My Beloved, My Betrayed

Chapter 7

"No! I absolutely refuse!"

"Agent Membrane! You knew you'd have to do this, and agreed to it when you were assigned this mission – we gave you special desensitivity training just so you could complete this task!"

Dib slammed his fist down upon the large computer as he stared angrily at the giant screen, the glowing image of his father reflected in his eyes. "You said that there might be a possibility that I'd have to do it – I was under the impression that it was a last-resort situation, not something mandatory!"

Both lightly danced around the subject, avoiding the dreaded word, as if avoiding the sound of it could erase it or at least make it less severe – less appalling an action.

"I refuse! It's... I am NOT going to CONSIDER mu-... THAT... upon members of my own race!" Dib bit his lip in disgust and stared angrily before speaking in a lower, somewhat more menacing tone than before. "I may have let you modify me in order to complete this mission, Dad. You may have given me extreme amounts of desensitivity training. You may have added an Irken PAK to me. You may have altered my physique, replaced my eyes, and even changed my body chemistry, BUT I STILL HOLD MY HUMANITY, which I consider to be The. Most. Important. Thing. that I possess on this mission. I am NOT to throw that away."

Professor Membrane glared – or, Dib assumed he glared. One could never tell what happened behind the man's large goggles. They only added another level of disconnect to his already strained relationship with his son. "We've already deployed our men. It will take several days for them to arrive at the Massive. Regardless of what you do, the outcome at our end will be the same. I'd advise that you remember what you're fighting for and make sure that the result is in Earth's favor."

This time it was Dib's turn to glare. He opened his mouth to say something, but, after some thought, closed it tight. There was no arguing with his father; Professor Membrane's word was absolute. With a sneer aimed towards his father, he switched the transmission off. Muscles tense, Dib finally relaxed and stood up as he leaned over the Irken keyboard; head down, arms on the table for support, shoulders rounded. He took a few deep breaths before standing up fully again and looking upwards at the familiar tubes and wires above him.

"Zim, I know you're up there." He called.

The wires above the human shifted, and a small, lithe form fell through the tangle and effortlessly landed on PAK legs, followed by a small robot, which promptly fell on said form's head, destroying the effect of the graceful landing.

"How did you know that ZIIIIIIIIIM was up there?" the Irken inquired, as usual, putting stressed emphasis on his own name.

"Well, because 'ZIIIIIIIIIM's' robot minion kept giggling throughout the whole transmission to my father." Dib spat, adding little air quotes as he imitated the Irken. "I'm just praying that he couldn't hear GIR's squeals on his end."

"Ah was squeeeeeeealin' like an earth-piggeh'... IN AN IRON MAAAAAIDEN!" GIR half-screeched, half-giggled. Both his master and the human chose to ignore the robot's last statement.

"Zim... just… just leave. I'm not in the mood to put up with your antics right now." Dib grunted as he sat on the soft bed, hoping Zim would, just this once, pick up basic social cues.

Today was obviously not the day that Zim miraculously gained common sense. "Naw. I'm good right here... ... ... SOOOOO... What were you and your father talking about? TELL ZIIIIIM!..." Zim paused, trying to get a reaction out of Dib. The human simply around, as if he could make Zim disappear if the alien left his vision. The made the Irken twitch an antenna. "Hey!" Zim promptly marched to the other side of the bed, grabbed Dib's head, keeping the human from turning around again. "Answer Zim when he talks to you!" He poked Dib's nose with a hard jab.

"Ay! Stop that!" Dib knocked Zim's hands off of his face, glaring. "It's really none of your business, Zim. Besides, I told you, I'm not in the mood."

"I beg to differ, Dib-creature. I thought that we had an agreement, partner. It seems to me that it is entirely Zim's business. Why, how are we to work together towards the glorious fall of the empire if we insist on keeping secrets on important matters?" Dib continued his glare. Zim tried to coax him even more. "I was able to tell that the humans have something planned soon, and that you have a big part in it. Something... unpleasant." Zim smirked. "You know, Zim has had to do many an unpleasant thing – and enjoyed every second of it. If your constitution is too delicate for whatever task is asked of you, Zim could be of service..."

Dib turned around once again to avoid seeing Zim's zippered smirk. He was already in a bad mood, and seeing the Irken's gleeful face after insulting the human's pride only infuriated him more. "It's none of your business, you damn sadist! It's not that I'm weak; it's not that I'm afraid. In this crazy situation, the only thing that I have to hang onto is my own humanity…" He turned around to threateningly glare at Zim. "And I refuse to let that go!"

"Ah… but isn't humanity simply the state of being hyuu-man, Dib-creature? It appears to Zim that you have already met this criterion - for the most part."

"Humanity means more than just being- HEEEEY! What the hell do you mean by 'for the most part?'"

