Here's another chapter! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
The contestants were all clustered together. While some like Crobat and Rhyperior were keeping to themselves, Some were socializing.
Sylveon and Kecleon were discussing several different subjects, Sylveon looking bored, Gallade was holding a serious conversation about Pecha Cola with Macoke and Scyther, Geodude was putting quarters in the Pika man arcade game, and Pelipper was talking with Caterpie and Lucario.
"so what do you guys do for fun?" Pelipper asked.
"I go out to the forest near my town and explore" Caterpie said proudly.
"That's cool. I hang around with my friend's, then go to work.." Lucario says sipping some soda.
Caterpie: "sound's rather abysmal." "Eh, it keeps me active" Lucario said smiling.
Meanwhile Zoroark had taken out a laptop and was typing away. Kirlia walked over, "Hi there! Im Kirlia." Zoroark glanced at her, 'Hey." she said simply, She resumed typing away.
Kirlia; "um...What are you working on there?" Zoroark just kept typing.
Latios and Latias entered. "Hello contestants! I assume we all know each other now? Good! Now onto more important matters...Time to pick team leader's!
As soon as Latios said, "Leader's", Crobat flew forward. "me" She said determined.
Latios nodded and wrote on a clipboard. "alright, Crobat is now a leader, and uh..." He looked around and pointed at Pelipper. "Pelipper"
Pelipper looked surprised. "Alright, now were going to pick your members" Latias said.
Latios cleared his throat and continued writing on the clipboard. "Pelipper, you will have Lucario, Shelgon, Caterpie, Stoutland, Gallade, Onix, Scyther, Phanpy, Kecleon, Ditto, and Zoroark on your team." Most of Pelippers team muttered approval's, Zoroark was busy typing, Stoutland muttered a curse under his breath.
Latias: And Crobat, you will have, Kirlia, Delcatty, Sylveon, Gyarados, Blissey, Bisharp, Meowth, Porygon, Rhyperior, Macoke, and Geodude on your team. Any objections?"
Machoke: Yeah! Why can't I be the leader? I'm way more qualified than the flying torso here." Crobat glared daggers at him and used Air cutter, flapping her wings hard, knocking him over.
Latios: "Now then! Pelipper, You shall be known as Blue Team! And Crobat, you are Red Team!"
Stoutland gave an arrogant snort: "Bloody original names, idiot."
Latios gave him a glare. "It just so happens those names correspond with your very first challenge, so go pack up. Your trailer's are right outside the arcade, and also, guy's have their own cabins, girl's have their own." Gallade groaned at that.
"Oh! Before you all leave, if anyone needs to talk privately, or just be alone, then head to the confessional, located over in your bathrooms." Latios said motioning to the houses.
"This Place sucks already." Stoutland said, barely fitting in the cramped bathroom.
"This is awesome! I didn't expect to be chosen as the team leader!" Pelipper said, enthusiastically flapping his wings.
"That Batty Bitch made a huuuuuge mistake." Machoke said rubbing his sore arm.
The blue team entered their respective cabins. The boy's tenement was filled with bunk beds, and held a small TV and mini fridge. They all went and claimed their own beds and set their bags down.
Lucario: "So what do you guys think the challenge is?" Stoutland: "Who cares? It's going to be over with soon anyways."
Gallade whispered to Caterpie "Why the hell are we stuck with him anyways? All he does is bitch and complain."
"Stoutland just seems uptight. Maybe he's nervous about the competition?" Caterpie said, his head barely reaching the camera.
Over in the girl's rooms, Zoroark was putting her laptop back in her pack, she looked around. It was only her, Kecleon, Ditto, Shelgon, and Phanpy in the room.
"This is it? Only five girls?" Kecleon asked irritated. Zoroark merely shrugged her shoulders. Phanpy nodded her head timidly. Ditto sat and stared into space. Shelgon was looking at a picture of a plane absentmindedly.
Ditto sat in the confessional and stared into the camera. The toilet flushed, and her body jiggled slightly.
The males of the red team were setting their stuff down, and getting to know one another. "Gotta say we have some pretty fine looking ladies around here" Gallade remarked while putting his duffel bag under his bed.
"Yeah, they're a few that are pretty hot, but then we have one's like the flying torso, and the moody shrimp" Machoke said with a snicker.
