First off I want to thank everyone who reviewed because they are the reason I got through this chapter. I had serious writer's block but you all seemed to really like the story so I didn't want to let you down. Hopefully this lives up to your expectations. Also, the TV show dialogue is in bold and italics. It'll make sense when you get there. Enjoy!
CHAPTER FIVE
Arizona awoke to the sound of a TV. Briefly confused as to why she wasn't waking up to the sound of wild animals, she then remembers last night's events and her arrival in Seattle. Rolling over she smiles when finds Callie standing in front of the TV holding a steaming cup of coffee intensely focused on what she was watching. Pleased to have the opportunity to gaze at Callie without her being aware Arizona savors the moment knowing that once the other women knows she's awake all of the tension between them will return. Tracing her eyes over Callie's body an ache forms in Arizona's chest. She longs to reach out and touch the women standing before; to merely run her hand down Callie's arm or interlock their fingers together. It was those small simple interactions that Arizona often wished for over the past two months. And now here she is only a few feet from that exact desire but the few feet between them may as well of been the ocean.
Being as quiet as possible to not ruin the moment Arizona sits up sees that Callie has the weather channel on. Vaguely listening to it she continues watching the Latina in the defused light streaming through the windows while compiling a list of nearby hotels in her head. Even though the thought of leaving was unbearable, she knew she couldn't stay. However, her hotel planning stops short when she hears the weatherman mention freezing rain. Shifting her attention to the TV she feels the floor fall away when he recommends staying off the roads for the next day. Her eyes grow wide as she realizes that the two of them are effectively trapped in this apartment. This so wasn't part of the plan she thinks as Callie clicks off the TV and turns around. Her face mirrors Arizona's and both women simply look at each other while the soft pinging of the rain fills the apartment.
Surprised to find Arizona awake Callie stares mutely at her until blonde begins to stand up. Taking an unconscious step back she bumps into the table behind her and loses her balance. Instantly Arizona's hands on her arms helping stabilize her. Brown eyes meet blue ones and intensity of that moment is not lost on either woman. Aside from Callie crying last night they hadn't touched since Arizona returned. A million emotions and memories rush through them at the innocent contact of skin on skin.
Holding Callie a moment longer than necessary Arizona forces herself to let go. "You ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." Callie replies in a high voice trying to reel in the emotions that were evoked from such a simple touch. A blush creeps its way up her neck and Callie curses her body for responding to Arizona. "Did you…ah… did you sleep well?"she manages to get out in a semi-normal tone of voice.
Already missing the heat of Callie's body Arizona attempts to have a neutral expression instead of one that showed the depth of her feelings. "Yes, I did. This was a lot more comfortable then what I've gotten used to," She says with a half smile while tilting her head towards the couch causing her blonde hair to fall into her face.
Callie's heart skips a beat at the sight of Arizona's appearance. The faint light falling softly on her created a halo effect and her blue eyes poking out from behind the curtain of hair made her look absolutely adorable. This is the sight Callie remembers waking up to every morning in bed. Before she realizes what's happening her hand is already brushing the hair out of Arizona's face and tucking it behind her ear. Arizona lets out a soft gasp of surprise and Callie is immediately brought back to reality. Quickly snatching her hand back she refuses to meet Arizona's questioning eyes. "I'm glad," she mutters, "that you slept well." Desperate to escape the intimacy of the moment she takes a sip of her coffee and walks towards the kitchen while mentally chastising herself for her lapse in judgment. What the hell was I doing?
Arizona remains frozen in place for moment at the unexpected show of affection. She can still feel Callie's hand on her cheek and if possible it makes her ache for the taller women even more than before. Wrangling in her emotions she turns and cautiously follows Callie into the kitchen. Being confined to this apartment is going to be much more difficult then she originally thought. "So…" she trails off as she reaches the counter.
"So…" Callie returns without looking her in the eyes, clearly still flustered by her earlier actions. "Do you want some coffee?" she abruptly asks. Without waiting for an answer she turns around to get another mug down from the cupboard.
