Once again thank you all so much for reviewing! Each review is like an early Christmas gift. I'm sure you noticed the rating change but don't get too excited…yet. I'm just covering my bases. This story gets more and more challenging but thankfully my muse is sticking with me. This was by far the most difficult chapter to write so I hope it lives up to the prior ones. Their thoughts are italics. Enjoy!
CHAPTER SEVEN
Callie just stands there completely dumbfounded by Arizona's speech. It's nearly impossible for her to process anything with so many thoughts racing through her mind. The main one of course being, 'She came back for me.' It seemed that no matter how many times Callie repeats that in her head; she still can't fully comprehend it. It's apparent that Arizona means it but that truth changes everything. With just a few sentences, granted absolutely perfect sentences, her entire world is suddenly turned upside down. No one ever comes back for me, she thinks. If not for Arizona's hand holding hers, Callie would be sure that she had just dreamt the last few minutes.
A smile starts to form on her lips as she recalls Arizona's passionate declaration, 'I'm going to fight for you.' It was the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to her. Pulling herself from her thoughts Callie focuses her attention on the breathtaking woman before her. Arizona stands a mere few inches away patiently waiting for a response. Her blue eyes are bright with hope as she gently rubs her thumb over the back of Callie's hand.
The light caress from Arizona sends a thousand tiny shockwaves through Callie's body. After such a passionate declaration she is overcome with desire. Wanting nothing more than to feel Arizona's lips against hers, to kiss away all of the pain she very slowly starts to lean forward. She knows this won't solve anything and that they still have issues to work through but, as her lips near Arizona's she can only think, 'everything is perfect, everything is wonderful, everything is… awful!'
Callie quickly pulls back as though a bucket of ice water had just been dumped on her. She had gotten so lost in the unexpected torrent of emotions since last night that she only now remembered… Mark. I slept with Mark, she reminds herself as every euphoric feeling leaves her only to be replaced with guilt and anguish. Her heart plummets knowing that this is the worst thing she could have done to them. It doesn't matter that it wasn't cheating because Arizona will still be crushed. 'Of all things for me to do while she was gone, why did I have to sleep with him!' Callie mentally scolds herself. Taking a small step back she knows that she has to tell Arizona before they go any further but for the life of her she has no idea how to go about it.
Arizona had just begun to close her eyes in anticipation of their kiss when Callie suddenly pulls away looking distraught. Baffled by such a drastic change in emotion she asks, "What's wrong?" Searching Callie's face for some kind of answer all the brunette does is take another step back and slowly remove her hand from Arizona's. "Callie?" Arizona questions with slight panic at the loss of contact.
Looking at the floor Callie opens and closes her mouth but no sound comes out as she struggles to form a response. "Arizona… things are different now." She finally manages to say. Lifting her head up she meets the blonde's gaze. "We can't just pick up where we left off."
Arizona's body relaxes slightly as she lets out a breath. "I know," She admits while closing the distance between them.
"No. Arizona, you don't." Callie sadly responds dropping her head again.
Unwilling to give up the progress they were making Arizona refuses to let Callie close back up. "I understand," she says compassionately. "We have to rebuild our relationship, our trust in each other. We can take it as slow as you want." Arizona says sweetly as she reaches for Callie's hand but this time Callie just shakes her head.
"It's not that." Her voice her voice catches in her throat. "I've changed. I'm not the same person I was two months ago." Pausing she tries to build up the courage to tell the truth but instead what comes out is, "My life has changed since you've been gone."
Worry starts to etch its way into Arizona's features but her voice remains as loving as before. "I know." Tilting her head in confusion at the distress in Callie's eyes she tries to reassure her. "I've changed too. I'm not the same person either but that doesn't have to change anything between us." Disbelief is evident on Callie's face so Arizona resolutely admits, "My love for you has been the only constant."
Callie's heart breaks a little more at those words. "Arizona, please don't." Shifting nervously on her feet she forces herself to be strong. Taking a deep breath she bravely meets Arizona's eyes. "I thought I was never going to see you again," she begins only to be interrupted by Arizona.
"I know and I'm sorry. But I'm back and–"
"Stop." Callie firmly says. "I know you're sorry but that's not what this is about." Arizona stops in surprise but she remains quiet and allows Callie to speak. Feeling the moment of truth pressing upon her she tries to explain. "You have to understand that I thought I was never going to see you again. You may have wanted to come back the second you got there but I didn't know that. For all I knew you were having the time of your life."
"But I wasn't." Arizona quickly says.
Frustration builds in Callie at this whole situation and her words take on a slight edge. "But I didn't know that. You knew you were coming back but I didn't." Callie's hand tightens at her side as she ponders what would have happened if Arizona had told her. Softening her voice she asks, "Why didn't you tell me?"
It's Arizona who breaks their gaze this time. Showing her vulnerability is something she avoided at all costs but she had just promised to fight for them and being honest is a part of that. Looking back at Callie she quietly answers, "Because I was afraid you would tell me not to."
