Author's Note: Hello, fellow iCarly fans! I hope you're all having an awesome weekend. Instead of doing something productive like working on an essay for class, I went to watch "Despicable Me" at the cinema instead, which was very cukey (Miranda for the win). I apologise that this is a short chapter. I'm deliberately making things short to keep sockstar's quips at bay (pitching a tent and camping for days, I ask you) about my long-ass chapters. I'll post the next chapter next week again. Ooh, and one minor note: just ignore certain 'iSpeed Date' canon while reading this, trust me. Now, onto the chapter, my pets...
Disclaimer: Still don't own iCarly or 17 Again. Dejavu...
"I can't believe you dragged me into yet another one of your crazy schemes." Gibby hissed indignantly in Freddie's direction.
"Oh, don't be such a big baby, Gibby. This is gonna work, trust me." Freddie returned assuredly.
"Trust you, hmmph." Gibby muttered under his breath, but still loud enough for Freddie to hear.
"Hellooo," he greeted in a sing-song voice of the secretary in the high school office at Ridgeway.
"I'd like to enrol my son…Felix Gibson…here at Ridgeway," Gibby continued.
The secretary, a chunky woman in her mid-forties, was in the middle of a phone call. She locked eyes with Gibby momentarily and simply jerked her head sideways with a roll of her eyes towards the waiting area.
"So we should sit till you're ready for us? Ok then, that was helpful." Gibby muttered dryly in Freddie's ear as they sat down together.
"Hey, you ok?" Gibby asked of Freddie, who was looking decidedly pale.
"Yeah, just a little nervous." Freddie admitted softly to his best friend.
"This is gonna work." Gibby chided soothingly while clapping Freddie reassuringly on the shoulder.
Freddie smiled gratefully at Gibby. That's when Gibby took the time to look over Freddie's general appearance. He was wearing a very flashy baseball cap, which was decorated with all types of insignia of some remote gangster-rap artist. He was wearing a black tight-fitting T-shirt which hugged his body, which too was decorated with similar insignia as the cap, covering his shaggy brown hair. He was wearing extremely baggy blue jeans and a pair of NIKE Air Force Ones on his feet. And around his neck, he wore a very large gold chain with the letter 'A' on a pendent.
"What are you wearing?" Gibby inquired incredulously, looking Freddie up and down.
"Something very hip. This is what the cool kids are wearing these days, Gibby. I saw a picture of Justin Bieber wearing the exact same outfit in a copy of 'US Weekly'." Freddie informed Gibby with an air of smugness.
"Yeah well, Justin Bieber wears these particular kinds of outfit because he's a douche-bag. And you look like a total douche-bag too, Freddie." Gibby responded assuredly.
"I do not look like a douche! Well, what's with your outfit, Gibby? I told you to dress like a dad." Freddie countered indignantly.
"I am dressed like a dad." Gibby returned defensively, pointing down to his black turtleneck sweater, a leather waistcoat, black leather pants and leather boots, newly acquired blue highlights in his brown locks.
"No you're not. You look like Adam Lambert." Freddie declared snidely.
"Leave him out of this! Just look over your stupid transcripts!" Gibby hissed in a scandalised tone.
Freddie groaned and scanned through the contents of the file resting in his lap. True to his word, Gibby had conjured up a host of authentic-looking documents to avoid awkward questions about Freddie's sudden appearance at Ridgeway in the middle of the school year. But Freddie couldn't help having some misgivings about certain photographs that Gibby had photo-shopped of him shaking hands with former American president, Barack Obama and Kofi Anan, the former head of the UN. And then there were photo-shopped pictures of Freddie holding prizes given to him at fictitious Science Fairs as well as a picture of him hanging off a basketball hoop, which he felt sure he'd seen in a picture of 'Sports Illustrated' not too long ago.
"Gibby, are you sure this looks legit?" Freddie asked anxiously.
"Of course they look legit. Dude, do you know who you're talking to? I'm the guy who invented software that stops people from stealing music over the Internet. Of course, I'm also the guy who invented software that helps people steal music from the Internet, but that's just a happy coincidence." Gibby answered abashedly.
