Marik sighed and slammed down the sushi menu. "Why isn't there anything with just vegetable?"

Jou cocked an eyebrow and pointed. "The spring roll. It has...cucumber...carrot...rice and seaweed of course, um..."

Bakura shook his head. "Really, Marik, raw fish? It's almost as great as a nice, juicy, bloody rare steak. But half the calories!" he grinned.

Marik looked like he was about to puke. "That's disgusting."

"And so is your lack of taste for raw human flesh," Bakura pointed his chopstick at him, speaking seriously.

Just then, the waiter came over. He shot Bakura a strange look and looked like he may puke himself. He cleared his throat. "Kounichi-wa, welcome to Shiai no Kai [Contest of Shellfish; actually seen a place called that]. Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Is there anything besides *tea*?" Marik asked confused.

The waiter cocked an eyebrow. "Of course, we have all sorts of soft drinks..."

"Soft drinks?" Marik repeated, glancing at Jounochi and Bakura, confused.

"Like jack and coke without the jack," Bakura mumbled.

"Are you not from here?" the waiter asked. ~Are you from this planet?~

"He's from Egypt," Bakura mumbled, staring at the menu. "And a vegetarian, plus he lived a *very* sheltered life." ~Try never meeting anyone besides his immediate family for most of his life.~

Jou sighed. "I'll have a Sprite and he," he said pointing to Marik, "will have a Coke."

"I'll have...this beer you have..." Bakura muttered.

The waiter nodded and walked away. ~Poor blond. He has very strange friends.~

Jou shook his head. "Bakura, do you know what you want?"

"Fatty tuna," he grinned, shooting Marik an emphasized *look*.

Marik groaned. "Eww..." he muttered.

"You, Marik, are going to get this," Jou pointed at something on the menu.

"Vegetarian tempura roll? What the hell is 'tempura'?"

"Japanese fried food," Bakura explained.

"You're awfully...clueless on these matters, Marik. How do you know Japanese so well anyway?"

"My sister taught me," he mumbled. "I can speak Japanese, English, French, some German, and a little Spanish."

"And Egyptian?"

"You mean Arabic?" Marik asked pointedly. "Yes, of course."

"That's a lot of languages."

Marik shrugged.

"Can you speak ancient Egyptian?"

"I can read hieroglyphs, if that's what you mean. No one really knows how to speak it anymore, just the Romanized form of it. So...sort of..."

"Can you Bakura?"

"Speak Egyptian? I know a few spells and curses, but I've basically lost that ability. I can still read it, though. Japanese is about all I know. A few American phrases from television."

"TV..." Marik murmured. "What about you, Jou?"

"I had to learn English in high school, but I've all but forgotten most of it. I can understand it pretty well, but my accent's all off and it's hard to string the sentences together. Seto liked to speak English sometimes, I guess since he deals with a lot of American companies..."

Marik and Bakura nodded politely. "I don't like Americans," Bakura muttered.

"Why not?" Marik asked, interested.

"I hate Pegasus, I hate that Bandit Keith, and I really, really, really hated that Rebecca..." he muttered. "Their TV's funny, though..."

"So if you can read hieroglyphics--"

"'Hieroglyphs,'" Marik corrected.

"...hieroglyphs...then couldn't you help Yami?"

"The pharaoh?"

"His Soul Room's littered with things he wishes he could read," Bakura explained. "I've offered to help several times, mutt. Pharaoh no baka has no intention of letting either of us help him."

The waiter returned with their drinks. "Are we ready to order?" he asked hopefully.

"Fatty tuna roll!" Bakura said gleefully.

"The...the..." Marik pointed at the menu.

"Vegetarian tempura..." the waiter mumbled. "And you?"

"Shrimp tempura roll. And a bowl of misu soup," Jou added.