"Nothing." Zim seemed to answer entirely too quickly.

Dib narrowed his eyes. "I may have a PAK, but I am NOTHING like you Irkens!" Dib declared earnestly. "I am still a human, and still hold onto my human beliefs. That is humanity!"

"And yet, your father-unit seems to hold different beliefs than you do. Does that make him not one of your filthy hyuu-mans?"

Dib continued to stare in the opposite direction of Zim, seething. "Dad – I mean Professor Membrane –" Dib spat out his father's name as if it were a foul taste, "is entirely human as well. We just happen to have differing ideas on how I should carry out this mission."

"But which idea is the one that makes you hyuu-man? Your mouth-words contradict each other, Dib-stink. Do you mean to say that you and your spawn-maker are completely different species? Teeeeeeeell Ziiiiiiim!"

"No… I… er…" Dib stuttered, feeling Zim's completely unorthodox logic catch him off-guard. "Look, humanity is a human thing stemming from pride. You Irkens wouldn't get it. I mean, look at you, mercilessly killing off your own kind. You would never understand the complexities of humanity."

"So, the Membrane asked you to kill some hyuuu-mans and you're getting cold feet, huh?" Zim said with a knowing smirk.

"It's more complex than that, it's cold-blooded murd- Wait a minute! I never said anything about murder!"

"Ahh… but Dib-creature, you implied it… But look at your dirt-creature past! You hyuuu-mans used to fight each other constantly, always KILLING other members of your species off like the DIRTY STINK-MONKEYS they are, simply because they lived in different regions. Do you mean to say that your ancestors were not hyuu-man? If Zim is correct - and he always is - they claimed to possess this… this… hyuuu-manity ideal as well. Your view of your worm-baby race is too stiff."

Dib growled, irritated that, although he didn't want Zim to even consider the concept of murdering humans simply so that Dib wouldn't have to, the small Irken caught on anyway. As idiotic and annoying as Zim could be, he could prove to be clever. For Dib, it was one thing to kill members of an alien species, but as a member of the human race… Dib felt that he would never be able to forgive himself if he took part in murdering members his own species. "I swear, Zim…"

"YES! I AM ZIIIIIIM! And because I am Zim, my logic is INFALLIBLE!" Zim cried, almost instinctually from hearing his own name.

Dib's anger skyrocketed. The human grabbed the short Irken by the shoulders. "If you even DARE murder any of my species, Zim, god help you, I will personally TEAR your arms out of your sockets, BEAT you with them, RIP OUT your antenna, force you to EAT them, and then proceed to KILL you SLOWLY and PAINFULLY…" He said slowly, shaking the green, obnoxious creature for extra emphasis.

"GIR! PROTECT ZIIIIIIIIIIIIM!" Zim screeched louder than necessary, making Dib flinch from the high, nasally voice.

"Yes, my master!" The small robot, who, virtually ignored up until this point, gave a sharp salute accompanied with glowing-red eyes. In his usual awkward, straight-legged gait, GIR strode towards his master, snatched Zim out of Dib's clutches, and set the Irken down three feet away from the human's reach before reverting back to his regular cyan colored eyes and resumed his previous activity – attempting to eat his own head.

"HA HA! VICTORY FOR ZIIIIIM!" the Irken gloated.

Dib untensed his muscles and attempted to calm down from his rage, knowing that wouldn't accomplish trying to reason with Zim if he was filled with fury, although, the back of his mind told him that he probably wouldn't be able to reason with Zim in the first place.

After the mood had resumed to relative calm, Zim spoke up. "I may not know the specifics of your mission, but Zim does know this – it is obviously more detailed than simple information gathering. And you are right, Zim may not understand your concept of hyuuu-manity, but it is a concept based off of pride, and THAT I can understand. Don't worry, Dib-stink. Zim will not harm a FILTHY hair on any of your PATHETIC race's head. The role of hyuuu-man slaughter will be yours alone."

As much as Dib wanted to refute Zim's last statement, he held his tongue. This was probably the closest to reasoning with the Irken that he'd be able to accomplish on the matter. "Thank you… Zim," Dib said hesitantly.

"Yes, yes, Zim is amazing and very gracious." Zim declared, giving the expression of gratitude little thought. "NOW! So that Zim knows what he shouldn't interfere with, how exactly are you going to come across these humans, and how are you to annihilate them?"

Dib scowled. "I already told you. I'm not going to 'annihilate them.'"

"Yes, yes. I forgot. You human filth-creatures don't just kill each other. You murder."

It took all of Dib's self-control not to massacre the former invader right there. Zim was still making fun of his concept of humanity, Dib's weak spot. "Listen, you OBVIOUSLY aren't taking my situation seriously, so will you please leave? I need to be alone and think things through."

