I do not own CSI. If I did, Warrick would still be alive, Sara would still be in Vegas and Grissom would never leave. Here is an update. Sorry so long between. Not much time to write. Most of you who gave an opinion on the ending would like a happy ending so keep the faith. I do have to say that I am enjoying Sara and Gil's new relationship. They are both growing and changing...even though they are already adults
"Wait...." Sara said with slight confusion, her spoon poised in the air "why would she say she hasn't had a kiss since '24 if they're married?"
He looked over at her, thinking for the millionth time how he loved her this way: relaxed, happy, simple. They lay on the bed, pillows stacked behind them as they watched an old black and white Twilight Zone; it was a show Sara could not seem to get enough of. "I think she is being sarcastic" He replied
"Oh..." She took another bite of the ice cream as the old man on the TV screen kissed his wife on the cheek "I didn't think they allowed that back then"
He smiled "What? Sarcasm?"
Another bite of ice cream "No, kissing. On TV"
"Yeah" He replied as he took her spoon for a bite of her chocolate layered snack "Pornographic..."
A few minutes of silence passed as Sara became completely absorbed in the program. He would steal glances at her occasionally; smiling to himself at her complete fascination with the story line as he made a mental note to file the moment away for later
Finally, just as the show was coming to an end she exclaimed "What? He died?...are you kidding me?"
"He's a ghost, Sara" He nodded at the TV, pointing out the story line they'd been watching for over ten minutes
"People don't come back as ghosts" She replied in disgust "So...they've been married for fifty years but he spends all of eternity with a dog?" She shook her head, putting her bowl on the nightstand as she flicked the TV off, looking over at him "I've seen that one before anyway"
Smiling, he moved closer to her, taking her hand as he lay his head on her shoulder. They lay like this for awhile as he play with her hand, intertwining their fingers as the comfortable silence surrounded them. "You ever get scared?" She asked after a deep breath "I mean...of all this?"
He was quiet, studying her long delicate fingers. "Do you?"
She sighed "Sometimes...it's just...it seems so overwhelming, you know? And it is so easy right now to push it all aside...not think about it but..." she shrugged. "Ignore the fact that in a few more weeks we're going to have a baby...a baby...but, every once in awhile I stop and really think about it and it just terrifies me"
"Well," He breathed, letting go of her hand to trace tiny circles around the bulge of her abdomen. "What are you most afraid of?"
She was thoughtful "Change?" She said with uncertainty "Everything is going to change for us, Gil. Our entire life, for the rest of our life...we're going to responsible for this little baby and...God...I just don't know how to do that"
Again, he was quiet. His index finger softly circling around the cloth over her belly button. "Honey, I don't think any parent really knows what they're doing" He said as he looked up at her "It's normal to have anxiety...
"Don't you ever get scared?"
"All of the time." He admitted "But I realize that people with children evolve, Sara. They grow along with their children. When you first have a tiny baby, you adapt to a new life involving that baby. It becomes routine, normal...before you know it the baby is a year old, or two....or sixteen...or twenty..." He paused as he resumed tracing his finger along her abdomen "You know that the more things change the more they stay the same. One day you wake up and realize that everything you have ever worried about is already happening, and it isn't as bad as you thought"
"You seem so calm and I am freaking out"
He looked at her again. "I am calm because even though I get scared, I realize that I would not trade where we are now or where we are going for anything else." He studied her a moment, scanning her eyes, her nose, her mouth "I am not saying I do not worry about what will happen; I wake up thinking about it sometimes. But it doesn't change the fact that I would not change a thing about this...The only thing I would change would be the way I treated you...if I had known what I know now, I probably would have swung you around the room in celebration...that is definitely what I'll do the next time"
She gave him a crooked grin "The next time?"
He snuggled against her again, his head safely on her shoulder "Yeah..." He murmured. "However we have to get married first. And build a house..." He lifted his head to kiss her softly "But I definitely...definitely...want there to be a next time"
Sara had just finishing stripping Gil's bed when she heard the doorbell ring. As soon as her 34th week check up was complete and they were pulling from the clinic's driveway, he informed her that he had decided to sale the townhouse. It was time, he said, to put his lonely past aside and quit trying to 'preserve' a memory of bachelorhood.
Sara, of course, had been thrilled. She knew how much he loved his townhouse, how disappointed he was that she would not move there with him and even though she felt a little guilty making him choose, she couldn't help but feel victorious in the battle of the houses. They had decided to put the money from the sale in savings, adding to it as their daughter grew so that they could build a new home together in a few years. To Sara, his decision cemented his commitment to her; sacrificing a place he could run away to when things got tough told her he had no intention of running away
Piling up the covers, she tossed them onto the floor as she made her way from the room. Everything had already been boxed up, piles of cardboard and newspaper scattered around the living room. Warrick and Greg had helped bring some things to storage while still other items moved to Sara's apartment, replacing some of her items that she sent to storage. Nick, still, was having difficulty being in the same room with Gil and all of Sara's lectures about 'getting over it' seemed to do little good.