"Ah, sure." Arizona senselessly replies to Callie's back as the brunette is already pouring her a cup. Watching Callie move methodically through the kitchen reminds Arizona of their normal morning routine before she left. A couple months ago this would have been perfectly normal but now everything felt awkward and forced.
Placing the mug down in front of Arizona, Callie looks out the window then back to Arizona. "I take it you know about the storm?"
"Yep, I woke up as the weatherman was talking about it." Callie nods briefly and the silence between them resumes. Arizona takes a sip of coffee mainly to give her something to do and smiles as the coffee hits her taste buds. Callie still made her coffee perfectly. Looking back at the brunette she sees her staring out the window with an unreadable expression. "I'm going to go freshen up." Arizona declares needing to escape the suffocating silence.
"Oh, yeah, of course." Callie looks back at the blonde and gestures to the bedroom. "Feel free. I'm not sure what you have in your suitcases but there's shampoo and conditioner in the shower and extra towels are-"
"Are under the sink in the bathroom or on the top shelf of your closet." Arizona finishes for her as the two woman share a knowing look.
"Right." Callie says softly more to herself then Arizona. Straitening up she turns back to kitchen and starts getting food out of the fridge. "I'll get breakfast started while you're in there." Callie calls over shoulder.
"Ok." Arizona walks over to her luggage that was still in the hallway from last night and grabs a small suitcase before slipping into the bathroom.
At the sound of the closing door Callie allows her shoulders to slump. Being this close to Arizona after all this time was exhausting. It felt like she was living in the twilight zone. Everything they were doing was perfectly normal and yet it felt almost unnatural. To fall back into their old routine with so much between them now was painful. It was a harsh reminder to Callie of everything she had lost. Of everything Arizona threw away when she chose her career over their relationship.
Tears were building up in Callie's eyes and threatening to fall at moment. Refusing to give into her emotions she distracts herself with breakfast. Cooking was always therapeutic for her and right now she could seriously use some therapy because fate was surely mocking her. During their months of separation Callie had wanted nothing more than for Arizona return and now she had gotten her wish. She was not only back but the two of them were stuck together for at least 24 hours. Flipping on the waffle iron Callie humorlessly chuckles as she starts cooking. Fate was a real son of bitch sometimes.
Arizona steps under the spray of the hot shower and instantly feels her body relax. Although she had slept well last night it had not been for long and her body was still exhausted from all of the traveling yesterday, not mention that every nerve in her body has been on edge since she unexpectedly found Callie in the apartment. Reaching for the shampoo bottle she grins as the familiar scent of Calliope fills the shower. Closing her eyes to breathe in the smell her mind is flooded with memories of the mornings they spent making love in the shower and then falling into bed to do it all over again.
Washing her hair Arizona's grin fades into a sad smile as the reality of their current situation envelops her. So much had happened between the two of them that she didn't know where to begin in order to fix it. She knew that leaving Callie in that airport had not been the best decision but she was so hurt by Callie's passive aggressive attitude. She couldn't fool herself into believing that the brunette actually wanted to go any longer so she told her to stay. At the time it seemed to be the best solution but hindsight is always twenty twenty.
Stepping out of the shower Arizona takes her time drying off. She knew she was delaying the inevitable but she had no idea how the two of them were going to get through today. Last night they had screamed at each other and this morning they both were avoiding the issue. Neither scenario was helpful and they both created an uncomfortable atmosphere.
Pulling on blue sweatpants and socks Arizona realizes that she doesn't have any winter clothes with her. She hadn't packed any because she wasn't worried about freezing weather in Africa. Pulling on a tee shirt she steps out of the bathroom and instantly shivers as the cold air hits her skin. Glancing at Callie's closet she sees an old grey Seattle Seahawks long sleeved shirt hanging there. Arizona would often wear that when she stayed at Callie's. Debating silently in head if she should wear it her decision is quickly made when another shiver run through her. Things can't get any more awkward she thinks to herself as she pulls it on and steps out of the bedroom.
