Hey guys! Here's the next chapter! wooot! i'm so glad you guys are into this story. this ones a long one i hope you don't mind. let me know what you guys think!
When I finished I felt so renewed. It was amazing what a good scrub can clean away. I also found a mirror. I hadn't seen myself since this whole debacle began.
I was still the same and not all at the same time and it was very disconcerting. My eyes were in fact two different colors, and my hair had such a softness to it I'd never known. My skin was white as snow and my movements more graceful than any dancer I'd seen. I seemed older, a great deal older. I didn't remember having such large hips, bust or being nearly this tall. I seemed to be well in my twenties when really I thought I was nineteen or twenty. I had barely been a women when I changed and now I seemed so old, How long had I been down there? How poor a concept had I had of time? My stomach knotted in the thought of it.
My diligence in time was now solely due to Edward. I owed everything to this man; as it stood I had a bed, clean clothes, a sense of time, a bath and food. But at what cost? Where was this man leading me? Was I simply a mouse walking into a trap? This is where my thoughts had wondered to as I dressed and tried to make myself presentable.
I put on the most simple dress in the vast closet, though it was still better than anything I had ever owned. I didn't want to ruin something I couldn't replace. And with my being unable to control this changing I knew clothes were going to be ruined.
It felt amazing to brush my hair as I sat staring in the mirror. Yes a vanity was the proper name fore this lavish desk I sat at. I had never been one to fuss in mirrors. My hair had done as it pleased and my eyes were the same shade of brown. I blushed far too often and was so pale.
I still had many of these features but now my hair was more vibrant and stayed in place. My eyes, it was strange to see one of them so changed. Just another reminder of what I was now. To have been a simple human girl to become this strange creature pained me. I knew nothing of the world it seems, and now I had no idea how to survive in this one. And here I am clinging desperately to the first person who doesn't beat me. Edward. His name put a smile on my lips.
"This is how you get hurt." It was strange to hear my voice out loud. It wasn't as I remembered it as a human. I pulled my hair back in a French brain and headed to Edwards room.
I reached to knock on the door when it suddenly opened, revealing an equally clean Edward. His damp disheveled hair called to my fingers, and I missed being able to see his bare chest. So I held them close and smiled more brightly than I had intended.
"Are you ready for this?" he asked, his face a mask of worry that made my heart skip a beat.
"I don't have to go alone do I?"
"Absolutely not, I'll be with you. Unless, that is you rathered I didn't of course." There again was the stumble in his speech that was so rare. Never once did his voice falter while we were greeted, yet now to me he cannot get his words together. And I loved it.
"If it isn't an inconvenience, I understand if you have other things you need to do. You seem to be important here, I wouldn't want to get in your way."
He chuckled, "Dear Bella, my time is your time now and I couldn't be more pleased. I'll stay with you till you tell me to leave."
There were those daring thoughts again, raging louder and louder. Not until you know for sure. Is what I told them.
"Lets get this over with?" he nodded and led me back through the maze of corridors.
It was into a huge room with a vast table did we finally stop in. James, and the others from earlier were here now with six others who suddenly turned to look at me when I entered.
It was then that I saw him. Jacob. The one I was to wed, the one who was going to give me my home, my children, my life. Now he sat here with five other men from my town and they all knew what I was.
"Bells!" Jacob shouted leaping from his seat towards me.
Instinctively I crouched down and let a loud warning growl escape.
"Bells… Bella it's me Jacob." His movements slowed, but still he continued to move towards me.
"This whole time." I growled low and threatening. "Why didn't you warn me! Why didn't you tell me what was out there! Why didn't you protect me!" I was hysterical, I knew it and didn't care. He was supposed to take care of me, I was to be his wife and now look where I was. I fought against the urge to change. I could feel my muscles tensing for it, waiting for me to wish it so.
"We chased after you, but your blood... he bit you, we couldn't find you. No woman has ever survived…" his face fell, he didn't walk towards me any longer.
"Well I did! And you left me! To be caged up and beaten by this leech and his cohort dog! I was going to be your wife…" the sobs broke free of my chest and I sank to the ground. The urge to change boiling on the surface as I struggled; the voices in the room fading into a white noise.
"Bella…" Edwards voice rang though the turmoil in my mind, his hand calming away the change. He was knelt low next to me, hovering over me, as if to shield me from the others. They were shouting something but I couldn't focus. Instead I tried to be focused on not changing, not phasing and not destroying this room.
"Let me take you outside, please." His movements were slow and exaggerated, but I didn't protest as he picked me up and pulled me close to him. I clung to him, willing the change to stop. It was all I could do.
Before I knew it we were outside, the cool crisp night air filled my lungs, calming me and allowing me to clear my head. I clung to him desperately, and he did not move to release me. I knew I shouldn't rely on him so but in this moment I didn't care as guilt washed over me.
