Title: "You are my Magic, You are my Light"
Summary: "It's okay not to be motivated," he says quietly, his face still pointed at the ceiling. He seems far away, as though thinking back to a different time. "Sometimes you just have to be interested, and then slowly your motivation builds itself up."
Beta'd by: Toratsuin/theanimetrashqueen and Sky Veneziano!
Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul nor do I own any of the characters. I don't own Fairy Tail, either.
Chapter: "Bittersweet"
Kaneki worries up until they walk out of the building, and only when he feels Hide's hands warm up against his back does he breathe easily.
The cool night air bites at Hide's limbs. The exposed skin of his arms and calves feel cold, and momentarily he misses the heat of Tyche. He lets out a long breath through his nose, turning from his back onto his side to stare at the golden city, as bright in the late evening as it was during the day. Instead of focusing on the lights Hide turns onto his opposite side, greeted by the dark shadows of the night.
He blinks his eyes three times, adjusting to the blackness. His gaze lands on the face of Kaneki, who lays across from him. Kaneki's eyes are screwed closed, and his eyebrows are pressed together in thought, his nose scrunched up. His lips are pressed into a firm line, looking dry and chapped. Hide smiles sheepishly at the sight, letting a quiet, content sigh escape him.
He shifts onto his back, using his left arm as a pillow. He scans the dark sky, shaded clouds drifting peacefully in the sea of stars, gaze settling on the silver crescent moon. Hide lifts his right arm up, reaching his hand up towards the ink-colored sky. His fingers tingle as the darkness crawls along his skin, dancing along his fingertips and settling on his palm.
Hide allows his hand to glow dimly, chasing away the darkness that surrounded it. The gentle light washes over his body, creating a thin veil that drapes along his arms and legs. His arms drops to the ground next to him, the pads of his fingers brushing against the earth.
"Hey, Kaneki," Hide asks softly, voice hoarse. His throat feels raw. His ears are ringing, and his skin feels both warm and cold at the same time. Hide gulps, a lump forming in his throat. His body feels numb as he hears Kaneki shift in his spot.
"Hmm?"
"Are you scared of the dark?"
"No," Kaneki replies hesitantly, yawning as he turns to lay on his back. He cracks open his eyes by a fraction, staring up at the constellations. Hide holds his breath, and his chest tightens at the sight. Kaneki's eyes are pools of stardust, his black hair the dark matter of space. He is the moon, the single ray of light in the darkness of night.
Kaneki turns to lay back on his side, shifting on the grass. Hide watches him through the corner of his eyes, smiling as Kaneki's hands curl next to his face. Hide's gaze meets silver orbs, and they stare through him, analyzing his façade. His hands uncurl at his sides, and a soft smile spreads on his face.
"Why?" Kaneki asks after what feels like an eternity.
Hide's eyes widen in surprise, and then he closes them. He laughs quietly, volume rising as it continued, draping one of his arms over his eyes. His laugh turns bitter, and his fingers curl into the dirt to keep under control. His laughter dies off, and the two of them sink into uncomfortable silence. The air is thick around them, and Hide's limbs turn cold once again.
He can feel Kaneki's gaze on him, but Hide ignores it. He moves the arm covering his eyes to his forehead, watching the dark sky turn from a dark abyss to the pale blues and purples of morning. He looks at Kaneki through the corner of his eyes, a secretive smile gracing his face. Hide shrugs, and Kaneki sighs, nuzzling his head into the soft grass and closing his eyes. It feels like an eternity before Kaneki's body relaxes in sleep.
To the sound Kaneki's even breaths, Hide uncurls his fingers, the uncomfortable feeling of dirt under his nails calming him down. His breath hiccups as he takes a deep breath of the fresh, bitter cold air. Staring back into the pale colors of the early morning sky, Hide whispers to the dwelling stars, voice hushed and broken.
"I am."
Kaneki watches the pale gray clouds drift along the sky, blocking away the sight of blue skies. His legs are stiff from walking, and the straps of Hide's backpack dig into his shoulders. He runs a hand through his hair and immediately regrets it, the greasy strands leaving an unpleasant feeling on his fingers. Kaneki sighs and shifts his gaze from the sky to Hide's back, white bandages peeking out from behind his shirts.
