My Beloved, My Betrayed
Chapter 2
Invader Zim is (c) Jhonen Vasquez, who, unfortunately, is not the hobo under my bed...
Beta: Mireia
Dib carefully opened the door of the Tallests' chamber, trying to be extra slow as to not attract any unwanted attention, despite the muffled noises coming from inside. As the door slowly opened, the noise, which was now identifiable as some sort of bouncy, squeaky music, intensified until it were at almost a deafening level. Cautiously, Dib slipped inside.
Instantly the music stopped. And both Tallest turned to see who had invaded the sanctity of their private chamber.
Tallest Red was draped over the arm of a rather large (and comfortable looking) couch. He seemed to be balancing half a dozen donuts on his forehead, and around his mouth was blue icing of some sort. For some reason, light pink bows decorated his antenna. In his hand was a remote control pointed towards some sort of large Irken stereo device.
Purple was hiding behind the couch, only his antenna and his arms visible. Sitting on his hands were two demented looking puppets, a heroic purple Irken of some sort – Dib assumed the puppet to be Tallest Purple himself – and a demonic humanoid creature that resembled Professor Membrane. Currently they were engaged in rigorous battle; that is, if rigorous battle consisted of one continuously whacking the other with his head. The Irken seemed to be winning.
Scattered around the two of them were various snack wrappers, toys, and other puppets, making the floor almost impossible to see.
"Uh... this isn't what this looks like..." sheepishly said the one clothed in purple. Red simply nodded, allowing all six donuts to fall off of his head.
"Saaaay – these are our special Tallest chambers. Just what are you not-the-Tallest-person doing here, anyway?" asked Tallest Red before he scrambled to pick up and devour his fallen donuts, earning a small flicker of disgust from Dib.
"My Tallest –"
"Yeahhh... we were having special Tallest time. What makes you think that you can barge in on us?" Purple interjected, mouthing his words through his puppet.
"But, my Tallest, I –"
"Why are you still here? Go on, scram..." Tallest Red lazily pulled himself off of the arm of the couch and bent down to grab a large remote with a single red button. He aimed it at the music device, ready to turn it back on again to an earsplitting volume.
"BUTALMIGHTYTALLESTIWASTOLDTOREPORTTOYOUASSOONASIMADEITTOTHEMASSIVE." Dib blurted out. Immediately realizing his possibly fatal mistake of talking back to the two monarchs of the Irken Empire, Dib winced; his false antenna flattening upon his head. Tallest Red and Tallest Purple were not known throughout the expanses of the universe for any acts of kindness and understanding. He had heard tales of how one of the Invaders during Operation Impending Doom II had been blasted into his conquered planet simply for being ugly. Quickly, Dib made a mental note that if he managed to survive, he'd have to ask Skoodge who the unlucky Irken was, and possibly how any Irken could be uglier than Skoodge was.
Instead of immediately damning him to the Irken variation of prison or throwing him out of the airlock, the two taller Irkens simply stared at Dib as if he had lost his mind.
"And you areeeeee..." Purple inquired as he floated closer to Dib, almost ready to poke him with a puppeted hand.
"Uh... My name's Skeeb..." Dib raised one of his armored hands and gave a small, nervous wave. "I was told that the two of you had been interested in my progress at Devastis and training at Hobo 13, and wanted me here on the Massive after I went off on my own a bit to... um... to learn about our glorious empire...?"
"Skeeb... Skeeeeeb... Skeeb..." Red mused to himself, trying to recall the name.
"Oooo! Ah re'e'her!" Shouted Purple excitedly while chewing potato chips that had seemingly appeared out of thin air; although more likely found on the incredibly messy floor. The puppets were still on his hands. Purple swallowed and repeated himself. "I remember! You know, that one time we went to check out all the little smeeties training to be cold, heartless killing-machines, and we were all 'Ohh! This one's tall!' and then we had some mozzarella sticks!"
"Yeahhh... those were some pretty good mozzarella sticks..." Red drifted into thoughts of snacks long past.
Seven minutes passed.
"Um... My Tallest?"
They both snapped back into reality. Tallest Red was the first to respond "Oh, right. Well, despite the fact you haven't actually had any real military experience, we feel that your highly notable accomplishments during training, as well as your impressive height, have earned you a high position in the strategic division of our military. Therefore, we'll allow you to obtain the rank of Brigadier General, as well as apprentice under our Elite General."
Red turned to Purple, to see if he had anything to add on, but Purple had his head in a chip bag. Red turned back to Skeeb.
