Chapter 4

When I wake up it is dark outside, I glance at the clock, and it's 10:13. How long have I been out? My long dark hair sticks to my face from all the tears I cried earlier. My eyes are swollen and red. I decide to take a shower to get all the saltiness off of me. As I run my hands over my body in the shower I entertain the idea that my hands are actually Peeta's. I bite my lip. What the hell has this boy done to me? I have got to stop, this is not healthy. I step out of the shower and dry off. I throw on an old t-shirt and some underwear; I'm too awake now to go back to sleep so I pad into the kitchen and grab one of the cookies I got at the clubs and orgs fair the day before. My sweet tooth is always getting the best of me, I'll gladly take a slice of cake for dinner anytime. I grab my laptop off of my desk and climb back into bed, pull up Netflix and decide to watch Supernatural. After I've watched about three episodes I decide that dropping out of college and living on the road saving people and hunting things actually sounds pretty good. Instead of following through with that plan I decide to call it a night, I've got a long day ahead of me tomorrow.

After class I head downtown to the little restaurant I work in. It's never very busy and the food is pretty bad but it does pay the bills. The one good thing about this place is the amazing smell that comes from the bakery next door, it is heavenly and it makes my sweet tooth hurt with want. I start my shift writing the nights special on the chalkboard just inside the door, tonight it is a burger with crinkle cut fries and a drink for $6.75. By the time I finish my friends Johanna and Annie are walking in the door giggling. Apparently Annie was just hit on by Finnick Odair, a real ladies man. If you have a vagina and are within a twenty foot radius of him you will be hit on. Annie is blushing, according to Johanna Finnick wasn't his usual debonair self he was tripping over his words and his cheeks were burning red. This is surprising to all of us.

"What happened to you yesterday?" Johanna's question catches me off guard. "I thought we were going to meet up?"

I'm embarrassed and my face burns red with anger at the memory of Gale. Johanna senses the change in my demeanor and asks if I'm ok.

"Shit, yeah, I'm alright man, I'm uh… I'm really sorry about yesterday, I just uh, I saw Gale and uh.." I trail off tears stinging my eyes again. "Dammit."

"Oh, girl I'm so sorry," Annie says, "I know it's hard but you can't worry about him he's an asshole and he's not worth anymore tears. Try to be like Elsa and let it go."

This makes me laugh. I know these girls are my friends, but I can't help the nagging feeling that I'm more trouble to them than I'm worth and I'm that friend that nobody really likes. As I'm mulling over this nagging in the back of my head, Peeta walks by the front of the restaurant, a dust of flour covering his clothes and hair. Why is he covered in flour? I wonder as I stare while he passes by the front window.

"What the hell is that?" Johanna asks quizzically snapping me out of my trance.

"Wh-what? What the hell is what?" I ask, my eyes reluctantly leaving the window.

"I saw that Everdeen, you were totally making googly eyes at Peeta Mellark, now spill it."

"Spill what? I just met him yesterday," I hesitate, "but God he's so fucking gorgeous. And I have to sit right next to him in critical thinking."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Johanna smirks, she already knows how I feel.

"You never know, he could be just the thing to get your mind off Gale," Annie chimes in, "you really deserve to be happy, you should try talking to him, the goofy smile on your face proves there's already a little something there."

"I don't know…" I mutter.

It's 11:00 when I am finally walking the two blocks it is to my apartment, I've not been able to stop thinking about what Annie said. Maybe I will talk to him, maybe I should, maybe there is something there. I'm just afraid to let anyone in again after Gale, he really fucked me up. I guess we will see what happens in class tomorrow, hopefully I don't make myself look like an idiot.