Hello, man I love this story, I love making the twists and turns in the plot. Making the Akatsuki boys suffer is amazing fun, and if you have any suggestions on how to make them suffer, by all means, give me them by reviews, I love adding them in, and changing the story ever so slightly just to add them in.

NonPopular: THANK YOU!!!! I freaking LOVE you! This was exactly what I was looking for! You rock! I added a LOT of these ideas into my story, and it's all because of YOU!!!!! Again, thank you, and you rock! And thank you to Keyu who created the list!

Crystalline Dream: Thank you so much. I hope you like this chapter as well. The Akasuki boys suffer a LOT in this chapter. Mwahahahahahah HA! ahem.. moving on

Cheese and Crackers United: Thank you! I like the manipulation of metal idea as well.

Gaara's Pyro RACCOON: Ha! I didn't use your latest idea cuz it didn't fit in this chapter, I'll attempt to work it into the next one. Thanks again and more ideas are appreciated!

Lindsay-chan: Thank you so much for all the reviewing you do for my stories! I love you! And again the pairings are ItachixOC

Enjoy!

Chapter 4

"What?! Why?" I asked Rei-dono as I stood and slammed my fists on the desk in front of me, I was glad Zetsu was no longer in the office, he left a while ago

"Because, you said before, when we first met that you worked as a spy, and Zetsu is Akatsuki's spy. Also because you are made of metal" Rei-dono said as he rested his chin on his hands

"Excuse me?! I am not made of metal, I have been genetically altered to have metal in my body, thank you very much" I said as I sat down once more in my chair and glared at Rei-dono as I crossed my arms.

"Whatever, you may leave"

"Sure, one last thing, do you like fluffy pink things?"

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing" I said as I left Rei-dono's office with a smirk on my face.

When I left I had found out I was nominated to cook for the people still in the hideout.

I went to the fridge and took out some broccoli, chicken, beef, leeks, radishes, and any other food I could find.

After searching the cabinets I had found a large glass bowl, I mixed all the ingredients I had found and added flour, sugar, and salt to the mixture. I stuck it in the oven and went to the living room and waited for a while before checking on the food and adding different spices. I am pretty sure I added cardamom, cinnamon, nutmeg, cream of tartar, lemon pepper, but like I said, I added different spices, I know I put more than that in there. I put the bowl back in the oven and sat reading a book before the smoke detector started beeping. I ran to the oven and opened it up as I coughed and waved the smoke away. After most of the smoke was gone I brought out the bowl and found that I had a little audience.

"Hi, um.. dinner's ready?"

I got blank faces as they gathered around the table. I found the cabinet where all the bowls were located and brought out five bowls and one plate. I poured the black, bubbling mixture in bowls and handed them out to the people sitting at the table (Rei-dono seceded to join us). I rummaged through the fridge until I found the raw steaks and placed those on the plate and set it in front of Zetsu before sitting down myself and pulling out some kunai. The people with what I dubbed "the mystery soup" were staring at it, probably expecting it to create legs and run out of the bowl and off the table, while Itachi was taking spoonfuls and letting it drip down into the bowl.

"Are you not going to try it Itachi?" I asked. He stopped playing with the "food" and asked me.

"Since you are the cook, shouldn't you at least try the food you are forcing us to eat?"

"I would love to, but since my body cannot and will not accept anything but metal, I cannot eat it, unless of course you want me to die." I state while taking a bit of my kunai "Be happy you are able to eat real food, I would kill to be able to eat food again." I said as I finished eating my first kunai.

"I don't understand why you can't create something more.. edible. You are a girl after all, you should know how to cook" Rei-dono said

"Not my fault. You can thank my mom for me not knowing how to cook. I got the experiment done on me when I was 14, at that time I was barely allowed in the kitchen. I never learned how to cook, only to mix up the different types of metal I need to survive on. And just because I am a girl does not mean I automatically know how to cook, I mean HELLO, made of metal here!" I said

"Remind me to kill your mother" Rei-dono said

"No way, she's my kill, along with my father" I said as I took a swig of pure mercury before deciding to change the subject.

Deidara was bravely lifting the spoon of black glop into his mouth when I asked, "So Deidara, those mouths on your hands, are they good for other things?"

"They help me soften and mold clay, yeah"

"No, I mean other than that" He took the spoon in his mouth before fully registering on what I said. He spit out the glop before sputtering,

"NO, no, no, you have a dirty mind, un. A very dirty mind" I smirked

"Oh come on, we all know you do" I said, resting my chin on my hands while I leaned forward slightly, getting slightly closer to my victim. His face got slightly red.