"The control brain encoding of your new rank and assignments will clear up any confusion you may be feeling."
Dib's head was swimming. Brigadier General?! The concept of it was absurd. Beyond absurd. Sure, things worked differently in the Irken government, and many aspects of it were very different than that of Earth, such as height being such an important factor, but this was completely illogical. Many people worked their whole lives to achieve that rank – numerous not succeeding in it - and here he was, simply having it handed to him. Suddenly, the rapid churning of his mind came to a speeding halt. No. Not him. He had done nothing to deserve anything. Not anything at all. Skeeb; this was all meant for her, and here he was, taking all the glory she should have had. Despite the fact that Skeeb was the enemy: despite the fact that he was currently trying to destroy everything that she had believed in and stood for (and he knew, because the chip implanted into his brain with all her memories let him know): despite all this, Dib still felt a pang of guilt.
"Th-thank you, my Tallest." Dib gave a deep bow of respect and lingered at the lowest point. "This truly is an honor."
"Yes, yes, this is a very important day of your young life... you'll be notified when your PAK encoding is ready... Blah blah blah... Hurry it up! I wanna get back to my puppet show!" Tallest Purple whined.
Red patted his noisy counterpart on the head. "Don't worry, we're almost done. Then we can have more puppets." Purple clapped happily. Red waited until the other was done before he spoke to Dib again. "We should have someone to ready the onboard control brain in order to reprogram your PAK before the day is out." With the large remote still in hand, Red let out an excited shriek as he pushed the red button. The obnoxious, shrill music started blasting again. Dib took this as a sign that his presence was no longer wanted and sneaked out, softly closing the large door behind him
Outside was Skoodge, waiting patiently. Dib had to wonder if the hideous little Irken was waiting outside the whole time.
"So... Skoodge... ... ... what are you still doing here?"
"I told you – my orders were to guide you around the Massive... and I really have nothing better to do..." Skoodge said in a focused voice, showing the soldier he was. He started off in a march of sorts, expecting Dib to follow. The disguised human shrugged and followed the short Irken.
"And over here is a toilet. And in the stall next to it is another toilet. And next to it is..." Skoodge was currently pointing to a strange device that resembled a human toilet... well, if you squinted real hard.
Dib started twitching and had the incredible urge to rip his hair out in frustration. "I don't think they meant for you to point out every single toilet in the restroom when you were told to show me around." He was getting annoyed; it had already been two hours and the majority of that time was spent in broom closets and restrooms.
Skoodge tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Hmmm... well, I suppose you could figure what's in each stall on your own..." Dib nodded slowly, emphasizing his point. "Well... if you really want to, we could skip the tour of the storage facilities..." Dib nodded again, this time with more fervor.
The two walked down the many halls of the Massive in silence for another hour and a half, the only words spoken between them were from Skoodge pointing out various rooms of importance. Quickly becoming bored out of his mind, Dib decided to vocalize something that had been bouncing off the walls of his brains.
"That janitor; Zim... what's the story behind him? When I asked about him earlier, you acted as if it were some giant taboo subject. Something that had to do with the Tallest and them not wanting to remember it?" Dib pulled his face into a pout that he had seen human girls use when they wanted something. He hoped that it had the desired effect on the feminine Irken lips of Skeeb.
After a bit of thought, Skoodge caved in. "Fine, I'll tell you, but let's get somewhere that's emptier." He looked around, stressing the other Irkens who walked around them, also using the main hallway.
Skoodge led Dib to a small hallway, obviously not used or cleaned often, judging by the level of filth that had accumulated on the floor. He then pulled Dib into one of the rooms. It was small, empty, and equally filthy. "Ok, I think we can talk freely here."
Dib poked his head out the electronic sliding door to look down the hall. Finding it deserted, he pulled his head back in and carefully shut the door. "So... about Zim. What is with him? Why the secretiveness about all this?"
Skoodge briefly lost his intensity, slouched, and started twiddling his thumbs. "The Tallests, as well as the Control Brains, want to keep this knowledge a secret from the public, and have even gone so far as to block this information from going into the collective. The only reason I'm telling you this is because... there's some talk that you might become the next Tallest..." Skoodge quickly started talking again before Dib could respond to this new information.
"It all started when Zim was hatched out of the Smeetery. As soon as his PAK had received its first encoding, he immediately shoved the next smeet to be encoded up the chute from which it came, causing a backup which eventually resulted in the collapse of Irk's power and communications for five years-"
"Wait?!" Dib interjected, receiving information from the chip implanted into his brain. "You mean to tell me that Zim was responsible for Horrible Painful Overload Day?!"
