A/N: I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE.
I wasn't feeling funny at all lately and the whole parody aspect of things just wasn't rolling for me. However now…It's back!
Thank you so much for reviewing and I hope no one hates me for taking so long.
Read, review, enjoy!
When applause for Annabeth's rap died down, Chiron looked around.
"Has anybody seen Katie?" he asked, checking backstage and behind various curtains. "On second thought," he said, "I can't find Travis either. Maybe I don't want to know…"
"Uh…" said Grover. Everyone crowded around where he stood.
Katie and Travis were in the pit under the stage, smooching.
A lot.
Chiron coughed awkwardly, "Um" he said, "Katie?"
"Shut up, I'm busy," said Katie, momentarily breaking away from Travis' lips.
"You're disqualified."
"Pinecone."
"What?"
Her meaning was apparent when a pinecone dropped from a tree onto Chiron's head. His response was to mumble incoherently and close the hole in the floor back up.
"Well," said Chiron, "Since Katie's," he cleared his throat, "Busy, and Grover got disqualified because of his girlfriend," At this, Grover glared at Juniper, who was busy conversing with one of her tree nymph pals, "I guess the final three are Beckendorf, Percy and Annabeth."
Annabeth tapped her fingers together evilly, "He, he, he," she said with an evil laugh.
The camp turned to stare at her. "What?" she asked.
"Evil doesn't look good on you, Annabeth," said Percy, who was obviously lying because WE ALL KNOW that he thinks she always looks fantastic.
Annabeth decided right then and there that her rap was going to be so epic that her first rap was going to pale in comparison, like Percy's pale white butt.
She giggled.
"I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE LAUGHING ABOUT," said Percy, "AND SERIOUSLY, I WAS WEARING UNDERWEAR."
"Sure…" said the entire camp in a chorus that sounded rehearsed. In reality, they'd just had this conversation so much that it felt like they'd gone over this a million times.
"I HATE ALL OF YOU," yelled Percy, folding his arms and sitting down in the center of the stage.
"Well," said Chiron, "Since Percy is being a child about pretty much everything and he's already center stage, he'll freestyle first. Go ahead, Percy."
"NO!" said Percy, frowning.
"Percy," said Annabeth, "Stand up and start rapping, or I will hit you with my shoe."
At that, Percy stood up, spun around, and miraculously was wearing some shockingly rapper-esque clothing.
"Um…" said Annabeth, confused.
"GET OUT THE WAY, BITCH."
Annabeth was so startled she backed off of the stage and landed on the ground on top of some poor younger half blood, who was just so happy to be near a female that he didn't even complain. Percy began his rap.
"I am Percy, hear me roar,
This is Annabeth, she's a bore!"
Annabeth from the ground threw the shoe at Percy, but he, with super ninja gangsta powers, managed to avoid it. It pegged Grover in the stomach instead. The satyr watched it hit him, then fall to the ground, then shrugged and took a bite.
"Ew," said Grover, shuddering slightly, "Vans."
"At least it's not New Balance," said Chiron sympathetically.
"Annabeth thinks, and thinks a lot,
And I think she's cool, and really hot,"
The entire camp froze. Everyone was staring at Percy, who quickly did the Percy thing and changed the subject before any ground could be made on the subject. Annabeth, on the other hand, was so unpleasantly used to people commenting on her looks that day that she was ready to throw a bagpipe at a chicken wing and call it a day.
"When she's in a fire, she's so toasty,
And that's what I mean by hot, just roasty,
And by cool I meant, well, under water,
Of course she'll be cool not hotter,"
Annabeth glared at Percy. Oh her revenge would be sweeter than apple pie.
Which she had an inexplicable craving for out of nowhere.
Why didn't Camp Half Blood serve pie? She needed to ask somebody about that.
"And Beckendorf here, well he's a beast,
When we have small dinners, he has a feast,
He scares me sometimes cuz he's so buff,
And his girlfriend, there's some hot, hot stuff,"
Beckendorf glared at Percy who, again, backtracked. Percy began to fall over himself trying to get away. Beckendorf strode towards him with a look of such anger Annabeth began to fear for, not only Percy's boy parts, but for everyone in the camp's life.
"If she's on a stove, she's hot, like a lot,
And…Something that rhymes with lot,"
Beckendorf, startled at the horrendous lyric, stopped in his tracks and ceased his mission to end Percy's life. Everyone gave Percy one of Annabeth's characteristic wow-you're-a-moron looks, which she was a little uncomfortable with, because it was HER signature look. Not theirs.
"Hey, look at that, that wasn't good,
It didn't really rhyme just like it should,
But remember I'm better than Annabeth,"
Annabeth glared at him and stormed towards him from side stage, and he quickly improvised the next line quite impressively.
"And that last line will cause my death,
I'm running out of time that's true,
But always remember: never throw shoes!"
Percy's rap was such an abomination that, despite his end-of-the-rap moral, the entire camp had to dig through the pile of heels, sneakers and various other shoes to find him at the bottom.
"WAIT!" he screamed, miraculously becoming clothed in normal Percy clothing again. "Wait, I can fix this!" He stood up and ran towards the middle of the stage. "Let me try again!"
Beckendorf clocked him over the head with the Season One DVD set of Glee, and Percy fell over.
"Never objectify my beautiful and perfect girlfriend again, nerd."
"I'm sorry!" said Percy, whimpering slightly and rubbing the lump on the top of his head, "But that wasn't me! That was, um…" The whole camp looked at him expectantly. "My alter ego Thecy!"
"Thecy…?" asked Annabeth, giving him her signature look. "What the heck does THAT stand for?"
Percy stood up, looking disgustingly heroic, "Theseus. My supah fly badass alter ego. It's who I am if I need to whip an awesome rap out of nowhere."
Annabeth rolled her eyes, "Then he wasn't there for that horrible rap a second ago…"
Annabeth would have had to run from Percy's rage, but, luckily, Connor yanked down his pants again, Percy fell over, and every single camp member dropped to their knees in praise that he remembered underwear that time.
"THEY CAME DOWN WITH THE PANTS," yelled Percy, weeping bitterly on the ground.
A/N2: It's moments like these when I wish I knew people on fanfic…My friends and I have a joke that if someone wears New Balance sneakers, it's an automatic dealbreaker. Oh, New Balance…