Shackles of Eavesdropping

Eavesdropping is a detestable habit that some people have. They hear things that they are not supposed to hear and then spread it around as the latest news, usually distorting thr story in a horrifying way.

But sometimes, eavesdropping is a way of finding out valuable information. But the informtion is often inaccurate, incormplete, inadequate...amongst other things. As such, it is not always reliable. And we often require our own thinking to figure out a way to piece together the fragements that we hear...

"Joshua!" Marisa folded her arms before her chest. "I can walk by myself without external assistance."

Joshua still held on firmly onto her arm, steering her towards the sofa. "Nope," he smiled infuriatingly. "I have learnt never to trust you to your own devices again. You'll probably knock your leg and bruise your skin or something."

She rolled her eyes. Infuriating man!

"Your highness!" Belle practically flew into the room in haste. "There's a distinguished guest looking for you. It's-"

"MARISA!" A woman squealed shrilly and catapulted herself at Marisa, enveloping her in a crushing hug. "It's so good to see you again! Do you know how worried I was when I heard news of your illness? It was so disturbing that I couldn't sleep for two nights consecutive, right Rennac?"

L'Arachel let go of Marisa and glanced around, before skipping to the door. "Rennac! What are you still loitering around there for? Don't touch that vase! It's expensive you know! And it's not yours! You need to get permission to touch something that is not yours!"

Rennac promptly appeared at the door, dragging his heels. "Ow!" He said when L'Arachel took his arm and dragged him over. "You need permission to touch my arm, you know!" he said indignantly. "It's not yours!"

"Not mine?" L'Arachel said sweetly and fluttered her eyelashes. "You sure it's not mine? You, as my escort, is 100% mine and only mine and mine only!"

Rennac rolled his eyes, but made no attempt to remove L'Arachel's hand. "Hello Marisa." He swept Joshua a deep bow. "Greetings, distinguished Prince Joshua of Jehanna, what a delight to be of acquaintance again."

Uh oh.

Joshua's eyes narrowed, and his jaw was set firmly. He gave a small nod in Rennac's direction. "Greetings, Sir Rennac."

"You two know each other?" L'Arachel gasped, flabbergasted. "I wanted to introduce all of you to each other…"

Rennac and Joshua both ignored her. "So what brings you here to my castle this fine day?" Joshua drawled, tightening his hold on Marisa's arm. One of his arms snaked protectively around her waist.

If only Joshua would be slightly less defensive…Marisa sighed inwardly. He's turning into Innes whenever he sees Rennac…but that fellow could do better than use that horribly disrespecting and mocking tone with Joshua! What's wrong with men? Always fighting…

"As my lady's escort, I am expected to accompany her wherever I go, right?" Rennac replied smoothly. "And my lady happens to fancy a visit to Jehanna to visit Princess Marisa I cannot simply refuse because the prince and I possess certain misunderstandings, right?"

"Aptly put," Joshua smiled, his voice carrying a harsh edge. "I, however, do not believe that we have any misunderstandings between more. I personally believe the right phrase would be 'deep understanding'."

Could they stop verbally sparring already? Marisa sighed again. They are really turning into Ephraim and Innes. They seem to have this bitter rivalry ever since they met at the ball at Renais, even though they had scarcely exchanged more than four sentences.

"Why don't the two of you sort out your problems here," L'Arachel interrupted, suggesting. "While Marisa and I go talk here in the next room."

"About?" Rennac raised an eyebrow.

"Girl stuff." L'Arachel giggled at Rennac's instantaneous look of revulsion and shudder of horror.

"Take care of yourself, okay?" Joshua turned Marisa around to face him. "You haven't fully recovered yet, so don't exert yourself. If you need anything or are not feeling well, just call me and I'll be there in a second."

Rennac rolled his eyes and examined his fingernails, rubbing his cuticles.

L'Arachel took a gulp of the tea. "You know…Joshua has been acting pretty weirdly ever since he married you."

Marisa raised an eyebrow as she lounged on the sofa. Really? She never did notice anything different. He was just as annoying, just as sarcastic and just as surprising all the time.

