I was going to wait to post this but after last night's episode and I didn't want to add to the torture. So instead of making this a really long chapter I'm breaking it into two. I again want to thank you all so much for reviewing! It made a huge difference because I hit major writer's block but after reading what you wrote I knew I couldn't let you down. In fact, I actually think this ended up being my best chapter so I hope you like it. And for those of you who are getting impatient with me… hopefully this helps. Enjoy!
CHAPTER NINE
After a few moments Callie's eyes become fully adjusted to the dimming light coming from the windows. Setting her drink down on the table she stands up. "I'll go get the flashlights."
"I'll help." Arizona says while beginning to lift her leg off the table.
"Not a chance." Callie quickly responds in her doctor's voice. "The last thing you need to do is walk around in the dark. You'll probably bang your foot into something." She says in a softer but serious tone.
Giving a sigh defeat Arizona leaves her leg where it is and sarcastically replies, "Fine. I'll just sit here and let you know if the lights come back on."
Callie smirks at the frustrated look on the blondes face. She knows Arizona hates feeling useless. "That would be great." Callie cheekily comments as she walks over to the drawers in the kitchen. Rummaging through the first one unsuccessfully she opens the second and let out a yelp of pain when something sharp pokes her finger.
"You alright?" Arizona calls from the couch.
"Yes." Callie responds while sucking her finger into her mouth. "Just got attacked by thumb tack, is all." Continuing to search aimlessly through the drawer for another moment she finally finds the flashlight. "Success!" She declares while closing the drawer with her hip.
"You found it?" Arizona asks.
"Yep." Callie responds while pressing the button. However, instead of seeing a beam of light the flashlight remains dark. "Really?" she groans while shaking the flashlight.
Arizona stifles a laugh as she watches Callie furiously shake the flashlight. "How about candles?" she finally says afraid the batteries are going to come flying out of the flashlight if Callie keeps shaking it.
Giving up Callie sets the flashlight down on the counter. "I guess I have no choice," she admits while walking over to get the matches. At least I know where those are; Callie thinks grumpily as she opens the cupboard and grabs a box. Walking back into the living room she's thankful that she used candles to decorate.
Light suddenly fills the room as Callie strikes a match and begins the lighting the candles. Arizona silently watches the brunette move methodically throughout the room as she lights each of the candles on the coffee table and then the ones by the television. Sitting there, Arizona ponders how to broach the topic of their relationship when Callie clearly wants to avoid it. But when Callie turns around after lighting the last candle all thoughts leave Arizona's mind at the sight of her. She is illuminated in flickering candle light that softly dances across her tan skin and for a moment Arizona forgets how to breathe as she drinks in the sight. Callie's dark brown hair is falling slightly into her face and Arizona is convinced that she's never seen a more beautiful woman in all her life.
Feeling somewhat satisfied now that the candles are lit, Callie turns around to face the blonde but stills at the look Arizona is giving her. It's full of longing and the sheer intensity of it unsettles Callie. To avoiding meeting her gaze Callie surveys her handy work and immediately realizes that she just unintentionally created a very romantic setting. Cursing fate once more she shifts nervously on her feet before deciding that it will be best for her to sit down.
Seeing Callie look so breathtakingly stunning only intensifies Arizona's resolve to fix things between the two of them. Watching Callie move back towards the chair Arizona musters up her courage, "Why don't you come sit by me?" she says while patting the seat cushion next to her. Callie looks at her with a startled and unsure expression. Before the brunette can come up with a reason not to Arizona continues, "If not, then I'll have to get up and come over to you and we both know how clumsily I can be." She finishes teasingly.
Callie relaxes but still remains motionless until Arizona very slowly begins to lift her injured foot off the coffee table. "Okay, okay." Callie says good-naturedly holding up her hand to stop Arizona from standing. Giving a grin of success the blonde places her foot back down as Callie sits on the couch but leaves ample space between them.
Arizona's success is short lived when she realizes that she still has no clue on how to start this conversation. Well, I got her to sit down so I had better say something, Arizona informs herself when the tension starts building in their silence. Shifting to look at Callie as directly as possible with her leg propped up Arizona says the first thing that comes to mind, "You look really pretty."
"What?" Callie responds completely taken aback.
Shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly Arizona softly admits, "You always do but in this light you just… you look really pretty," she finishes in an almost a whisper.
