Redemption
Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine. The lyrics to the song 'Brighter Than Sunshine' belong to Aqualung, from the soundtrack to the movie "A Lot Like Love."
A/N: It's a 'song-fic' chapter! It comes with another **Fluff Alert** for real this time, so if you don't like fluff - too bad. I warned you! ;D Enjoy!
A/N #2: I rewrote the ending of this chapter, so I hope you like it. Thank you xxTunstallChickxx - you were right!
Humming in the Rain
Joren lay on his back, panting and gasping for air. A sweaty sheen covered his bare torso and arms and drops of sweat rolled down the sides of his face. Every muscle in his body was screaming at him and he wanted to be left alone.
"Come on, Joren, you can do this." Kel tried to encourage him. "Just once more ... please ... it'll be fun this time ... I promise."
"No, Kel! I ... just can't ..." Joren gasped as he tried to speak. "You've ... completely ... worn me out. Phew! Where do ... you get ... so much ... energy? You should be ... tired, too."
"I really, really need you to do it just one more time," Kel pleaded as she leaned over him. "I can't do it without you. Well, I guess I could, but it's way more fun now that you can do it with me."
"Alright, alright. Once more, Kel," Joren's breathing was returning to normal. "But then I'm cutting you off. It's time for breakfast and I'm hungry. I know if I'm hungry, you must be starving."
I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling
Kel kissed Joren on his salty lips and then stood in her ready position. Joren curled his body up from the floor, picked up his practice glaive and began one more pattern dance with Kel. It was their fifth round of the naginata and he truly was tired. When Kel witnessed Joren doing his version of her exercises, she asked if she could correct his form and help him to do the pattern dances correctly. She admitted that by the Chamber making Joren 'live' her earlier life, he was fairly good at doing most of the exercises. After she showed him the right way to do everything, Joren continued to be astounded by Kel's high level of fitness. He couldn't keep up with her, but he knew they had to get up and burn off all their energy with physical training so that they wouldn't be tempted to stay in bed all day. Joren enjoyed holding Kel throughout the night, but he was only human and he knew his limitations.
Tied up in ancient history
I didn't believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling
The previous day had been very difficult for both of them. Everything from Neal and Raoul discovering Joren and Kel on the curtain wall to the numerous discussions and meetings with everyone afterward had taken their toll. They both appeared before the King' Council, whose members warned Joren not to interfere with their proceedings. Kel's future was decided and she and Faleron agreed to meet again to make arrangements for their change-of-command before she left Corus.
Kel and Joren ate dinner at the palace with Alanna and George, the first people, other than their parents and Aron, to fully accept them as a couple. People in the banquet hall kept glancing in their direction and whispering, but the Cooper's were able to distract and entertain their guests with some funny stories from their own newlywed days. It had been a long, grueling day and when the exhausted couple finally returned to their townhouse, all they could do was crawl into bed and go to sleep.
When Kel woke up, Joren had already escaped the bed, finished his floor exercises and was doing his version of a pattern dance. Kel wondered where he got his practice glaive, but then she was distracted by Joren's poor form. Once again, she got out of bed and showed him the correct way to perform all the movements. Joren was relieved to be finished. Kel was a hard taskmaster and would not let him slack off or move sloppily. He knew she was stronger than him and his pride wouldn't let him give up when she still seemed to have so much energy to burn.
What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
And it's brighter than sunshine
It had rained early in the morning, but stopped before noon. Low clouds still hung in the skies over Corus and Joren urged Kel to go to Lalasa's dress shop while he took care of some business matters. There were hugs and a few tears as Kel gave her former maid a brief version of all that had happened. Lalasa's partner Tian brought out a tray with tea and goodies and the three women enjoyed their nice chat in the back room of the shop. Lalasa took Kel's measurements and told her that she could see some changes in her body, but nothing so much that clothes wouldn't disguise them for a while. The talented seamstress took pleasure in designing new outfits for Kel, including several gowns that would be fancier than what Kel normally allowed. She was, after all, the new Lady of Stone Mountain. Before Kel finished her second cup of tea, Lalasa pulled out a cloth garment bag and gave it to her. Inside was a tunic for Kel in the colors of Stone Mountain. The crest badge was still the owl of Mindelan, but it was in Stone Mountain colors, also.
"Lord Joren sent me a message two days ago he and asked me to make this for you. He said you would decide on the way you really want your new crest to look, but to just do it this way for now." Lalasa explained. "Do you like it Lady Kel?"