Callie knew that she was going overboard with breakfast but Arizona hadn't come back out by the time she finished the waffles and Callie needed to keep busy. Flipping the ham over in the pan she turns back to the omelets and hears the bedroom door open as she's adding cheese to them. Glancing up briefly she sees Arizona timidly walk out of the room. Looking back down to the omelets her head quickly snaps back up as she realizes what Arizona was wearing. It was such a familiar sight to see her girlfriend, no ex-girlfriend Callie corrects in her head, wearing that shirt.
Squirming under Callie's scrutinizing look Arizona starts to explain. "I didn't pack any winter clothes. You know because when was the last snow storm in Africa?" she weakly jokes but Callie just keeps staring at her lost in memories. "I'm sorry I didn't ask I just thought you wouldn't mind." Still not getting a response from the brunette she starts to inch back towards the bedroom. "Sorry, I'll change."
"No!" Callie finally responds. Arizona raises her eyebrows at the sudden outburst. "I mean its fine. Of course I don't mind" She says sincerely. Lingering on Arizona's appearance for another moment she glances back to the stove and quickly turns off the burners before the omelets can burn. "Breakfast is ready." Callie tells her while she puts the food on plates and brings them over to the waffles already on sitting on the counter.
Arizona takes a seat at counter and gives Callie a quizzical look at all the food she made. "I just thought you'd be hungry… after your trip and all." Callie says trying to justify the enormous breakfast she cooked.
"Thanks." Arizona says with a smile knowing that Callie cooked to calm her nerves and judging by the amount of food before her, Callie was just as stressed as she was about their situation.
Sitting down next Arizona both women ate in silence. Unnoticed by either of them they still moved in perfect harmonization. Arizona passed the syrup to Callie before she even realized she wanted it and Callie handed the plate of ham over to Arizona before she needed to ask for it. They had done this on so many countless occasions that anticipating each other's moves had become second nature. Upon finishing Callie put away the leftovers and Arizona gathered the dishes and took them over to the sink to wash them. Callie came up beside her and started drying them. It wasn't until their fingers accidentally touched while passing a dish between them that they suddenly realized how routine this was for them, how effortless it was to communicate without words, even after everything that had happened.
Refusing to acknowledge this fact to one another they both just washed the dishes faster. However, only once finished did they realize that now there was nothing to occupy their time. Standing awkwardly in the middle kitchen Arizona breaks the silence. "Thanks for breakfast. It was the best food I've had in while."
"No problem." Callie replies. "So…" she trails off.
"Yea, so…" Arizona says in agreement. Another awkward silence settles between them and both women stand there fidgeting anxiously. "Do you wanna watch a movie?" Arizona abruptly asks.
"Huh?" Callie responds in confusion.
"Well, we're stuck here so it might help pass the time." Not to mention fill the silence we keep falling into, Arizona finishes in her head.
"Right, yeah. Movie sounds good." Callie choppily gets out as she watches Arizona move towards the living room. We're going to be sitting in silence one way or the other, Callie thinks to herself. At least a movie will give us something to stare at.
"What do you want to watch?" Arizona asks kneeling in front of the TV looking at the DVD shelf.
"I don't care. You pick." Callie says as she sits down on the far end of the couch. A pregnant pause settles between them before they both quickly say.
"How about a Disney movie?" Arizona asks excitedly.
"Anything but a Disney movie." Callie quickly caveats.
Catching each other's eye they break into laughter. It was their stereotypical argument every time they went to watch a movie. Arizona would push for a Disney cartoon and Callie would insist on watching actual people and not drawings. In the end it never really mattered who won because the real point was to cuddle on the couch.
As their laughter dies down Arizona is pleased to find Callie smiling at her. Giving a full blown dimples smile back to the raven haired beauty Arizona stands up and grabs the remote control off the table. "How about we see what's on TV first?" she says while sitting down on the other end of the couch leaving a full seat cushion between them.