Hot tears streamed down my cheeks. Jacob hadn't deserved that, I knew it wasn't his fault. I attracted danger like a magnet. But for him to be here now, to be in on this counsel of supernatural beings was never something I imagined. He was a werewolf, all six of them were. I wondered how long he had been one as well as the others.
Slowly my sobs subsided and I collected myself again. I needed to go back in there, I needed to find out what was going on. I needed answers and that collection of creatures had them. I reveled in the feeling of Edwards hand rubbing soothing circles on my back as I readied myself.
"Thank you. I'm sorry I'm such a burden." I apologized as I pulled away. I hated not being near him but I had to go in there and get things straight.
"Never a burden." He said, gently brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. I blushed furiously and looked to my toes.
"Are you ready to go back inside?" he asked me. I looked up and his face was a mask of concern.
"As ready as one can." I gave him the best smile I could muster and started walking inside working on controlling my emotions.
I should have slowed down on my return, but instead I flew through the doors knowing if I did I would turn and run. Immediately all eyes turned to look at me as I walked to the table they had gathered at.
"Bella! How good of you to rejoin us." Aro said, rising from his seat. He began walking towards me. "Please, come and join us we have much to discuss." He extended his hand to me and though I didn't want to, I took his hand and allowed him to walk me to the table. When we got to the last empty seat Aro turned to look at me, curiosity and wonder on his face.
"My dear! I cannot seem to hear your thoughts! Edward! Can you hear them?"
"No, I cannot." He said, looking at me.
"Astounding! First Jane, now Edward and I! You truly are an interesting creature." He said happily pulling my seat out for me, and returning to his own.
I turned to look at Edward who was hovering near the door, pleading for him. He continued forward and came to stand behind me. I smiled warmly, my hand falling to my side gripping his cloak. I didn't want him to leave me here alone. I needed him now, I knew I was being selfish but I needed him badly.
"Bella, I cannot express how glad we are to see you alive. Our lives have not been the same without you. I hope that you have been treated well." Sam gave me a warm smile, and it reminded me of home.
My only response was to smile at James. Now was not the time to be petty, though I had not forgotten him in the least. "Please forgive my forwardness, but I would like to discuss the time to come. And what it is you believe I am. I have been, oh kept in the dark one might say, about what it is exactly that I have come to be."
Anger flashed across James eyes and I could only smile though my stomach was in knots.
"Well that is what we are trying to discover little one. You are certainly a first in many accounts. I would love nothing more than for you to learn about your transformation and what that means. I assure you that you will be given all that you require here in Volterra to do so comfortably." His smile made my skin crawl, I wanted nothing to do with this strange ancient vampire. His onion skin and dark hair were so strange compared to the others around him.
"I feel that perhaps Bella should return home, with her betrothed Jacob. She was forcefully taken from our land and we are here to do nothing more than retrieve her."
I clenched my jaw tight, I am not a stick!, I screamed internally. I had no idea who my allies were now. Would life be the same if I went home? Could I be accepted into their pack? What would that mean? Would I still have to wed Jacob? What about Edward?
My mind struggled with my overwhelming feelings for Edward and my deep rooted desire to go home, someplace safe. Somewhere away from these vampires and their torture. They had turned me into this monster that I am. Who can I trust? I used to have trust in a lot of people but now I could trust no one. Not even myself apparently because still I clung to his cloak. I couldn't stay here. I wouldn't stay here. I couldn't leave Edward here. I can't leave him behind. I squeezed tighter on his cloak trying to find a way. He wasn't happy here and I knew it. What makes you think he'll be happy with you? He could choose. I wouldn't make him stay with me-
And then it hit me!
"If I may interrupt. A suggestion?" all the arguing that had begun ceased immediately. All eyes focused on me. "A compromise. I will go home, back to the new world. However, one of your coven may also return with me. They can be your liaison to the tribe and myself. " I wanted to to be my own party in this, not a part of the Volturi and not a part of the Quilluets.
"My dear, wouldn't you rather remain here in Italy? Think of all that you could do here."
"Yes, I have done so many great things during my time here. I do apologize that I have not found my previous arrangements to be enjoyable. I would like to return to my home, and I don't feel that this is something that is in your interest to deny me. Willing participants tend to be far more enlightening you see." I smiled sweetly. Yes I would destroy everything in site if he held me here. He would have to have me locked away again and that did him no good.
"I see. Yes perhaps your compromise is worth considering." He turned around, whispering quickly and quietly with his brothers. Soon he turned around to face us once again.
"Yes, I think this will be fair. I will provide Edward to accompany you, and to ensure that you are well taken care of." I was elated he had chosen Edward of his own accord rather than my persuasion. I hoped my luck would hold.