Porygon looked at Machoke. "none of the ladies are fire type, so how are they hot?"
The other males just gave him an odd look.
"I am not familiar with social customs, and am hoping to learn them on this show, and possibly make, friends. Or as most call them, 'Bros'." Porygon said.
The girl's of Red team were doing the same as the boy's, getting their living spaces ready and conversing.
"Well, it's nice to know they're a lot of people here." Delcatty remarked approvingly.
"What's so nice about it? That means more competition!" Crobat huffed angrily.
"Idiot's. More people mean's more people I need to trample to win. I've never lost anything, and I sure as hell am not losing this competition." Crobat said determined.
As The others gave her irritated glares, Latias's voice rang over the intercom.
"ATTENTION CONTESTANTS! Report to the stone field immediately!" Latias said over the intercom.
Everyone made their way to The stone field, it was barren.
Latios: " All right camper's! Whose ready for the first challenge?!"...Silence. 'Yeah! Caterpie said from the back.
"what are we doing anyways? This place is empty." Lucario said confused. "Ah, I'm glad you asked that!" Latios said as he pulled out a remote and pressed a green button. The ground started to shake, and the field started to open. The campers all struggled to keep their footing, except for Gyarados and Onix, who just looked annoyed. Another landscape started to rise up, it was surrounded by large walls, so the field was obscured.
The shaking finally stopped, and everyone got back to their feet. Latios motioned for everyone to go through a cave like door. Everyone got through, aside from Gyarados, and Onix.
Latias "um, you two are free from the challenge today." Gyarados just huffed, and Onix started talking again.
The contestant's got through the cave, and were greeted with an amazing sight. In front of them, was a fully reconstructed field of Blood gulch from Halo 1.
Latios "Welcome Camper's, to the first challenge! A good old game of Capture The Flag!" He looked behind him too see the contestant's still staring in awe. (except for Stoutland. He was still complaining.)
"Uh, hey. Wake up!" Latias yelled. Most of the contestants snapped out of their stupor, only Geodude and Pelipper were still staring mouth's agape.
"Like the field? Good! You will be participating in a real life Halo match, the rules are as follows. Blue team will be attempting to steal the Red flag, and vice versa. You will be dressed in armor with sound sensors that will go off when you 'Die', If any of you get shot, head to your base and reset your beepers. First team to score three points win, your equipment is over in your respective bases." Latios explained.
"I...I...Word's can't express my happiness" Geodude said shedding a few tears..
Lucario and Pelipper rushed over to the first base, followed by their team. Crobat and her team had to run to theirs, all the way on the other side.
Inside, Blue team were surprised to find very accurate halo 1 armor, even down to the clearest detail weaponry, ranging from Assault Rifles to Sniper rifle's. "Are these real?" Pelipper asked excitedly. "No, they're airsoft" Lucario said slipping a mag into an AR, and taking a few Airsoft Grenades.
"Hey, where are the Battle rifles?" Gallade said slipping his armor on. "This is Halo 1 moron, BR's didn't appear till Halo 2." Stoutland said arrogantly.
"Dude, seriously, stop being such an asshole", Pelipper said. "I'm being blunt" Stoutland retorted just wearing a helmet. (The armor was fitted for humanoid pokemon, so some were restricted to wearing just the helmet's.)
Crobat's team were scrambling to get ready. "Hurry up! The challenge is about to begin!" Crobat shouted as she slipped on torso and back armor.
"Chill out, we'll be fine" Meowth said trying to fit his helmet on his head. "We won't be fine if you don't get your ass out there! Crobat shouted.
"Alright contestant's! Capture the Flag!" Latios shouts over the intercom, and sat in an observatory room.
"Alright! Gallade, Zoroark, with Kecleon, you'll be the covering fire Ill be air support!" Pelipper says loading his beak with grenades.
"What about me?" Caterpie says sitting in his helmet. "oh...um...Listen Caterpie, stay here with Phanpy and Stoutland and guard the flag." Lucario said. Caterpie: "but why?"
Stoutland: "Because you can't hold a gun, you're worse than useless." This earned him a glare from Lucario and Gallade.
"Alright, Rhyperior your flag defense! Bisharp, snipe, the rest of you rush and protect me!"
"Why should we defend you?" Sylveon asked.