Skoodge nodded, and then held up a hand to keep Dib from asking any further questions. "I'm not done yet. Ten years later, when Zim and I were going through our military training downloads, he wanted to see Irk's surface. Zim managed to convince me to go with him. When a Dermis Prowler Security Droid found us, Zim threw me at it, focusing its attention away from him. In attempts to catch me, the robot ended up causing massive explosions-"
"Resulting in Horrible Painful Overload Day Part II and Irk being plunged into darkness for four more years..."
"Yes. Then, afterwards he was transferred to Vort to participate in military research. While there he managed to generate a creature that ate both Tallest Miyuki and Tallest Spork."
Dib's mouth was hanging open in shock. THAT had been Zim as well?! Dib tried to put it in perspective for Earth culture. It would be the equivalent as the entire council of President-Men and Professor Membrane had died, not once, but twice.
Noticing Dib's expression, Skoodge nodded. "Yeah, I know. ANYWAY – Zim went on to Invader training where he just barely managed to pass. Then came Operation Impending Doom I... and we both know what happened then..." Dib nodded, his mouth still agape at all the mindless destruction that seemed to follow Zim around.
"WHY IS HE WORKING IN THE MASSIVE AFTER ALL THESE HORRIBLE CRIMES?!" Dib cried, complete with exaggerated gestures.
Skoodge poked Dib twice, trying to pull him out of his small fit of madness. "I'm not done yet."
Dib paused, his waving arms frozen in place. "Oh, carry on, then."
"Anyway, after the Impending Doom incident, Zim was reinstated as a food drone and banished to Foodcortia, where he remained until Irk pulled itself back together enough for Operation Impending Doom II. When news of the newest invasion reached Foodcortia, Zim left, disregarding his banishment, and headed towards Conventia for the Great Assigning. Not knowing what to do with him, The Tallests eventually made a deal with planet Meekrob, who, at that time did not belong to the Irken Empire, but were its allies and trading partners. They asked for them to destroy Zim, and, in turn, would be safe from any future Impending Doom operations and from all other conquest."
"But wait, we own Meekrob. We went through a small war to gain dominion over them. Are you saying that the Tallest lied to them?"
"Let me finish! So Zim was sent to "invade" the Meekrob. Although his plans for dominating the planet always failed, as did all Meekrob's plans to destroy Zim, somehow everything always ended in some sort of horrible explosion and massive devastation. Eventually, the Meekrob began to believe that the Tallest had lied to them, and sent Zim not to be destroyed, but to actually conquer their planet, or at least ravage it and make it easy for Irk to invade. They declared war on our empire. Many vessels were called out of the organic sweep in order to fight the oncoming Meekrob forces, causing Operation Impending Doom II to go much slower than originally planned, and afterwards, it immediately rushed to Meekrob. That's one reason the Armada never made its way to Invader Tenn's planet for revenge after she was captured and destroyed, like they normally would have..."
Dib spoke up again, simply to stay in character. "In retrospect, it should have. Then Earth wouldn't have gotten so powerful with that stolen technology."
Skoodge nodded. "But we're talking about Zim here, not the Irthenoids. With the full Armada at Meekrob, victory was Irk's for the taking, but we still suffered heavy casualties. The Smeeteries had to work overtime in order to replenish Irk's population."
"But, if he's done all these horrible things against the Empire, even if accidentally, why hasn't his PAK been drained?" Dib asked the small Irken.
"Will you stop asking questions and just let me finish?! ... I mean... I was just about to explain that, my Taller..." Skoodge was beginning to lose patience with Dib's constant questions. It was already risky enough that he was giving away this precious info. The Irken simply wanted to get it over with.
"Oh, sorry... I'll try not to interrupt again..."
"Alright, after the Irken-Meekrob war, the Tallests felt it was time to get rid of Zim. They sent him to Judgmentia and personally oversaw an Existance Evaluation. In the end, with all these disasters coming to light before them, the Control Brains declared him a defective." Skoodge paused for dramatic effect.
"But why-" Dib received a dark look. "Oh... sorry."
"When they began to drain his PAK data, it was so corrupt that it caused them to go insane. The data was returned, and Zim was allowed to go free. The conditions of the Brains were so severe, they had to replace them.
"The Tallests, disgusted with their new knowledge of the extent of Zim's destruction, as well as the fact that their most powerful Control Brains were not capable of destroying him - having it go the other way around – first tried to hire well known assassins to kill him. After the mercenaries' failures, they decided that to place Zim in a maximum security prison." Dib raised an eyebrow, curious as to how he managed to escape one of those.