"Arizona, please don't," Callie weakly begs uncomfortable with this conversation. She is confused enough about her feelings for the blonde and hearing Arizona say those kinds of things isn't helping matters.
Giving a sigh of defeat Arizona nods her head. Sitting there in the quiet they both watch the flames of the candles dance until Arizona builds up the courage to try and broach the topic again. Deciding that being strait forward is the best approach she opens with, "There really isn't any easy way to start this." Callie turns and stares quizzically at the blonde trying to figure what she is referring to. Arizona gives a half hearted smile before saying, "I know that me going to Africa screwed things up for us."
"Arizona," Callie injects hoping to deter her from continuing but Arizona keeps talking.
"I know I hurt you and I know you're upset with me but I still–"
"Please stop." Callie interrupts. It hurts too much, she finishes in her head. "Arizona, what's done is done alright. Can we please just drop this?" Callie begs while thinking, it's hard enough being this close to you with everything that happened but I'll probably fall apart if we talk about it.
Seeing the distress on Callie's face, Arizona almost stops. But faced with the idea of losing Callie completely she abruptly says, "I can't. I'm sorry Callie but I can't. I don't want to look back on this night and have regrets." Gesturing to the windows her voice takes on a slight tone of desperation as she hurriedly continues, "That storm is going to lift and those roads will clear and when that happens this little bubble that were in, it's going to burst and I just… I can't leave here knowing that I didn't say everything I possibly could to try and fix this." She finishes with raw honesty.
Any rebuttal that Callie had planned on saying dies on her lips at Arizona's passionate declaration. Callie wants nothing more than to avoid this whole conversation entirely but she cannot deny the pleading look Arizona is giving her. So to her own surprise Callie hears herself say, "Okay."
"Okay?" Arizona repeats back not sure that she heard correctly. I thought it would be tougher than that to get her to agree.
Taking in a slow breath, Callie looks into Arizona's eyes and calmly repeats, "Okay. We'll talk about it."
Still slightly baffled Arizona merely repeats, "Okay," but this time her voice holds more certainty. A thousand thoughts race through her mind as to where to begin and to buy time she starts rambling. "Okay. Right. Yeah, we're going to talk about this," she says in a distracted voice. Completely aware that she's babbling Arizona tries to find a way to start this conversation.
Seeing the internal struggle Arizona is having, Callie takes pity on her. "What do you want to know?" she asks.
Giving Callie a grateful smile, Arizona jumps right in and holds her breath as she waits for the answer. "Do you hate me?"
Callie's eyebrows rise in surprise at the question but her face softens as she gently answers, "No. Arizona, I could never hate you."
Breathing a sigh of relief she then says, "But you're mad at me."
Callie pauses for a brief moment before pensively answering, "I was."
Confused by her response Arizona cautiously asks, "And now?"
Breaking their eye contact Callie looks back to candles on the table before she answers. "I'm disappointed." Unable to stay detached from the subject any longer Callie's voice becomes thick with emotion as she continues, "I feel… betrayed." Looking back at Arizona she feels naïve admitting, "I always thought that you'd be the one person who'd never leave me."
Fresh guilt courses through Arizona at that admission. Leaning forward ever so slightly she replies, "I always thought that too." Wanting to make Callie understand, Arizona carefully organizes her thoughts before continuing. "I made a mistake." She admits. "I shouldn't left have left you and if I could take it back I would. But I can't, so I did the next best thing, I came back to you." She says with as much conviction as possible.
Looking away before the tears gather in her eyes, Callie sadly says, "I know you did."
Arizona feels her heart plummet. It's clear that her coming back isn't enough. Too little too late, she thinks to herself. A sense of urgency over takes her and unable to stand the distance between them any longer, she removes her leg from the table moves right next to Callie. Before the brunette can protest Arizona quickly says, "It's been elevated for a half an hour and I'm not standing on it." Returning to the issue at hand she softly says, "I'm sorry I hurt you." Reaching out she tucks some hair behind Callie's ear causing the younger woman to look at her. "Please tell me how to fix this."
"I don't know Ari." Comes her miserable reply. Shifting back slightly she blinks away a few tears that are threatening to fall. "It's about trust. I need to trust that you won't me leave me again."
"Calliope, I won't," she intensely replies taking a gamble by using her full name. Encouraged when Callie doesn't correct her she says, "I swear, I won't ever make that mistake again."