Kel was speechless for a moment. Joren must have sent his message to Lalasa the day after their elopement. She had not expected anything like this to happen until much later. The idea of Joren caring enough to outfit Kel in his colors as soon as possible was astounding to her. The words of Molly the maid echoed through her head once again, and she said the words aloud to Lalasa.
"Joren is full of surprises." She murmured. "And he keeps on surprising me and surprising me every time I turn around."
"Aye, that he is, my lady." Lalasa agreed. "You know Lord Joren apologized for the way he treated us back before your big exams. But now he has given me a sum of money that would buy you fifty dresses and tunics if you wanted them. Just say the word and I'll make anything you want - he's already paid for them. I'll tell you this: the man you married is a completely different man than the one who fought against you all the time."
"Yes, he is," Kel nodded, thinking about the man she married, "And he certainly doesn't fight me anymore. Well, sparring in the practice yard and doing glaive work don't count." "Joren only 'fights' me about the one thing. And I think it's about time to end that particular argument - for good."
Kel pulled the new tunic over her summer shirt and let Lalasa make a few minor adjustments. When she looked at her reflection in the dress shop mirror, she was pleased to see that she actually looked good in Joren's colors - her colors now. The seamstress clucked and fretted that Kel would only be able to wear the tunic for a short time. Then she promised to make some 'roomier' dresses for when Kel would need them. The women hugged each other again and Kel ran a few more errands before she returned to the townhouse.
Joren noticed Kel's new tunic immediately and smiled widely at her when she came into the library.
"You look ... wonderful in our colors, my lady," Joren said in a soft voice. "Thank you for agreeing to wear them so soon." "I was afraid that you wouldn't want to change over at all, especially after yesterday."
"Thank you for making it possible for me to wear them so soon," Kel replied. Then she walked around the desk and kissed Joren gently on his cheek. The whiskers of his beard tickled her lips, but she didn't mind. "It's starting to rain again, so I'm not going back out today. I think I'll ... take a nap. You could ... join me ... if you like." "I probably should rest, but I'd really like for you to be with me now."
Joren sat very still and willed himself to be strong enough to resist Kel's blatant offer. He knew what she was up to and he wasn't going to surrender that easily.
"Uh ... not right now, Kel," Joren tried to look busy by shuffling around some of the papers on his desk. "I'm ... I'm still looking over these ... uh, invoices that Ebroin prepared for my review. He's coming by tomorrow to give me the full report and I ... uh ... need to be well-informed." "I know there's still a ghost in our bedroom, Kel. I have my pride. I'm not stupid; I'm just stubborn."
Kel's heart sank at Joren's apparent disinterest, but then she realized that she definitely was tired after all of her day's activities so far. She figured that if she got more rest now, maybe she would be able to catch Joren off guard so that they could 'be happy' together later. She did not want him to use the same tired excuse about her being so tired. Kel got undressed and carefully placed her new tunic over a chair. Then she climbed into the bed to take her nap. The late afternoon rain fell harder and soon the splattering of the drops against the windows lulled Kel into a sound sleep.
I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling
Joren crept silently into the room just to watch Kel sleep. She looked so innocent and peaceful as she lay there. He smiled at the memory of the cute faces of the boys in the vision the Chamber had shown him. Joren yearned for his children to know a much different life than the life he had known as a child. He wanted them to be sure of their parents' love for them, and for them to learn how to love in a healthy way from the start. He did not want them to have to endure the Chamber's punishment in order to know how to love people. Joren hoped that, even if Kel couldn't love him and the Chamber took him away, the love she had for their children would provide them with a better start in life.
I didn't have the strength to fight
Suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling
On a whim, Joren quietly walked to the side of the bed and, barely touching her, he leaned down and placed his ear next to Kel's belly. Of course he couldn't hear anything but the gurgling of Kel's empty stomach, but he wondered if they - his sons - could hear him. Softly, so as not to wake Kel, Joren began to hum a song that he remembered his nursemaid Molly singing to him when he was very young. He was surprised that he could recall the whole tune. Joren felt Kel's chest rise and fall with each breath that she took and her heartbeat was louder to him than the sound of the rain. As he hummed, he mentally 'spoke' to his unborn children, pleading with them to help him win their mother's love. After everything that had happened the previous day, Joren feared that Kel would never be able to love him completely.
What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
Kel opened her eyes a little to see what Joren was doing. She could feel the vibrations of his humming, but all she could see was the back of Joren's head and the silver hair clasp which held his white-blond horsetail. Very, very slowly, Kel brought her hand up and loosened the clasp and let it fall to the floor. Joren's silky, thick locks tumbled out and she began to comb her fingers through the shiny strands. Kel gently stroked Joren's hair, letting it slide through her fingers time and time again. Joren's humming slowed to a complete stop and he started to lift away from Kel.
