Umm hello again. I just wanted to say – I really appreciate all my reviewers, but I never got a chance to thank the anonymous ones, so I really, really appreciate it. I'm not sure if anyone really likes this… ^^;; I think I put the rating too high; its not supposed to get "good" until… oh two chapters maybe (for which I am terribly sorry, I know what you guys want…) Anyway, thank you a lot, anons, and you who signed as well.

The next day, Feliks woke him at an ungodly hour to board the school bus that would take motivated students to a local church for Sunday mass. Toris could not help but wonder at the fact that Feliks would not be dragged out of bed for school, yet he would be so enthusiastic for early-morning prayer.

It was the usual suspects on the bus. Antonio was there, chirpy and chipper as anything, along with his boyfriend, Romano, and Feliciano from English class. They rounded out the Catholic contingent, but the only church for miles was more of an all-denominational community center, so the bus was packed with all sorts, anyone from Lutheran to Episcopal to Orthodox Christian.

Feliks dragged Toris to sit with Antonio and the Vargas twins. Toris leaned against the dew-cold window and tried to fall asleep. Eight thirty was too early for a Sunday morning.

Feliks immediately started chattering to Antonio and Feliciano about something of little consequence. Toris met Romano's eyes. He was leaning against Antonio's chest, eyes blood-shot and only half-open. The boy looked even less amused than Toris was.

Mass passed in a daze. Although Toris himself was not particularly religious, his family was, and he was familiar with the inside of a church. He reveled in the quiet ripple of incense and the time to think. Or rather, to not think. For just a little while, Toris allowed himself to let go and place all of his anxieties in something bigger than himself. He wasn't sure if the "something bigger" heard him, but it was enough for Toris that the possibility was there.

He chanted with the congregation, Donna nobis pacem. Grant us peace.

When the service was over, Feliks padded off to pilfer the donuts offered in the meeting room by the Over-50 club. Toris stayed put in the pews. He never liked going to church, but once he got there, he felt rather grateful for Feliks' stubborn devotion and insistence.

There was a creak as someone heavy sat beside him on the wooden pew. Toris jerked his gaze away from the hands he had folded in his lap and found himself looking into the wide, sad, guilty violet eyes of Ivan Braginsky.

Toris froze silently.

"Toris…?" Ivan whispered. "Are you alright?"

"Y-yes, of course, I – ah – umm, what happened to your cheek?" Toris finally managed to spit out. The Slavic boy's left cheek was marred by three shallow, puffy scratches.

"A cat… slapped me, actually."

Toris stared, confused.

"It was nothing. Toris, little one…"

Toris flinched away from the hand that moved to pat his arm.

"I-I'm sorry, but I have to – I really have to – I need to find Feliks –" Toris stood up abruptly, murmuring echoing apologies, but Ivan grabbed his wrist and would not let go. Toris' breath sped up and he jerked at the touch, but Ivan kept him captive.

"Wait," Ivan begged. "Please. I just need to tell you… Toris, love, I'm so sorry."

Toris blinked, shuddered.

"I know what I did was wrong. It was… unforgivable. Despicable. I know what I am. I just felt you slipping away from me. From the moment we began to date, I knew you really wanted to be with…him… even if you yourself did not understand, so I wanted to keep you. I wanted to claim you and make it so that you and me were one.

Toris began to tremble, memories bursting back in full force, now that he was here and could not escape. The smell of incense, so comforting before, now suffocated him, reminding him of death and myrrh. Nameless saints and angels stared sightlessly, reproachfully from their stone perches.

"No, no, no, no…"

"But I'm sorry Toris. Toris. Look at me. I am sorry." Ivan's thick, strong hands grabbed Toris' chin in a surprisingly gentle way, guiding it so that their eyes met. His were full of remorse. Toris' were full of tears. "Please, I never… I never meant to hurt you. Can you… can you just say that you forgive me?"

Toris stared at him. He was serious. Oh, he could always read Ivan so well, knew when he was angry or sad or heartachingly lonely and now Ivan was nothing but deeply, deeply sorry, but all Toris could do was shake.

