When the next morning arrived and Alec woke up, Magnus was sitting in the arm chair staring at him. His head was leaning on his hand, his arm leaning on the armrest by the elbow, and his legs were crossed. Magnus sighed. "You're awake," he said, not exactly angry, but far from happy, too.
Alec blinked a few times, willing himself not to go back to sleep or give in to the headache softly, and then more demanding, pounding in his temples. He needed to talk to Magnus, needed to apologize – but the slowly increasing headache was making sure he could barely sit up. God, he shouldn't have had that much to drink. And without eating anything, it was much worse. Oh well, at least he hadn't thrown up. "Did you-" he started, but stopped and brought his hands to his head. The sound of his own voice rumbled inside his head, filling up his skull like it was trying to make it explode.
Magnus sighed again and got up. He was not in a good mood – but then again, who would be? Alec hadn't exactly been kind to him the night before, saying those awful things, storming out, and not coming back before 3am. He only knew what time it must have been, because he vaguely remembered that the bar closed at 2:30, and the bartender had to kick him out.
Before Alec realized what's happening, a soft hand was around his wrist, gently helping him up in a sitting position. Then he was handed a glass of water. He knew they don't have any pills, but he would kill for a few. He took a few sips, but having something cold sliding down his throat aches more than it softens the burn that he didn't know had been there. He must have been loud the evening before, at the bar. He knew it was karaoke night, but he didn't remember participating. Maybe he didn't, maybe he just cheered. Or maybe he did actually throw up, but doesn't remember it. He didn't know, and he didn't really care. He just wanted the headache and the burn to disappear.
"Better?" Magnus asked softly, and Alec looked up at him, standing by the bed. He had almost forgotten he was there, and even if he felt horrible, this beautiful man was standing in front of him, and right now, he would do anything he asked, anything to make him happy. Happy with him, at least.
Alec nodded, not without wincing in pain. Magnus sat down on the bed, in one side while Alec was lying in the middle. He hadn't realised it, but his lower body was covered by a duvet now, even if just a thin one and he also realized that his upper body was cold; almost shivering. Magnus must have covered him when he woke up and realised Alec was lying next to him, and Alec always tended to kick off all, or part of, the duvet in his sleep. It made him feel trapped, like he couldn't move.
"I'm sorry," Alec said, almost dropping the glass of water as he tried to bring both his hands back to his temples. It hurt so badly. But he somehow managed to keep the glass in one hand and only bring it halfway to his head, only spilling a few drops onto his lap. Magnus chuckled and reached forward, taking the glass out of his hand and sitting it on the nightstand. "I'm sorry," he tried again, managing not to wince this time. "I overreacted last night. Are you mad at me?"
Magnus shook his head slowly, taking his now free hand and gazing down at their hands. "No," he said softly, rubbing his hand gently with his thumb. "No, I'm not mad. I was just worried about you is all. I love you, and I'm not prepared to lose you again."
"You're not going to. I really am sorry. If I had been without you for three years, I would have done the same. It's just… For me it feels like I was just on my way home in the plane, fell asleep, and woke up here, in Toulouse. I've lost so much time with you, and I don't even know it. God, I- I'm so, so sorry."
Magnus looked up at him, bringing Alec to look at him too. His eyes were just as golden green as ever, except maybe a bit less vibrant and young now. He'd aged; maybe not a lot over the years long years they had spent together, but over the years without Alec, and it's so obvious Alec's heart aches, because he did that to the one person he would do absolutely anything for. "Stop saying you're sorry, baby. It's okay, it wasn't your fault. I came on too strong, anyway, giving you no choice but to snap at me. I just really didn't want you to be mad at me, because I just got you back and losing you again-"
"How many times will I have to tell you before you believe me? I'm not going anywhere; if you'll let me, I'll stay by your side forever. I just want you, Mags. Nothing else matters."
Magnus smiled and looked down at their hands again. Magnus' hands clean, like he had just washed them, and Alec's dirty from whatever he had been doing the night before. "Where did you go? Last night, I mean?" A thought jumped into his head. "And where's the car?"
Alec smiled a bit, looking out the window. He could see the almost empty parking lots; the Impala obviously not there. "I went to a bar almost right away. I had to get you out of my head. As you've probably noticed, I drank too much and ended up taking a cab home."
"Probably noticed? You don't even have a clue how bad your breath was, and right in my face, when I woke up."
Alec chuckled and smiled again."Sorry. I went to sleep staring at you. I guess I didn't move in my sleep."
"That's only a bit creepy."
"Maybe you got a bit older," Alec said, grinning up at him. "But you're still my number one celebrity crush."
"Celebrity even?"
"Models are celebrities. Kind of, anyway."
Magnus laughed, they kissed, and spent the next full hour with playful banter, telling each other how much they meant to each other, and a whole lot of kissing, and then they left to get the car.