Callie merely nods as she watches Arizona. Even though everything between them was messed up, her heart still sped up at the sight of Arizona's dimples. It had been so long since she had seen that smile and while she hated to admit it, she had really missed having Arizona smile at her like that. Turning her attention to the television she watches the channels change as the blonde searches for something that will please both of them.
After passing on a few possibilities the blonde finally settles on Friends. Laughing good for us, she reasons as she places the remote down in the center of the cushion between them. Turning their attention to the TV they both attempt to focus on the show and not the elephant in the room. Focusing more deliberately on the television Callie gets sick to her stomach when she realizes which episode they were watching.
Ross is running through the airport franticly searching for Rachel. He sees her in the terminal about to board, "Rachel!" he screams. Oh God of all the episodes that has to be playing I land on this one, Arizona shouts in her head.
She turns around in surprise at seeing him there, "Ross, you're scaring me what's going on?" she asks.
"Ok. Here's the thing. Don't go." Ross tells her. You have to be kidding me, Callie thinks. There's how many freaking episodes of this show and Fate gives us this one!
"What?" Rachel replies in astonishment.
"Please stay with me. I am so in love with you. Please don't go." He begs. "I know I should I have told you sooner, but I was stupid. I'm telling you now. I love you. Do not get on this plane." Callie balls her hands into fists in an attempt to keep control of her emotions. This was hitting to close to home.
"Miss are you boarding the plane?" the flight attendant asks.
"I know you love me. I know you do." Ross pleads. Don't beg, Callie wants to shout at him. She's going to leave you anyways.
Struggling with her decision Rachel says, "I have to get on the plane." Arizona hears Callie's sharp intake at the line. We should not be watching this, this not helping, Arizona tells herself as the elephant in the room starts growing at an alarming rate.
"No you don't." Ross says.
"Yes, I do. They're waiting for me. Ross, I can't do this right now. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Rachel says as she boards the plane disappearing down the hallway.
"I really thought she'd stay." He says with tears in his eyes. She had her reasons, Arizona wants to say but her own heart breaks as she remembers Callie wearing the same hurt expression. I should change the channel, she should change the channel, Arizona thinks. But neither of them makes a move for the remote lying innocently between them. It was like an old western standoff and neither wanted to blink first.
Ross enters his apartment and plays the message on his answering machine. "Ross it's me. I just got back on the plane and I feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us." I know just how you feel, Arizona thinks."It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you and suddenly you're there and saying all these things. Now I'm just sitting here thinking of all the stuff I should have said and didn't. I mean I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Cause of course I do. I love you. I love you. What am I doing? I love you. I've gotta get off this plane. I've gotta-" the message cuts off. Could I have done that, Arizona wonders? I probably should have but it's never that simple, I had made a commitment to the grant committee and I couldn't just walk away, she reasons silently.
"Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane?" Ross yells at the answering machine.
"I got off the plane." Rachel answers standing in the doorway. Stupid show, Callie fumes in her head while tears gather in her eyes. People don't really do that! They leave, they just leave without looking back.
"You got off the plane." Ross whispers as he crosses the room and kisses her passionately. I can't take anymore; Callie almost yells out loud as she violently grabs the remote off the seat cushion and quickly turns off the television submerging them into a harsh silence.
The pinging of the rain and their shallow breathing are the only sounds in the apartment as they sit there in uncomfortable quiet. Finally chancing a glance at Callie, Arizona sees a torrent of emotions plays across her face. We've done anger, we've done avoiding and we're doing awkward; maybe we should try actually dealing with it, Arizona tells herself. Taking a deep breath to gather up the courage she turns to Callie and says in the most confident voice she can muster, "I think we should talk." And just like that the elephant in the room explodes leaving them to deal with the fallout.
And there you have it; I finally got them cued up for the real discussion. I have plenty ideas for how I want this conversation to go so writer's block shouldn't be problem. However, with so many ideas it may take me some time to update but my goal is no longer than a week, give or take. And now we reach the part where I shamelessly beg for reviews. :) Please let me know what you think and if you have any ideas for their conversation feel free to pass them along.