A few months later...
"You can't keep doing this to Haley, it's not fair to her," Lucas reasoned, a hint of frustration in his voice.
They both sat at Nathan's porch steps.
Nathan sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I know, but what can I do?"
"She's still waiting for you Nathan. You do have feelings for her don't you? I mean, if you don't then let her go. She's still holding on to the hope of you guys getting together, because you told her you still loved her,"
"I do... but how can I be with her when I can't get Brooke out of my head. Like everything I do, I think about her. I eat cereal, and I remember when she use to come to my house in the mornings and eat breakfast with me. I pull on a sweater and I think about the time she ran from my house..." Nathan trailed off, realizing Lucas was her boyfriend at that time.
Lucas noticed and looked away from him, "It's okay. I guess I kind of always knew she had feelings for you, but I was selfish and looked past it. I'm sorry that I came in between you guys," Lucas muttered, "I didn't know how much she loved you until I saw the... um the video,"
Nathan cringed slightly, "It was all my fault Lucas, I was such a bastard to her. I'm sorry," he whispered, more to himself then Lucas.
Lucas shook his head, "Haley feels at fault as well. You stayed with her because you didn't want to hurt her, and rejected Brooke, which made her..." Lucas shook his head, trying to keep from tearing up.
"No, it wasn't her fault," Nathan stated, "Why would she blame herself, it was not her fault. It was all mines." Nathan clutched his head in frustration, "I wish I could move on Lucas, I don't want to hurt Haley, I don't want her to waste her life waiting for me. I do love her, and I just... I don't know what to do. What if I still can't stop thinking about Brooke, that isn't fair to Haley, I did that to her before, but how can I do that again,"
Lucas smiled sadly, an image of Brooke's smiling; dimpled face came into his mind, "I know what you mean. I really loved her man," Lucas whispered.
"I did too," Nathan breathed out sadly.
"We've both treated her badly. I've hurt her so much in the past years, little did I know that one day she'd just be gone you know. I had taken her for granted for so long, and when I lost her, I forced myself on her again. I hurt her, and pushed her away so far, and then I forced her to come back. I didn't know how badly I've been hurting her. When she wanted me, I went for her best friend, and when she didn't, I just had to be with her," Lucas muttered remorsefully.
Nathan stared ahead, not really looking at anything. He looked so lost and alone that Lucas felt bad for him.
"I never really understood her. I always misunderstood her, and never let her explain. I would believe something else, and treat her so horribly. All the stuff I've said to her, you don't know man, I've said some cruel shit to her. No one deserves to be treated like that. I hurt the girl I loved, and was punished so harshly. I don't even get another chance..."
Lucas put a hand on Nathan's shoulder, "Nathan, but you do get another chance to be in love and loved back. You have a great girl waiting for you. Who loves you more than anything, you get another chance to be with her. Who knows, maybe you two were meant to be together you know. You're lucky Nathan, even after everything, she still wants to be with you. You have someone you've always had love for waiting for you. You don't have to spend the rest of your life mourning. I miss Brooke a lot, but I know she wouldn't want anyone to be sad for the rest of their life over her. She would want us to be happy. She would want us to move on." Lucas said sincerely, "Brooke will never ever be forgotten," Lucas added with a sad laugh, "No one could forget her. But we can keep her in our hearts, and move on."
Nathan shut his eyes tightly, nodding.
Lucas was right. Even though his heart would never believe Brooke was really gone, he couldn't spend his life like this. He couldn't let Haley spend her life waiting for him. He has to move on, even though he doesn't feel like he's ready.
"Thanks Lucas," he whispered.
"Hey guys,"
They looked up to see Haley walking up the driveway nervously.
Lucas leaned up to give her a quick hug, "Hey Hales," he greeted before getting up, "I think I'll leave you two alone,"
"No wait, you don't have to," Haley protested, not sure if she wanted to be alone with Nathan.
"Haley we need to talk," Nathan interrupted, letting Lucas go.
"Um alright," Haley muttered, taking a spot next to him on the steps.
"I haven't seen much of you for the past few months,"
Haley nodded, "Uh, I know, I've just been-..."
"You've been avoiding me," Nathan interrupted hurt, "And that hurts a lot because I don't want to lose you Hales. You're my best friend, and I've felt so alone, I really needed you with me."
"I'm so sorry Nathan," Haley whispered sincerely, turning to see Nathan's misery.
"I wanted to be there for you. But it's so hard. I'm part of the reason Brooke-..."
"Don't. Haley you have no blame in that. So please just don't."
Haley sighed, "I love you Nathan, and I'm sorry I avoided you for the past few months. I've been so miserable the whole time. It's just, I thought if I didn't see you so much, it would get easier."
"Haley, I do want to be with you, but I'm scared. I don't want to hurt you again. I don't want to make you miserable, by being miserable myself. I don't want to spread my misery to you because you're the last person who deserves it. You're so great to me, how can I make you sad."
Haley put her arms around Nathan, "I want to share your pain. I want to take some of your misery away. I love you Nathan, and I want to be with you. I know it's going to take time for you to get back to normal, and I'll be patient. And I think that maybe I can help you heal."
"And then I met you, and it was so different between us, there was teasing, flirting and everything... and then I fell for you, without even noticing I was ever falling. Our date, it was so wonderful, it was so perfect, I don't know how to explain, but I love you Nathan,"
When you went to Haley, my heart broke in so many pieces that you'll never know. You don't know what you did to me, I felt more pain then I could ever tell you, I couldn't bare the thought of you and her together, of you being with her. But I knew how happy it made Haley, and so I stayed away, and kept with Lucas. But I never thought you'd decided to marry her again."
"And I can't let that happen, I can't lose you,"
"Do you still love me?"
"And I can't let that happen, I can't lose you,"
"Do you still love me?"
Nathan shut his eyes tightly, leave me alone, he demanded, stop torturing me Brooke. I'm sorry for what I did, but please stop it.
Nathan looked down at Haley's caring face.
It's time for me to move on.
He leaned down and kissed her.
But it wasn't the same...
A/N Moving fast eh? Months are flying by. But who knows. Is Brooke really gone? Or will she come back? Nathan's moving on with Haley, but will he really be able to move on? R&R