Chapter 35-

(Catarina's POV)

Mr. Tall is waiting for us near a fire in some woods close to the cirque. The tents are visible through the trees. "Hello Darren, Harkat, Catarina. I'm delighted about your safe return."

We all sit together and tell our long story. I remain silent for the most part, keeping my arm linked with Shan's. I don't let go of him. Finally when we are done Mr. Tall tells us "Kurda made the right choice. Harkat will have his memories now in a way he will live on."

"How much time has passed?" Harkat asks.

"Three months, it's summer now."

"Is there any news from Vampire Mountain?"

"No, the War of Scars will find you again when destiny decrees. For now, relax and enjoy this calm time. I'll leave you to get as much sleep as you need and see to it that you won't be disturbed."

He leaves so Harkat pulls out the panther teeth and show us how they spell Kurda Smahlt. "You're name's an anagram!" Shan exclaims.

"I should have known," I mumble, still not looking at the little person.

"It's no wonder I chose Harkat...as my new name," he says.

"Should we call you Kurda now or Harkat?" Shan questions.

"Kurda is who I used to...be. Harkat's who I've become. We are the same in some ways...but different in many others. I want to be known...as Harkat."

"Good."

"Now that you know the truth...about me, does it change anything? As Kurda I betrayed you all and...killed Gavner. I will understand if you don't...think as highly of me as you did before."

"Don't be stupid," Shan grins. "I don't care who you used to be, it's who you are now that matters."

"Cat?" he turns to me and I finally look at him. "I know ho much pain I caused you...and the suffering I put you through when I was...Kurda. It was wrong to betray...and hurt such a trusted friend. I don't...expect you to forgive me for that. I know...nothing can fix what I did to you. I'm sorry."

"It still hurts...nothing can fix it. You were correct about that. Now I see why I bonded with you so well...because I had bonded with Kurda...I..." a few tears fall and I wipe them away. "Despite the hurt Kurda did cause me, I do not hold it against you. Who you are now is more important to me. You and Kurda are very different people in many ways. You have risked your life for mine, you have proven your loyalty to Shan and me, you've always been there for me...It would be wrong for me to abandon you. This bond we have is...like nothing else. We do not even need words to understand each other. I would be lost without you. You are my best friend and I care for you very much. That has not changed nor will it ever."

"Cat...thank you," he smiles.

I kneel down and hug him tightly.

"Does this change anything between us Harkat?" Shan asks. "Now that you know the truth you may want to go explore on your own. The war isn't your responsibility."

"You're right. I'll leave in the morning," he nods.

We both look at him questioningly. He laughs.

"You idiots! Of course I won't go...this war is mine too and even if...I wasn't a vampire before...I wouldn't leave. We've been through too much together to split up now...I don't know what will happen when the war is over but...for the time being I still feel bound to you both. I don't...think we're meant to part ways yet."

"Thanks," Shan says. "Umm...Harkat, what ever happened to the cards you found?"

I almost forgot. He takes them out of his robe and hands them to Shan. "Look at the dates. It explains everything. We...weren't in the past or a different world. I think...the barren, monster filled, waste land was...the future!"

It's all overwhelming and I feel exhausted. I just want to sleep. "Shan..." I yawn. He nods and the three of us go to a tent already set for us. Harkat goes directly to his hammock while Shan and I stand near his. "Are you okay?" he asks me quietly. I nod, pushing my hair back out of my face.

"Are you?"

"Yeah...I think so."

I wrap my arms around him and hug him tightly. His arms wrap around me and we embrace for a long time. Then I look at him and say "I love you."

"I love you too."

We kiss then he pulls me to his hammock and we cuddle together, sleeping. When I wake up it is already sunset. I yawn and stretch. Shan greets me with a kiss on my forehead. Harkat is already gone. We go together and get our welcome backs from everyone. Evra hugs us both and so does Merla. I am excited to see Shancus who is excited to see us too. Truska hugs me and Shan together, crushing us together so I can barely breath.