Crobat scofed. "Duh, I'm the fastest one here, I get the flag, you all act as distractions, and I secure the victory! Break!" Crobat says and flies out of the base. Her team member's exchanged glances then ran out.
"Ignoring the bat, I'm going to sneak from the sidelines. I'm small and should be able to blend in with the foliage well" Kirlia says to Sylveon and -Porygon, who both nodded in approval.
Lucario and his strike team made it to the middle of the map. As they started to cross the middle line, they were met with gun fire from the Red Team.
Lucario dodged out of the way and hid behind a nearby boulder. Gallade was able to get under the barrage of air pellets and scramble to the safety of the hills. Zoroark wasn't so lucky, having been hit several times. Her armor started beeping, and she stormed off back to base.
"Wait, Zoroark." Lucario said motioning for her to come over. She walked over. "when you get back, I have an idea. I'll give cover fire, you sneak from the sidelines." "And what then? I don't blend in very well with the environment, if you didn't notice." Zoroark said confused. "That's the beauty of you though! You could disguise yourself as one of the re-spawning teammates, and take them all out!" Zoroark blushed very slightly.
"Lucario's a good planner, and seems like a nice guy, but he's a bit over dramatic." Zoroark said.
Kirlia made her way around the left side of the canyon. She could already hear the gun's going off, and saw the two team's exchanging gunfire. All she had to do was make her way to the base, and grab the flag. Easy enough.
Kirlia was interrupted from her thoughts as her armor started beeping. She looked down in shock, then looked and saw Kecleon materialize out of nowhere holding a shotgun. "I...uh...how..." Kirlia stuttered. "Cloaking" said Kecleon with a grin. Kirlia stomped off to her base.
Crobat had successfully made it to the blue base, her teammates had provided an adequate distraction. She lowered herself in from the skylight. 'Heh! Too easy! Now just to pick the flag up...' She thought. She gripped it with her little feet, and tried to lift. "What the ! Why is it so damn Heavy! She seethed. She flapped frantically, but stopped when she heard her armor start beeping.
Stoutland had casually headbutted the back of her armor, an insta-kill.
She muttered curses as she flew back to her base. As she flew in, she saw most of her team mates already back, either getting ammo or waiting to get back into the action. "So where's the flag?" Machoke asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"It was too heavy! And they left people to guard it!" Crobat snapped. "Gee, it's almost like they planned for it" Meowth said sarcastically." Crobat gritted her teeth. "We repeat the same procedure, but this time I'll be ready for the flag's weight, got it?" Crobat ordered.
"Yeah, no. If you want to win this game you have to come up with smart strategic plans, something which seems to be too hard for you" Machoke said.
Crobat flared and was about to use air slash on him, but a barrage of air pellets stopped her and hit everyone In the room. Gallade entered, snatched the flag, and ran off.
"Why didn't you idiot's stop him?!" Crobat shrieked, then she noticed everyone's armor beeping. Everyone was giving her a dead glare.
"Idiots!" Crobat seethed.
Sylveon: "Why is she the leader again?"
Gallade ran as fast as he could with the flag. 'Yes! This is just too easy!' Gallade thought as he kept running. He heard pellet's whiz past him, hitting his legs and back. He swung around, and brought his AR up to aim...
Smack!
A particularly powerful BB smacked right in between his eyes.
Gallade stumbled. His head was ringing, and his armor was beeping. He collapsed on the ground, unconscious. Over at red base, Bisharp reloaded her Sniper rifle, smirking with satisfaction.
"Huh, that hit him harder than I thought it would. Didn't we test them?" Latios asked Latias. "The interns tested them, but they weren't conscious enough to tell us if they were safe, so I assumed they were OK." Latias said with a smile. "Work's for me." Latios said sipping an umbrella drink.
Lucario ran out and grabbed the flag. Bisharp steadied her aim, and started to pull the trigger, but before she could, Lucario was gone! Bisharp looked from the scope incredulously.
"Gotta love ExtremeSpeed" Lucario said with a grin.
Back at blue base, Lucario arrived at the entrance, and threw the flag in.
"ATTENTION CAMPERS! BLUE TEAM HAS GOTTEN THE FIRST POINT!" Latios announced.
