Redemption

Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine.

A/N: Hopefully, this long chapter will help explain some OOC traits you've been seeing. A lot of pregnant women, like my version of Kel, have butt-kicking mood swings until they deliver. Sometimes they want to be left alone and then the next minute their libido goes into overdrive. It's very unpredictable. Anyway, there's more plot and character development, but no real fluff here. Sorry! ;D

"I don't think I want to bed anyone, Mama. We were just kissing, that's all."

"Kissing may lead to more serious thing, my darling," Ilane said, cupping Kel's cheek in one cool, long-fingered hand. "A girl may be carried away. It's not always love. Lust may feel wonderful enough to be mistaken for love."

"I just want my shield," Kel whispered. "I'll deal with the rest later. The - complications."

-- Tamora Pierce, Squire

Bloodlines

While Joren sealed the messages announcing their elopement to certain important people, including his mother and General Vanget, Kel stood in the center of the grand foyer of the townhouse and took a good look around her. Dark, polished wood paneling lined the surface of every wall. All of the furnishings were as elegant as the ones in the castle at Stone Mountain. Above the marble hearth at the end of the dining room, there was a large painting which showed Joren as a beautiful little boy with his parents, Lord Burchard and Lady Virryn in their younger days. At that very moment, Kel truly comprehended that she had just married into one of the oldest and wealthiest families in all of Tortall. She started to feel slightly queasy again.

There was an ornately-framed mirror hanging on one of the walls and Kel stared at her reflection. She observed that her tall athletic frame still appeared to be fairly trim and fit. She was not wearing any face paint because it was so hot outside, but her cheeks had a naturally rosy tint from her higher body temperature. Kel had trimmed her sun-lightened, brown hair after the last caravan, so it was quite short. When she had decided to stay with her parents for the week, she also had planned to wear mostly shirts and breeches. Kel had packed only two dresses - the dress she wore for her elopement and the one she was wearing now. She looked down at her simple, light brown summer dress and she felt almost homely and out-of-place. Lalasa always pleaded with Kel to let her adorn Kel's dresses with fancier trim and more lace and such, but Kel had never seen the need for all of that. Now Kel wished she had paid more attention to the feminine aspects of her life.

Joren came out of the library and walked down the hall to where Kel was standing and wrapped his arms around her as he had done earlier when they chatted with Aron in the kitchen. He was wearing an unadorned, light gray tunic with a white shirt and white hose, but he still looked very handsome. Somehow, Kel thought, Joren could wear a potato sack and still manage to look elegant. She couldn't see what it was that Joren found so attractive about her. They both looked at each other in the mirror's reflection.

"You're beautiful, Joren," Kel said and her voice sounded like she was very far away. ""You've ... always been beautiful. I ... am ... I am not like you." "Joren, we don't belong together. We are together, but it's all wrong. Just look at you. I feel like a ... like a cow standing next to you."

Joren's smile faded and a dark look came into his eyes. He held Kel tighter and said, "Don't say that! Never say that! I've hated being called 'beautiful' ever since I was a young boy. You have no idea how unbearable it was for me to know that people thought of me as being 'pretty.' My own grandfather once told me that it might have been better if I had been born a girl because my beauty would have attracted betrothal offers from the finest families in Tortall. I begged the gods for my whiskers to grow in early so that the comments would stop. Why do you think I wear a beard now?" "I am not beautiful! Don't you dare start calling me that, too!"

Kel remembered a fight in the stables back when they were pages. It was a fight that began when Neal mentioned something about Joren as being "so pretty" and Garvey being friends with him because of it. She thought it had been a fight over her virtue due to other comments Joren's cronies made. Never before had Kel considered that Neal's remark actually could have hurt Joren. She just thought he felt offended back then.

"I'm ... sorry, Joren," Kel apologized. "I didn't realize it bothered you. You've always worn your hair so long and ... well ... may I just say that your hair is beautiful?" She smiled at his reflection. "Sorry, Joren, but you look like you want people to notice your appearance. I still think you're a bit vain, but I suppose I would be vain, too ... if I looked liked you."

