play, all right?" she said, pulling out the song list from her backpack.
"What're you pullin' that out for? I told you already. I ain't touching any of those songs."
"But...Mrs. Feinberg told us — "
"That old bat just wants us to arrange something and perform it. D'you really think she'll dock us if we play something that's not on her stupid list, as long as we do it well?"
"Umm...Yes, actually."
"Well, then let's show her up! Shake things up a bit."
"Neil, I really don't want to — "
Neil blew a lively, jazzy tune from his sax. Eva sat stock still. He was good. Really good. He played with an infectious gusto that flowed into his music, like a cup overflowing into a saucer. She thoroughly wished admiration didn't have to come with that sting of self-inadequacy.
Neil finished his song, and shrugged with a conceited grin. "Just a little something I made up on the spot. Nothing amazing. They don't call me Flippant Fingers for nothing!"
"Who's 'they'?"
"Me. And now you."
"...First off, no. Second, wouldn't you mean 'we'?"
"Fine. We don't call me Flippant Fingers for nothing!"
Eva couldn't help but laugh. "Careful. That kind of stupid might give people aneurysms."
Eva picked up her sax, determined to do herself justice. She browsed her repertoire in her head — her arsenal — for her best song.
She launched into a soulful, bluesy melody, blocking out Neil, her thoughts, and everything else, until it was just her and her song.
Ahh, yes — to be back in her element again! With all the things she's screwed up over the past week, it felt amazing to regain some kind of groove — some semblance of competence! She savored every note of this moment until the very end. She tried gauging Neil's response, but his stupid reflective glasses made his expression hard to read.
"Meh, that's bearable, I guess. But let's see if you can top this!" challenged Neil.
He blew out another, slower tune, cramming in ridiculous, unnecessary musical runs and embellishments in every measure. Underneath his over-the-top theatrics, Eva heard a melody she recognized.
Moon River.
Not to be outdone, Eva jumped into the song, throwing down every bit of musical acrobatics she knew. Their resulting song, of course, was chaotic, improvised, and out of sync several times. (Neil tried changing keys on Eva, but she kept up without missing a beat.) Yet, somewhere in all that mess, they maintained a kind of dysfunctional harmony throughout the entire song. It worked — obviously not in a way that would qualify it for Mrs. Feinberg's assignment, but for right now, it didn't matter. Eva had never felt so deliciously pretentious as a musician — and it was fun!
They exchanged musical jabs back and forth until the sun went down, and they had to return home. The song list was all but forgotten in Eva's backpack.
For most students, Saturday couldn't come soon enough. The first week of the school year always felt like the longest to Eva, since it was always jam-packed with new experiences and new faces.
Eva approached this Saturday, however, with a pit of anxiety in her stomach.
She sat at one of the chess tables in the sprawling park near school. It was a sunny, cool September afternoon. Eva watched as people walked their dogs and joggers huffed past.
Eva checked her phone. Cecilia was late, but Eva worried more about what they would discuss once she arrived — not to mention the ramifications of their meeting up at all.
"Wait, let me get this straight," Eva had said the other day. "You turned down a date with Neil on Saturday, so that you could meet with me?"
"Look, I know this sounds messed up — " said Cecilia.
"It is messed up!"
" — But this just happens to be a more pressing issue, okay? Just...bear with me."
That was Friday. Eva had to admit, she was dying to ask Cecilia a thing or two about what's been going on, and why this had to be kept a secret until now. On the other hand, Eva wished it didn't have to come at Neil's expense. She couldn't pinpoint why exactly, but she felt sorry for the guy. He's more dependent on Cecilia than he'll ever let on.
"Hey," came a voice.
"Cecilia," said Eva, turning to see her friend.
"Eva, before you say anything else, there's just something I gotta get off my chest," said Cecilia.
"Okay."
"I think you owe me an apology."
"...What?"
"That day, outside of Mrs. Feinberg's office...You brushed me off, and snapped at me, remember?"
Eva was taken aback. "After I was accused of being petty."
"And I regret saying that. You're not a petty person, Eva. In fact, you're one of the kindest, most caring people I know. But still, I don't think I deserve getting treated like a nuisance, do you?"
Eva felt as though a pin was lodging itself into her chest.
"Of course not..." mumbled Eva. "I'm sorry, Cecilia." Best not to bring up the fact that Cecilia treats Neil like a nuisance all the time.
"Good." Cecilia sat down across from Eva at the chess table. "So...what's it like working with Neil?"
"He's...quite the character, all right," said Eva, grateful for the change in subject. "I can't make heads nor tails of what he's about, but..."
