Misconception
X
Kate jerks awake to the slam of a door, instinctively reaching for a weapon that isn't there.
His arms tighten around her. "It's okay, just Alexis," he murmurs. His lips brush the back of her neck. "She texted me she'd be on her way out again. No need to get up."
Kate blinks slowly, body heavy and numb, drained. "Okay," she mumbles back to him, not sure if it really is.
If anything is. It's more like a truce.
She lies with him on the bed and listens to the sounds of his daughter coming inside the loft. The thump of a book bag being dumped on the floor, shoes clattering as they're kicked off, the rustling and moving around.
A cabinet door opening, the refrigerator door opening. Water pouring.
And then utter silence.
"Oh, God, I forgot," Castle croaks behind her, shifting to his elbow. "I left the ultrasoun-"
"Dad?!" Alexis practically shrieks. "Dad, oh my God, is Detective Beckett-"
Before Kate can even turn over, Castle is already hustling out of the bedroom to intercept his daughter.
"But, oh my God, Dad-"
The low rumble of his voice is all Kate can hear of his response. She sighs and rolls to her back, a hand over her eyes. She can hear him guiding Alexis away.
But it's not fair to leave Castle out there alone when this is both of their responsibilities. Alexis isn't her biggest fan, but Kate has been pushed too far past caring right now. So what if Alexis hates her? Can't make this much more difficult than it already is. And maybe it's time for a little more honesty, a little more talk.
Alexis is an adult, after all.
Kate sits up. Her legs are tangled in a throw blanket that Castle must have covered her with, and as she unwinds the soft material, her heart struggles to lift. It's a sweet gesture. He's a good father; she's lucky that she'll never have to worry about that.
She stands and heads first to his bathroom to check out the damage her crying has done.
A massive form looms out at her and Kate jerks and stumbles back to the door frame. With her heart pounding, she lets out a little laugh.
Boba Fett? From Star Wars, cape and blaster and metal helmet. That thing about killed her.
She shuffles past the eerie life-sized bounty hunter, and leans her hips against the sink to peer at her face in the mirror. Boba Fett menaces just over her shoulder, but Kate ignores him and turns on the taps, splashing cool water over her face.
Dripping, she fumbles for the hand towel, dries her face and looks again.
Not so hot. But. Better than she might have guessed. Blood-shot eyes but her skin isn't mottled, and her lids aren't swollen. Just rather - wan. She looks worn thin.
Kate glances down at her shirt and sighs, starts buttoning it back up again. A terrible surge of grief washes through her, and she has to close her eyes and tilt her chin up to keep from crying again.
No. No more. It's not attractive and it's making Castle feel like shit and he doesn't deserve that. It happened. It was her choice, both the frantic need of that night of Ryan's wedding and then to her silence to him afterwards. So she can deal with the consequences.
Kate buttons the last button, zips up her pants, and then regards herself critically in the mirror. Her hair is flat, listless, her eyeliner has smudged though the mascara remains, and she has a crease on her right cheek.
It'll have to do. She's delayed enough.
Kate can't remember what happened to her shoes, but it's likely that Castle took them off sometime after she fell asleep. She has no idea where they are now, and she'd really like to have her heels when she faces his daughter, but there's no time to look.
She moves out of the bedroom and slowly down the hall, absolutely quiet, her shirt untucked and wrinkled, her pants already feeling too tight. She can see Castle's back first, and then as she comes forward into the living room, he shifts and there's Alexis facing him over the kitchen island, the ultrasound photo in her hand and being waved around as if in emphasis.
It makes her heart clench.
"I can't believe you!" his daughter is hissing.
Kate doesn't want to know what she can't believe, and she feels this sick, panicky urge to yank the photo out of Alexis's uncareful fingers.
She can't hear what it is Castle says in response, but Alexis's face flinches, and she looks away from her father.
Right at Kate.
Alexis's mouth drops open. "Oh, my God. Detective Beckett."
Castle turns around almost comically, and his mouth drops open too. Apparently he didn't expect her out here, didn't expect her help.
The two of them are a frozen tableau as Kate comes up to the kitchen island, and before she can think about it, Kate reaches out and gently tugs the photo from Alexis's hand.
The girl flushes pink, anger or embarrassment; Kate doesn't know yet how to read her. But she turns her back on Alexis and moves to Castle's side, and for a moment, she can't let go of the ultrasound even to him.
Castle curls his palm on top of the counter, meeting her eyes. She releases the photo back to him, still with that lingering reluctance, but he cradles it protectively and slides it back into the pocket of his plaid shirt where it belongs. Safe.
Kate is dismayed to discover that she doesn't much like his daughter right now. She did, she used to, she thought Alexis was wonderful and sweet and kind, but now Kate is afraid - afraid of the misery Alexis could bring for them if she wants to, if she continues to stand in difference, indifferent.
But this is on Kate as well. She refused to give it a rest, to stop investigating her mother's case, ignoring Castle's heartfelt plea - and she got shot in front of everyone she loves. Shot in front of Alexis and Castle's mother, her own father, Lanie and the boys, even Montgomery's poor wife and family - shot in the chest as Castle tackled her to the grass. Bleeding and dying in the grass, for everyone to see. Spread the trauma around.
And everything after that decision - to kick Castle out of her apartment and do it alone - everything after that was one mess after another. That's why she's been waiting, why she's been in therapy, why she is trying-
But Alexis doesn't know any of this. And while it's not her business to know, it is her family that Kate's affecting.
"Kate?" Castle murmurs.
She's been standing here for a long time, staring at that photo in his pocket while they try to figure out what she's doing here.
She's still trying to figure that out herself.
Kate lets out a long breath and turns to look at Alexis. The girl's face is sour, but back behind the immature defensiveness is a hurt that hasn't healed.
Kate did that.
"I think we should all talk about this," Kate says finally. "Can we sit down?"
X