"Oh." Callie softly breaths out. Not expecting that answer her guilt about sleeping with Mark intensifies. Arizona suddenly looks so unsure of herself and it pains Callie to see her like that. Needing to comfort Arizona, if only for moment, Callie admits, "I wouldn't have." The blonde tilts her head in confusion so Callie clarifies. "Told you not to come back. I wouldn't have said that."
Arizona's entire demeanor lifts at that confession. 'We're going to get through this' she thinks brightly. Smiling at Callie she's puzzled when the Latina walks past her towards the living room and starts pacing. "What's a matter?"
Nervously fidgeting with her hands and muttering Spanish under her breath she finally works up the courage she needs. Squaring her shoulders she drops her hands to her sides and turns back to the perplexed looking blonde. "I'm not the same person." Callie says as she jumps right in.
We're back to this again, Arizona questions in her head. "I know but you're still my person" she tells her hoping to lay this whole thing to rest.
Unwilling to be deterred Callie takes a step forward. "Are you sure?" she challenges. "Because you were gone for two months and I thought I was never going to see you again. I had to do things to get over you. I had to try and move on." Callie justifies with a tight voice.
Confused as to where this going Arizona again tries to reassure Callie. "I know you did but that doesn't have to change anything between us."
Hating herself for what she is about to do Callie takes a step closer to Arizona knowing that this would be a deal breaker. Even with her speech of fighting for them Callie knew that this would prove those words to be just that, only words. Bracing herself for the reaction to follow Callie firmly looks her in the eye. "You really sure it doesn't change things? What if I found someone else while you were gone? What if I hooked up with random women?"
Arizona's face falls as she timidly asks, "Did you?"
"No." Callie breaths out but before the smile can reach Arizona's eyes she quickly finishes, "But I did sleep with Mark."
Those words hang in the air as Arizona steps back grasping for the counter behind her like the wind is being knocked out her. Unable able to look at Callie her eyes flicker around the room never focusing on any spot. "You… you what?" she says in disbelief wishing with all her being that she heard wrong.
"I slept with Mark." Callie solemnly repeats.
"No" Arizona weakly says. 'That can't be true. I came back for her, we're supposed to be together' she thinks.
"Arizona, I'm sorry" Callie says remorsefully drawing the blonde from her thoughts
"You're sorry?" she harshly questions finally looking at the brunette. "No! Just no. How could you?" she accuses.
"You were gone and–"
But Arizona doesn't wait for the excuses. "So you just hop into bed with Mark! Did you even wait for my plane to land in Africa before you jumped his bones?" she demands.
"That's not fair." Callie says with her own temper rising. "I thought we were over. You left me and–"
"And of course the first thing you do is screw Mark!" She interjects, cringing internally as the malicious words leave her lips but she can't stop them from coming. Callie's betrayal pressed on every one of her fears.
"How dare you!" Callie shouts back feeling like she had just been slapped.
"How dare I what?" Arizona challenges. "Fill in the blanks? I knew you still had thing for him and with me out of the way I bet you couldn't wait to experience the Sloan method again."
"You broke up with me!" Callie pointedly shouts with her eyes flashing dangerously. "I didn't owe you anything so don't you dare stand there and judge me."
Fiercely glaring each other a lull settles between them at their standoff. Looking away first Arizona dismissively says, "I can't do this," as she heads towards the door.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"I'm leaving. I can't deal with you right now." She sternly replies with her back to the brunette.
An empty laugh leaves Callie as she says, "Well good luck with that." Turning around Arizona raises her eyebrow in a silent question. "The storm," Callie says gesturing towards the windows. "Roads are probably closed by now and if not, I doubt any cab company is willing to risk the liability."
"Crap." Arizona mutters under her breath. In the mist of their argument she had completely forgotten that they we stuck together because of the ice storm. Desperate for some kind of escape she grabs one of her suitcases and marches towards Christina's old room.
"Now what are you doing?" Callie asks in exasperation as the blonde strides past her.
Reaching the doorway she doesn't turn around as she coldly responds, "I can't look at you right now," before slamming the bedroom door shut behind her.
Callie stands rooted to her spot in the living room staring at the now closed door as eyes start to water. Of all the things that they had said to one another that hurt worse of all. Blinking furiously to stop the tears she numbly moves to the couch struggling to comprehend how they had gone from playful banter about a movie, to nearly kissing to, a full blown fight all in the matter of an hour.
… … … … … … …
Throwing her suitcase onto the floor Arizona feels justified as it creates a loud bang. Looking around the room she notices that all of Christina's things have been removed. In their place were random boxes from the storage unit her and Callie had rented. Clearly Callie hadn't gotten around to unpacking all of them and just put them in here until she found the time. Thankfully Arizona's recliner was in here but she was too worked up to sit right now.