"You, you all do?" I nodded my head, smirking evilly "I-I.. need to go to my room now" He said as he ran out of the room. A few seconds later a door slam was heard. I think my favorite part of that whole ordeal was the fact that all the remaining people were staring in shock at Deidara's empty seat. I began to laugh as I left the room. I was now debating whether or not I should leave; I was having to much fun torturing the evil members in this organization than I ever did in my old one.

That night I decided to do some research. I snuck into one to the member's empty room and searched for blackmail. I found a small black book under the mattress of the first one I searched and a ton of small bills, the currency of this period, called Ryou, under the mattresses, in the closet, in secret pockets in the extra cloaks in the closets, in drawers, under a squeaky floorboard, and other places I don't remember off hand. I took them into my room and decided to read the little black book. I mean, it was under a MATTRESS, there is obviously something juicy in it. I opened it up and scanned through the pages before laughing to sleep.

The next morning, as expected, Sasori and Deidara were gone. However, two new people, one I had met before, had come back into the hideout. That was when I was reading to a very interested Kisame, and an interested-but-acting-as-if-he-didn't-care-at-all Itachi the black book that the night before made me laugh till I fell asleep.

"Okay, are you sure you want me to read the next day?"

"Yes, hurry up" Kisame said

"Hn" Itachi said as he pretended to read his book.

"Dear Diary, All I ever wanted was a cute wittle bunny wunny and to skip through a field of beautiful flowers. At the academy today I was once again beat up by the older kids, one day I will get my revenge.

P.S. Mommy and daddy still won't let me get a pink pony. They won't listen to me when I tell them it will match my room

Love, Princess Hidan"

Kisame busted out laughing; Itachi chuckled a bit while I was already on the floor laughing.

"And that's not the best part, which is a few weeks later when he was taught about a woman's menstrual cycle and he told his diary that he was waiting for his since he was the right age to get one" The laughing got a bit louder and I was searching the small book for the day that I had stated, before the book was taken from my hands.

"What do you think you are doing?" The Draco wanna-be said

"Just reading, why? Do you not want everyone knowing you are a pansy?" The laughing grew louder at the statement while it was evident Hidan was grounding his teeth. "What's wrong, Princess Hidan embarrassed?"

"I.am going. To. KILL YOU!" He said. I jumped over the table next to me and ran into my room before slamming the door. Seconds later I heard screaming followed by loud curses. I laughed more at his pain. Minutes later I heard someone yell

"WHERE IS MY MONEY???"

Hours later, when I knew Princess Hidan was calmed down a bit I exited the room to find Hidan's partner ripping up the place looking for his money.

"Yo, rotting corpse" I said. He ignored me "I know where your money is" That got his attention.

"Where is it?"

"I'll sell it back to you" The face he gave me made me wish I had a camera.

"You cannot buy money. Where is it"

"I'm not telling" I said in a sing-song voice. I walked back into my room before setting to work creating a scanner to forge money.

Hours later I had made around one hundred fake Ryou, which I then proceeded to take out of my room, (Kakuzu followed closely) out of the headquarters' hideout and into the open a tad away from the hideout. I dumped the pile of fake money on the ground before lighting a match and letting it fall on the pile. I smiled happily as the flames licked the paper but mostly as Kakuzu wept over the loss of money. I sat down on the ground as Itachi and Kisame came out and took out a bag of marshmallows and quickly found a stick and began to roast marshmallows over the fire. The shock was evident on all the faces of the Akatsuki.

That's when Zetsu and I were sent on a mission. The reason: to keep the remaining Akatsuki members sane.

I groaned as I began to pack my things. I looked at my not-even-close-to-being-finished time machine and sighed, I barely started building it too. I put the last remaining item in my bag and zipped it up. Before grabbing my cloak and uniform and went to my bathroom so I could change out of my pajamas. I came out and began to brush my hair before heading back into the bathroom to brush my teeth and put on some make-up before I heard a knock at my door. I walked to the door and opened it to find Zetsu waiting for me. I went to my bag and picked it up and followed him out the door, and then shut the door behind me and continued to follow him out of the hide-out.

I had found out we were to spy on one of the Jinchuuriki that Itachi and Kisame had found. Mainly because the two of them were too lazy to do it themselves and this would help me to familiarize myself with the continent I will be staying in until I can finish my time/dimension machine.