"No fair! He used Extremespeed! That wasn't in the first Halo!" Geodude shouted. 'Ugh, fine! No more using moves, Blue team has 1 point, and Red Team now has a negative half point for sass!" Latios said annoyed. "Dammit Geodude!" Crobat yelled from the middle of the field.
Most of Red Team were exchanging fire at the middle of the map, with Lucario, Ditto (transformed into master chief), and Scyther holding their own. Meowth started to prime a grenade, when he saw the red flag floating away. Meowth tapped Machoke's back and pointed. Machoke stared and fired at it. Kecleon became uncloaked and dropped the flag with a shriek. Meowth walked over with a smirk, "Nice try gecko." He said taking the flag.
"Hey, I'll take the flag from here." A deep voice rumbled behind Meowth. He looked and saw Rhyperior.
"Rhyperior? Aren't you supposed to be defending the flag?"
Rhyperior shrugged. "Bisharp told me she'd take over , so I decided to come out." "Well, alright then. Here." Meowth said handing him the flag.
Rhyperior grinned, and chucked a grenade at the small cluster of red team, taking them all out. And causing them to shout, curse, and gawk in surprise.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Meowth yelled. Rhyperior suddenly changed into Zoroark, who grinned and shot Meowth in the head with her pistol.
"...I...How...Dammit I hate illusions.." Meowth said angry.
Zoroark ran across the field and scored for her team!
"ATTENTION CAMPERS! BLUE TEAM NOW HAS TWO POINTS! RED TEAM IS REALLY SUCKING RIGHT NOW!" Latios yelled into the intercom, earning a few curses from Crobat.
Crobat was yelling at Meowth. "Because of yours and Geodude's stupidity, Were' not only 2 and a half points behind, but they're one point away from winning!"
"Hey, don't blame me, blame that Fox! How was I supposed to tell?!" Meowth responded angrily. Crobat was seething.
"Idiot's Idiots' Idiots! Am I the only competent one here? I'm the only one who even got to the blue flag, while they're afraid of three people behind rocks!" Crobat raged.
Lucario was planning with Zoroark. "Alright, now I think if you disguise yourself as a smaller pokemon, you might be able to sneak past them." Lucario said chucking a grenade. "That's... going to be difficult then." Zoroark said. Lucario looked at her confused.
"Since I don't use my shape shifting ability near as much as other Zoroark's, it's harder for me to go into multiple forms so quickly." Zoroark said looking down slightly.
"That's ok" Lucario said giving an understanding smile, "We'll think of another plan." As he finished his sentence, a grenade plopped into the middle of them. Lucario's eyes bugged out, and he pushed Zoroark out of the way.
The grenade exploded, slamming him with metal Pellet's. His armor beeped loudly, and flashed red.
Lucario grumbled in annoyance and pain and got up to go back to base. He stopped and helped Zoroark up.
"Uh, sorry about that, I freaked out." Lucario said grinning embarrassed. "Um...It's alright. Are you ok? That was right in front of you." Zoroark said a bit concerned. "Naw, im part steel so it barely hurt me." Lucario said smiling. He jogged off back to blue base.
"I don't know why he's so cheery. Between the yelling bat, the stinging pellets, the annoying dog, and the deafening mega phones, anyone should be irritated by now." Zoroark said.
An hour passed, Kirlia was able to sneak into the Blue base and capture the flag for Red team, and Rhyperior was able to force his way in, making the total scores .2 points to 2 and a half. Lucario and the others of blue team had tried a lot of plans, but the red team were able to stop them at every turn, now that they weren't following Crobat's orders. Both teams were momentarily deadlocked.
Lucario entered Blue base where Caterpie sat sadly in his helmet, Phanpy was covered in welts from being shot so many times, and Stoutland was reading a magazine, bored. Even Lucario showed some signs of injury, having taken several shot's from sniper rifles, and up close with shotguns.
"This is more difficult than I thought" Lucario said sitting down and resetting his armor.
"M-maybe we should all hole up here?" Phanpy said. "Yeah, make me more annoyed why don't you." Stoutland said flipping a page.
"We just need a way to get behind the enemy lines, if we can do that, then we can rush them." Lucario sighed.
"Sorry I can't help" Caterpie said sadly. Lucario was about to console him, but stopped. He looked at the grenades, and then at Caterpie. They were near the same size. "What?" Caterpie said.
Lucario grinned, an idea in his mind...
