Sookie awoke with a thunderous ache in her head and a tightness in her chest. Her eyes burned painfully and as she swung her legs over the side of her bed she struggled with the disconcerting effects of vertigo for a few seconds. Forcing herself to get up, she stumbled over to her window and took a cautious peek outside. She hissed in agony at the bright flash of sunshine that hit her and quickly backed away from the glow. When her legs hit the bed she let herself slump onto it and snickered, mentally scolding herself.

'Guess I've been hanging out with vampires too much.'

As quickly as her mirth had emerged it vanished as the painful revelations of the week before came rushing back to her. The weight on her chest intensified so much that she clutched her hand to her heart and gasped. For a second it had been so easy to forget that her world was in shambles. She gazed at her rumpled pillows and sheets and considered crawling back into bed for the day. In all honesty, what was the point of getting up?

Just as her head hit the pillow, her phone let out a shriek. Eying the device across the room, Sookie pulled her blanket over her head in determination. The phone continued its shrill call and she continued to ignore it. Finally, her machine clicked on.

"Sookie? Hi, it's me." Sam. "Listen cher, I know you've had a lot going on and you've been too busy to work but I'm really stuck her today." Sookie poked her head out from under the blanket, the static in her hair making it swirl in front of her eyes.

"Arlene called out because one of the kids is sick and with Tara gone it's just…I know you're busy. I'm real sorry to bug you like this." A long pause. "I was just hoping that maybe you're free today to come in and work until close?" Sookie's sigh sounded as if it emerged from the depths of her soul but she forced herself to stand and pad over to the phone. "I'm real sorry," Sam was repeating emphatically.

"Sam." Sookie's voice was still crusted with sleep and tears.

"Sookie!" The relief in Sam's voice was evident and she could almost hear him make the decision to ignore the husk of grief in her tone. "So good to hear you cher! Look, I know this is probably a bad time but,"

"I'll come in Sam. Don't worry."

"You will? Oh that's great, Sookie, really great! You're a real life saver here."

Sam was rambling on happily but Sookie just whispered, "Okay see you soon" and gently placed the phone back in its cradle even as Sam's voice chirped out the other end.

Although she had spent the better part of the last week in bed, the exertion of the short conversation almost brought her to her knees. It was mostly knowing that she had to face the world today, that she had to put up her shields and hear people's happy thoughts and people's evil ones and serve them while all she really longed to do was shut herself off from everything and everyone forever.

Going into the bathroom she stared hard at herself in the mirror and attempted to steady her nerves. She tried to think about what Gran would have said to her in this situation. Peering at her reflection, Sookie took in her greasy hair and blood-shot eyes. She raised her arms slowly. Great, she smelled to high heaven too. Shaking her head she began to brush her teeth. What Gran would have said, she decided, was to stop wallowing and get a move on. Sure her one and only boyfriend whom she had loved had lied to her and endangered her life, sure their entire relationship was based on lies but…she paused mid-brush stroke and glanced longingly into the other room at her bed.

She turned back to the mirror and looked herself dead in the eyes. 'But,' she told herself, 'I'm still here. I've still got me.' Feeling a bit encouraged she attempted a smile and although it didn't reach her eyes, it lifted her spirits and she pulled her nightgown over her head and stepped into the shower. Life was still going on out there. She leaned her head back so the water flowed down her body. Life. Life.

Merlotte's was humming with activity that afternoon and Sookie found herself easily falling back into the routine. Her perky smile stayed plastered to her face and she consciously added an extra bounce to her step to make her ponytail swing around her neck.

As she placed an order at the window her attention was drawn to the television where a news anchor drawled on about the Vampire Rights Amendment being taken to the Supreme Court.

"I mean this is social injustice we're talking about here!" A protestor on the screen lamented. "Many of these vampires are older than any human is. They helped build this country and now we're taking away their rights? What's next-"

Sookie angrily switched the station over to a fly fishing show. Taking away their rights? What about my right to the truth? To a normal life? She seethed.

"Girlfriend, you alright?" Lafayette's long lashes blinked at her from the kitchen.

"Oh yeah I," she faltered for a moment. "I'm just sick of vampires right now is all."

Lafayette arched an eyebrow. "Well go on girl. You get yours." Sookie's smile felt more like a grimace and she picked up a plate and whirled to deliver it. "Hey Sook," She turned back. "You ain't heard from my cousin have you?"

Sookie placed the plate back on the ledge and lowered her eyes. "No I," she sighed. "I haven't. Have you?" Lafayette shook his head slowly. "We haven't been on the best…I mean she was…" Sookie struggled to find the right words. "I wasn't a very good friend to her. She was mad at me and I was mad at her and, and we just haven't been talking much. I thought things were going to get better, but then she left." She paused and looked up. "I'm sorry."

Lafayette looked thoughtful as he flipped a burger. "That girl, she has a lot a demons she's runnin' from. She be back." The assurance in his voice brought tears to her eyes but she nodded briskly and served a table their food. She vowed she wouldn't fall apart at work.

By the end of her shift Sookie's head was thundering again but this time it was the familiar ache of her mental shields and she welcomed the assault. The routine of the day had felt good and she even found comfort in the normalcy of this pain. 'Caused by me being abnormal' she though wryly as she drove home.