Joren smile almost looked sad when he said, "Fine - but only my hair. Promise me, Kel - don't start off calling our sons beautiful, even if they are. I want them to have a different kind of life than the life I had growing up. Please ... don't call them beautiful." "Growing up is hard enough. They don't need that extra torment."

Kel nodded her agreement to Joren's plea. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the reflection of the Stone Mountain family portrait. She closed her eyes against the thoughts flooding back into her mind. This was her family now, and she knew so little about them. She knew so little about how to be the type of wife people would expect Joren to have. Kel successfully fought back her tears of frustration.

"Kel, what's wrong?" Joren did not like the look on her face. "Should I fetch Aron?" "I wonder what's happened. Why do you look so ... worried?"

"No, I'm ... fine." Kel fibbed. She continued to stare at their reflection as she spoke. "It's just that ... my mother always lectured my sisters about their ... duties and responsibilities as noble wives. She left me alone because ... because we never thought I would be in the same position as my sisters. Joren, I ... I loved our time together as husband and wife this morning. But you need to know that I am completely unprepared to be your Lady - the Lady of Stone Mountain. I don't know if I can do all of this the way it's supposed to be done. I don't know how to be a proper lady of the manor! I never wanted a title other than Lady Knight." "And I certainly never wanted or imagined that this would become my life."

Joren's heart sank. It was just what he had feared - Kel did not love him, yet. She merely was 'doing her duty as a wife' and Joren inwardly cursed Kel's overdeveloped sense of honor. He could see it in her eyes - she was considering all the aspects of their married life the same way she would approach a battle plan or a training exercise. She saw all the obstacles and possible points of ambush in their future social and home life together. Kel wanted be as good a wife as she was a knight, but it was not because she loved him, rather it was because it was now part of her mission in life. Joren released his hold on Kel and dropped his arms down to his sides.

"Kel ... none of that matters ... to me," Joren's voice was tight. "I simply want you to love me and to love our children. The rest is just ... well, don't worry about it right now, I'm sure that my mother ..."

"Your mother!" Kel whirled around to face Joren and she looked angry. Joren took a step back. "Do you mean the woman who ... who did this to us? The one who did this to me?" And she gestured at her belly. "I know I said I would forgive her, but I don't know if I can be in the same room with her yet."

Joren put his hands up at his sides in a gesture of surrender. Aron had warned him that pregnant women could be quite moody at times and Joren figured this must be one of those times. He tried to make his voice sound soothing. "Alright Kel ... let's leave now so that you will have more time to talk to your own mother. That's probably the best thing to do, anyway. Are you ready?" "Ouch! I had better send my mother another message to warn her to be on her best behavior when we return. I know she's overcome with joy that her plans are working out, but the Chamber was correct - my mother's most desired dream has become Kel's most feared nightmare."

"No, I'm not ready." Kel was still fuming. "But I don't get to make many more choices now, do I? There are rules and customs, Joren, and I have to figure out how to follow them now." "You just don't understand! Men have it so easy; it's not fair at all! If I was with Dom, none of this would be necessary, but no, I'm with you and your cursed title, and all the obligations ... Gods! What have I done to deserve this complicated mess?"

"Calm down, Kel," Joren sounded worried. "You ... we ... don't have to figure it out right at this moment. Let's just go to your parents' house and hope for the best. We can talk about the other issues later." "Much later. I truly don't care about rules and customs right now. I just want you to love me, Kel."

Joren finally guided Kel through the door and out onto the cobblestone street. It was a balmy summer evening and Kel's parents did not live far from Joren's house, so they had decided to walk. Along the way, Joren pointed out several familiar family properties, such as the Naxen and the haMinch town homes. Kel noticed the grandeur of the stately houses. Her parents' home would seem quite modest compared to the homes in this part of the Palace District. Kel rarely gave any thought to bloodlines and social status, but the shock of her realizing the full impact of who she had married forced her to think about all of that now. She felt queasier, and it wasn't just because of being pregnant.

