Incarceration
The state of being put in prison or in another place where one cannot escape.
It was one of those times when you wished the earth would open up and swallow you whole. In fact, even that was too mild. It was one of those times when you wished that you could just vaporize from the earth that instant with your name permanently erased from everyone's memory and all traces of your existence vanished along with your disappearance.
As I stood there like an idiot, blinking at the glowing sword in my hand, mask still on my face, dead body beside me, I cursed my own stupidity and rashness to the gates of Saint Latona's high heaven. In one swipe, I had given up my own identity, and now was that awkward situation that I had dreaded before I even considered coming here.
"Oh my gosh!" Darius appeared, clutching his chest. "An assassin!" He saw me standing with the sword in my hand. "Larissa! You saved Joshua! Are you hurt anyone? Did the assassin punch you anywhere? Did he bruise your eye? Did he? He didn't? Good! You sure?"
I waved him aside with a sigh. There was no way anyone could bruise my eye; I wore a stiff mask. "I'm still alive, am I not?"
A large man lumbered over. "Prince Joshua, you hurt anywhere? No? Sorry, the mad fellow dashed in from nowhere by the back gate, knocked the guards out. Sir Alexander's son, they say."
Gerik. I bit my lip to prevent myself from calling out to him. I hid behind Darius so that Gerik wouldn't see me, and focused instead on the dead corpse.
So this was Sir Alexander's son. I still remembered that traitor perfectly well. So now, I had killed both the father and the son.
Joy.
"I'll ask the servants to come and clean up," Gerik left, broadsword swinging from his hand. His glance swept across the crowd, but missed me.
Bless Saint Latona. For once in my life she helped me.
The orchestra started playing again, and everyone resumed their normal activities, as though nothing had happened. Everyone, of course, skirted where the servants were busy mopping up the blood and removing the corpse, but other than that, everyone acted nonchalant about the fact that a man had just died.
"Lady Larissa, I am impressed." Joshua walked up to me, extending his hand.
The moment Draupnir left my hand, the glowing stopped, and the hilt shifted again into the silver hilt of Audhulma.
"I told you she was good," Darius glowed in pride.
"Well then," Joshua turned to me. His eyes showed not a trace of recognition, and his smile was polite and diplomatic. "I have to thank my savior, and I have nothing to offer so…would you favour me with another dance?" He held out his hand in invitation.
I glanced at Darius, but he had already gone away, probably to find his Uncle Horace again. Left with no other alternative, I hesitantly accepted offer, taking his outstretched hand.
The orchestra swung into action, playing a slow sweet tune.
I winced. I hated sarabande. It was too slow for my liking, and the music was…staring into the eyes of my ex-husband, I found the music very appropriate but absolutely not to my liking at all.
We started off slowly, twirling across the dance floor. He led, I followed. We glided across the floor, oblivious of the other couples around her. The spotlight shone on us, and trailed our path across the polished marble floor.
My heart clenched so tightly that I found it difficult to breathe normally. Being in such close proximity with him brought back all of the memories I had once tried to forget. I recalled lying beside him in our bed, enjoying the warmth of his embrace. I remembered sparring with him, and getting angry at him when he failed to show up or resorted to trickery to win the spar. I remembered too much, and I thought about them too much.
I would never forget him, at this rate.
I was addicted to him. It was such a fierce addiction that no matter how far away I ran, how long the duration of time, I would always eventually find my way back to the capital of Jehanna, just to see him.
I would give up everything for him.
His arm had snaked around my waist, holding me against him. I was pressed against him, the satin of his suit rubbing against the silk of my dress. The top of my head bumped against his chin. I could feel the warmth of his breath.
"Your highness…" I blushed incredulously. Joshua could hardly do this in a public event such as a royal ball! And…I was a stranger to him…how could he be this flippant about his affections? Wasn't Natasha still waiting for him or something?
He didn't reply, but pressed me closer to him. His long hair tickled my neck, and he rested his chin lightly on my head.
"Prince Joshua…this is…inappropriate…" I tried to conceal the growing flush across my face.
Impatiently, he pulled away and studied my blush closely for a minute, but he refused to let go of my hand. "Come on then, if it bothers you so," he replied, pulling me across the crowd to the private balcony. Quickly, he locked the French doors and pulled the curtains, giving us perfect privacy.
I stared at him with a little trepidation as I leant against the marble banister of the balconey. What did he intend to do? The last time I had been in such a situation, it was with Rennac, but that fellow just wanted a good dance to make of me. What did Joshua want?
The orchestra continued playing the same tune.
Joshua walked towards me.
