A.N.: Ok, it seems you guys loved the chapter. I think all of you will love this one more. This is the second climax of the story. .com/watch?v=wgKv4Bd158s that is the trailer :)I made it myself.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I only own the little boy inside of Bella.
Chapter 19 : Letters
Edward's POV
I ran faster than I had ever run before. The moment Alice saw him, she came to me and showed me what she had seen. I knew that Bella had just written him another letter and I decided to just go ahead and do it. I wouldn't talk to him of course; I would just leave the evidence at his place and wait for him to find it. But I wouldn't go home just yet. I would have to stay to make sure that Jasper left for Forks, back to Bella. If he didn't, I would drag him there if I had to. He had to listen to the truth to go back to her. She was more broken than she had ever been before and it hurt me to know that she loved him more than she had ever loved me but it also showed me that I should do this for her. Because although I loved Alice, deep down I still felt for Bella. He smelt me the moment I entered the room and I sped off like a bolt of lightning.
Jasper's POV
My dead heart skipped a beat. I tore open the envelope as slowly as I could and I pulled out the letter. It was pretty long. Her handwriting brought back so many memories of college, and her scent was intoxicating. I held the paper close to my heart before I started to read.
Dear Jasper,
I'm officially going crazy. I keep writing you letters every month; letters which you will never get or even care about enough to read. I miss your presence in my life and during this moment I need you here more than ever. This is going to be my last letter to nobody. Then I am giving up and am hoping to die during childbirth.
When you left me, the hole in my chest came back and it came wider than ever before. It was worse than when Edward left me. I lay down on the floor and waited for death to come for me. I couldn't believe you would mistrust me like that. I couldn't believe you didn't know me at all… You should have known I would always be faithful to you. I never cheated on you with anybody.
I keep telling you this in every letter I write but I will never stop repeating it. You could have given me a chance. Everybody blames you, but not me. It was my fault; I wasn't clear enough from the beginning. I am now six months pregnant and your child…our child is the only reason I have not killed myself yet. I don't want to live if it is without you. Jacob keeps on telling me that you will come back for me and that the baby needs me. But I don't believe you will ever be back. You left me and stopped loving me the moment you thought I had betrayed you.
But I would never betray you. You will always be my soul mate Jasper; always and forever- even if I die. I don't even want to change anymore because I feel I have no reason to. The child will be safe with your family. I'm sure Rosalie will be a very good adoptive mother to him.
Oh yes, it's a boy. I'm going to call him Jeremy Jasper Whitlock Hale. It's for your father and for you. I know you loved your father very much Jasper. I hope the baby looks a lot like you. I can't imagine him not looking like you. You are so beautiful and it will break my heart every time I look at him but it doesn't matter; I don't think my heart can break any further than it has already been broken.
How does it feel without me? Do you feel free? Do you feel happy? Perhaps rejuvenated? I feel broken, sad and alone. I want death to come and take me away. I cry helplessly and I dream of the day you left me. I dream of you changing me and then I wake up to find myself in my pathetic human form. You're gone Jasper and I can't deal without you. I can't live properly. I'll never function well enough again. This is worse than when Edward left me.
My father doesn't know I'm pregnant yet. I have cut all contact with my parents, knowing that I will probably die while giving birth. Cos apparently, Carlisle made some research and he found out that male vampires have the ability to fertilize human females. But the human mother always died during childbirth because the baby was too strong for her to cope with it all. I guess I'll be doing the world a favour; giving it a mini-Jasper and ridding it of my burden, because that is what I am. I am a burden to your family. Alice and Edward dropped out from college to take care of me. They are seeing each other now. Rosalie is being great with me and Emmett is being very sweet. Carlisle and Esme are the best almost-parents ever. But your absence is so prominent. Nothing can fill the emptiness; not even Jacob's friendship.
He was pretty mad at you for leaving me. But he has full faith that you will come back to me. He says you loved me too much. But I don't believe him. You will never come back to this worthless piece of trash.
In three months, we will have a son together and I will probably die. This is my last letter. I love you Jasper, and I always will…forever.
Take care of yourself – you're too important.
I love you,
Yours truly,
Your Bella
XxX
My heart broke at her words. I was feeling happy and confused at her sudden news that I was actually going to become a father, but it broke me to see what I had done to her. It broke me to realize what a fool I had been and how cruel I had been to not even give her a chance. I hadn't even given her a chance to speak, a chance to explain. I had been cruel and selfish enough to not give her that chance.
I'm sorry. But sorry was not going to bring back those months away from her. It was not going to bring back her beautiful smile or her joyful laughter. I had broken her and myself in the process due to my stubborn head and my cold heart. I had to go back to her and to show her that I loved her, but I couldn't overexcite her and perhaps cause her to lose the baby.
Then again, I wouldn't let her think of losing her life during childbirth either. I had to go and make things right; I simply had to go.
Bella's POV
Edward did not come home at all during the following day. I was left with the note in my hand and my mind to wonder. What had he done with my letter?
"Alice," I said as I knocked on Edward's door.
"Yes Bella? Come in sweetie," she said. I entered the room and shut the door behind me. I gave her Edward's note.
"What is this?" I asked her, "Can you tell me what has happened? I need to know."
"Everything's going to be fine Bella, I promise. Now go back to your room. I can't tell you anymore."
"That's not fair; I need to know."
"You'll know soon enough," she told me. She smiled softly at me and I retreated back to my room, stomping my heavy feet in the process. I wanted to know what he had meant by writing that note. I needed to know. My heart was hammering inside my chest. What had he done with my letter?
Edward's POV
I could hear his mind screaming from where I was. He hated himself for what he had done to Bella; for not giving her a chance to explain, and I didn't blame him - I had felt the same way when I had left her there in the woods without an honest explanation. I had hated myself deeply for letting her go into that state on the basis of an assumption. Jasper had repeated my mistake. He had thought he was doing a noble thing; letting her be with whom he thought she wanted, but he was wrong; she wanted nobody except for him. And she loved him so very much. While he was reading the letter, I could hear her every word in his head and it was so deep and so passionate; she loved him like she had never loved before.
I hated it when she said she would gladly die during childbirth.
Wait, there's a shift in Jasper's thoughts.
Jasper's POV
I need to see her. I need to go now.
Edward's POV
He's coming back to Forks. I shall leave now so that he will not note my presence.
Bella's POV
I need Jasper. I need to see him.
Jasper's POV
Bella, if you can hear me…
Bella's POV
Jasper, if you can hear me…
Bella and Jasper's POV
I love you…
A.N. I hope you enjoyed reading this. Please read and review :) And watch the trailer.