It's only a few night later that Shan starts to get nightmares. He wakes up screaming. He says it's about a red wave coming over the vampires and killing them. There's a dragon who is being flown by Steve. The part he never tells anyone until a week later is that in the end he sees the Lord of Shadows and it is him. He only tells me, not even Harkat. It has not exactly helped my nightmares about Steve. I keep seeing him on a dragon, laughing crazily as vampires scream in agony below him. Lucky for me my nightmares are not as frequent as his. I always rush to his side and comfort him along with Harkat.

One night we sit and talk. Harkat is sleeping. I had gotten to Shan before he disturbed everyone. He climbed out of his twisted hammock and sat on the ground with me. I wiped sweat from his forehead then kissed his lips lightly. I grabbed his hand and held it in mine. "You are not like anyone I have ever met Shan...there is no one in this world who could compare to you. You're different...anyone who knows you knows that you could never ever turn to that side. You could not even bring yourself to kill the dragons that were attacking us. There is not a single bit of evil inside you. You are amazing...from the inside out."

He smiles lightly. "Thanks Catarina."

I kiss him again and this time he kisses back. He lies on top of me and we make out. Eventually he takes my hand and leads me away from camp, into the forest where we make love and fall asleep together undisturbed.

The nightmare doesn't come back for a while but it's the same one. "Thee waste land, the wave, the fire, the dragon, the...Steve," he says.

One night after a show, Mr. Tall pulls out a map and shows him the town we are going to next. He says Shan doesn't have to go but Shan wans to and thinks it will be interesting. Then he announces to Harkat and I that he's going home. It's the town he was born and raised in.

In April we celebrate Shancus' 8th birthday. I am so excited. We all sit at a huge table and go around saying our Happy Birthdays to him. Truska starts with "The only thing he fears is his mother's flying ears, his name is Shancus- Happy Birthday!"

Shan says "He's scaly and he's great, today he has turned eight, his name is Shancus- Happy Birthday!"

"Thanks Godfather," Shancus has decided himself to call him that.

"He's the best snake boy you'll ever meet, everyone thinks he's really neat, his name is Shancus- Happy Birthday!" I say.

When everyone is done we all clap and hug Shancus. I hug him extra tight, smiling and totally ecstatic. I whisper to him "Happy birthday to my favorite kid in the whole world. I love you Shancus."

"I love you too Godmother," he responds.

We all eat cake next.

"Time flies when you have kids. You'll find out yourself one-" Evra starts to say to Shan then stops and frowns. "Sorry I forgot."

"Don't worry about it," Shan tells him. I walk over and grin.

"Yeah, who needs kids when I have yours to spoil?" I reply.

"Are you two giving him the snake after this?" Evra questions.

"Yes," Shan nods. We got him a snake for his gift. He has one but it's smaller and not as colorful. Evra helped to choose the new one. The old will go to Urcha.

Shan sits down by the wolf man's cage while Evra goes back to the party. I sit down too and grimace. "Do you have to eat pickled onions? Hey are so disgusting."

"Try some," he offers.

"No thanks," I shake my head.

He looks very solemn as he reflects on his life so far. Harkat joins us soon. "How are you?" the little person asks Shan.

"Worried, unsure of myself. What if my family's still here? They would recognize me for sure. I've only aged a few years."

"They would be happy to know you're still alive," Harkat suggests.

"No, they moved on now. It wouldn't be fair to them."

"It's your decision."

"I want to explore. I know it's not the wise thing to do but when do I ever choose the wise thing?"

I giggle.

"Maybe trouble would find you even if you did."

"What?"

"I have a bad feeling about this place."

"How?"

"Like it's dangerous but...like we're meant to...be here. Some thing's going to happen."

Harkat always thought Shan should face his responsibilities and go to vampire mountain but now he has changed his mind. He thinks we're meant to be here. Shan asked me once what I thought he should do. I told him it was his choice to make. As much as I really miss Vancha and the mountain I enjoy the cirque and the people here.