L'Arachel nodded. "He used to write to me and complain about all the royal etiquette and stuff that he was made to learn. And at balls he used to disappear till the ball was over. And he used to tell me all that happened in Jehanna. But his last letter came four months ago, telling me that he was getting married. Then he stopped writing. No letter, no complaint, no greetings, nothing!" L'Arachel wailed. "I thought that he had forgotten all about me!"

He's always a little on the fickle side. Marisa shrugged. You can hardly blame him, he has Natasha and harems of beautiful women.

"And during the ball he was so protective of you," L'Arachel continued. "And today, did you see?" She giggled and leant in closer and whispered. "He was jealous of Rennac!" She threw back her head and laughed. "You could almost see the jealousy flaring in his eyes. If I wasn't trying to control my laughter, I'll have been angry at him for not being jealous over me. After all, I am the most beautiful girl in Magvel!"

He wasn't jealous over L'Arachel? He was jealous? Since when? Marisa frowned in puzzlement. "He was?"

L'Arachel made an exaggerated hand gesture. "Pooh! You mean you never noticed it? To have two men fighting over you and you never knew it at all?" L'Arachel giggled again. "They were arguing over you!"

Me? Marisa's eyes grew round in bewilderment.

L'Arachel nodded. "Yup, over you! Fancy that! Arguing over you when the most beautiful girl in Magvel was in the room," she examined her nails as Rennac had done. "But oh well! Rennac wasn't really the one who started it. Technically it is just Joshua who was jealous so it's still understandable I guess." She blew on her fingernails gently. "No one can seem to resist my delectable charm."

Are we talking about the same Joshua here? Marisa shook her head in disbelief. Why would Joshua be jealous over me? Is she a little not right in the head this morning?

"You don't believe me?" L'Arachel pouted. "I tell you, he was jealous over you! Really! He's so in love with you that he's like jealous over every male who has close contact with you!" She began wailing again. "It's unfair! Why don't I have such a devoted boyfriend or husband or whatever?"

Okay, definitely not right in the head this morning. L'Arachel was definitely spewing nonsense again. She was right? How could Joshua be in love with her? He loved Natasha, or so I thought…was it a misunderstanding? URGH, so confusing and all this is giving me a migraine…

"Can you keep a secret, Marisa?" L'Arachel said timidly. Without waiting for a reply, she continued. "I think…I'm in love with Rennac…"

RENNAC? Marisa's mouth formed a large 'O'.

"I…I don't know why it happened," L'Arachel wrung her hands in distress. "I just…woke up one day and thought like…oh my gosh, I'm in love…you know those kind of things…like this sudden revelation?" She flittered around the room like a trapped butterfly. "What should I do?" She cried in despair. "He'll never love me! I've tried everything: changing dresses, hairstyles, manner, behaviour…and he's never interested!"

I wonder why…Marisa thought amusedly. If she dangled the key to the Rausten treasury before him maybe he'll show slightly more interest…

"Can you help me?" L'Arachel collapsed on her knees on the floor before Marisa. "Please?"

What?

"You know Rennac pretty well, and he talks to you more than he talks to me," L'Arachel begged, eyes tearing. "You could try and be our matchmaker!"

Marisa attempted to sit still and not break out in laughter over the sheer ridiculousness of L'Arachel's plea. She wanted her to be their matchmaker? Probably she would succeed on the day all of Jehanna bows down to her. Considering that she was a princess in name and not elected by the people, that day would probably never come.

"I'll try," she said hesitantly. Looking at L'Arachel's overjoyed face, she felt a little guilty, since she knew that she would never even attempt the task, let alone succeed. It was not that she refused to help L'Arachel; it was more of a question of if those words could ever pass her lips. She was not born to discuss these things, and she had zero experience in these matchmaking issues.

Wasn't L'Arachel supposed to be the stereotypical matchmaker?

"Alright then!" L'Arachel jumped around the room in joy. "Thank you SO much, Marisa! You're the best! I hereby elevate you to the status of 'best friend forever bff'!" She gave a radiant guileless smile.

Rennac was waiting outside when they came out. "Your husband went off to do some official stuff," he snickered. "That man really hates my guts. We had a verbal spar for half an hour, imagine!" He threw up his hands. "My princess, would you kindly wait for me in the Hall of Equanimity please? I would like to spend some time with my friend here to discuss some…issues…"

L'Arachel pouted. "You can't slip away like last time again at Renais Castle okay! You must come okay! PLEASEEEEEEEEE…"

"Okay okay, I'll go…" he promised as L'Arachel whooped in glee and went out of the room. "Heck, that woman will be the death of me!"

