Theresa - Flawed
She examined herself closely in the full-length mirror. Feet, ankles and calves, okay. Perhaps a little paler than she would have liked. Thighs, they looked ok right now, but when she sat down they looked absolutely huge. Hips, well, there didn't seem to be anything wrong with them. Stomach, not completely flat. There was a little bit of pudginess there that she could never get rid of. Waist, boobs, face; fine. She'd always been able to purchase the best facial care products and make up. Hair. Perhaps Jay didn't like it that way. Maybe every time he saw it, it reminded him of a time when it had flown out from her head in all directions as she thirsted for retribution and power. Perhaps she should cut it shorter, about shoulder length.
Besides, she couldn't think of anything else that could cause Jay to treat her this way. It wasn't quite distant and guilty wasn't right either, though she suspected that he was hounded by it, but not just for her sake. He was afraid, but not afraid of her as she would have most feared. He seemed afraid for her. It sounded better than fearing her, but she could see no reason why he would fear for her, apart from the obvious. His fear for her was constant, not confined to battles and missions, and it even seemed more intense when they were alone.
They were very rarely alone and she somehow got the feeling that Jay made an effort to avoid it. It was an even rarer occasion when they could be vaguely intimate with each other. Most often they kept to tender, caring kisses where passion was held back on both sides, and though she had no idea why he held back, she followed his lead as loyally as ever. She held the one moment when Jay had let go close to her heart. It was after a particularly tough mission. Odie had been badly injured and the rest of the team had all narrowly avoided death or serious injury in some way or another.
She had almost been buried under a collapsing building. She had been running, freedom within her reach and Jay summoning her to safety, when she realised that the building was collapsing too fast. For a few terrifying moments she genuinely believed that she wasn't going to make it, horrified to see that the same belief was reflected in Jay's eyes. Then Atlanta had dashed in and managed to pull her out with moments to spare. Jay's eyes didn't leave her as they rushed back home, desperate to get Odie to Chiron. Neil was almost in hysterics, probably had an aversion to all the blood or something.
As quickly as it was possible, given his role as leader, Jay had pulled her into a dark hallway somewhere in the school, leant her against a wall and kissed her with a passion that stirred her blood in a way that she could never had imagined. His hands clutched desperately at her face and hair, while she clung to his waist, hardly believing what was happening. After parting to breathe for the third time he shuffled half a step backwards, looking sheepish. He even apologised quietly. It surprised her so much that she didn't have time to tell him there was no need to say sorry before he clasped her hand in his and lead her back to where the team was, worriedly waiting for Odie to regain consciousness. She looked at herself in the mirror again. No, she didn't want to cut her hair. Yet again, she wondered what she was doing wrong that made Jay hold back on her. After all, she couldn't fix herself if she didn't know what was wrong.
Reviews are always loved. Tomorrow, Odie.