Zim, surprisingly, followed Dib's proposal and headed towards the door, but not before pausing right before he opened it and softening his gaze. "You know, Dib-filthy, no one knows more about killing their own for the greater good than Zim does. Destroying another Irken's PAK is the worst taboo the mighty Irken Empire possesses. The equivalent to your… Irthanoid… concept of murder. As insanely superior to all other races as Irkens may be, I have come to realize that my empire is under the wrong leadership, being led down the wrong path. Irk has become corrupt. Certain members must be eliminated, all permanent-like." Zim's face hardened again. "If it helps, Dib-creature, think of the ones you have to kill not as victims, but as casualties of war. Why not-"

Dib put his hand up, not wanting to hear any more. "That's enough, Zim. I need some space. Just… just... get out."

"Alright, Zim is leaving, but, just remember - the first kill is always the hardest – it gets easier from there." And with that, Zim quickly zipped out of the room.

"Yay! Iz jus' me an' ta' Flappeh!" GIR shrieked. Accidentally, Zim had left his insane minion behind. Dib promptly lifted the robot by the antenna, opened the door, and angrily flung him at Zim with the secret hope to give the Irken a concussion. He then swiftly closed the door. Suddenly emotionally drained, he slumped down and pressed his face into his knees, longing for a situation that wouldn't force him to compromise his morals this way.

Dib stared off into nothingness, trying to clear his mind, or at least get rid of the jitters in his stomach.

"Skeeb… SKEEB!"

"Huh – WHAA?" he exclaimed, toppling out of his obnoxiously tall chair onto the painfully not-soft floor. In typical Irken fashion, the height of the chair represented the rank and importance of the Armada intelligence heads. This was where Dib controlled Skeeb's brigade. Around him, the Irkens in chairs far closer to the ground relayed his commands to the brigade. Scattered about the room were similar "stations," as well as several large screens that displayed a variety of current information; the state of current conflicts, decrees from the Tallest, and the positioning of Irken military ships throughout the universe.

"You seem rather distracted, Skeeb." Dib, flat on his back, looked upwards at the voice's owner. General Tak, surrounded by a group of advisers, stood on a raised walkway, far above Dib's tall chair. They were too important to be on the ground floor with the lower-leveled communications officers.

Dib achingly pulled himself off of the floor. It was a bit of a fall, but he didn't sustain any serious injuries. He could feel PAK releasing nanites into his bloodstream to fix the bruising, anyway. "I'm sorry, General Tak. I was just thinking – the… uh… the human-Irthanoids… They… um… they've been rather quiet lately. They're planning something."

Tak frowned – Dib couldn't figure out if because of the apology, because of the humans, or because he called her "General Tak." It was probably a mix of all three. She motioned for Dib to join her up on the walkway. Dib stepped on a silver disc just large enough to stand on. The disc levitated upwards until he reached Tak and company. Dib advanced onto the walkway, leaving the disc to descend back down to the floor.

"We've managed to intercept a human transmission -"

Dib's heart pounded. "A-a transmission? From where? Who? Wha-what did it say?"

"As I was ABOUT to say, a transmission from the planet Vasq - where our intelligence has reason to believe that Membrane is currently located - to the planet Ressel. It appears that Earth is planning to knock out the Massive's communication matrix, and, in our confusion, attack the planets that aid Irk's infrastructure. Our sensors have picked up on a task force of Irthanoid ships currently headed in our direction."

"What type of ships?"

"We're not sure. The fact that we haven't even noticed them up until now and only after a very thorough sweep of the area verifies that they're stealth. They would still be under our radar if one of our officers hadn't found one of them emitting a low frequency. The nature of their goal leads me to believe that the task force consists of F-462 Spectre spacecraft, but their speed is slower than usual – there may be some other form of ship accompanying them. Regardless, they're close and moving closer."

"And how long do we have before they arrive?" Dib asked.

Tak ignored Dib's question and pulled a voice amplifier from her Pak. She aimed the thin metal rod to her throat and tapped a side-button with her thumb, causing a small laser to erupt from the tip momentarily. Dib quietly slipped back to his station, not wanting to draw attention to himself while Tak spoke to everyone.

Tak cleared her throat, a sound many times louder than it normally would have. All in the large room turned to look at her. She gave no opening statement – Tak didn't need one. She was, after all, second-in-command under the Tallest.

"Our sensors have picked up a task force of Earth ships located in quadrant four-nine-thirty-two-eleven, sector six-zero-forty-nine and headed towards the Massive. We have reason to believe they have the intent of cutting off our communications via electromagnetic pulses. Flobee, Larb, and Skeeb – you will deploy your brigades IMMEDIATELY to face this threat, and then come with me to discuss strategy. All others, bring reinforcements to the starboard side of the Massive and engage in defensive maneuver seventeen-two-four. The humans CANNOT reach the Massive. If they do, our communications system will collapse, making the ENTIRE empire prey to any further attacks. Do not fail."

