Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. The only profit being made is my own amusement (and hopefully yours).

October

He calls Alexis for the second time since breakfast, with the same result. Hi, this is Alexis. I can't come to the phone right now, but please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Beckett walks by with two white cups from the espresso machine, placing one in front of him. "When's the last time you talked to her?"

He doesn't bother asking how she knows who he's calling. "8:15 this morning," he admits, somewhat sheepishly.

She lets out a little chuckle. "It's Monday morning. She's probably sitting in a lecture hall right now," she reassures him.

"Probably. But I still worry. The temptations of college. Cutting class. Late-night parties. Alcohol. Random hookups with random people." He cringes at the last thought.

"That might be your college experience and my college experience, Castle," she laughs. He's intrigued, and he makes a mental note to extract the juicy stories from her later. "But Alexis is a good kid. You know she'll always do the responsible thing."

"I know," he admits. "But there is a point to calling anyway. You know, show people how much you care."

She looks a bit hurt. "Why didn't you call me when you were away last summer?"

He wants to tell her that he had picked up the phone so many times, but was afraid that Demming might answer, or that she might tell him that she and Demming had gotten serious and she'd rather not hear from him again. But he's not quite so sure that she's ready to hear it, so he decides to give her part of the truth. "Demming's a decent guy. I got the feeling that he was jealous with me around, so I tried to stay out of the way. I didn't want to mess up a good thing for you." She nods, seeming to accept his explanation. "Why didn't you call?"

"Same reason you didn't call me. You were with Gina."

"Gina and I were never going to work out."

"I didn't know that."

He laughs. "Fair enough. I didn't either, at first. For a little while I thought it was possible to make a good relationship with anyone if I worked at it enough." And suddenly he finds that he can't restrain himself; he's felt so comfortable with the way they've been so honest with each other lately that he doesn't want to stop now. "I kind of realized I don't want to do the whole love the one you're with thing anymore. I'd rather be alone if I can't be with the one I love."

He hears her sharp intake of breath. "The one you love?" she asks, so softly that it's almost a whisper.

No more evading her serious questions with witty remarks, no more pretending that he doesn't need a one-and-done, no more praising Nikki Heat when he really means her. "Yeah," he says. "You."

Her green eyes widen in surprise. He holds his breath and feels his heart twisting in his chest as he waits for her response. It's the same sensation of excitement mixed with fear that he'd felt as he watched Alexis being born, the same amazing knowledge that his life might change in a single moment. The only difference was that with Alexis, he'd known she'd be his daughter forever. With Kate, he has no idea if his confession will be their beginning or their end.

She speaks at last. "Same with me," she says. "I mean... you're the real reason why I broke up with Josh." She fidgets with her mom's ring and pauses and adds, "And why I broke up with Tom."

It's what he wanted to hear, but his heart is still pounding and he still can't breathe; he can hardly believe that she's been in love with him for about the same time that he's been in love with her. He very much wants to grab her and kiss her right then and there, slow and sweet and serious, but they're sitting in the middle of the bullpen and based on the way she reacted to Josh's unannounced arrivals, he knows she hates having her private life compromised at work. He settles on reaching over and taking her hand, the way she'd taken his that night by the pool.

"So now what?" she asks, intently studying their joined hands on her desk, as if she can't comprehend what just happened.

"So now I take you to dinner and to the theater. We take long walks in the park. We have movie nights with Mother and Alexis when she's home. We wear matching costumes for Halloween. And you be my date to the Ryan/Duffy-O'Malley wedding. What do you say?"

She smiles at him, almost shyly, then pulls away from his grasp and lightly taps both palms on her desk. "I say that right now we go to Remy's for their lunchtime hamburger special."

"An excellent idea, Detective," he says, standing up and holding out his hand to her. "I'd be honored to buy you a strawberry milkshake."

She takes his offered arm, and as he leads her out of the precinct, he notices her playing with a lock of her hair.