Kaneki can still feel the smooth skin of the blond's back against his fingertips, a ghost of a sensation that leaves his cheeks warm and stomach in knots. Kaneki's eyes travel from Hide's shoulder blades up to the back of his neck, mapping through the maze of freckles. He settles on the pale skin of an old scar, and his hands clench into fists, fingernails biting into his palms.
Kaneki takes a deep breath, gulping away the questions that rise up in his throat. He bites his tongue, dipping his head to stare at the ground. Long green grass surrounds them, the only area vacant of the grass being the thin dirt path. Kaneki looks at the various footmarks that had been left by other travelers, paving the way to the city of Eirene. Short strips of grass grow near the edges, some strands being dark green and others being a lighter lime color.
"We only have a bit farther to go," Hide grunts, stretching his arms above his head. Kaneki watches him, noticing the small wince the blond makes. It's not nearly as bad as before, but Kaneki still feels guilt coil in his stomach.
Hide lets his arms drop to his sides, swinging them in a half arc when he turns to look at Ken. He points a thumb behind him, stumbling on his feet, eyes shining bright as he grins. "That's Eirene."
Kaneki looks past Hide, his eyes widening at the sight of the city in the distance. The buildings are of various sizes, going from one story to fifty, from long to short, skinny to wide. It didn't shine like Tyche, but its presence was undisguisable. Dark red roofs and green bricks stand out even from their distance, small lights creating a dim dome of light around the city.
"Yooouuu wanna join the Guild?"
"Ha?"
Hide laughs, gentle and sweet (and Kaneki momentarily thinks back to last night, when the cheery blond's laugh sounded like a sad sob instead of a bubbly chuckle), his grin wide and bright. "Do you want to join Anteiku?" Hide asks again, his brown eyes seeming brighter than before. Kaneki finds himself entranced, unable to look away.
"I-I," he mutters, blinking rapidly as his cheeks turn scarlet. He stares into Hide's hopeful gaze for a few moments longer, and then he dips his head to the ground, poking at the grassless ground with the toe of his shoe. He becomes conscious of the brown book in his pocket, the hard leather cover digging into his thigh. "I don't… don't have any magic," He finally manages, feeling like he was being strangled.
"I can teach you some," Hide declares, hands behind his head. Kaneki looks up slowly, stopping at the blond's face, the grin being flashed at him as bright as the sun. Hide's brown eyes stare back (the dark bags under them contrasting with the bright gleam that shine at him), quickly looking at Kaneki's pocket before meeting his gaze once again. The pocketbook feels heavy, and his skin tingles. "Besides, Rize gave you a Magic gift! It'd be a shame not to learn how to use it!"
The thought of Rize sends shivers down Kaneki's spine. Her wide grin flashes in his mind, her purple eyes staring down at him. He remembers the way they had turned red, how she smelt of blood, flowers, and coffee when she stood close to him. He feels like needles are slowly being poked into his arms.
Kaneki gulps, trying to regain his composure. When he looks up he sees a flash of worry in Hide's eyes, but the blond hides it quickly. Hide shrugs. "Just a thought, ya'know? You don't have to join the Guild if you don't want to."
"No," Kaneki says, surprised by his own words. "No, I want to join," he closes his mouth before he can continue, locking away the words he wants to say. I want to stay with you. His faces burns, and he looks at the large field of grass, feeling Hide's gaze on him. His blush intensifies.
They're silent for what feels like forever, the only sound being their even breathing and the grass swaying in the gentle breeze. Kaneki feels his face return to its normal temperature, watching an individual strand of grass lag in the calming oscillate. He works of the courage of looking at the blond, who has turned to face Eirene. Kaneki's gaze traces his body, his fingers twitching. He hasn't felt like drawing in a long time, yet Hide seems to bring his motivation back tenfold.
"I'll teach you some magic later," Hide states, turning partially around, smiling. "For now, let's get to the Guild so you can join!"
AN: I have no excuse as to why this is so late. Its short, I even split this chapter in two (They were supposed to go to the Guild, but I decided to upload this half first). *sighs* Sorry peoples, I just don't have a lot of motivation lately.
Anyway, please tell me what you think!