I took a step back, nearly falling over the balcony in the process. Fortunately, he caught me, one hand around my waist and another supporting my back, just in time, while I had, in my shock and fear, latched one hand around his neck, with another hand grabbing his arm, just to stabilise myself.
"Are you hurt?" He asked. His eyes shone with compassion, kindness and something else I couldn't identify. If it had been three years ago, I would have been able to understand the emotions reflected in his eyes in a second, but now…I could only decipher the simplest of all emotions. All the rest where beyond me.
I shook my head, embarrassed that he had to see the clumsy side of me in our short period of interaction after three years.
But he had no intention of letting me go. Instead, he held on to me in that strangely comfortable position, catching my gaze through the holes of my mask.
I swallowed, but returned the favour steadily.
His eyes seemed to glow like twin embers, red like the most perfect rubies. The crimson hue in them seemed to burn and scorch my gaze, and I blinked, flustered, thereby breaking the connection.
The instant was all he needed.
His lips covered mine, his tongue swirling enticingly. As his teeth gently grazed my lower lip, I surrendered myself. After three years, this was sheer bliss. I had never ever imagined, in my dreams even, that I would be engaging in a passionate kiss with my ex-husband in the balcony of my former home.
He leaned in closer to deepen the kiss, but his nose knocked against my mask.
Instantly, I was alert once more, and my eyes grew wide as I took in my surroundings.
No, not good. Not good at all.
Struggling, I pushed Joshua away from me with all my strength and turned away, flustered. "Your highness!" I tried as hard as I could to regain any lost dignity and keep up appearances. Did he suspect me? "That was…pardon me, but very inappropriate. Darius would be furious."
I sneaked a peek back at his face, only to find him smirking in amusement. "Oh really? Should I not take offense first at him for pursuing my wife relentlessly?"
My tongue froze at the same time as all the blood in my veins screeched to a stop. I blinked at Joshua. "I-I-I wasn't aware you had a wife, your highness," I stuttered, trying to sound as surprised as I could.
"Oh really?" His smirk widened as he stared at me with an undecipherable expression. "Did you really think I wouldn't recognize you, Marisa? Even with the mask, I'll still know it's you. We spent a year together as husband and wife, my dearest wife. And who else in Jehanna can summon Draupnir from Audhulma, besides you?" He leant forward and took my hand, brushing his lips gently over my knuckles.
"You-you're lying!" I retorted, trying to gain any ground against his argument. How the heck do you argue against a case of identity switch?
"You think so?" He sounded completely cool and unaffected. "Let's make a bet, shall we? Take off your mask and I'll fetch a mirror. If you are not Marisa, I'll…not come within ten miles of you in future."
I was silent, chewing over my lip and mulling over the events. Heck…why did I just have to play the heroine and kill the assassin? If I had let Joshua himself take care of that warrior, I could have gone unnoticed.
"Tell me Marisa." he patted my hand. "Why did you leave me three years ago?"
Not. Telling.
"You're not going to tell me?"
Yes.
"Want to make a bet with me?"
No.
"Can you say something?"
No.
"So you mean you had no grievances, no complaints, no heartaches, nothing, and you just left me like that for no reason at all just for fun?" His voice had gotten louder, and he was yelling. I prayed the glass was soundproof. He noticed me looking, "It's soundproof."
Good.
Silence.
"Well then if you hate me so much let me just tell you, Marisa, you accomplished your mission of making me suffer." His eyes flashed anger. "After you left I spent months looking for you. Entire MONTHS combing the area near the valley and the capital just looking for you amongst bunches of women that roamed the streets. But it was as though you were purposely avoiding me, and each time I set out, I returned with a heavier heart than before. And guess what, I waited for you, like the lovesick fool I was I waited for you. I though you would come back. One year, nothing. Two years, nothing. Three years, still nothing! Do you know how tortured I felt, Marisa, just staring at the ring you left on the table? Do you have any idea how much I wanted you to return to me? Do you have ANY inkling of the agony you put me through these three years?"
I couldn't stand it any longer. "Well then if you treasured me so much why did you go and have a bastard son behind my back with Natasha?"
"What?" He looked shocked. "Umm…son? Natasha? If I recall correctly I am currently single and my only kin is Mother."
"Don't deny it!"I snapped in a cold fury. "I know all about Henry!"
His eyes widened. "Henry? Oh you mean Harry!" He sighed. "That's Natasha's kid, not mine. She went and fell in love with this Renais dude under Ephraim's service named Kyle and the two of them had a kid in secret from Saint Latona-knows-what and she had troubles bringing up the kid so I kind of adopted him as a…foster-child? You know, use my money and bring him up. Kyle renamed him Henry by the way. Harry Vermillion Leonardo Kyle Finchley. Quite a mouthful if you think about it."