As she got out of her car, she stood in the driveway and regarded her silent house. There was a time not too long ago where this place had been full of love and laughter. A time when coming home from work she would walk into Gran reading a romance novel on the couch and a comforting home-cooked meal waiting in the oven. After Gran had died Bill had become her family and she had felt warm and safe in his cold embrace. She wasn't sure if she could have gotten through her grandmother's death if it hadn't been for Bill. Then again, if it hadn't been for Bill her grandmother would probably still be alive. Shaking herself from these dark thoughts she went inside and made herself a cup of tea.

Curling up in the old armchair, she switched on the television and let herself be pulled into the swirling, light-hearted chaos of a romantic comedy.

Later, as the movie drew to a close, she reflected once again on her own love life. Her handicap had prevented her from having any serious or meaningful relationships before Bill, and as she reviewed the courtship she marveled at how fast it had progressed. She had fallen head over heels for him almost immediately, like a love-sick teenager, like someone with little experience who was so unjaded she could easily be taken advantage of.

Wrapping her hands around her mug she couldn't help but shake her head. Now that the utter shock and pain were beginning to lessen slightly, the seeds of anger and embarrassment emerged within her. It must have been so easy for Bill to make her love and trust him. He really must have gotten a laugh over it. Give her a bit of the old blood and a tender look and presto! Ladies and gentlemen we have a sucker.

She should have known better. She should have listened to Tara. Her heart ached at the thought of her best friend and the neglect the friendship had received over the past months. 'Just when Tara needed me most,' Sookie mourned. 'Just when I needed her most, we weren't there for each other.' Tara had known right away that Bill wasn't to be trusted. She saw right through his ruse of good manners and his handsome face. She knew no vampire could be trusted.

At this angry thought Sookie's mind drifted inevitably to Eric. She thought bitterly of the way he had snarled at her in Russell's house and used her as bait for the old king, at the way he had forced her to be bitten by two vampires and locked her up in his sadistic basement. She thought also of the way he had joked with her on her front porch before the whole mess got out of control, how he had protected her from the werewolf and worried about her. She remembered the longing look in his eyes as he towered over her in his office and the passionate yet surprisingly gentle way he held her as they kissed. She could almost still feel his expert lips working against her own, one hand tangled in her hair the other clutching her desperately closer. It had been easy to see the apology in his eyes before he bit her and she had been grateful, even in her terrified state, of his reassuring strokes of her hair while he and Russell fed. And then he had attempted to sacrifice himself, would have, in fact, had she not stopped him, for revenge yes, but also for those he cared about: Pam and, she suspected, herself. She had roared angrily at him when he delivered the message of Bill's lies, but although that night was a blur of emotions and events, she remembered vividly his expression when he apologized for hurting her with the truth. How could someone be so simultaneously evil and scheming while being caring and truthful?

Realizing that Eric was too complicated a subject to think about at this time, Sookie rose and rinsed out her mug then headed off to bed. No doubt it would be another night full of tossing and turning and thinking about the only lover she had ever known who revealed himself to be a dark stranger and the frightening unknown of another vampire who seemed time and time again to be her only ally.

She dreamt of her mother and father for the first time in years. She watched from afar as waves rushed over the bridge and filled their car. She saw her father pull at her mother, trying desperately to tug her free of the vehicle, and then like a monster the water rose to engulf them and drag them into its abyss.

She awoke abruptly, her skin clammy and sticky with tears. Sitting up and wrapping her arms around herself she let the sound of her own breathing lure her into a calm. Then, she heard it again: the sound that had woken her up. Someone was banging on her door, a loud, practiced rap that rang through the house sternly. Glancing at her bedside clock she saw that it was nine in the morning. She wrapped herself in her bathrobe and cautiously opened the door.

"Andy?" The surprise was evident in her voice and he looked agitated. He squinted and shifted from foot to foot and scratched the back of his balding head impatiently.

"Well is he here?"

"Who? Bill?" She asked stupidly and Andy snuffled out a breath and adjusted his belt.

"No. Jason."

"Jason," Sookie repeated slowly, her mind still hazy from sleep. "Jason? No. What… why are you looking for Jason?"

Andy shook his head and tried to peer around her into the house. "That's official police business Ms. Stackhouse. But you know if you're hiding him you'll be in trouble." His voice was gruff and angry. Taking a step closer, Sookie let down her guard.

'Goddamn idiot. First he goes and warns those lowlifes about the raid. Then next thing you know the whole damn town's empty and the fool's nowhere to be found!'

"Raid?" Sookie asked feeling her stress level rising steadily. "What raid Andy? What has my brother gotten himself into? Where is he?"

Andy looked chagrined. He considered not saying anything else but then blurted, "I don't know. He's up and disappeared along with the rest of those hill billy drug dealers."

"Drug dealers?"

"This is serious, Sookie. The DEA is in on this. People are coming down from New Orleans. Jason, he, he got involved in something he shouldn't have. If he wants a chance to come out relatively unscathed he better show up and soon."

He left shortly after, convinced by her dramatic state that she knew nothing of her brother's whereabouts. Sookie shut the door to block out Andy's retreating figure and leaned against it. 'Oh Jason what have you done?'