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine.
"Don't go," Kel whispered and her voice was husky with emotion. "That's very nice. I think they like your voice. I can feel them fluttering a bit when you hum to them. I ... I like it, too." "I'm here now, this is my life, these are our children - and I love you, Joren."
Joren began to hum again and turned his head to face Kel. She looked into his beautiful sky-blue eyes and gently moved her hand down his lightly bearded face, feeling the coarseness of it as compared to the smooth hair on his head. Kel reached out to tuck some of the loose strands of Joren's hair behind his ear and then returned to combing through the length of it with her fingers again. She closed her eyes and sighed contentedly and Joren stopped humming again. This time, he did lift himself off of Kel's belly and the bed.
Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me
When Joren first felt Kel release his hair clasp, he continued his humming. He didn't want to get his hopes up again, but as Kel played with his hair, he couldn't keep his heart from beating faster. The sensations he felt at the touch of her hands were so sensual for him, he knew he'd have to leave the room soon before he absolutely lost control of himself. When she asked him not to get up, he knew he had to see her face, so he turned his head to the other side. Joren watched Kel's face as she continued to comb her fingers slowly through his hair. When she closed her eyes and sighed, Joren knew that something had changed within Kel. He got up and stood directly over her so that he would be able to look into her hazel eyes when she opened them again. Joren could barely breathe and his heartbeat seemed to be nearly double its normal rate as he waited - and hoped.
Kel opened her eyes and discovered Joren standing over her. His breathing was ragged and he was biting his lower lip. His eyes searched her eyes and they held a question - the same question he silently had asked every day since he knew he loved her.
"Kel?" Joren's voice came out as a hoarse whisper. "Do you love me, Kel?"
"I love you, Joren," Kel whispered back to him. "I truly, truly love you ... and no one else." "I'm yours, Joren. I'm ... all yours."
Joren did not hesitate. He knew that the 'ghost' of Dom was gone and Kel was his alone. His lips hungrily came down on Kel's lips and their kisses quickly became deep and intense. Joren broke away only to shed his clothing and then he climbed into the bed beside his beloved wife. Kel gave her whole self - body, mind and soul - to Joren. They came together with a passion that they only had hinted at before. The heavy rains pelted the windows, but Kel and Joren were oblivious to anything except each other and the complete love they now shared.
What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
Late into the evening, Joren held Kel in his arms and thought about the long, long journey he began in the Chamber of the Ordeal. He thought about the person he had been before, and the person he had become since then. He contemplated what might have happened if he had loved Kel from the start. Would she still have been required to fight so hard to earn her shield? Would he have been able to convince his father to arrange a betrothal for him and Kel? Would Kel have accepted him then? He knew the answers to those questions were probably negative.
Joren thought about the way the Chamber's punishment made him live the past lives that he could not change, but it also allowed him to learn from them so that he could live this present life in a way he could never have imagined. As he listened to the soft breathing of the incredible woman who was now completely his, Joren just smiled. Kel felt the brush of Joren's beard against her face when he smiled. She snuggled closer to him and looked over into his eyes. The rain had stopped and the moonlight streamed in and made Joren's eyes look almost luminescent.
"What? What are you thinking, Joren?" Kel asked quietly and smiled at him in return. "Tell me your secrets and I'll tell you mine." "I want to know everything about you."
"It's no secret ... I was thinking about ... us." Joren answered slowly and tightened his arm around Kel. "And I was thinking about how much ... I love ... us being together ... forever. I love you, Kel." "Yes, forever."
"I love you, too, Joren ... now and forever." "Yes ... forever."
Then Kel and Joren made each other very, very, very happy.
And so it was that Joren's love for Kel overcame her loneliness, self-doubt and grief. Likewise, Kel's love for Joren overcame his fears, self-loathing and pride. They both found redemption in each other's arms, and the gods smiled down upon them as their mutual love met all the conditions for Joren to live a full life. They would have many adventures together, with their children and out on various missions for their king, but their love would bind them and strengthen them through all the good times and the bad times.
And it's brighter than sunshine
A/N: I actually wrote most of this chapter before I worked on any other part of this story. The song was my inspiration. This was the original last chapter and then I had to figure out how to get my version of K/J to this point. I think there is at least an 'epilogue' chapter in my head, but I'd love to know how much further any of you want me to go with this story. Thanks! :D