She remembered her conversation with Neil during their first saxophone practice.
"How did you two end up together anyway?" Eva asked.
Cecilia gave a small laugh. "I thought you'd ask that. We were in math class together in summer school. He always sat by himself at the back of the classroom — never talked to anyone. One day, I just decided to spend lunch with him. We got to talking. I told him a lot of personal stuff about myself, and I think that got him to open up a bit. Trust me, it was like pulling teeth, but he did eventually open up. Then from there, we just kinda bonded. We've been through pretty similar hardships; we both have absentee fathers, for instance. At least I have my stepdad and he has his grandfather. Still, I get the sense that he doesn't have a lot of people to relate to. And then, I don't know, he just asked me out one day."
"What made you say yes?"
"I guess...I just felt bad for him. He looked like he needed company. And I can't turn down someone in need."
"But what about you? What do you get out of it?"
Cecilia gazed thoughtfully at the geese waddling about on the lawn nearby.
"Are you even attracted to him?" Eva asked tentatively.
Cecilia shrugged. "Not really, no."
"Oh..." Eva didn't know what to make of that information.
"Neil just needs someone to get along with, and I happen to be someone who fits the bill. If you're asking what I get out of it, I'd have to say...gratification in being friends with a less fortunate person."
"If it's so gratifying, why do you push him away?" Eva gripped the edge of her chair. Has she gone too far?
"Eva, have you ever been relentlessly teased about a guy liking you?"
"...No."
"Well, I've had to deal with that ever since my friends found out Neil and I were dating. They're not malicious people, but...all that teasing still gets to me. And I don't know, I guess I take my frustrations out on Neil. It's not right, but that's what ends up happening."
"You make it sound like it's unavoidable."
Cecilia waved it off. "Yeah, well, I'll grin and bear it. I don't know what kind of mess Neil will turn into if I dump him."
Eva frowned. "I don't know...I mean, that's admirable to be his friend and all. I just feel like he'd appreciate a relationship built on a more solid foundation than pity."
"What does it matter? A friendship's a friendship, isn't it?"
Eva stared at Cecilia, doubtful.
"Besides," said Cecilia. "Why do you think my friends hang out with me in the first place?"
Eva pursed her lips. She would rather go on a date with Neil herself, than give Cecilia her honest answer.
"It's because I'm a wonderful human being," said Cecilia. "I understand my friends in a way that not a lot of others do. I give compassion and empathy to those who don't get a lot of it in their daily lives. I can pinpoint exactly what someone needs and give it to them. And I take great pride in being that person."
Cecilia stared at Eva with that hard glint in her eyes. "I hope you're not implying there's something wrong with that," said Cecilia.
Eva felt another stab in her chest. How is this fair?!
"So how's that homework coming along, Ceci?" said a voice behind Eva.
It was Neil.
Eva shut her eyes. What else, God? What else?
"Oh, Neil," said Cecilia, a little too cheerfully. "What're you doing here?"
"I live here," Neil said shortly.
"Here in the park?" asked Eva.
"No, you idiot. You see those houses over there?" He pointed toward the townhouses bordering the park beyond a set of wrought iron gates. "I live there."
"Oh. Pretty neighborhood..." Eva trailed off.
Neil stared hard at Cecilia.
"Look, Neil, I can explain," said Cecilia.
Neil shrugged, and pulled out his wallet. "No explanation needed. Since you'd rather shun me for a week, and then spend the weekend with your gal pal, why don't you go see a movie together?"
He slapped two movie tickets onto the chess table between them.
"And while you're at it, why don't you guys grab a pizza?"
He threw down a two-for-one coupon for Frankie's Pizzeria.
"Take 'em," said Neil. "I won't need them anymore."
"Neil - " said Cecilia.
"No, really! It's fine! Please, carry on with your day, and forget that I ever waltzed so inconveniently into it!"
Neil marched away without another word.
Cecilia shook her head. "Don't mind him. He's prone to being a drama queen."
Eva stared down glassy-eyed at the chessboard, and didn't respond.
From: rhona_feinberg
To: EvaRosalene
Subject: Duet group
Hello Eva,
I recently had a talk with Neil, and it's come to my attention that the two of you haven't been productive for the past week. He has also mentioned some sort of conflict that makes it exceedingly difficult for the two of you to work together.
With the deadline approaching, I am forced to reconsider my words to you regarding incompatible partners. I want the both of you to do your best work, and so I am making a judgement call.
Thus, starting today, you will be paired up with Cecilia as you had earlier requested. Neil will be paired with Gertrude. I hope everyone can now work productively with less stress.
Sincerely,
Rhona Feinberg
To be continued...