Freddie raised an eyebrow when he retrieved a photo of Gibby photo-shopped into a scene taken from 'Galaxy Wars', fighting alongside Nug Nug.
"What is this?" Freddie asked of Gibby.
"Oh my God," he groaned dramatically when he found yet another photo of Gibby photo-shopped into 'Galaxy Wars', driving a space cruiser this time.
"No, that's wrong. These are for me, my personal…collection." Gibby stammered, grabbing the photos out of Freddie's hands.
"You've gotta be kidding me," Freddie murmured under his breath while pinching the bridge of his nose.
Just then, the secretary finished her call and addressed both Freddie and Gibby.
"Miss Baxter will see you now." She announced cordially with a wave of her hand towards the Principal's office.
"Thank you," Gibby and Freddie replied graciously as they approached the door of the Principal's office.
"Whatever you do, don't try to be funny, Gibby." Freddie advised gently.
"Ok."
"And try to say as little as possible."
Not looking where he was going, Freddie collided abruptly with a teenage boy his age. The boy in question was a mean-looking specimen: dirty and spiky blonde hair, steely blue eyes, a black hoodie with skinny black jeans and a menacing-looking wrist band with large spikes on them.
"Watch where you're going, tool-bag." The stranger hissed menacingly in Freddie's direction.
Freddie said nothing in response, but continued standing his ground, staring the teenage boy down with everything he had. The tension in the room was thick and fiery, as if the occupants were sitting atop an erupting volcano. Freddie couldn't explain the sudden rising of his temper, but he instinctively knew that he didn't like the look of this kid in front of him one bit.
"Sorry, that was our bad, young man. Step away from him, Felix." Gibby reasoned in a low voice in Freddie's ear to get him to calm down.
"Reed, get to class. Now." A female voice ordered sternly from the Principal's office.
Reed cracked his neck muscles and gave Freddie one last dangerous look before stalking out of the main office. Freddie watched him go before following Gibby into the principal's office. He was almost immediately stripped of any remaining annoyance with that Reed-kid when he and Gibby encountered Ridgeway's head honcho.
"Hello. I'm Tasha Baxter, principal here at Ridgeway High School." The principal greeted cordially from her desk.
Gibby, who had his back turned while closing the office desk behind him, stopped short at the sound of that heavenly voice and turned around to face the principal. Even Freddie was surprised. There was no way that this woman was the principal at Ridgeway; she was way too good-looking. She looked like she belonged in a swimsuit catalogue or on a New York catwalk, not policing high school kids.
Hey sexy lady
I like your flow
"Hi, nice to meet you." Freddie managed in as polite a voice as possible.
He glanced at Gibby and frowned at his best friend's vacant expression, looking like his brain had decided to take a vacation right then and there. Right now, his eyes were feasting on the most beautiful woman on earth. She had a mass of swirling honey-brown wavy hair, which went down to her shoulders. She had brown eyes, a cute button nose and the rosiest lips he'd ever had the fortune of seeing in reality.
She was dressed fairly modestly: a white feminine blouse, but which hugged her abdomen and chest quite dramatically and a pencil gun-metal grey skirt with a small slit along her left thigh. And on those heavenly legs, she wore tanned pantyhose with black-strapped velvet heels.
Your body's bangin'
Out of control
While Freddie tried in vain to get Gibby's attention, Gibby in turn was playing a particular sassy saxophone musical score in his head, which suggested that meeting this vision of loveliness in a high school office was the last place he had in mind for a first encounter.
"Hello." Tasha greeted warmly, extending her hand towards Gibby.
"H-hello." Gibby croaked successfully.
You put it on me
Ceiling to floor
After swallowing a few more times, Gibby moved forward clumsily and took Tasha's dainty hand in his own and shook it vigorously. Freddie's smile faltered when he realised that Gibby had no intention of letting go of the principal's hand.