"Zim stayed there without major incident for several years, until a mysterious, horrible explosion destroyed everyone and everything in the prison – except for him. He was moved to another prison, where, a few months afterwards, the same thing happened.
"The Tallests then tried abandoning him on a few deserted planets, but somehow every time various groups managed to find him and return him to civilization.
"Realizing that they couldn't think of anything that would work, the Tallest put some of Irk's greatest minds together in order to see if they could find a fitting punishment. The general consensus was to place him in job so horrible, so lowly, so brain-numbing, that he would be miserable and unable to do much of anything else. They agreed upon the rank of janitorial drone. After all, Zim constantly made his own messes; it was only fitting that he would be eternally forced to clean up other Irkens'. If he was stationed on the Massive, then there would always be powerful soldiers to keep a close eye on him, just in case.
"Tallest Red was, at first, very wary of this idea, but Tallest Purple was all for it. Eventually, Tallest Red gave in, unable to think of anything himself, and allowed Zim to work as a janitorial drone here. He's been here for about twenty years, and so far there hasn't been any large-scale damage." Skoodge sighed, finally finished with his story. "Now do you have any questions?"
Dib put his finger to his chin thoughtfully. "I think it's kind of strange that after causing so much destruction that Zim was placed close to much of the large-scale weaponry."
"Yes, but he's not allowed near those, and there are guards stationed only to make sure that Zim doesn't get close."
"Yes, but-" before Dib could finish, a beeping came from Skoodge's PAK.
"Excuse me, ma'am, but I need to take this..." A lengthy arm emerged from the ugly Irken's PAK, and a holographic image of a communications officer was emitted from it. Skoodge once again resumed his military-esque intensity and snapped into a sharp salute. "Personnel Skoodge reporting, sir!"
"Skoodge, you are needed in meeting room 293B of wing 523."
"Sir, I was already instructed to allow Taller Skeeb to be better introduced to the ship." Skoodge said, his salute still in effect and unwavering.
"This takes precedence. Please report to the assigned meeting room." The hologram flickered out of existence.
Dib allowed his holographic lekku to raise in question.
"I'm sorry, Taller Skeeb, but I have to attend to this... whatever I have to do... You remember the way back into the main hall, right?" Dib nodded "Well, just take a right once you get there, follow down the third hallway on your left, and that will be the living quarters. Someone there should be able to tell you where yours will be. Good luck!" He gave Dib a small salute, opened the door, and scurried down the hall.
Dib slowly exited out into the empty hallway as well, after Skoodge was long-gone. Despite the fact that this hall was obviously not used too often, Dib still took his time observing the structure. The walls were very high and a dark reddish-purple color. Up on the ceiling was a mass of dark, ominous looking tubes and wires snaking their way down and out of the hall. Despite the shortness of the Irken race, the hall seemed to focus on immense height, with even the doors being taller than those back on earth.
As Dib focusing on the doors, he realized he could faintly hear a voice through one. Despite the muffling of it through the metal, he could tell that the owner was obviously shouting loudly, based on the sheer amount of energy within the sound. After a bit of listening, he managed to discern which door it was. The disguised human put his ear to the door.
"But... ... ... Lard-Nar, I... ... ... yes, I managed to retrieve... ... ... ... suspect nothing... You forget, that... ... ...amazing because I am ZIM!!!... ... the Resisty... ..."
Dib heard all he needed to hear, and quickly left into the main hallway before the owner of the nasally voice discovered him listening, knowing that somehow, he managed to get himself into something much larger than he initially thought by taking this mission...
IS IT TRUE? IS THIS AN UPDATE!?
Yes, my readers, it is. I can feel your excitement; it's absolutely stifling. ...Hey, I warned you I'd update sporadically.
I figured, because this is a slightly futuristic AU, the ones in charge of Earth would be an alliance called the "Council of President-Men." Admit it – it's amusing.
Anyway – I'm really thrilled with all the positive feedback I'm getting. This is far more than I expected, which is absolutely great!
Thank you SharpiesInAGayRainbow, qadgiqfkbgf, IndigoClockwork, microwaved noodles, fanfictionfan123, BarkingPup, anonymous, DTGC, ffnetlover, LoneHowler, Yeyana Valentine, and Rambie for reviewing! Keep them coming; I feed off of reviews much like a leech feeds off blood... I just can't stop sucking on them... It's really becoming an addiction...