EPISODE 3

I PROMISE THAT THIS EPISODE IS FUNNIER THAN EPISODE 2!! The last episode wasn't as great as I wanted it to be, but I wanted a pet introduced and blah blah whatever. This one is MUCH FUNNIER I PROMISE!

Everyone: is sleeping

John: something is touching his ass Chasmmmsleepin... rolls over

Johnny: MRRRRROWWWWWWWW!! very loudly

John: AH! WHAT THE FUCK!!

Chas: AH!! WHAT!?

John: GET OFF OF ME YOU GOD DAMNED CAT!! picks up cat as if to throw him

Chas: JOHN NO!! Get a hold of yourself. He just wanted to sleep with you. takes cat

John: You're lucky I let YOU sleep with me, let alone that thing!

Marissa: storms in and throws a brick at John and exits

John: is unphased by the brick to the head Bitch. falls back asleep

Everyone: is walking home after an exorcim

Chas: Seriously John, you need to relax. You freak out way too easily.

John: You would be freaked out too if you woke up with a cat on your ass!

Chas: Sees something shiny Oooooooh! picks it up

Marissa: What are you doing?

Chas: Look what I found!

John: A pan of brownies?

Chas: Free brownies!! This is awesome!

Marissa: Ooooh! Gimme one!!

John: Don't eat them, you just found them on the ground!

Chas: Don't argue with destiny John. I was meant to find these brownies and take them home to be smothered in whipped cream.

Marissa: Oooooooooooh yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah... drools

Everyone: is at home

John: You're actually eating those?

Chas: Yup takes a bite Try one!

John: Um... I'd rather not.

Marissa: mouth full of brownie They're good!

John: No.

Chas: Marissa! Make him eat one!

Marissa: writes in note

John: No! can't control his arm NO NO!! arm shoves brownie in his mouth Mmmm... These are good.

SEVERAL MINUTES LATER

On TV: Spongebob Squarepants

Everyone: OMFGHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAXDXDXDHEEEEHAHAHAHA!! laughing like maniacs

Chas: Oh my god, hahaha! He's a sponge that talks!!

Everyone: cracks up

John: I love spongebob so much, I love hahahaha! I love him! I love him! I love, I love I love you Chas. You're like... I love... HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Chas: I love you too John heeheeeeeheee, I wanna have sex with you, like, all the time HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA XDXDXD!!

John: I like, love you so much man. I like, love you man! I love you!

Marissa: OH MY GOD!! I GOT IT!!

Chas: What?

Marissa: You know how they say don't put forks in the toaster?

John: Who says that?

Marissa: THEY!

Chas: Who's they?

Marissa: Uh... I don't remember HAHAHAHAHA. WAIT WAIT! But, they tell you not to put forks in the toaster cause you get shocked and then you turn into a WERETOASTER!!

John & Chas: HAHAHAHAHAHAXDXDXDXDXDAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!

Marissa: Seriously! During the day, you're just a dude, but then on a full moon you turn into a GIANT TOASTER AND YOU BREAK INTO PEOPLE'S HOUSES AND TOAST THEIR POP-TARTS!!

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Chas: Oh, pop-tarts? I want one! I'm hungry! We ate all the brownies! They were soooooooooooooooooooo good...

John: That's like, the smartest thing I've ever heard EVER! Like, FOREVER!! I love it! I love this cat! I love the cat! pets Johnny I totally love this cat, like, so much. I love him, he's the best cat, like... ever!

Chas: You, John you, you know you're, something's different. You're like, relaxed. I like you relaxed, see I told you when we were waking back from the place, that place. Uh... the exor place exor, exor...

John: Damn! I've got an exorcism in like, what time is it?

Marissa: Uh, hahaha, uh... like, uh, 3!

John: I have to soon, go to the, the place! Uh... where is it?

Chas: I know! I'll get us there, we'll be there faster than a rabbit that fell off a...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA... than a rabbit that... fast!