Only you can make me
Scream and beg for more
"Um, ok. I think we're good here." Tasha remarked, staring pointedly down at hers and Gibby's entwined hands before pulling hers out of his grasp.
"Sorry," Gibby apologised sheepishly.
"I think our hands just made a baby," he added in a dazed murmur.
Freddie's eyes widened to the size of saucers while staring incredulously at his best friend. Then he turned to face his future principal with an abashed grin on his face.
"You'll have to excuse my dad, Principal Baxter. He's not used to talking to attractive women on a regular basis." Freddie apologised smoothly.
"Thank you, Felix. That was very flattering and completely inappropriate all at once." Tasha thanked with only the slightest trace of sarcasm in her voice.
"Please have a seat." She implored gently with a wave of her hand towards two chairs in front of her desk.
Gibby and Freddie obliged and sunk down into their seats.
"Before we get started, there's something you should know, Ms. Baxter." Gibby began in a solemn tone.
"Yes, Mr. Gibson?" Tasha asked curiously.
"I think you should know that Felix is a bastard." Gibby answered simply.
Freddie chuckled loudly to cover up his sudden embarrassment at Gibby's bizarre behaviour.
"Excuse me?" Tasha asked wonderingly.
"Yes, a bastard. I had him out of wedlock, which means that I'm single. And very rich." Gibby responded casually with a leering grin on his face.
Gibby chuckled leisurely and Tasha followed suit, though not quite as humorously.
"Felix, did you bring your transcripts?" Tasha inquired in a professional voice, returning to the matter at hand.
"Yes, I sure did." Freddie answered eagerly, wanting to get out of the principal's office more than ever.
He handed Tasha the file of photographs and relevant documentation, which she perused quite intently for a few minutes.
"So, the last school you attended was Cutler High in Connecticut. Correct?"
"Correct."
"Well I must say, your grades are very impressive, Felix. Straight-A student, Math Club, Spanish Club, National Merit finalist…Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Champion." Tasha read out in surprise on the last part.
"Well, I don't like to brag, but…" Freddie trailed off in what he hoped was a winning tone before shooting Gibby a look of outrage for putting that in his fake file.
"Well, all things considered, I think that Ridgeway is very lucky to have you. Welcome aboard, Felix." Tasha concluded gaily, rising from her desk to shake Freddie's hand.
Gibby pumped his fist silently in the air at this announcement and got to his feet too.
"Thank you so much, Principal Baxter." Freddie thanked sincerely with a wide smile on his face.
Gibby smiled too and moved to shake Tasha's hand, but she just managed to shift her body to the side to avoid that. In answer to this, Gibby wordlessly raised his hand in the air.
"Yes, Mr. Gibson? You have a question?" Tasha asked courteously.
"Yes. Your hair is pretty." Gibby replied brightly with a click in Tasha's direction.
Freddie cursed under his breath and buried his face into the adjacent wall in shame.
"Thank you, Mr. Gibson. Not really a question, but I appreciate the compliment all the same." Tasha replied as cordially as possible.
"Would the lady mind if I smelled it?" Gibby questioned in a seedy tone.
"Mr. Gibson, I should probably tell you right now that I don't make a habit out of dating my students' parents." Tasha countered seriously, one hand resting on her hip.
"Well, Ms. Baxter, I should probably tell you in turn that I don't not make a habit out of dating the principal of my child." Gibby returned cleverly.
"Okay, Dad, time to go. Thank you again, Principal Baxter," Freddie interjected smoothly, placing a firm grip on Gibby's arm and steering him towards the door.
Tasha watched in exasperation as Freddie dragged Gibby out of the office and admonished him in a clipped undertone. Then she frowned when she heard what sounded like a thump against the wall outside her office door.
"Ow! I was just about to close!" Gibby growled indignantly.
Then Tasha got the fright of her life when Gibby's face suddenly appeared through the blinds on her office window, a leering grin etched on his face before Freddie dragged him away.
Freddie and Gibby were walking up a flight of stairs 5 minutes later, talking amongst themselves just as the bell rang for the end of the first period.