Catherine had put Sara on a lighter schedule, having her work only 4 days per week on a strict 8-hours per day schedule; Sara hated it. But, having both Gil and Catherine signing off on the paperwork, she had bowed down gracefully once she realized she could not win the argument against the two CSI supervisors
Moving around the boxes in the front room, Sara made her way to the front door and pulled it open. Her stomach jumped into her throat at the sight of Heather Kessler
"Hello, Sara" Heather greeted "I was hoping to catch Gilbert here"
"Well, you caught me" Sara replied coldly
Heather scanned Sara's body as she had done months earlier, this time a strange curve playing on her lips "It appears I am not the only one"
Sara's hand went to her abdomen and she smiled, this time the emotion she was feeling was more one of pride than the humility she had felt the last time she had run into Heather. "Yeah...we're due in six-weeks"
"We?" Heather drawled "Gilbert a father? I think that is lovely"
"What do you want, Heather?"
"May I come in?"
"No"
Heather grinned with amazing charm "Do you not wish to speak to me?"
Sara shrugged "I honestly cannot think of any reason I would ever want to speak to you"
"You do not have any reason to hate me, Sara" She said, "I am no threat to you. After all, you are having Gilbert's child...I am just his friend"
"That's nice" Sara replied in a cool tone "But, Gil already has plenty of friends"
"You are jealous?" Again, Heather's eyes flicked Sara's appearance "Why would you be jealous of me?"
Sara did not respond, fighting the overwhelming urge to slam the door. As if sensing this, Heather continued "Before you close the door, just understand that Gilbert has loved you intensely for years; I have never stood a chance against you. If anyone should hate someone, it is I who should hate you."
"Then why do you keep coming around?" Sara asked with a hint of anger
"You might say that I have always been immensely curious about the woman holding onto his heart" Heather replied "However, he has always kept you hidden away like a rare piece of art...a prima donna, if you will...completely untouchable by the rest of the world"
Sara crossed her arms in front of her, holding her ground. "We met." She said simply "At the hospital? Did you forget?"
"Of course I did not forget" Heather replied, crossing her own arms "The minute you walked into the room I felt innately minuscule. And then when he walked in..." she shrugged "...not even a fool could have missed that you held his heart in your hand"
But he still spent the night Sara thought. "Look, Heather..." She began in a husky tone "I don't want to be rude..."
"The key to a successful relationship is foregoing all of the insecurities" She replied "As long as you are insecure about our relationship, you will never be secure in yours"
Sara stared at her a moment, lost in thought. Finally and with great reluctance she stepped aside and allowed Heather to enter the townhouse.
"Well, why didn't you just tell me?" Sara's voice said over the phone
"Would you have really listened?" He responded, shuffling the file on his desk
"Yes"
"No" He tossed the file aside, grabbing another one "All you ever heard when you heard the name Heather was sex. You never listened beyond the name"
"Fair" She replied "But I did have my reasons"
"No, you did not" He insisted, still not sure he was pleased about Heather's decision to 'make nice' with Sara despite his resistance. "I never gave you any reason to believe that there was anything between the two of us other than friendship."
"You stayed the night with her"
"You have stayed the night with Nick" he replied "I could suddenly develop an issue over that"
"That was years ago"
"That was last year"
"You're keeping track?"
"Wouldn't you?
She sighed. "Nick is like my brother. That isn't even the same"
"You still stayed the night. And he is not your brother so it is the same"
"He's my friend"
"And Heather is mine"
"Okay, fair enough." She sighed "You did not have to be so secretive about it"
"I am secretive about everything...it is my nature"
"You should not be secretive with me"
"I am not" He said simply "I just do not speak of these things"
"And therein lies the problem" She replied "When you do not say anything, sometimes it is easiest to assume"
"And when your assumptions are wrong?"
She sighed "Then you should still just talk to me....still, I am glad she came over"
"I am glad you did not kill her" He replied
"Well, we are not best friends" She said "But we do understand one another. And I am sorry I did not trust you"
He smiled slightly "I have told you, Sara, that sex without love is pointless and only sex with someone you love makes you happy...you are the only woman who has ever made me happy. It should not take a heart-to-heart with Heather to make you understand that"
She was quiet "I know"
"You should be sleeping"
"I know"
"I will be home in a few hours, Honey" He said softly "Get some sleep...."
"I will"
"Sara?" he said before she hung up "I love you"