We had to sneak into the town called Konohagakure, Konoha for short, no; I had to sneak into Konoha. Zetsu just "sprouted" into Konoha. I ended up sneaking into a store and stealing some clothes before I found a place to change. My thoughts were "They know what Akatsuki members look like because of the cloak, however, they wouldn't know me without the cloak." I walked around looking for the characteristics of the Jinchuuriki I was looking for. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and six lines on his cheeks, three on each, that makes it look like he has whiskers. I had found out from Zetsu that he likes the color orange and the last time he was spotted he had an orange jumpsuit lined with blue. I scanned the crowd until a noise was heard above me.

"This brings back memories! This place hasn't changed at all! Everyone, Uzumaki Naruto has returned! Everything here is so nostalgic. They added Granny Tsunade's face to the mountain!" I looked at the features and smirked. This was the boy I was looking for. I pushed the button to my earpiece and whispered to Zetsu

"Found him" I heard footsteps behind me and turned to see a pink haired girl run up with three kids and yelled up to my target

"Naruto, Naruto is that you?" The boy looked down, and the girl continued "When did you get back, Naruto?" The boy answered

"Just now" Before he jumped down off of the pole he was on. "It's been a while Sakura-chan" The girl, Sakura answered

"You're taller than me, aren't you?" The boy, Naruto, measured himself to Sakura with his hand

"You're right" Sakura blushed a bit before saying

"What do you think? Am I more womanly now?"

"It's fine. You haven't changed at all!" Naruto said and I cringed, wrong thing to say. I was distracted from the conversation by Zetsu's answer.

"Good, fall back, we will watch from afar."

"Gotcha" I said as I once again pushed the button on my earpiece before walking away, running or just disappearing would cause too much attention to me. I stood next to one of Zetsu's "extensions" waiting for further instructions. I watched from afar as Naruto said something and Sakura punched him really hard. I chuckled a bit before I clutched my stomach as it growled. I looked around until I seen a weapon shop. "Hey Zetsu" I whispered to the plant next to me, "I'm going to get a bite to eat, I'll be right back" I said as I headed to the weapon shop and came back a bit later with a bag full of an assortment of different kinds of metal kunai, shuriken, even a few katanas.

I munched on a few before I headed to a local hotel to check in. I stepped in before Zetsu suddenly "sprouted" from the floor. I screamed for a second before throwing a shoe at my plant partner.

"Do that again and you will regret it" I said

"Sure I will" The black side said

"Maybe we should listen to her" The white side said

"Whose side are you on?" Black said. At this point I ignored him as I walked to the window seat and sat down and watched the people below as I munched on a kunai.

Zetsu had stole a beautiful kimono for me to wear, which I gladly accepted. I put it on and was told to go and scout the area, and try to get some dirt on Naruto. I decided to obey, because of the gift, and walked down the street before I accidentally bumped into two people.

"I'm sorry" I said as I noticed I dropped the wooden flower Sasori gave me. I went to pick it up when another hand did it for me. I looked up and found it to be a silver haired man with a hitai-ate covering his right eye, and a mask covering half his face. I smiled at him as his only visible eye curved as he handed me Sasori's gift. I took from him before saying a quiet, pretend-to-be-bashful thank you as I placed it once more in my hair. I smiled once more at him before beginning to walk away.

"Would you like a bite to eat?"

"No thank you, I have already eaten" I said politely.

"What about a walk in the park?" I thought about it before remembering what Zetsu told me to do.

"Okay, I guess that will be okay" His eye curved once more as he offered me his arm. I took it and he led me on a small, dimly lighted path.

"So, what do you do here in Konoha?" I asked, starting a conversation

"I am a Jounin here, I teach a team"

"Who's on your team?"

"Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, and at one point Uchiha Sasuke"

"Is Sasuke related to Uchiha Itachi?"

"Yes, brothers"

"Ah, Naruto looks like someone who would be difficult to teach"

"He is"

"He's a Jinchuuriki, correct?"

"Yes, what are you getting at?"

"Nothing, so, what is Naruto good at?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Just curious, I mean, he seems so.. random, that I was just interested in what he was good at." I said slyly, hoping he wouldn't see through the obvious lie.

"Let's not talk about my students anymore and enjoy the scenery"

I inwardly cursed at my rotten luck.

This was not as easy as I thought.