Bisharp was firing at Pelipper, who was swerving in the sky. The other members of Red Team were slowly advancing on the hiding Blue team members. Bisharp looked into her scope, having pegged Pelipper, and watched as her team ran forward. She grinned, this was going to be easy.
All of a sudden, Blue team chucked several grenades! Red Team started to run away, but saw the grenades go soaring past. Blissey looked in confusion to her teammates, who were equally confused. They all shrugged and started advancing again. What they didn't notice, was the flying caterpillar.
Caterpie was thrown in the air, with all of the grenades.
"Oharceusoharceusoharceus!" He shouted as he hit the ground. "Ow..." Caterpie groaned as he picked himself up.
He looked to the several grenades near him, and rushed to them, gripping the pins with his mouth, then smacking them with his tail individually across the field. Pellet's exploded all around the Red Team, getting all of the main defense out.
While Red Team looked around confused and surprised, Lucario, Zoroark, a now recovered Gallade, and Caterpie all started to run to red base.
Red Team saw them, and started to run back themselves, desperate to reset their armor and stop them.
Bisharp steadied her rifle, and started firing, she hit Caterpie, and started to aim at Zoroark, when a pellet hit her armored head, making her beep loudly. On the other side of the field, Ditto, still disguised as Master chief started to spin around and fire his Sniper rifle in the air, victorious.
Gallade dove in, and after shooting Rhyperior, snatched the flag. Red team all rushed in and quickly reset their armor, and ran back out, Guns blazing.
Gallade attempted to serpentine, but was barraged by pellets. He dropped the flag, which Lucario quickly scooped up, and ran, dropping his AR to the ground.
"Hey! We paid good money for those!" Latios complained.
Lucario was almost to blue base, he smiled, they were going to win!
All of a sudden, Crobat jumped out from behind a rock near the base, and threw a pistol at Lucario! It struck his helmet, and combined with the pellet's from before, was enough to 'kill' him.
"Hah! Too easy! Now, go on back to your base, while I take both of these flags to mine!" Crobat gloated, while grasping both the Blue flag and Red flag in her little feet. Lucario grit his teeth. All that planning, failed anyways. He thought bitterly.
As she started to take off, several pellet's hit her, on her armor, in her eyes, in her mouth, she was completely overwhelmed, and fell to the ground, unconscious.
"I guess these were more powerful than we thought" Latios said. "That or it's the metal Pellet's" Latias said mater of fact like. "The more you know" Latios replied sipping his drink.
Lucario looked back, and saw Zoroark wielding an Assault Rifle, and her pistol. She walked up and smiled at Lucario, who gave an enthusiastic smile back.
"good one! I figured we were going to lose the red flag." Lucario said relieved. Zoroark smiled, and gave him her assault rifle. "you dropped this." she said taking the two flag's into the base.
"ATTENTION CAMPERS! BLUE TEAM HAS JUST GOTTEN IT'S THIRD POINT! WHICH MEANS BLUE TEAM IS THE VICTOR OF THE CHALLENGE! Latios shouted into the intercom. Everyone on Blue Team cheered, even Stoutland grinned. Red team on the other hand, groaned in disappointment.
Where's Crobat? Wasn't she going for the red and blue flag?" Kirlia asked as Red team started to walk to the entrance. "Maybe she was in one of the caves?" Sylveon put in. As they got over the final hill, Meowth pointed. "There's your answer." He said plainly.
They all looked, and saw an unconscious Crobat, being tea bagged by Master Ditto.
The Blue team were celebrating in the boy's complex, drinking soda and juice, and blaring music from ditto who had turned into a stereo. They danced, drank, and just generally had a great time, reveling in their victory.
Zoroark was busy inside the girl's side, typing away on her laptop. She wiped her forehead and sighed, giving the program on the laptop an unhappy look. She started to resume her typing, when someone knocked on the door. "Come in!" She called as she shut her laptop.
Lucario poked his head in and opened the door. "Hey, why aren't you at the party? It's awesome over there!" Lucario said happily
Zoroark gave a small frown "I'm not much of a party person, plus im busy right now" Zoroark said plugging her laptop in too charge.
"Aw, come on. We were able to get some snacks from the kitchen, and we raided the refreshment storage, come join the fun!" Lucario encouraged.