Baron Piers of Mindelan fixed his stony hazel eyes on Joren's somber face. They had finished dinner and were seated in Sir Piers' office in the townhouse. Kel and her mother, Lady Ilane had gone upstairs to talk separately. Sir Piers was not sure what to make of the tall blond man sitting across from him. His lasting memory of this Lord Joren of Stone Mountain was from his trial, when he had sneered at the judge and spit on the courtroom floor to show his disgust toward Kel and all she stood for. It was difficult for the short, stocky man to believe that this very wealthy, very spoiled lord could have changed so much. It was horribly confusing to him that his daughter actually married the man. Part of him wanted Joren to tell him the real reason for the quick elopement, but the other part was fairly certain he already knew the reason - and he was angry at the young lord.

Joren watched as Kel's father spread out on his desk the three personal letters Joren had sent to him over the past few months. Joren paled when he saw them. This was the trouble he had expected and he hoped for the right words to say to prevent his new father-in-law from killing him. Joren's gaze did not waver from Piers' face. He saw where Kel got her looks, especially her hazel eyes, her cool demeanor and her ability to keep a Yamani blank face. Kel's father was the ultimate diplomat.

"Lord Joren, I cannot adequately express my shock at receiving the message last night about your elopement with Keladry." Sir Piers began to speak in a calm, almost soothing tone of voice. "But I do appreciate your desire to include us in the actual ceremony. My wife is especially grateful for being allowed to witness the wedding of our youngest daughter. Your vows were particularly impressive. Do you recognize these letters?"

"Yes, Sir Piers," Joren replied. "I believe they are the letters I sent to you, requesting your consideration of a betrothal between Kel ... Keladry and me." "So far, so good. There are no visible weapons, anyway."

"I will be honest with you, sir," Piers continued. "I did not expect to hear from you again after my initial reply to your inquiry. The fact that you continued to write to me in the face of certain rejection is a testament to your persistence. The fact that you are still alive and sitting in this room with me is a testament to the faith I have in my daughter's judgment. Tell me, when did my daughter become pregnant? You are the father, yes?"

Joren gulped and was silent for a moment while he maintained solid eye contact with the older man. He cleared his throat and said, "I truly love Keladry with all my heart, sir. I would die for her. As to your question, sir, I believe it happened when we were together on the night of the spring equinox." "Mithros help me! How did he know?"

Piers continued as though he had read Joren's thoughts. "I have five daughters and four sons. This is not the first time my family has endured this type of situation. Kel worked extremely hard and she made tremendous sacrifices to be where she is today. I do not believe that my youngest daughter is well-suited to the lifestyle of a lace-tatting lady of the manor. What sort of lifestyle do you plan to have with Kel?"

"Baron Piers, I want Kel to be happy." Joren answered. "I accepted responsibility and apologized for the things I did and the way I treated Kel in the past. She forgave me, sir. Kel even helped me to recover my fighting skills after I got back on my feet. I have fought side by side with your daughter, sir, and she is indeed the finest knight I know. If Kel wants to be like Alanna the Lioness and continue to serve the realm as a knight, I will support her decision. Tortall needs her sword. I can afford to hire more staff to run my household, so that Kel would not be saddled with those responsibilities. I would only ask that she, like the Lioness, take some time off from her duties as a knight when our children are very young." "Gods! This is almost as bad as being in the Chamber of the Ordeal. I hope he believes me and that he accepts my answers, or else I'm going to die tonight."

"Lord Joren, I know that your parents were both very, very conservative." Piers narrowed his eyes slightly and asked, "Does Lady Virryn approve of and accept Kel as your wife?"

"Sir, my mother sees Kel as an important part of the future of Stone Mountain." Joren answered confidently. "My mother is not concerned with the past, or with her former viewpoint, especially since my father's death. She most definitely desires Kel to be my wife." "Please don't ask for any details, sir. You definitely won't like what you hear, and I can't allow you to kill my mother for her deeds. That's between her and the Goddess."

Piers merely nodded and asked the question Joren feared the most. "It is clear to me that you do love my daughter, but I have not seen much to convince me of her love for you. Does Keladry love you, Joren?"

"Sir, I ... I hope that ... with time ... Kel will love me as love her." Joren answered slowly and carefully. "I have ... reason to believe that she does love me ... in her own way." "Oh gods! He knows too much already!"