Offering a sad smile the brunette slowly shakes her head. "I know you believe that but, how I do know that some other opportunity or situation won't come up that's more important to you then me?" She asks.
"Because nothing is more important to me then you," Arizona immediately replies.
"I want to believe that, I really do but I can't." Letting out a heavy sigh Callie heartbreakingly says, "It's about trust, Ari. I don't trust you like I used to. I want to but I can't. It hurt so much when you left that a part of me is afraid to open up again." She vulnerably admits
"Calliope, please tell me what to do." Arizona desperately begs shifting even closer to the brunette. "How can prove to you that I'm here for good?"
"It's going to take time Ari." Hearing the desperation in Arizona's voice makes Callie wish that things are different but try as she might something is still holding her back. "We have to rebuild our trust and that takes time. You've only been back for what, 12 hours? I heard nothing from you for two months and now suddenly you're here and you're saying all these things…" Callie feels her heart break a little more at the crushed look forming on Arizona's face. "I really wish things were different but it's going to take time." She softly finishes.
Sitting there with Arizona, Callie is suddenly overwhelmed by the situation. The candle light, the heartfelt conversation, their proximity to each other, and the fact that they are trapped in this apartment becomes too much for her. Needing to distance herself from everything, Callie stands up and apologetically says, "I'm sorry, I can't do this. It's just too much all at once." Picking up a candle from the table she walks into her bedroom and closes the door behind her.
Setting the candle on her dresser Callie leans against the door. Why can't I just trust her? She's saying all the right things and I know she means them. But I can't quiet this nagging voice that keeps whispering that she could disappear again, just as quickly. Dropping her head back to rest it against the door she tries to figure out what she needs from Arizona. I guess I need her to fight for me. To prove that she really does want me and that once she has me she won't let me go, she won't leave me again. A knock at the door startles the brunette from her thoughts. Surprised at the noise Callie turns around and opens the door.
Arizona remains motionless in the living room as Callie grabs a candle and walks into her bedroom. Leaning forward the blonde drops her head into her hands. I don't know what else to do because she's not wrong. It will take time and I have only been back for a few hours. Maybe I am rushing it. Sitting there in the flickering candle light Arizona knows that she should respect Callie's wishes and give her space. However, she can't shake the troublesome feeling like they're missing their chance. That this time right now is their moment and she doesn't want to miss it. I said I was going to fight for her and that I didn't want any regrets about this night. Feeling more determined than ever she stands up and purposefully walks over to Callie's room. I just need to say one more thing and then I'll let her be, she tells herself while knocking on the door.
The door opens almost immediately to reveal a surprised looking Callie. But before the brunette can say anything Arizona launches into her speech. "Everything you just said is true. And I don't want to push, and after this I'll give you as much time or space as you want but I need to get this out." Moving closer she looks directly into Callie's eyes. "This is what I should have said yesterday when I first saw you."
Taking a breath and then with absolute conviction she declares, "I came back for you. You were my reason. Not the funding issues or the shooting; just you. I missed you; every second, of everyday." Callie's mouth parts slightly in astonishment and her hearts starts racing as she realizes what Arizona is doing. She's fighting for me, Callie thinks excitedly. Edging closer Arizona passionately continues, "So I'm making the choice I should have made months ago. I choose you. Now, always, and forever."
Mutely standing there Callie's heart fills with love as she thinks; this is exactly what I needed from her. Arizona softens her voice slightly but maintains her determination as she says, "I know I hurt you, and for that I'll be eternally sorry, and I know I may not deserve another chance but… I need you. I'm hopelessly in love with you and–" The rest of her words fall away when Callie suddenly closes the space between them and captures Arizona's lips in a searing kiss. Backing the blonde up against the door frame Callie passionately kisses her as if her life depends on it.
Caught completely off guard it takes Arizona a moment before she enthusiastically returns the kiss. Grabbing Callie's hips she pulls the brunette flush against her savoring the feel of their bodies pressed intimately against one another. Callie wraps one arm around Arizona's waist and brings the other up to cradle the blondes face as she seductively sucks on her bottom lip eliciting a moan from the shorten woman. Sliding her tongue past Arizona's lips; the two women battle for control as they tighten their hold on each other. Caught up in total passion, they finally start slowing their frenzied pace when air becomes an issue. Callie places several gentle kisses on Arizona's lips before resting her forehead against the blonde's. "I love you too," Callie says in the mist of their labored breathing causing a full dimpled smile to appear on Arizona's face.
