WOOOOO! EPISODE 2!! Who knew I had this much writing stamina? Well, I thought this chapter was mildly amusing, but the next few chapters hopefully will be really freakin hilarious. I've already got some crazy ass ideas. Well, here ya go!

EPISODE 2

Alarm Clock: BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Marissa: Whathefuk? rolls over

Alarm Clock: BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!

Marissa: WHAT THE FUCK!? rolls out of bed, barges into John's room and throws a brick at the alarm clock

Alarm Clock: Ow... dude, what the hell?

Marissa: WAKE UP! throws brick at John

John: barely phased by brick Wha? What time is it?

Marissa: WHAT TIME IS IT!? IT'S TIME FOR MARISSA TO BE SLEEPING! WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU HAVE A 5AM ALARM SET FOR?!

John: Chas, wake up, exorcism. pushes Chas out of bed

Chas: thud k... stands up God Dammit! My ass feels like someone rammed a baseball bat up it. rubs ass

John: face down in the pillow You're welcome.

Marissa: Who the fuck schedules an exorcism at 5AM? The demon would still be asleep at this hour.

John: starts getting dressed We'll be back in an hour or two. Don't fuck up my apartment.

Marissa: Oh no, I'm coming with you! What kind of fangirl would I be if I didn't get to see my favorite seme in action.

Chas: No no no no no, if I don't get to see him do an exorcism neither do you! also getting dressed

Marissa: I already told you, I can do whatever I want and I'm coming with you two. I can make it so you get to watch too though Chas.

Chas: Welcome aboard. Salutes

John: Damn, I'm gonna have to keep both of you from getting killed?

Marissa: Hmm... not exactly...

Marissa: WOOOOOOO! GO JOHN!! PUNCH IT!! RIGHT HOOK!! RIGHT HOOK!! shoves popcorn in her mouth

Chas: DO THE CHANT JOHN!! DO THE CHANT!! WOOOOOOO!! throws popcorn in the air

Marissa: See? Aren't I a genius? We can watch from inside our demon proof box and leave all the danger and dirty work to John!

Chas: Couldn't you have just written that the demon decided to leave the host or something so he didn't have to do the exorcism in the first place?

Marissa: Yeah. eats more popcorn WOOOOOOOOOOO THROW A BRICK AT EM!!

All 3: walking to the cab

John: YOU COULD HAVE WHAT?

Marissa: I could have written the exorcism away.

John: WHY DIDN'T YOU?!

Marissa: Because it was a good show and I didn't want to miss it. Duh.

Out of Nowhere: Mew!

Chas: What was that?

Out of Nowhere Again: Mew!

Marissa: Sounds like a cat, or something.

John: feels something brush against his leg AH! What the fuck!?

Kitten: Mew!

Chas: AWWWWWWW!! It's a kitten!!

Marissa: I wonder what it's doing out here.

Chas: It must be a stray! Don't worry little buddy, we'll take you home and feed you till you explode! picks up cat

John: No way Chas! You're not bringing that thing into my house!

Chas: OUR house John. PLEASE JOHN? PLEEEEEEAAAAAASE?

John: Awww, he looks kinda cute holding the cat. NO! Dammit, no! We can't take in a cat!

Chas: Why not?

John: He looks so sad... Well, because...

Chas: puppy dog eyes

John: sigh Fine, but I'm not taking care of it.

Marissa: Cool beanz! What are you going to name it?

Kitten: is black with white paws, a white stomach and a white face

Chas: Johnny! Cause he looks so much like you John.

John: How does it look like me?

Chas: Look at him, all black and white, like you!

John: Great...

Chas: What do we have around here for Johnny to eat?

John: Get this thing off me Chas!

Johnny: all up in John's grill

Chas: Awwww, he likes you! Hey Marissa, can you materialize some cat food for Johnny?

Marissa: Sure. Writes "Marissa Brand cat food materializes sci-fi transporter style on the table next to Chas."

Marissa Brand Cat Food: materializes sci-fi transporter style on the table next to Chas

Chas: Marissa Brand?

Marissa: Awesome huh?

Chas: opens can and puts it on the floor Come here Johnny! Come get the food!

Johnny: hops off John's lap and eats the food

Chas: He's so little. I wonder if I can teach him any tricks.

Marissa: Like what?

Chas: Like fetching. grabs ampule of holy water and rolls it across the floor Fetch!

Johnny: cocks head

Marissa: Maybe you should do a monkey see, monkey do sort of thing. picks up holy water Like this. rolls it away Fetch Chas!

Chas: I'm not a cat!

Marissa: Picks up Fanfiction Note threateningly.

Chas: Fine. crawls over, picks up ampule in his mouth and brings it back

Marissa: Good boy pats Chas' head

Chas: You ready to try boy?

Johnny: licks paw

Chas: Alright! Fetch! rolls water away

Johnny: chases after ampule and starts pawing at it and sliding it across the floor.

Montage of Chas and Marissa Trying to Train the Cat: happens

Johnny: finally brings back the ampule of holy water

Chas: THANK GOD! pets the cat victoriously I have taught a cat to fetch!!

Marissa: You should give him a treat or something.

Chas: Um... you wanna materialize some cat treats for me?

Marissa: sigh Sure. materializes Marissa Brand cat treats I should start a pet food business.

John: Great, you've spent 4 hours teaching a cat to fetch. Congratulations on wasting your time.

Chas: Oh, you think it's cute. I know you do!

Phone: rings

John: answers phone Hello. Yes, this is. What's your address? I'll be there in a bit. hangs up

Chas: An exorcism?

John: Yeah, come on.

Chas: grabs the cat and heads out the door

John: Wait! You can't bring the cat!

Marissa: in a teasing singsong fashion Yes we can.

John: sigh

John: is exorcising

Marissa, Chas and Johnny: are in demon proof spectator's booth

Marissa: WOOOOOOOOOOO!! throws popcorn KICK HIM IN THE FACE!!

Chas: Where'd Johnny go?

Marissa: What?

Chas: He's not in the booth!! How'd he get out!?

Marissa: I put in a kitty door in case he had to make a poo.

Chas: DAMN!! WHERE IS HE?! looks out of booth

John: Gets pinned down by posessed guy, his last ampule of holy water rolling out of his reach. DAMMIT!!

Johnny: walks up to holy water, clearly unafraid of possessed guy

Chas: JOHNNY!! COME BACK HERE!!

Johnny: picks up holy water and drops it in John's hand.

John: smashes ampule on possessed guy's head

Possessed Guy: AAAAAHHHHHHHHUNINTELIGABLEJARGANOFPAIN!! becomes unpossessed

Unpossessed Guy: Wow, thanks!

John: That'll be 400 dollars.

Everyone: walking back to cab

Chas: See, teaching him to fetch wasn't a waste of time.

Johnny: was a good plot device

Marissa: holding Johnny I think you have someone to thank John. hands John the cat

John: awkwardly holds the cat Uh... I don't think so.

Johnny: licks John's face

John: Ewwww! discusted face

Chas: Giggles Awww, he looks so cute holding the cat! Er, wait. No! THE CAT looks cute. Not John... yeah...

John: Someone else hold the cat!

Marissa: I will if you give me 10 dollars .

John: No! Get your own god damned money!

Marissa: writes in note "John gives Marissa 10 dollars."

John: gives Marissa 10 dollars Damn...

Chas: It's ok, I'll take the cat. takes cat

Marissa: I say we all go get some french toast!

Chas: LET'S DO IT!!