Marisa leant against the couch and stared at him inquiringly.

"I heard your father died," he started. "My condolences."

She nodded, but waited for him to continue. He did not ask her to stay just to comfort her over her father's decease. He was not a man who cared for the lives and deaths of others. He was a selfish man through and through, and he harboured his own wants.

"I propose that you leave with me," he suggested, placing his hands amicably on his knees.

What? Rennac and L'Arachel now seemed to be a natural pair; they never failed to astound her with their outrageous statements.

"If you really want to know, your husband left to find that healer Natasha," he explained bluntly. "Obviously he does not care a whit about you. I was thinking you and I could abscond together."

"Abscond. With you." Is he mad to suggest such a scheme? It was crazy, daring, and nonsensical and the product of a mind made delusional by wine.

"You know, I was expecting a yes or a no." He fingered a gold trinket shaped in a shoe that was placed on the mantelpiece. "We could fill our purses with all those baubles they have in their treasury and all around their palace, then flip over the wall and run. Your husband will be too busy with his tête-à-tête with his lover to know, and L'Arachel…well…she's safely out of the way. The servants certainly, as proven by past experience, are more or less blind. No one will know."

"That's outrageous." Their treasury…their palace…it is my treasury and my palace as well, and he expects me to rob my own house? "We scarcely know each other."

"I'm wounded," he said, feigning a sharp pain in the chest. "I probably know you better than that husband of yours."

…How much exactly did she know about Joshua? And how much did he know about her? If her estimates were correct, it certainly was not an impressive amount. "You don't love me."

Rennac laughed. "And that husband of your does?" He threw her a calculated look. "I don't love, Marisa, anything besides money. Certainly, my prompt of forsaking your husband is not a ploy of passion or desire. You and I could be very good partners at work. We can become very rich, Marisa, very rich beyond your wildest imaginations." He placed the tiny gilded shoe into his pocket slowly. "Weigh the options Marisa. You could stay in the palace with your faithless husband and live a life of boredom and misery, pining for love. Or, you could leave with me, to freedom, glamour and wealth. Money can buy you love," he smirked. "Trust me."

She felt as though suddenly, someone had thrown her into a pit of darkness. First, L'Arachel tells her that Joshua loves her. Next, Rennac contradicts everything L'Arachel just said by telling her Joshua was having a rendezvous with Natasha, who was presumably his alleged lover.

No, Joshua doesn't love you, she thought wildly. You're a fool to even believe L'Arachel's words for one second. She's the one who thinks the whole world loves her!

Life in the palace was, as Rennac had accurately summarized, boring and dull. There was nowhere where she could employ her talents, and she often feared that soon her skills with a sword would atrophy into nothingness. Joshua had attempted to keep his promise to spar with her, but his schedule was so busy that every night, he tumbled onto their bed and fell asleep almost immediately.

Should I go? The picture Rennac had painted with deeply enticing. It whispered of fountains of golden coins, mountains of jewels and gemstones of every kind, and an exotic adventure that would take them, two daring thieves, from the shining streets of Rausten to the quaint pebbled roads of Frelia.

After so long without setting for an adventure, her heart ached for the sense of thrill and excitement.

Yes! She thought resolutely. I should go. There is nothing left for me in this castle. If I go, I can still see Gerik and Tethys, Ewan and Saleh. They would be happy for me too.

But Joshua…she shook her head. He was messing around with her mind.

Ignore him, he's not worth it, she chided herself mentally. He doesn't even love you. Besides, he has Natasha to keep him company.

The picture of Joshua feeding her porridge in their bed resurfaced in her mind. Involuntarily, her heart clenched. She would miss him, wouldn't she? He had been playing a large role in her life in the past six months. It was almost as if she had grown…comfortable with him.

Go! There won't be another chance like this. Escape!

She thought of his long hair, fanned out against the pillows as he slept.

Hurry! There's not much time left! Tell Rennac that you will go with him!