"Arigoto, I'll be out with your orders when they're ready."

~~~

Marik poked at the *thing* on his plate with one of the sticks. "I can't eat this," he finally said.

Jou passed Marik his soup. "Eat this until I can get you a fork or something."

"It's not that..." Marik sipped at the soup carefully. "This is pretty good..."

Bakura elbowed Jou. "Feed him until you can get him a fork. No fair to let him starve, now, is it?"

Jou sighed, setting down his chopsticks. He picked Marik's up. He brought a piece up to Marik's lips. "Open up."

Marik looked at Bakura in panic. "You promise I won't die from this, right?"

Bakura shook his head. "Of all the things you've been through, you're worried about eating semi-raw vegetables?"

"Ba-KUR-ra!" Marik whined.

"Even if this was meat, which it isn't, it's been deep fried for a few seconds. It's cooked. Now open up."

"I'll eat it if you give me a kiss," Marik said hopefully.

Jou raised an eyebrow. "I can tell you're still drunk."

"Come on..." Marik whined.

Jou sighed and set down the piece. "Fine, then starve."

"Jouuuunnoochiii...." Marik whined.

Jou raised his eyebrows at Bakura. "He's very annoying when he wants to be."

"It's sad that he's my best friend in this whole, wide, fucked-up world, I know. But what's even sadder is this prick has a thing for you."

"Bakura!" Marik said sharply.

Jounochi laughed. "I find that hard to believe."

"Why's that?" Bakura poked him with his chop sticks.

Jou bit at his lip nervously. "I... I just don't seem like your type."

"My type?" Marik asked with a hint of laughter in his voice. "What do you think my type is?"

"I...um...not me..."

Bakura threw his head back and laughed loudly. Several people turned to stare at him, but he ignored them. "Jounochi...mutt...he's liked you since the minute he laid eyes on you."

Jounochi's eyes widened. "But...how...?"

"Yes, I was attempting to hit a nerve with the pharaoh, but you were very cute, too." Marik smiled.

"But I...I always thought...you two..."

"Us?!" Marik burst out. He stared at Bakura horrified. He leaned across the table and whispered loudly, pointing to Bakura, "Would *you* date that freak?"

"Look who's talking, Marik Ishtar, Mister I'm-going-to-take-over-the-world- and-become-the-pharaoh-of-everyone-by-unlocking-the-power-which-foolishly-I- don't-realize--"

"Enough!" Marik burst out.

"At least I just wanted power, not to be 'king of the world.'"

Jou sighed and picked up a piece of his sushi. "You argue like a married couple."

"Did you and Kaiba ever argue that way?" Marik asked suddenly.

"No." Jou let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Our fights...when we had them...were pretty one-sided. Either I yelled at him or he yelled at me. It wasn't really back and forth bickering."

They sat silent for a few minutes, Bakura chewing on his fatty tuna thoughtfully. "You know, I guess we can't say we'd never date each other."

"What's *that* suppose to mean, Bakura?" Marik asked indignantly.

Bakura rolled his eyes and turned to face Jounochi. "In the beginning...we were...fuck buddies...friends with benefits, you know the entire thing."

"So what happened?" Jou asked confused.

"Yami Marik," they said in unison.

"He's gone now," Marik quickly added. "Without the magic of the Rod, it's less than a split personality now."

"So why didn't you two ever really date?"

"I don't date," Bakura mumbled.

"He's never gotten over his first love," Marik murmured. He picked up his chopsticks and began poking at his sushi. "Would you help me with this, Jounochi?"

Jounochi picked it up with his chop sticks and said evenly, "Open up."

Marik parted his lips. Jounochi leaned in and placed his lips on Marik's, joining him into a chaste kiss. Marik gave a surprised yelp, then placed his hand gently on Jounochi's cheek, tilting in for a more satisfying kiss.

Jounochi broke from him suddenly, gasping. "I'm sorry, I can't. I--" he cut off, looking down.

Marik stared ahead, where Jou's face had been, bringing his finger up to lightly grace his lips. "Wow..."

Bakura threw back his head in his creepy laugh. "How was your first kiss, Marik?"

Jou's eyes widen. "That was his...?"

"He had some 'porno tongue' from me," Bakura explained, "but never a real kiss."

"I-- I don't know what to say."

Bakura laughed again, more quietly, though he still attracted some attention. He waved his hand in front of Marik's eyes and snapped his fingers. "Wake up, bud."

Marik growled and grabbed Bakura's wrist. "Don't ruin my moment, roba!"

"Your moment?" Jou asked softly, a hint of a laugh on his lips.

Marik blushed. "Jounochi...would you like...to go on a real date? With me..."

Jounochi looked down and began poking at the left-over wasabi with his chop sticks. "That would be nice," he said softly. He picked up a piece of Marik's sushi with his fingers and turned to him. "You have to eat," he joked softly. He brought it to Marik's mouth.