A/N: I AM SO SORRY!! I've been kinda lazy and usually when I'm not writing Fuffy, I'm reading it. So once again I'm sorry.

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LPOV

I'm bored, sitting here while Willow, Faith, and Buffy are passed out…so to speak. Willow did this spell to bring back their memories, but instead it just made them all pass out. So we're all sitting down in the library looking up Resnak and so far, no luck. Giles is pacing with a book in his hand; Dipshit has his eyes popped out of his head from reading too many books, and Dawn is lightly snoring. Well that is expected when you first shift and start to use your powers. So I can definitely relate to why my little cabbage is fast asleep.

"Li, have you found anything yet?"

"Not yet, but I think we all should get some sort of rest, I mean look at Faith, Buffy, and Willow. To me, it looks like they've got the right idea," Now before you guys worry, they're not in danger. We researched Willow's spell before we started on Resnak and safe to say, them passing out is a good thing.

"Amusing, But I agree nonetheless. Now would you be as kind as to show us to our rooms?"

"Sure," I say trying to lightly wake up Dawn, but instead she roars in protest and turns her head the other way. Giles and Dipshit are in shock and they both look in my direction.

"What the fuck was that?" Dipshit says, you can tell that I don't like him much.

"Li, I've realized that you didn't tell us what happened out on patrol,"

"LOOK, YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKIN' WATCHER, WHY SHOULD YOU CARE?!" I burst out and that spurred Dawn awake.

"Li…baby?" I look at Dawn and I calm down some, I'm still kind of shaken over what happened. But right when I came in, I just couldn't help myself.

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Rex and Evy come in after me, going up the stairs and putting Dawn in bed. I'm sitting down on the couch crying and they both run down here as fast as they can. I wipe the tears away from my eyes and look at them.

"Take the body out to the abandoned factory and burn him there, bring and container with you and bring back the ashes," they both nod and pick up my father's body. It looks like it's all up to me now.

--

I'm spurred out of my thoughts with dawn calling my name. Both Giles and Xander are looking at me, I better tell them what happened out there.

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FPOV

Whoa, I wonder whose mind this is now. Basically what Red did was try to bring back our memories and it worked, but this is just a side effect, like with the Orpheus, only safer. But like I said, I remember everything and when I see that fucking dog thing again I'm going to fucking annihilate it. When the backgrounds stops spinning. I take a look around and… Damn we're in my memories now. I know this because this is the apartment I lived in back in Southie.

"Where are we?" B asks

"We're back in Southie,"

"Where?"

"South Boston,"

Our conversation was cut short when I see a 13 year old me come stumbling into the kitchen. When I say stumbling I mean falling on my ass and being dragged in by my bitch of a mother.

"Now Faithy, where did ya stash my shit?"

"I didn't touch it I swear ma, I didn't,"

Then she backhands me across the face. I remember this day because this was also the day another thing happened to me.

"JAKE!! You can have her now; I'm tired of getting lies. Maybe ya make her see the truth," she says and he comes in and drags me to the nearest bedroom. I look over at Red and B and the both have tears in their eyes. Ok it's time to go; I don't want them to feel sorry for me any what-so-ever.

"Red, can we go now?"

"I can't control what happens in this, the spell does. I'm not even supposed to be here," Great. So we're all stuck in my memories until the spell feels like moving on? Fucking perfect.

"Please tell me he's not doing what I think he's doing," B says in my direction and then we hear my past self scream. You know I spent years trying to repress this and now? Well, it looks like I'll need therapy after all.

"He is, and this isn't the first time," I say before the background starts to spin. You know, all this spinning is eventually going to make me barf my brains out…well what's left of them anyway. The background stops and it's in a place that me and B both recognize. Angel's mansion.

"What are ya going to do B? Kill me? You become me, you're not ready for that…yet," and then my past self jumps out of the nearest window. At that time she didn't realize what that kiss I gave her meant. Then we flash to the outside where my past self landed.

"And I hope ya never will," but when do I ever get what I hope for? I mean when I was young I was hoping for a dog, just so I could love something, but it never happened. The room starts spinning and my gag reflex is really starting to strain and then we stop. We're back in my apartment.

"Mommy?"

"Mommy?" Then she wakes up angry.

"WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YA WANT?!" I remember this now; I was five when this happened and let's just say, it didn't go so well.

"Uhm… I-I… uh,"

"SPIT IT OUT, YA WASTE OF SPERM AND EGG!!"

"I was wondering if we could have a dog," Wow I said that pretty fast.

"A dog? Ya want a dog? Fine I'll give ya a dog," and then she went outside, picked up a stray dog brought it back, sat it right in front of me, pulled out a switchblade and slit the dog's throat open. This is another memory that gets me trauma points.

"Oh my goddess,"

"Now ask for another god damn dog again and see what ya get," Let's just say I never asked for another dog.