"Well, Joren, I appreciate your candor and your ability to answer my questions truthfully." Piers softly cleared his throat and spoke in a much harsher tone than before. "However, you should be aware that if you ever, ever harm my daughter in the ways you have done in the past, I will hunt you down and kill you myself. Welcome to our family." And then he reached out to clasp arms with Joren.

"I understand, sir. Thank you, sir." That was all Joren could say as he felt the strength in Sir Piers grip. "It looks like I just might live to see another day."

"While we wait for our wives to return, let's talk about something pleasant. I have never been to Stone Mountain. Kel has written that the mountain views are spectacular. Please tell me about your home." Piers requested in a friendly tone and Joren complied, relieved that the interrogation was over and that he had survived it in one piece.

Lady Ilane of Mindelan closed her bedroom door, turned to Kel and hugged her. Then she held her youngest daughter at arm's length and looked at her from head to toe. She nodded when she saw the pinkish fever-flush in Kel's face and subtle changes that no one else would have noticed. Her eyes filled with tears and she hugged Kel again in a tighter embrace.

"Oh, Keladry! You're pregnant!" Ilane's deep musical voice had a slight waver of emotion to it. "How did this happen? Of course, I know how this sort of thing can happen ... but why did this happen between you and Joren? He seems to love you very much, but you don't seem to love him in the same way. Am I correct?"

Kel gasped. "Mama! How did you know? I'm trying so ... I want to love him, and I do love him in a certain way, but ... I don't know how to explain it all. Mama, what am I supposed to do? I married Joren to protect our children, but I don't know what to do!" Then she began to sob into her mother's shoulder. "This is awful! How did she know?"

Ilane held Kel in her arms and let her cry herself dry. Then she led her to the edge of the bed, made her sit down and poured a cup of cool cider for her. She rubbed her daughter's back and soothed her with soft sounds until Kel seemed calm again. Then she began to speak.

"Kel, you eloped with Joren of Stone Mountain, a man who has been a bully to you since you first started training for knighthood." Ilane spoke slowly. "I know that there can be ... great passion ... between people who seem to hate one another. Things can ... and do ... happen when you ..."

"Mama," Kel interrupted, "Are you ... disappointed in me? This isn't how you raised me to be. I wish I could ..." "I'm doing this all wrong!"

"No, Kel! We love you no matter what you do." Ilane continued. "You are an adult in your own right, Kel. Your father and I are grateful that you wanted us to be there for you last night. It was so very late and you looked exhausted. However, you did not seem to be in any danger or under any compulsion, so we knew this was your own choice. Of course we suspected something, but it is best not to pry unless there are problems. Do you know when ... when you conceived? And did I hear you correctly - did you say children? Kel, are you pregnant with twins?"

Kel nodded, took a big gulp of air and began to tell her mother everything that had happened between her and Joren. She began by describing her first meeting with Joren after he woke up from his Deep Sleep and continued through to the events of the past few hours. When Kel glossed over what she felt were the sordid parts of her story, she sensed that her mother understood that which she did not say. She left out many details, but when Kel explained what Joren's mother had done to facilitate the pregnancy, Ilane's facial expression grew increasingly grim.

Ilane's voice was hard when she finally spoke. "Lady Virryn seems to have chosen wisely, Kel. We are a fertile family. However, I shall speak with her when we visit Stone Mountain. This whole affair may be Goddess-touched, but the fact that Joren's mother actually planned this pregnancy without your knowledge or consent is inexcusable. The only encouraging thing is that Joren really loves you. And, darling, I'm thrilled that you had a good wedding 'night' but Kel, sex, no matter how good it is, cannot become the only thing binding you to Joren. Marriage itself can be difficult enough, but a marriage without love from both sides is harder still."

"Mama, is this the kind of talk you've had with my sisters?" Kel asked. "I feel so unprepared for my new life. Will you help me? Would you stay with me for a while and teach me the things I don't know how to do? I can't do this alone and I just can't place myself in Lady Virryn's hands." "I don't think I could bear her help. I need you, Mama!'