I continued glaring at him. "I don't believe you," I huffed stubbornly.
"Okay look," he said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "Firstly, Henry has green hair, like his father. Secondly, WHY would I lie about my own kids? I could like marry Natasha three years ago if I really wanted to. No, don't protest. If you are thinking about the letter, let me explain. I wrote the letter TWO DAYS after marrying you. Heck, TWO DAYS. I hadn't even gotten to know you yet. After I became attached to you, I stopped even looking for Natasha unless it was something important. If you recall, I spent most of my time with you after I finished my official duties."
I frowned. He made things sound so believable, but that could perhaps be the sign of a master at lying, not a true gesture of emotion. "I STILL don't believe you."
Joshua looked ready to tear his hair out, but he kept himself in check. Taking a deep breath, he pulled out something from beneath his white silk Oxford shirt. "Do you recognize this, Marisa?"
I paled. It was the ring that I left on the table three years ago. It was carefully polished, and there was not a single scratch on it. I reached out and touched the ring. It was still warm from his body heat.
"I wear this on my chain every single damned day, Marisa," he said. "I have been waiting for the past three years, praying every night that you would reappear in my life again so that I can put this ring on your finger again properly. I had no idea that I would be seeing you today, so you can't say that I did it just to swindle you out of your feelings again."
Staring at the ring, I traced the contours of the rubies embedded in the band of gold. "Do you mean everything that you just said?" I whispered softly. "Am I dreaming?"
He shook his head. "No, you're not dreaming. This is real. I am real. And I am asking you to come back to me."
"Come back to you?" I repeated quietly. Had I really been wrong about him? Everything that I so fervently believed to be evidence of his faithlessness were merely giant misunderstandings followed by gargantuan misconceptions and unfounded assumptions?
"Please…" He knelt down before I could say anything, removing the ring from the chain and holding it up between his fingers. "Marry me, Marisa. Say you'll marry me."
He looked…just like Saleh when he did that. It was the same hopeful look brimming with joy and understanding, the tender love and delicate affection shining in his eyes. Even though they were very different, but this moment…they were the same.
I could see he was serious. Just like Saleh had once been serious about taking care of me for the rest of his life.
Memories of my best friend were enough to bring the tears to my eyes. A tear flowed from the corner of my eye down to my chin, and dripped onto the ground.
Joshua saw the tear. "It's okay," he said despondently, going to pocket the ring. "I know it's a bit much to take and understand at one go. I-woah!"
I had catapulted myself on top of him, and since he had not been expecting me at all, both of us tumbled onto the ground.
"I'm not crying out of sadness, you fool!" I exclaimed, smiling as wide as I could at his dazed expression. "I mean yes, I will marry you!"
His face cleared, and a large grin rested where a frown had been. He patted my back. "Okay, so now you have to help me with this part," he grinned. "Do I put the ring on for you with the glove or without the glove? Or do I kiss you first, with or without the mask? Or do I go announce our happy news before we kiss before everyone else?"
I smacked him soundly on the shin. "Shut up," I smiled, stripping my hands free of the gloves. I could hardly even care that the pearl bracelet snapped and the pearls rolled all over the ground. "Put it on before I change my mind."
Joshua wasted no time in slipping the ring around my ring finger. It fitted perfectly, but before I had time to admire it he pulled me into another kiss.
This time, we pulled away only because we needed to breathe.
"I think I like it better when you don't have a mask," Joshua smirked, pulling the mask from my face. "There…now I can admire your beautiful profile to my heart's content."
I arched an eyebrow. "Why do I want to be shackled to you again by marriage? Care to remind me?"
He nodded eagerly. "That's because I'm handsome, charming, fluent, glib, sweet, macho, suave, debonair…" He listed an entire list of adjectives, none of which seemed to describe him well. "And because you love me."
I laughed. I believed the last reason.
Seems like love, the ultimate shackle of them all, had driven me back into Joshua's arms, even without a silly piece of paper governing our relationship.
Saint Latona save me.
Author's Note:
Yahhhh! It's OVAR! There's still the epilogue though, and it's a happy fluffy little thing to conclude everything. I just couldn't leave this way as a sad fic. The next one I write for JoshuaMarisa probably will be so depressing that I'll cry and ruin my space bar even more (which if everyone remembers was ruined by Free and Forever). Sigh.
School's reopened. I wanna die from the pressure.
Love snowylavendermist