She felt his warmth surrounding her, his arms around her waist, his chest pressed tightly against her back as he slept.

Could you stop giving yourself these images about Joshua? You're starting to act as though you are in love with him!

She recalled his lips against hers, his tongue slipping into her mouth gently as he pressed her tightly against him.

NO, you are NOT in love with him! I forbid you!

She remembered his musky scent, the one that enveloped her whenever he embraced her. It was the scent that currently perfumed their bedroom, and for some unknown reason that she could not fathom, the bedroom had become one of her favourite places in the last month.

You…are hopeless. Go with Rennac.

No.

Yes, leave with him, now.

I'll regret it.

You'll regret it the day Innes stops quarreling with Ephraim. GO.

I can't. I don't think-

There's nothing left to consider. There's nothing left to even think about. Just go and make yourself happy for once.

Should I? I should right?

Yes.

Yes.

YES!

Yes, go.

GO!

Go?

GOOOO!

"NO!"

Rennac dropped the bauble he had been fingering. It smashed onto the carpet, creating an expense of broken crystals. "No?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No…" she repeated hesitantly. She was losing a chance; she could almost feel the opportunity slipping through her fingers as she rejected his offer. She was throwing away the golden key to freedom, would another ever come again?

"You sure?" He took the rejection easily, pocketing another trinket.

"Yes," she said, but her voice was trembling like a leaf in the autumn winds. Even she herself did not believe in her own answer.

Rennac shrugged casually. "I'll come back and ask another time. Maybe you've changed your mind by then, Marisa." He paused. "Just wondering, why won't you leave?"

"Because…" She hesitated from where she was leaving through the door. "I…I…" Because I'm in love…with Joshua… "Put back all those things you stole and get out. L'Arachel's waiting for you."

I'm…in love with…Joshua…

She walked jerkily through the corridors, not stopping once to return the greetings of the maidservants and attendants who walked past her, bowing.

The revelation of her own realization had rendered her speechless and senseless, incapable of doing anything but wandering around aimlessly through the corridors.

I'm…in love…with Joshua…

She now knew what L'Arachel meant when she said "I'm in love…you know those kind of things…like this sudden revelation?" She understand why L'Arachel was so distressed, so perturbed and so anxious. Knowing that you loved someone who did not return your affections similarly was a deep emotional sensation.

She empathized with L'Arachel. Personally, she felt like wringing her hands and pacing around the corridors as well until she found a solution to her problems of the heart.

Her lower lips trembled. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably. Her whole body was shivering, not from the cold, but from the new sensation.

She felt as though she had been plunged into icy water and boiling oil at the same time. She felt as though a large hand was mercilessly kneading her heart like it was nothing but a cheap piece of dough. She felt as though the biting autumn winds from Frelia had blown all the way to Jehanna, and were tearing through her body at this very moment. She felt as though all the light had drained from her world, leaving only a shadowy darkness and her lonely self stood in the pitch darkness, with no one to call to. She felt…tired, depressed, solemn, anxious, worried, nervous, pained and haggard all at the same time.

She felt cheated, by fate, by time, by Joshua, by herself.

And Saleh…why could she not love him instead? If she had fallen in love with him instead, they could return each other's affections. They could return to their normal lives, perhaps marry and bring up a few children, live together till they were old and wizened.

Why? Why is loving someone so painful?

She leant heavily against the banister, ignoring the curious looks of servants and attendants who walked past. Stuffing her knuckles into her mouth, she bit down mercilessly on her own flesh.

Perhaps physical pain could cure emotional pain. Perhaps if she bit down harder on her own skin, she would feel less hurt and less lonely. Perhaps if she broke the skin of her knuckles, she could stop herself from crying.

The tears had already made their way down her cheeks, just as the blood seeped from her knuckles and the taste of iron flooded her mouth.

It was useless. Emotional pain triumphed over physical pain. The bitter lacerations on her heart easily trumped the broken skin and bleeding wounds she inflicted.

Slowly, painfully, she dragged herself on. She had to. She was the Princess of Jehanna, regardless of whether she was loved or not, and she could not stay out of her room crying her heart out. It would merely cause rumours and provide gossiping material for the servants during dinnertimes.

Every step felt as though a dagger stabbed through her heart.

