It had been a month since the incident, and Nathan had still not spoken about it with her. He had been acting like nothing had happened. As if it didn't affect him. Haley had cried on his shoulder so many times, but he had remained emotionless.

"I'm really worried about him." Peyton sighed, "It's not healthy for him to keep it all in. It scares me; he's been emotionless since the day he walked out of the room after watching... the tape," She mumbled awkwardly.

It was still an emotional topic, they still got teary eyed thinking about the tape, and they still couldn't believe Brooke could be really gone.

Haley nodded, before ending the conversation and throwing the phone back in her purse. She took a deep breath before softly knocking on the door. She didn't hear any reply, but let herself in anyways. And just as she thought, there Nathan sat, leaning against the headboard on his bed, his headphones in his ear, and looking as lost and helpless as ever.

Haley sat at the foot of his bed. Like always, Nathan ignored her. But unlike before, she didn't leave this time. She took out his headphones, and kneeled down in front of him, taking his hands in hers.

"Nathan, please talk to me," she whispered, her eyes tearing up already.

Nathan stared into her eyes, not saying anything.

Haley stared into his eyes, trying to read them. She could always read his eyes before, but now they were emotionless.

"Lucas is in the hospital again." She informed.

After the news of Brooke's death, Lucas had had a relapse, and was in and out of the hospital.

When Nathan didn't respond, Haley sighed, "Nathan please just let me in... please? Nathan you're not alone, we're all hurting, but we got to mourn together. We all loved Brooke, we're all still in pain, but it makes it easier when we can cry together. You haven't spoken to anyone since that day. I don't get it. I want to be let in. I love you Nathan, and I'm not going to let you do this to yourself, or to me."

Nathan looked away from her, reaching for his headphones again.

"Damnit Nate!" Haley snapped, pulling the headphone away, "Snap out of this trance and talk to me," she begged.

When Nathan didn't reply, in pure frustration Haley slapped him hard across the cheek.

She gasped, "I can't believe I did that, I'm so sorry,"

"I loved her." Nathan whispered, a tear escaping his eyes as he hung his head low.

Haley felt like she had been the one slapped. She had waited so long for him to talk, she had yearned to hear his voice again, but now, she'd rather he hadn't.

"What are you saying Nathan," she asked, heartbroken.

"I'm sorry Haley. But I really loved her." He confessed, tears pouring out of his eyes now.

Haley didn't know what to say. She wanted to just run away, and not be having this conversation, but instead, she put her arms around him comfortingly, as he broke down crying. She had never seen him like this, and it kind of scared her. He was so vulnerable and weak in her arms that it broke her heart. Even though it hurt like hell to hear him admit to loving another girl, she knew she had to be there for him. She had kind of always known. He hadn't been the same when he had given her another chance, and his feelings for Brooke had seemed so real all those times she had seen them together. A selfish part of her wanted to ignore it so she could still have him. And now, she couldn't leave him like this. He was finally letting it all out; she had to be his support.

"I'm so sorry Brooke," he whispered, "Please forgive me, I'm just so sorry,"

Haley felt a tear pool around her eye, as she ran her hand up and down his back soothingly. "It's okay Nathan, it wasn't your fault."

"I was so harsh Haley; I was so horrible to her," he sobbed silently, burying his head in her hair.

After a while, Nathan finally pulled himself together, "What does this mean for us?" he asked Haley pitifully.

Haley smiled sadly, taking off her ring and looking down at it. "It means I'm always going to be there for you Nathan, whenever you need me."

"I do love you Hales," Nathan muttered.

"I know, and I'm going to wait for you. You take all the time you need and want." Haley whispered, wiping away a tear that threatened to drop, before taking his hand and putting the ring in it, "I'll always wait for you Nate,"

Nathan felt a tear slide down his cheek, as he watched Haley let herself out of his room.

Nathan lay back on his bed, his mind going back to the girl that wouldn't leave him alone. She was all he ever thought about, the memories she had given him haunted him in his asleep.

I love you too Brooke

We love each other Brooke! I love you more than I've ever loved anyone before, I love you with my whole heart, and I know you love me too

Will he be able to love you the way I do?

Will you be able to live the rest of your life without me?

…

After today, you stay the hell away from me. Today, I'm officially done with you.

Let's pretend none of this shit ever happened

Nathan gulped down the knot forming in throat.

You think that by leaving Lucas, I would decide to leave Haley too; well I won't, so forget about it

I don't want to be with you, and I don't care about any of this drama you're trying to create again. That's why I want to be with Haley, she is everything you're not!

Well I wasn't stupid, because I rejected you, and made the smarted decision anyone could've ever made. Haley is the type of person I want to be with, not a drama queen like you.

Nathan felt tears sting the inside of his eyelids.

I don't want Tree Hill's slut, so stop trying to interfere in my life

Nathan clenched his jaw, feeling hatred towards himself.

I mean, who knows how you're in bed, but it must be good, since that's all people want from you right. One night with Brooke when you feel horny, next day, go back to the girl you love.

Nathan shut his eyes tight, willing his tears to stay in.

Just get the hell out of my life; I wouldn't give two shits if I never saw you again.

A sob escaped his lips, "Brooke!" he pleaded, "I'm so sorry. I love you so much, I'm so sorry."

He struggled off the bed and threw open his drawer, pulling out the picture of them on the beach, when Brooke had jumped on his back. She had been smiling mischievously, while he had beamed back at her.

Nathan smiled at the picture, and would give everything to make things go back to that day. Just him and Brooke, which was also the day she had asked him out. He could still see her, standing in front of him, nervously fidgeting with her shorts as she boldly asked him out.

Nathan felt his heart hurt. He longed to have Brooke in his arms, to hold her close and kiss her as he pleased.

But he deserved it. After all the pain he had given her, all the grief, she had ended her life. He had killed her. He had killed his Brooke Davis. He gave her so much pain, she couldn't take it. She punished him by taking herself away completely. She punished him with a life without her.

Just get the hell out of my life

I wouldn't give two shits if I never saw you again.

Nathan laughed bitterly. Little did he know that day, that he really would never see her again. She would take his harsh words so seriously, that he would regret them all his life.

At times, when he felt the pain was too unbearable, he wanted to follow in Brooke's steps and give up on life. He felt like he didn't have anything to live for anymore.

Without Brooke, he wasn't anything. He couldn't live a life without her; he couldn't be the old Nathan anymore.

But the truth was, a tiny part of him didn't believe Brooke was really gone. The only thing that kept him alive was the hope that Brooke was going to come back to him any day now. Her body was never found, and he will always hope until it was.

With that, he'll keep living.

A/n I'm so sorry TIMES 100000 ! I haven't updated in the longest time for two reasons.

I was vacationing in another country for all of August,

My computer wasn't working. I got a new one last weekend.

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, Nathan feels bad for all the shit he said to Brooke. It's been a month, and no Brooke? Nathan believing Brooke's still alive-foreshadowing? Who knows. Don't give up hope, and please review, even if you guys are still mad at me for the long delay –so Sorry again !