Everyone: after nearly avoiding several car accidents the Mary Jane crew make it to the exorcism

John: HAHAAHAHAHAHAAA!! Oh my god!! Look at it!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! refering to possesed child strapped to the bed

Chas: He's like, turning into a were toaster!!

Everyone: AAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAOMGWTFBBQ!!

Marissa: Dude, like, throw pop-tarts at him! Then he'll like, go away! HAHAHAHA!!

John: Oh my god! HAHAHAHA!! to worried mother of possessed child Do you, like, have any pop-tarts?

Mother: What? Yes? What do you need pop-tarts?

John: We need it cause, uh, there's a weretoaster in there!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Mother: weirded out Ok... brings pop-tarts

John: Oh my god, this is like, the best thing ever! Thank you soooooo much! I, like, love you so much! hugs mother

Mother: 0o

John: I got the pop-tarts!!

Marissa: Throw them at it!! It'll, like HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! Um, do, something!

Chas: Put a cross on it! It'll like, be uh... kill it?

John: Yeah! That's like, the best idea ever! I love pop-tarts so much! HAHAHA!!

Chas: Here, lemme see, carves a cross on the back of the pop-tart HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!! NOW IT'S UH, INDESTRUCTABLE!!

John: Oh my god yes! walks over to possessed child This is the best thing EVER! And now HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you, I love you and now you won't be a weretoaster. shoves pop-tart in the kid's mouth

Demon: is actually somehow deported by the cross on the pop-tart

Chas: Oh man! We did it! We saved the pop-tarts!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Marissa: mouth full of pop-tarts Woooooooooooooo!! I love this!!1

Mother: You saved him! Oh lord, thank you so much!

John: No, thank you! Because I love you! You're like, awesome, or something.

Mother: Thank you, you can leave now.

Everyone: got back to the apartment in one piece somehow

Chas: John, you ate the brownies that I ate. So it's like, we have the same thing inside of us. We're like, connected ya know? Like, our souls.

John: I totally get it man. That is so deep. I fucking love you man! I fucking love you so much! I just, you I love you.

Chas: I love you too man! But, she, uh, Marissa, the note she made us love each other.

John: No! The note is like, stupid. I love YOU man, and it's cause you're awesome! You like, read and stuff all the time. That's like, awesome.

Marissa: mouth full of oreos I should make you guys, like, do something crazy HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!! Like, make you go outside and have sex like, on the cab!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

John & Chas: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Oh my god, do it!!

Marissa: Ok, um Writes in note "Um, John and Chas totally go and have, lol, sex on the cab!"

John & Chas: Run outside

John: Pushes Chas up against the side of the cab and starts kissing his neck and sliding his hands up Chas' shirt.

Chas: moans and grinds against John

Marissa: watches out the window HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAAXD!!

John: Pulls off Chas' shirt and takes off his own.

Random people driving by: are beeping angrily

Cop Car: drives up

Cop: Hey you two! Take it inside!

John & Chas: don't notice and are both entirely nude.

Marissa: drowning in oreos HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHXDXDXD!! OH MAN! writes in note

Cop: I could have you arrested for indecent exposure! Get off of the street right- turns into a bag of Doritos

Marissa: runs outside AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! OH MY GAWD!! HAHAHAHAHAHXDXDXDOMGWTFBBQ!! eats police man Doritos

Chas: John! moans Harder! HARDER!

Marissa: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAXDXDXD falls on the ground HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAPFFFTHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGAAHAHAH!!

Everyone: wakes up nude in a river of Doritos, Fritos, Cheetos, Funions, Oreos and Chips Ahoy! Cookies.

John: What the fuck?

Chas: What happened?

Marissa: Reading Note Oh man! I made you guys have sex outside on the cab! HAHA!!

John: Oh fuck, I think you're right. Where's my fucking pants?

Chas: My ass is so sore... I think there might be a Cheeto in it.

Marissa: Hahaha! What was in those brownies and where can we get more?

John: NO! Never again!

To be Continued... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!