As soon as it was clear that Tak had nothing more to say, an explosion of noise erupted across the room – orders being given. Dib sat in silence, completely removed from the chaos. Fuck! I thought I could squirm my way out of this, but Tak's got me cornered.

Dib felt eyes boring into him. After all – he was one of the three brigadier generals called out. Skeeb's lack of action was bizarre.

Dib inhaled deeply. Pull it together, Dib. Pull it together… he exhaled, pushing the air out of his lungs in an attempt to push the anxiety out of his body as well. He breathed deeply a few more times until he felt that he could function on a seemingly normal level.

All right – thinking clearly now… Let's see… If I let them succeed, then the Massive would have its communications down, which is a good thing, right? But that makes no sense. Dad ORDERED me to take them out. But, wouldn't it be better if the Massive were rendered helpless? I'd be able to easily steal information from the Irkens, as well as easily take out the Tallest, and maybe even Tak, a very real threat to Earth, if that were the case. So why would Dad ask me to defeat our men if the consequences of their success easily outweighed that of their failure?

"The outcome at our end will be the same…"

Unless… … … DAMN THAT MAN! They have no chance of succeeding! And he even took into account that I'd figure that out! Tak hasn't forced me into this – Dad had from the very beginning!

He exhaled one last time upon the realization, pulling the newfound panic out of himself. I'll have to do this. No other options…

Goddamnit…

"Engage contact with Colonel Krunk." Dib commanded in a stern, controlled voice, giving away nothing of the vestiges of panic that dwelled within him moments before. A giant, screen-like hologram containing the image of a medium-sized Irken with an underbite appeared before his station.

"My general-" the Irken Field Commander began, but Dib cut him off.

"We've just received orders – a task force of human stealth ships of unknown type is in quadrant four-nine-thirty two-eleven, sector six-zero-forty-nine. We have reason to believe that the enemy ships have large-scale electromagnetic pulse capabilities, and with them, plan to knock out all communications. We believe that the target is the Massive, so they will not actively try to engage you, but do not let that make our forces any less ruthless. Do NOT allow them near the Massive.

"Combine the brigade with those of Larb, Flobee, and Slacks upon arrival. Once we, on the Massive, retrieve more information, you will receive more orders."

The small Irken onscreen gave a sharp salute. "Yes, General Skeeb." Dib made a small motion with his hand and the transmission was cut.

Tak gave a nod in his direction, indicating for Dib to follow her. The other three generals were already on the raised walkway, following their elite general. Dib gave a nod in return, stood upon the silver disc once more, and followed Tak into another room in silence.

Tak had the three brigadier generals situated on a platform several feet tall. A hole in the raised area revealed a large, shiny, black, egg-shaped section of floor underneath them. Three Lieutenant Generals that Dib only recognized from Tak's regular general meetings were already stationed before their screens. Before each Irken were three transparent, floating screens. Underneath the raised area sat various communications officers, more screens located above them.

"Initiate hologram!" Tak declared. Immediately the screens before the generals blipped to life, and the black section of floor erupted raised, floating holograms. In shock, Dib jumped backwards, but the other Irkens stood still, expecting the image to appear; they had all done this before. A miniature Massive and miniature Irken Armada were projected in the round space between the generals. A grouping of blue-colored blips moved, in close formation, towards the holographic mothership. Dib inwardly grimaced, knowing already what they were.

"We need to know what we'll be up against; we already know that this is an Earth attack, and that they sent F-462 Spectres Those must be masking the signals of whatever other ships might be in the wing. Larb, send a small, disposable flight to engage them. Tell them to turn their visuals on so that we may know what those inferior humans are trying to attack us with this time."

"Right away, Ma'am!" Larb barked out with a sharp salute. He quickly began giving orders to the images on his screens. The frown on his face signaled that he very much hated having his force deemed the most "disposable."

The tension hung in the air as the entire room watched Larb's flight approach the human formation. The group of red Irken Spittle Runners inched towards the mysterious blue blips on the hologram. Time seemed to slow down. No one said anything.

Dib steeled himself for what would most certainly be a shattering of his moral code.

Finally, one of the communications drones broke the silence. "General Tak, visualization has been confirmed."

Well, ZADR fans – long time no see, eh? No excuses; this fic was put on hiatus for entirely too long, and I suck. I apologize.

That aside, I am currently working on chapter 8, which, theoretically, should be finished in much shorter time than it took me to finish this one.

Many thanks to the 35 people who reviewed that last chapter during my 2 year hiatus. You guys rock!