Leaning forward slightly Arizona gives Callie a lingering kiss in response until she catches her breath. "I was hoping you did." Trailing her hand up Callie's arm she tenderly brushes some hair out of the brunette's face. "Not that I'm complaining but what brought that on?" she asks with her breathing almost back to normal.
Bringing her hand down Callie looses wraps her arms around Arizona. "You did," she simply says. Dropping a loving kiss on the blonde's forehead, Callie tries to explain, "Everything you just said and everything you've been saying…" Gazing at the beautiful woman in her arms she lets that thought trail off and instead says, "You came back for me and you fought for me. No one's ever cared about me enough do to that."
"Their loss is my gain." Arizona replies while soothingly running her hands up and down Callie's back. Savoring their rediscovered closeness Arizona leans forward and gives Callie a feather light kiss. "I'm not going anywhere," she promises.
"I know." Callie replies confidently.
Pulling back to look at Callie more directly she quizzically asks, "You do?"
Giving a small chuckle at Arizona's bemused expression she reassuringly says, "Yeah, I trust you."
"Really?" she questions. Callie merely smiles and nods her head. Tilting her head in confusion Arizona says, "But what about before? Needing time and all; again not complaining." She quickly finishes as an afterthought.
Unable to resist Arizona's adorably baffled face, Callie kisses her before answering. "I know what I said about time and it is true but… we can skip it." Arizona raises her eyebrows at the nonchalant answer so Callie further explains. "I'm in love with you." She states. "We can spend weeks walking on eggshells around each other and go through the motions of getting to one another again but at the end of all that, the result will be the same. I'm in love with you so how can I not trust you?" Unable to articulate a response Arizona passionately kisses Callie. Smiling as they pull back, Callie teasingly bumps her nose against Arizona's as she says; "Besides, I'm not a patient person and you are way too sexy to stay upset with."
Smiling like she just won the lottery Arizona simply says, "Okay."
"Okay." Callie agrees happily as she playfully kisses Arizona's nose. Shifting in her arms Callie begins tracing meaningless patterns on Arizona's back. In response the blonde leans in closer and runs her hands over Callie's arms in enjoying the simple pleasure of being able to touch her again. Lifting her eyes upward she locks gazes with Callie and silence between them is finally one of understanding and forgiveness. Unable to look away a tension starts building between them again, except this time it's sexual and neither one of them wants to avoid it. As the passion between them grows, Callie's heart speeds up when she realizes how long it's been since they've been together. "How does you ankle feel?" she finally asks to break the silence.
"Suddenly painless." Arizona quickly responds not wanting anything to deter Calliope from making love with her. Seeing the Latina's eyes darken with desire, she knows that she has nothing to worry about.
Giving Arizona a sly grin Callie glances at the bed and then back to her before asking, "Are you sure? Maybe you need to lie down and keep your weight off it for a few more hours?"
Getting a mischievous look of her own, Arizona pushes off from the door frame and slowly starts backing them into the room, towards the bed. "Well, you are the expert on these kinds of injuries so maybe you should tell me," she answers.
Grinning playfully Callie lets herself get moved towards the bed while saying in her best doctor's voice, "You're absolutely right and as your doctor I have to tell you that I misdiagnosed you."
Feeling their legs hit the bed Arizona grins as she replies, "Really? Then what is your new diagnosis?"
"Bed rest," Callie says while leaning forward causing them to fall back onto the bed. Settling overtop of her she pepper kisses along Arizona's neck while saying, "Lots and lots of bed rest."
Briefly closing her eyes at the delicious sensation of Callie's lips on her skin, Arizona runs her hands up Callie's body before replying, "Well, if you insist."
Pulling back to look into Arizona's passion clouded eyes, Callie fervidly says, "Oh, I totally insist," before claiming Arizona's lips with her own.
I truly hope this lived up to your expectations. I had several different ideas but this one seemed the most like them. I know there have been some complaints about how long the angst lasted but that's because I like the anticipation. And because I firmly believe that more build up you have the better the reconciliation is. :) So don't worry because there will be make-up sex. I hate it when authors string you along and then rush the ending so I won't be doing that to you. I'm currently working on the next chapter but I would love to hear your thoughts on this one. I'm actually quite proud of how it turned out.