Chapter 8: Hurt feelings and realisations

Lilly headed out of the townhouse and onto the snow covered lawn, trying desperately to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. Scotty had compared her to her mother, told her she was basically the same person, the one person she had tried all her adult life to be nothing like. The fact that Scotty told her that she'd failed and all that was needed was a bottle of vodka to make her indistinguishable from her alcoholic mother made her feel as he'd driven a stake in her heart. She had to get out of there, she couldn't face him, she just wanted to get home and not think about what he'd said, not even think about him, or his soulful brown eyes that looked at her with such pain as she told him that a relationship between them was as likely to happen as hell freezing over. To try and forget the feeling of his lips against hers, his hands blazing a path across her sweat soaked skin...

"Lilly?" She whipped around and saw Mike, comming towards her, pulling on his jacket "You're not gonna walk home are you?" he asked

"I am fine" Lilly lied trying to hide the tears making their way down her flushed cheeks.

"Come on, it's freezin" Mike said steeping closer to her "At least let me give you a lift somewhere" He offered pointing to his car. Considering his offer briefly she realised she didn't really want to walk all the way back home and by the look of those clouds it was about to snow again. So she nodded and Mike smiled at her, a smile that reminded her of Scotty's cheeky grin and she made a point of looking through her handbag for something so Mike wouldn't see her red and swollen eyes.

They drove in silence for a while, Mike turning on the heat to try and combat the bitterness outside. "I am sorry" She whispered

"For what?" Mike asked curiously

"For ruining your celebrations, I shouldn't have ever come this week" Lilly continued

Mike shook his head "Nah Lilly, you didn't ruin anythin" Mike said with compassion and Lilly shot him a disbelieving look.

"Are you kidding, I am sure you could hear us fighting a mile away" She quipped as Mike shrugged.

"Couples bicker" Mike replied

"We're...we're not a couple...but I suppose you knew that" Lilly stared out the window and sighed. Mike shrugged "We figured" he said "But it will be okay Lilly, you'll make up"

To this Lilly snorted her disbelief "I quite frankly don't care if I never see your brother again" Lilly snapped hoping he didn't hear the uncertainty in her voice.

"I am sure that's not true"

"After what he said to me...after he compared me too..." Lilly trailed off again as she felt the tears stinging her eyes again.

"Whatever he said Lilly, I am sure he didn't mean it" another snort came from Lilly's side of the car "Lil, my little brother may be a complete idiot when it comes to relationships and he might be a complete bastard when he is in pain...but he'd rather die than hurt the people he loves Lil and I can tell he does love you"

"He doesn't love me" She replied

"Even before you came over this week I thought he had feelings for you, he used to talk about you...a lot actually"

Lilly's curiosity was peaked despite her still present anger "He did?" She asked

"Yeah, even when he first made homicide. He came over and told us about his new partner. At first he was a bit pissed off at being stuck with you" Mike began with a slight chuckle "But as the weeks went on he started talking about how great you were and how smart and intuitive and how he was really enjoying workin with you" Lilly looked over at Scotty's brother, a slight smile creased his face and he resembled Scotty it was almost painful to look into the familiar eyes "It was then he started bringing you up in conversation... Lilly said this, or Lilly told me that...and on and on. I used to tease him that he had a crush on you but he denied it. But one day I met him for lunch and I saw the two of you walking back into the department and the way he was looking at you, the way he kept touching your arm and laughing at something you were saying... I knew then that he had more than friendly feelings towards you Lil and I was wondering how long it was gonna take him to realise it."

Mike pulled up outside Lilly's apartment and she opened the car door "Just give it some time Lil, think about it, I know Scotty will be kicking himself right about now...let him stew for a couple of days before you hear him out though" Lilly chuckled slightly as she slid out of the car.

"Thanks Mike" she said and she gave him a slight smile before walking up the stairs to her townhouse.

...

Scotty sat on the bed, staring out the window. He had tried calling her but she wasn't picking up and he knew he had gone too far when he compared her to her alcohol soaked mother, she wasn't anything like her mother, not even close...so why did he say that to her. He buried his face in his hands and swore repeatedly to himself.

There was a soft knock on the door and he turned to see Allie standing in the doorway.

"Mike's taking Lilly home, thought you'd wanna know" she said and Scotty nodded

"Thanks Allie" he replied and he returned to staring out the window.

"So what happened?" she asked crossing the room to sit next to him.

"Didn't you hear us?" Scotty asked "We were loud enough"

Allie shook her head and placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder "No I mean you guys were so happy why did you fight?"

"She said that she didn't...she said we couldn't be together" Scotty could feel tears welling up in his eyes and he stood up and walked over to the window so she wouldn't see.

"Why did she say that?" Allie asked "You too were great together"

"I lied, Lil and I... we ain't...she's not my girlfriend...she never was" Scotty said sadly

"I knew that already Scotty" Allie replied

"Of course you did...everyone knew"

"I meant why didn't she say she didn't want to be together?"

"Lil's...complicated" he finished lamely "She's just had so disappointment in her life and I guess she's just afraid to..."

"Did you tell her how you feel about her Scotty?" Allie asked as she came up behind him

"What do you mean?" He asked

"Did you tell her that you love her?" Allie inquired and Scotty could only stare at her. He wasn't in love with her...was he? Sure he was attracted to her, she was gorgeous and funny, smart, amazing...oh god he was wasn't he and now she'd left and probably never speak to him again.

"What am I supposed to do now Allie, she won't speak to me ever again" Scotty wined

"She will if you go over there and grovel your ass off"

Scotty chuckled and turned to face her "You think?"

Allie nodded "Mike's screwed up more times than I can count and I've always forgiven him...because I love him and I can tell that she loves you Scotty, so just go talk to her"

Scotty grinned at her and kissed her cheek "Thanks Allie" he said and practically ran from the room.

...