Clenching her teeth, she made her way slowly towards her room.

Soon…soon…

It was the infirmary door.

Wearily, she lifted her head and cast a sweeping glance at the door. It was oak, and there was a red cross painted on the brown wood.

Indeed, it was the infirmary.

Voices. She could hear voices coming from inside the infirmary. One was low, mellow and sweet, the voice of the healer Natasha. The other was deep and smooth, like molten chocolate.

Joshua.

Her heart leapt as she pressed closer against the door, trying to hear what they were saying. Rennac had said that they were having their rendezvous. It was so wrong, but so tempting at the same time.

A cold flame burned steadily in her heart.

"So? What do we do about it?" It was Natasha. She sounded worried, and slightly anxious.

Silence. "We had better keep it a secret first. It would not be good for anyone if the news was leaked out," Joshua replied. There was the scraping of chairs and the shuffling of feet. "It would be a scandalous affair."

Secret? Scandal? Marisa hesitated, then pressed her ear against the door again. What exactly had they done?

"It would be expensive." Natasha sighed. There was the sound of glass against marble. She was examining the heal staves as they spoke.

"No doubt it would," Joshua agreed. He was pacing the room. "The food, accommodation, clothing…" he calculated. "But money is no issue. I believe the cost would be affordable given my current allowance."

There was a loud 'chink' made by the heal staves. "But that would be taxing on you, Joshua," Natasha hesitated. "Your current allowance isn't very much, and you have to share it with your wife."

"She hardly asks for anything," Joshua replied dismissively. "Most of her wants can be attended to by the palace attendants, so that portion of the allowance is saved and can be diverted for this cause."

Allowance? She narrowed her eyes. Joshua never mentioned anything about any allowance. As princess, she had always assumed that she would be given the luxury and comfort, but no money. So there is money? Why can he never tell me anything but always keep me in the dark! She frowned resentfully. And then he comes to the infirmary and tells Natasha everything!

The icy fire flared in her heart, the tips of the fire licking the walls of her heart.

"So it's possible?" Natasha sounded relieved. "Thank you, Joshua. I really don't know what I'll do without you."

I can answer that, Marisa thought darkly.

"Hardly. He's such a cute little baby, who can resist his little charms?" Joshua cooed as a rattle sounded. "Here Henry! Aww…he's smiling!"

Momentarily, it was as though the entire world had collapsed onto her, knocking the air out of her lungs.

There was the sound of a baby giggling.

She gasped silently, clutching the banister for support. Taking deep gulps of oxygen, she attempted to keep herself from falling. She was afraid to close her eyes, as though the moment she closed them her world and her mind would be plunged into darkness and unconciousness.

A baby, she thought faintly. His child…Henry…a baby…Natasha…he…Joshua… a child…

The world seemed to be spinning around her. Struggling to keep her balance, she took a few unsteady steps away from the door.

Queen Isamire…her wish…fulfilled…royal heir…Joshua…Henry…Natasha…

Her brain pounded painfully.

A child…him and Natasha…a royal heir…

The migraine was back with full-force.

No…never…

Her breath was coming up in short sharp pants.

I…

She took a jerky step forward. A sharp pain shot through her heart. Trembling, she lowered her gaze. She could almost see the bloody tip of the invisible arrow that had pierced her chest and torn her heart asunder.

I love him…and…

No. She could not face the truth. It was before her eyes. She had heard their conversation, heard the baby burbling happily.

He betrayed me…his wife…Joshua…he…

Her hands trembled as she leant against the wall feverishly. The forehead was burning again.

Henry…

It was a good name.

The world spun.

Swiftly, without thinking, she ran. There was nothing left for her here except to run from the infirmary, run away from the secret she had just heard, pretend that nothing happened.

Nothing happened…I didn't hear anything…

The blood pounded in her head agonizingly.

Henry…

Author's Note:

As you can see, children, eavesdropping does not pay.

WTS, lol that is not working out. Yeah, as I said, I lost my planner, so I am like currently forsaken by fate. I'm trying to churn out the story from sheer memory alone. Yeah, but the details are crushing me. I think I'm already starting to forget some of my charcters. Damn.

MOAR drama.

MOAR sugar.

Yes, on sugar high.

Toodles!

~ snowylavendermist