Pacing back and forth to rid herself of pent up emotion she can't quiet her racing thoughts. She slept with Mark! How could she do that to me, to us? I know we had technically broken up but come on! Arizona's breathing comes faster as she feels rage course through her veins. I knew there was still something between them. This is why I don't date newborns; they can't make up their minds!
Pausing mid-stride she is suddenly overcome with dread. Does Callie want to be with him? Did they suddenly realize that they were made for each other? Did she enjoying being with a man more? Was the sex better with Mark? Anger bubbles up inside of her as she realizes that Mark has had his hands all over Callie. He had undressed her, touched her, tasted her and before Arizona can stop herself her pictures them together.
Callie groans as Mark slowly kisses his way up her body. Pausing to suck on her right breast she fists her hand in his hair, hungrily bringing his lips to hers. Kissing him passionately Callie shivers as he flicks his thumb over her clit eliciting shockwaves of pleasure throughout her body. Settling himself between her legs he swallows her cries of passion as he thrusts into her. Wrapping her legs tightly around him Callie tears her mouth from his as her orgasm overtakes her. "Mark!" she screams in intense pleasure as he thrusts even deeper into her prolonging her orgasm.
"Stop!" Arizona yells. Her voice reverberates throughout the room as she forces those images from her mind. There were tears in her eyes but she couldn't tell if they were from anger or pain. "You don't know what happened" she says trying to reassure herself but deep down she fears that her imagination isn't far from the truth. Feeling shaky from the images that invaded her mind she sits down on the recliner and draws her knees to her chest. Wrapping her arms around her legs she rests her head on her knees and stares out the window.
What do I do now? Glancing briefly at the door Arizona feels a tear slide down her cheek. It was stupid of me to think she'd just be waiting for me. I didn't give her any reason to think I'd come back but still I wasn't gone that long. Debating the facts quietly in her head Arizona feels more confused than ever before. She had thought that convincing Callie she came back for her was going to big their biggest hurtle but, now she wasn't even sure if there was a them anymore. Hugging her knees tightly to her chest she wonders if coming back was a mistake. 'I thought she loved me. How could she sleep with him?'
… … … … … … …
Callie sits motionlessly in the living room staring out the window at the storm. The freezing rain had remained steady just like the weatherman promised. Everything outside was completely incased in ice and with how the rain was falling Callie suspected that her sliding glass door to the porch wouldn't even budge. Not that Callie had any plans of leaving or for that matter even moving. Arizona's last words had crippled her. "I can't even look at you." A cold numbness had overtaken Callie at those words. She had expected the blonde to be upset and angry but Callie hadn't prepared for the sheer disgust Arizona had given her.
Looking behind her, Callie isn't surprised to find that the bedroom door is still firmly shut. 'I doubt she'll come out anytime soon.' Looking back out the windows Callie refuses to cry over the harsh words that had been delivered to her. Instead she replays their fight over in her head. 'I knew she was going to mad but how could she say those things? Does she really think I just fell into bed with Mark the second she left?' Callie had planned to keep her temper in check but once Arizona accused her of screwing Mark the first chance she got all bets were off.
Replaying Arizona's accusations in her mind causes Callie to clench her jaw as her anger returns. 'How dare she accuse me off jumping into bed with him! And so what if I had? She broke up with me so I could screw whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted!' Letting out a labored breath Callie's rage quickly vanishes as she recalls the betrayal in Arizona's eyes at her admission.
'I hurt her' Callie sadly admits to herself. 'But I didn't know she was going to come back. If I had known we still had a chance I wouldn't have sabotaged us… not like that.' Feeling the hot tears burning in eyes she makes no attempt to push them away. 'I didn't think I'd ever see her again. I just wanted to feel something other than miserable. Not that it worked.' A regretful laugh slips past her lips. Sleeping with Mark had the opposite effect. Instead of making her forget it only made her miss Arizona more. 'Mark is great in bed but he's nothing like Arizona. She made me feel safe and cherished and loved. When she'd look at me it was like I was her whole world. Being with Mark was just a cruel reminder of everything I lost.'
Realizing how raw her emotions are she pushes herself off the couch and heads to her bedroom not wanting Arizona to find her like this. She doesn't know when the blonde is going to come back out but she doesn't want to face her until she's ready. Her emotions are too raw to deal with another confrontation. Closing the door behind her she curls up in bed pulling the comforter up to her chin. Trying to relax into mattress she can't stop the nagging feeling of dread that they may not be able to find their way back to one another.
I know this wasn't the happiest of chapters but I wanted to show why it was so painful for Arizona to find out Callie slept with Mark. I don't blame Callie for their breakup but I do think has some serious making up to do for sleeping with Mark. On the bright side all of their drama is out in the open which means there are probably only two or three more chapters left. Hence, the much anticipated make-up scene is fast approaching! Another thing that's gets closer is that happy shiny review button; and it'd be super awesome if you clicked on it. :)