"No. I'm busy. I don't want to party" Zoroark said serious.
Lucario looked a little put down. "All right if your sure, but I brought you these anyways." He strode in, holding a plate of berries and poffins, and an unopened can of soda. "I'll just leave these here, if you don't want it, im sure Kecleon or Phanpy will take them.
He set them down and started to walk out, but stopped. "Hey, I also wanted to say great job today, you were incredible" Lucario said with a warm smile. Zoroark stared at him as he closed the door. She looked down.
"It was just luck." She said not looking at the camera.
All of Red Team were gathered at the Arcade. None of them looked to happy, especially Crobat, who was complaining about how Blue Team cheated.
Latios floated in, carrying a plate of Poke Blocks with him. "Alright, if you've seen other game shows like this, then you know the drill. If you don't receive a Poke block, then your eliminated, and can't come back...Eveeeeeer." Latios said, which got a few nervous gulps. "You've all cast your votes, so let's see whose goin home!"
Confessional:
Kirlia: Crobat.
Sylveon: Crobat.
Gyarados: BISHARP!
Bisharp: Crobat.
Crobat: I want to vote for everyone on my team, but I'll settle for Geodude.
Rhyperior: Geodude
Blissey: Crobat.
Delcatty: Crobat.
Porygon: Geodude, he cost us points.
Meowth: Crobat.
Machoke: Flying Torso.
Geodude sat in the confessional, cradling his Assault Rifle.
"Alright , first up is...Kirlia." Kirlia went and got her Pokeblock, she sat down happily next to Sylveon. Soon, Machoke, Blissey, Porygon, Delcatty, Rhyperior, Meowth, Gyarados, Sylveon, Bisharp, had all gotten their blocks.
"The final 2, Crobat and Geodude." Latios said dramatically. "Why am I here?!" Crobat protested loudly. "Because your a bad leader, sure you got close to the enemy flag, but both times you were taken out because you were stalling! You also yell at your teammates when things don't go your way, so that didn't help. Geodude, you cost the team Half a point, not cool man." Geodude just mumbled.
"Now the person staying is...Geodude." Latios said throwing him the poke block, who caught it with a sigh of relief.
"WHAT?! YOU IDOTS JUST LOST YOUR BEST PLAYER!" Crobat screeched in anger. "No, we lost a bad leader, seems like an improvement" Meowth said smirking.
Crobat was about to launch herself onto Meowth, but she was suddenly covered in a blue aura, and couldn't move. "Latias, take her to the kart of shame" Latios said.
As Crobat was sent off, the remaining members of Red team walked off to their rooms...
Except for one...A lone giant watched as Crobats Kart of shame drove off. Rhyperior smiled to himself.
Rhyperior sat, a clever smile on his face, and started speaking, but his voice sounded more sophisticated, more intelligent. "She wasn't the brightest one, but she did have a point. She was a very strong competitor, who could have given me trouble in the long run. Luckily however, she was clumsy as hell. Now that she's gone, I can focus on taking the others down. But first..." Rhyperior said getting out of the bathroom.
"Maaan, am I glad she's gone, annoying little brat." Machoke said walking with Meowth and Rhyperior. "Yknow, it's a good thing too. She might have made some friends." Rhyperior said in a dull tone. "Oh please, who would be friend's with that moron?" Meowth said laughing. "Well, she could have made one of those...Uh...What are they called...Allegiance?" Rhyperior said, seemingly struggling to think.
"You mean alliance?" Machoke finished for him. "Yeah! One of those!" Rhyperior said snapping his finger's. Meowth and Machoke gave him a look. "Yknow, that ain't that bad of an idea rocky" Meowth said rubbing his chin in thought. "Yeah, perhaps we could form an alliance, and take down the rest of the camper's." Machoke said with a grin.
Meowth got a huge grin on his face, rubbing his paws together. "Let's do it then!" Meowth said excited. While Machoke and Meowth high fived, Rhyperior smiled evily.
"Like Putty in my hands. With these two, not only would we have an advantage in votes, but if something goes wrong, Machoke take's the blame. And then I'm free to work from the shadows. This game, is mine!" Rhyperior said, and laughed.
Whew! Done with the second chapter! This is easily the most I've written in quite sometime. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, expect the next one in the future!
Crobat: "Read and Review Losers!"