"Ivan…" he whispered. "I want to." He did. He had loved Ivan, truly, once. Once, it had been worth it. "I want to but I can't." The boy's face fell, sparked with danger but calmed almost immediately, waiting.

"I can't yet," Toris said, fearful of the anger he was sure to cause, desperate to preserve some sort of peace in the boy in front of him, "but, but, I will… remember. I will remember this and I will try hard and one day I … will forgive you but now I just… I hurts, okay? Its hurting me and its hurting Feliks and I c-can't –" He took a deep breath, tried to stop the horrible tremble of his voice. "I can't forgive anyone who hurts Feliks,"

It was the single most painful thing he could have told Ivan. It was the only thing that he could say. The silence crackled all Toris could expect was violence and pain. He waited, panicked, for the impact.

Another figure appeared beside Ivan, standing over both of the seated students. Wang Yao. He leveled both with a golden gaze. "I was coming over to see what was wrong with Ivan, aru." He stopped, seemed to think for a moment, and restarted. "Toris, Feliks might be hurt but he also hurt Ivan."

Ivan's face spasmed in panic. "Yao, this is nothing I don't deser-" His hand flew to his cheek, as if to hide the scratches there. Oh. Feliks had…

"A…cat?" Toris managed to ask. "Feliks…when…?"

"That is why he has detention today," said Yao with a huff.

"When –"

"Yesterday," interrupted Ivan. "You ran out of your room and looked upset and I wanted to follow you, but then I saw little Feliks and went to ask him what was wrong and he slapped me. And said things in Polish that I don't think were kind."

Oh, Feliks…

"I have to go," Toris murmured. "Oh God. I have to – Ivan, I can't – I'll –" Unable to finish, he spun around and left, running out of the church sanctuary and down the dull grey-carpeted hallway of the worship center. Ivan stared sadly after him, letting Yao lead him in the opposite direction.

Most of the boys were congregated in a large meeting room, eating donuts and flirting with the female students from the all-girls' school across the river. Feliks was in the corner at one of the various collapsible card tables, sipping instant coffee and locked in intense conversation with his cousin Elizaveta. The girl had a look of unholy excitement on her face, but as Toris approached, she was motioned away by an impatient-looking Roderich.

Toris barely registered the exchange. His heart pounding, he grabbed Feliks' arm. Feliks put down his Styrofoam coffee cup and flashed Toris an annoyed glance. "Like, Liet, I'm drinking here – Liet?" He was dragged out of the room, into the hallway and down a half-hall that ended in a service door. Only then did Toris grab him in a fierce hug.

"Never – do you hear me? Fucking never do something so stupid and reckless ever again!" The yell was vicious and sharp but muffled in Feliks' shoulder.

Feliks stiffened. "How'd you – Ivan. Gawd, did that stupid bitch say –"

"Don't ever!" interrupted Toris, lifting his face to stare directly in Feliks' eyes, gaze wild and red-rimmed. "He could have hurt you. Do you get it Feliks? He could have hurt you!"

"Liet, shut up!" Feliks squealed, putting a hand over his mouth and physically spinning him so his back was pressed against the wall. His chest was pressed to Toris', knee shoved between his thighs, perched on his toes so that he could shove their faces together, nose to nose. Toris breathed heavily under Feliks' palm, glare sparking with wetness. Feliks glared right back, petulantly.

"First of all, don't order me around," he said. "You are so loud and people are going to hear us." He pulled away and stuck his tongue out. "Second, I can take care of myself, okay? I don't need anyone to keep me out of trouble." The irony of this… "And third." He put his fists on his hips. "I'm so sick of not doing anything. I've been wanting to slap that Ivan kid for sooo long and it was totally worth it. If someone hurts you, I'm going to hurt them back. Duh. So don't even yell at me, ty głupi, 'cuz you and I are in this together."

There was nothing to say to that. Toris let out his eyes fall closed and slumped against the wall, his head banging against it. He held out his arms and Feliks gladly embraced him, feeling Toris pull his head into the brunette's chest. They stayed like that for a very long time.