"Thank you Aro, but Edward is the only thing you need send. I just couldn't accept any more of your generosity. You have given so much already. I will meet my needs with my own means. But thank you." I smiled at Aro. I wouldn't accept anything from him, it would only put me into his debt. I could take nothing from either side, I had to remain neutral. I would have to do this on my own.
"I see. If you should change your mind please let me know. In the meantime, please feel free to remain as long as you need. There is no rush for you to return."
"Thank you Aro. Sam are you alright with this?" I said, looking to the man I had once admired. He had been a protector of our town. Would he allow me back after what I'd become?
"Yes but-"
I cut him off. That was all I needed to hear. The details weren't important to me, just me going back home, with Edward. "Thank you. If you all would please excuse me it's been a long day." I smiled graciously and silently left the room. I could hear them arguing over details long after I'd made it outside. I breathed in deeply the night air, letting its fill my lungs and clear my head.
I could feel Edward hovering behind me. I felt safe when he was near and I was selfish, I knew it. I didn't want to give up this feeling I had with him. But at what cost to him? Here I was assuming things and taking him from his home. Truly I was a horrid creature.
"I'm sorry." I finally managed to say, my back still to him.
"For what?" I could hear him step towards me. Still I couldn't turn to face him.
"For having to leave your home and follow me halfway across the world for starters." I sighed heavily, I felt horrible.
"I don't think that's anything to apologize for."
"How can you not!" I spun around to face him. "I'm going to drag you across the seas to play nanny for me and you'll be stuck there for who knows how long!"
"I think it's something I can live with." His lips rose in a crooked grin that made my heart skip a beat.
I gave him the best smile I could muster, still not convinced that my greed was worth the price. "How long do you need before we can leave? I don't want to rush you."
"A few hours." He took a step towards me.
"Are you sure?" my heart began to race as he closed the distance between us.
"Very." His was so close, all I had to do was lean in and our lips would meet. And I wanted them to more than I wanted to go home.
"Bella." Jacobs voice caused me to jump back. I saw him standing a few feet behind Edward, glaring into his back.
"Jake…" my stomach tightened. I had missed him and now when I finally get to see him I just hurt him.
"I'd like to talk to you. If that's alright?" He kept his distance, his eyes wary of another outburst from me. Again guilt panged my stomach.
"Of course Jacob. Lets have a walk?" I turned to Edward, my eyes pleading with him to understand. "I'll be back soon. Will you work on our departure?" I gave him a reassuring smile as I saw his mask slide into place.
"Of course." He nodded curtly and walked back in through those vast doors.
I breathed deeply, preparing myself. I started walking around the back, into the vast gardens.
"I'm sorry." We both said in unison. I laughed and Jake gave me a warm smile.
"I missed you." He said warmly, inching towards me.
"I missed you too." A tear rolled down my cheek. I wanted to run to him, have him hold me and things to be as they once were. But I didn't feel that way about him any longer. I still loved him, but now I knew it was a different kind of love.
"Don't cry Bella." And he did exactly what I wanted him to do, he pulled me close and hugged me tightly. It was so strange to feel such a contrast from Edward. Jacob was so warm, my sun. And I broke down, I couldn't stop the dam from breaking. He smelled like home and I missed that so much it hurt. He pulled me onto his lap as he sat on a bench, holding me close.
After my sobs quieted he spoke. "I'm so sorry Bella. I should have tried harder, I should have protected you. I should have known you would have survived, you're so stubborn. Know not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about you. I can't wait for you come home again, I hope that you will still marry me."
Immediately I tensed in his arms. Would I still marry Jacob? Could I still marry him? I was such a different person now than I was then. So much had changed and I felt we no longer fit together that way any longer. "I… I don't think so Jake." Again tears fell my down cheeks.
"It's him isn't it? You'll choose that leech over me?" His eyes flashed with fury.
"It's not like that. He doesn't… he doesn't feel that way about me. I just… I've changed too much Jake… there's been too much."
"I'm not letting you go without a fight Bella. You're too important to me." He pulled me back and stared into my eyes. "I will fight for you. There's no change in you that I can't accept."
"Even when I drink blood? Even when I can't go out in the sun?" I saw him flinch, he had no idea how I'd changed.
"I still love you Jake. You are my sun." I trailed my fingers down his cheeks, he looked so tired. "But I've changed too much."
"Still. I'll go down fighting." His eyes hardened with resolve. It was then I knew this wouldn't be easy for him. And I knew I couldn't live near him, not if I wanted him to move on. I wasn't the Bella he had been betrothed to, I was something else entirely now, and stuck in the middle with no place to go.
"Lets go back… I want to get out of this place as soon as I can."
"I couldn't agree more. The smell of this place alone makes me want to get out of here. We can leave in the morning, we've had a ship waiting in the docks for us. I'm sure Sam would be more than happy to leave." He smiled back, and he was My Jacob again.