Ilane considered Kel's heartfelt plea and agreed to speak with her father about an extended stay. So much of their schedule depended on the birth of Princess Shinkokami's second child and when the princess' mother would return to the Yamani Islands. Meanwhile, Ilane sat with Kel, stroking her short hair.

"I guess I'm officially old now that my youngest daughter will be a mother herself!" Ilane exclaimed. Then she sighed and spoke softly, "I only wish it was ... well, under better circumstances for you, Kel. You were too young to remember your oldest sister's first pregnancy. And you certainly never knew about my first pregnancy. Anders was an 'early babe' - as so many firstborns are - and we didn't die from shame. On the contrary, we simply continued on from there. Of course, we had been betrothed for a while, so no one really cared. Your father and I have been very fortunate, but only because we both love each other deeply. Real love can overcome anything and I sense that Joren's love for you is real, Kel. He has been pressing your father for a marriage betrothal or blessing or something for several months and I don't think it's just because he thought you were pregnant."

Kel just stared at her mother in amazement and could not speak. "This is unreal! 'Early' babies and Joren's betrothal offers, too? My world continues to be turned upside down and sideways!"

"Kel, do you remember the talk we had back when Cleon of Kennan was courting you?" Ilane asked and Kel nodded. "You couldn't believe I actually suggested that you get a pregnancy charm. I assumed that you always remembered to wear it then, and with any other lovers you may have had later. This pregnancy was not your fault, but since you have accepted the fate the gods have determined for you, I hope you will be able to find happiness within your decision."

"But, Mama ... why me?" Kel's voice was full of anguish. "Why did the gods do this to me?" "I just can't understand it!"

"Who knows why they do what they do?" Ilane replied. "Yet, in spite of what Lady Virryn did, you have a husband who really loves you, Kel. Many women are not so fortunate in that way. Besides, it sounds like you two might actually enjoy yourselves while you learn how to love Joren. Just take it one day at a time, darling. That's what your father and I still do and it's worked out fine for us." Then she gave Kel a squeeze around her shoulders.

Kel was overcome by her emotions once more and could only tell her mother she loved her before the tears spilled out again. Ilane gently rocked her 'baby' in her arms until Kel settled down enough to drink some more cider. Then it was time to go back downstairs and rejoin the men. While they were on the stairs, Ilane quietly chatted with Kel.

"How are you handling being a living oven?" Ilane asked. "Your father tried as hard as he could to keep me somewhat cool, especially when I was carrying you summer-born babies. That was the most vexing part of it. Well, that and the constant crying. I've never cried so much as when I was newly pregnant. Your father couldn't wait until I was further along and the quick tears stopped."

"You mean ... this crying doesn't last the whole time?" Kel's hopes rose up a bit. "Please, oh please, oh please!"

"Goddess, no!" Ilane exclaimed and she turned back to face Kel as they continued to descend the stairs. "Otherwise, there would be only one child born to every couple - or two if they had twins. Kel, if you're anything like me or your sister, and I believe that you are, you will feel better soon. Ha! Ha! Then Joren will have to hide because you will want him so oft..." Kel's mother rarely blushed, but she did just then because Piers and Joren were standing at the bottom of the stairs now. Actually, all four of them - Kel, Joren, Ilane and Piers - had a healthy pink glow on their faces. And then they all laughed.

Mithros, the Great Goddess and Yama all looked at one another as they waited for the right moment to do their next task. Together, they would create a new island over which Yama would cast her protection. When they all were ready, Mithros began to push.

*********************

That night, there was an earthquake in the Yamani Islands where two great land masses pushed together and heaved themselves out of the waters. Amazingly, there were no deaths, but the devastation to all the harbors was intense. The Yamani Emperor advised all of the ambassadors and their staffs to return to their home countries and stay there for at least the next year, and possibly two years, until the islands were stable again. The Tortallan ambassador and his wife had returned to their homeland already. The Emperor was glad - that meant one less embassy to evacuate.

A/N: Well, that's the "Meet the Parents" chapter. Next up: dealing with the friends. I am toying with the idea to do a sort of song-fic in one of the last chapters. Does anyone know if it's okay to do it that way? I look forward to your reviews and comments. Thanks!