"I need to talk to you about yesterday," Magnus said. He was standing by the sink, doing the dishes, and Alec was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He had asked Magnus if he needed help, but Magnus had insisted he would be fine and that Alec should just sit down and relax.

"I figured as much," Alec said and took a sip of his coffee. He had dreaded this talk since he woke up this morning, and he had left before Magnus woke up because of it. Nevertheless, he knew he couldn't run from it forever.

"What, exactly, did he say to you?" Magnus asked. He didn't take his eyes off of the mug he was washing, but it was clear he wasn't paying attention to it. He had been washing the mug far longer than it needed, but he was continuously missing the one coffee stain on the handle.

"He said that I broke you," Alec said. He cleared his throat. "That I broke the family and that me coming back wasn't going to change that."

Magnus was quiet for a moment before he spoke. "You know that's not true, Alexander," he finally said in a quiet voice.

"Do I?" Alec asked. "It sounds very possible to me."

"Maybe it does, but it's not-"

"He also said you'd changed," Alec interrupted him. "How have you changed, Magnus? What did you do?"

Magnus stilled in his movements and bit his lip. He didn't say anything for a moment, and put the mug down into the sink again. He took a hand towel and dried off his hands before he spoke. "I haven't been the greatest parent for the last few years," he finally said quietly. "I know I told you I've been there for him, but I was so afraid that if I told you the truth, you wouldn't want me anymore."

"Why would you think that?" Alec asked quietly and paused for a second. "What did you do?"

Magnus hesitated before speaking. "I'd send him to Jade's, ask her mother to take him for way too long," he started. "Sometimes even weeks. And I'd go out every night, drink too much and bring random guys home, and I'd throw parties and he'd come home from Jade's while I was having them and I didn't even end them, or the day after and I'd be passed out on the couch. I don't know what I was thinking, I was just so …"

"Broken," Alec finished for him. His voice nearly broke in the middle of the word. He was looking down into his coffee and biting his lip.

Magnus cleared his throat. "Yes," he said. "But Alec, I was just-"

"You were mourning," Alec said. "I know that. But when did you stop?" Magnus didn't say anything to that. "I'm going to assume that means 'when you got the call from the hospital.' Doesn't it?"

"I'm sorry," was all Magnus said.

"How could you do that?" Alec asked. "How could you just ignore him? He's our son!"

"And you're my husband," Magnus said and turned around and looking into Alec's eyes. "And I lost my husband, I'm allowed to mourn-"

"Of course you were allowed to mourn," Alec said looking over at him. "But not if it means you ignore our son and sleep with random guys every night."

"If you could just understand what I've been through-"

"I do understand what you've been through," Alec said. "But regardless of what you've been through, we have a son. And he is the most important thing in the world. You have responsibilities." With that, he got up from the chair and moved to exit the kitchen. Magnus moved to follow him, but Alec held up his hand as a sign for him to stop. "I just need a minute." Then he left the kitchen and went to the bedroom and sat on their bed. He hid his face in his hands and rubbed harshly at his eyes. He wasn't crying, not even close to crying. He was just so god damn tired, and he didn't know what to do about it.

Magnus stood in the kitchen for a few moments after Alec had left, unsure of what to do with himself. He picked at his nail polish – black with sparkles – and just stood there. Then, finally, he snapped out of it, and walked into Lewis' bedroom. Lewis was in his bed playing with his phone. He hadn't gotten up yet.

"Good morning," Magnus said as he walked into his room and sat on the edge of his bed.

Lewis looked up at him and sat up. "Morning," he said. His voice was still a bit rough from sleep. He put his phone down next to him on the mattress.

"So, is there anything you'd like to say?" Magnus asked, looking angrily at Lewis.

Lewis looked down into his lap where he now had his hands. "I'm sorry I said those things to dad yesterday," he finally said.

"And why don't we say things like that to people?" Magnus said with his best parenting voice. It wasn't very good. Not that it mattered.

"Because it hurts their feelings," Lewis said quietly.

"And why don't we want to hurt people's feelings?" Magnus asked.

"Because we wouldn't like it if they hurt our feelings," Lewis answered.

"And what are you going to do now?"

Lewis was quiet for a second and didn't look up. He sighed. "Go apologize to dad," he finally said.

"That's right," Magnus said. "Off you go." Then he stood up and left the room to let Lewis get dressed. He sat in the living room where Lewis would have to go through in order to get to the master bedroom, where Alec was. Just to make sure he actually did it.

There were a couple knocks on the door before it was opened, and Alec had expected it to be Magnus. He was halfway through thinking about what he could say to make him leave again so he could just have some peace when he saw Lewis standing in the door opening.

"Hey," Alec said, looking at him. He didn't know what else to say. He didn't exactly feel like the best parent at the moment.

"Hey," Lewis said. He wasn't looking at Alec – he was looking at his feet. He was quiet for what felt like an hour, but it was probably only a couple minutes. "I'm sorry about what I said to you yesterday."

"You were just being honest," Alec said. He looked away and bit his lip. He wanted to say something more, anything, but he was afraid that he would just ruin things even more, so he didn't say anything else.

"I shouldn't have said those things," Lewis said. His hand was still on the door's handle, and he was grabbing around it, squeezing it. He just wanted to leave, it was obvious.

"It's okay," Alec said. "It's fine. You don't have to worry about it."

Lewis was silent for a few moments. He wanted to say something more, but he wasn't sure if he should. "Are you and dad fighting again?" he finally asked.

Alec sighed and closed his eyes. He shook his head lightly. "No," he said quietly. "We're fine. We just need some … adjusting. You don't have to worry about it."

"Okay," Lewis said.

"Now, why don't you go watch a movie or something with dad?" Alec suggested. "I'd like to be left alone for a bit. Can you tell him that?"

Lewis just nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Alec sighed and let himself fall backwards onto the bed. He looked up into the ceiling. How was he ever going to leave them? He loved them. But he wasn't doing them any good by being with them. And what if Magnus fell back into the way he had been while Alec had been in a coma?

He just didn't know what to do anymore.

AN:

I'm not even going to try and explain. Just ... Sorry.

Review if you like.

Lea