"Hey, Magnus, I just wanted to-"
"Sorry, Magnus can't come to the phone. What's up, Iz?" Alec lied. The phone had been ringing when he got out the shower, Magnus just looking up at him. He said he had figured Alec could answer it and tell Isabelle he wasn't dead. There was a short silence on the other end.
"Who is this?" Her voice was hesitant. That wasn't that weird, though. Who wouldn't be hesitant if they heard their dead brother's voice on the phone?
"Alec. Who else was it going to be? Who else would Magnus be spending a week in a hotel room with?"
"Alec is dead."
"I'm not, though. I've been in a coma in Toulouse."
"Give the phone to Magnus," she said, and when he was about to tell her Magnus couldn't come to the phone again she interrupted before he got a word in. "I don't care if he can't come to the phone. Make him."
Alec sighed, handing the phone to Magnus. He hadn't really expected her to believe him, but still. Magnus took the phone, and talked to Isabelle, repeatedly saying, "No, I'm not kidding," and "He's real."
After a while, he hung up. Alec raised an eyebrow. "She didn't want to talk to me again?"
Magnus shook his head. "No, she was pretty… upset. I mean, who wouldn't be? But I thought she'd want to talk to you, too."
Alec nodded. "Can we go home today?"
Magnus looked over at him. "I guess, if you want. I guess it's time you see Lewis again, anyway."
Alec nodded and smiled. "Let's pack, then."
"We still have four hours left, sweetheart, just go back to sleep. You can go to sleep in the backseat if you want, there's better room."
Alec yawned. He didn't know Magnus had realised he woke up. He had fallen asleep about an hour after they had left the motel. "No, I'll just push the seat back, it's easier." He reached back to get to the handle, pulled it, and suddenly the back of the seat was lying down. He lay there, staring up for a while; he couldn't sleep.
"Why did you come to Toulouse, Mags? I mean, you thought I was dead, so why bother?" He asked. He hadn't realised it, but it had been nagging in the back of his mind for a while now. Why would Magnus go on a six hour drive to see someone he knew was dead?
Magnus shrugged slightly and glanced over at him. "Mostly to tell whoever was making fun of you to fuck off. But maybe I somehow hoped it was you, even though I knew it couldn't be. I missed you so much, and if there was even the slightest chance to see you, I would take it."
Alec nodded softly and yawned again. He was completely drained for energy, but he didn't know how to fall asleep. Then he smiled as he remembered something that always worked. "Will you sing me to sleep?"
He saw Magnus grin at him before Alec closed his eyes, shifting his weight so he was comfortable enough to fall asleep. "Does it matter what I sing?"
Alec shook his head without looking at him. "Not one bit."
There was a silence for a minute or two before Magnus started singing.
"Couldn't believe it when I heard it
It was enough to make a heartbeat stop
Reminded me of the uncertain and love that we've lost
I know I took our hearts for granted
I never thought the sun would fail to rise
How am I to understand this all on my own
If I knew it'd be the last time
I'd try a little harder
Make that goodbye last a little longer
Would've held you just a little stronger
If I, I knew it'd be the last time
You know you never see it coming
Time always finds a way to pass us by
But I still feel you all around me when I close my eyes
All the flowers on the side walk and every single tear that we cried
How I wish that I could change it and bring you back tonight
If I knew it'd be the last time
I'd try a little harder
Make that goodbye last a little longer
Would've held you just a little stronger
If I, I knew it'd be the last time
So Alec, lay your head down
I'll be right beside you
So Alec, close your eyes now
I'll be right behind you
Couldn't believe it when I heard it
It was enough to make a heartbeat stop
If I knew it'd be the last time
I'd try a little harder
Make that goodbye last a little longer
Would've held you just a little stronger
If I, I knew it'd be the last time
I'd try a little harder
Make that goodbye last a little longer
Would've held you just a little stronger
If I knew, I knew it'd be the last time."
By the time Magnus stopped singing, there was a faint sound of snoring from Alec's seat. Alec had fallen asleep while he was singing, just like he always did. But he, Magnus himself, he had to fight not to cry. It was a song he had listened and sung along to hundreds of times since Alec's 'death', and just because Alec was back, that didn't change the memories.
He sighed, wiped away the tears and kept driving. Getting Alec back to their apartment might make him realise that those three years didn't matter, and that Alec being back was all that mattered now.
And when they got home to the apartment, and he somehow got Alec to himself without Lewis, he would have to ask Alec what those scars on his legs were. Because they looked a whole lot like something he didn't want to think about Alec going through.
AN: Fourth chapter guys!
Sorry it took so long - I've been busy with school, work, the TMI movie coming out and all that. So I hope you don't mind too much. Well, busy plus the fact that I only got one review last chapter, so I kind of didn't feel like it was that good, and so I didn't really feel like writing too much.
The song Magnus sings is If I Knew by Every Avenue, not mine, but one of my favorite songs, and with the name changed from Lauren to Alec.
Other than that, I don't think there's a lot to say, really. I hope you liked it, and I'll try to update sooner next time.
Review and tell me what you thought!
Lea