"I can't believe you're in the school, Freddie! I also can't believe you totally blocked back there with your super-hot principal! Didn't you see the way she was undressing me with her eyes?" Gibby demanded eagerly.
"Gibby, I really don't think that's what happened back there." Freddie countered dryly.
"Hey, check it out! There's some of Corrie's friends, I'm gonna say hi to them." He added, brightening up at the prospect of testing out his new identity.
"Hey, girls. How's it going?" Freddie greeted in a charming voice.
"Do I know you?" Jamie, an attractive blonde asked in a scornful tone.
"Seriously. What'd you do, mug Justin Bieber?" Lalita, another friend of Corrie's asked mirthfully.
Then the three girls laughed unabashedly amongst themselves while walking past Freddie and Gibby. Freddie stared down at his clothes in dismay while Gibby made a face like someone who had just witnessed the making of road-kill on a dirt road.
"Wow, that was really bad. Welcome to the bottom of the food chain, Freddie." Gibby murmured while clapping Freddie sympathetically on the back.
While Freddie continued to look extremely self-conscious, Gibby had a sudden brain wave.
"Ok, we can fix this. You always had my back in high school, so I'm gonna return the favour now. As long as you insist on being a fake teenager, your spirit guide would want me to help you in whatever way I can as your…fake dad. And the least I can do is make sure that my fake son doesn't look like a total douche." Gibby reasoned sensibly.
"I don't look like a douche, Gibby." Freddie protested vehemently.
"What a douche," a guy in passing commented malevolently.
Freddie shot the offending person a dirty look before turning to face Gibby again. Gibby in turn took his wallet out of his pocket and fished out a Black credit card.
"We're going shopping." Gibby concluded with an air of victory.
"Really?" Freddie questioned quizzically.
"Your shirt is bedazzled." Gibby noted dryly before walking back down the stairs.
"Bedazzled with rhinestones." Freddie corrected, following closely behind his best friend.
Shopping in Gibby terms ended up being a whole-day affair. By the time Gibby and Freddie got back to Gibby's place, both were completely spent and passed out on their beds upon arrival late in the evening. But by the time the following day had begun, Freddie was ready and amped. But this was mostly because of the car he would be arriving in when he entered Ridgeway.
He had left his old car in Gibby's garage and let Gibby splurge on a magnificent silver Audi R-8 model. The car rode like a dream and Freddie was perfectly at ease, driving through Seattle, his favourite songs blaring through the speakers.
Hail Caesar shadow on my backseat
When he finally arrived at Ridgeway for class, he received the welcome he had been expecting. Students in the parking lot stopped, stared and gaped openly at the car he showed up in while he found a prime parking spot right in front of the main entrance. Students were nudging one another and whispering about the owner of such a marvellous specimen of a car. They weren't kept in suspense for much longer when the engine finally died and Freddie got out his car.
And her friends are standing right in front of me
Gone were the 'douche clothing' of yesterday. Today, it was nothing but big brand names and trendy contemporary fashion styles for Freddie Benson. His shaggy brown hair was neatly combed and coifed, framing his oval face and complimented with a shimmering pair of Police sunglasses. He was wearing a leather jacket which complimented his tanned skin and hugged his upper torso, a plain white shirt underneath, black Levi jeans and black Converse on his feet. In short, he looked cool. Corrie's friends, who had mocked him shamelessly yesterday were now shamelessly ogling him. And just for a laugh, Freddie smiled a half-smile in their direction while getting his text books off of the back seat.
And you don't have to make a sound
'Cause they got what you need
What you need
"Wow. Let's go to school," Corrie's friend, Jamie, purred seductively while biting her bottom lip and watching Freddie walk away.
Oh my
Feels just like I don't try
Look so good I might die
All I know is everybody loves me
It seemed like people were inadvertently clearing a path for Freddie while he walked through the main entrance of Ridgeway. Unlike yesterday or the days leading up to this particular moment, Freddie had no fear whatsoever. All of his disgruntled disappointment and uncertainty about the future had been washed away completely in the space of 24 hours. No matter what happened today, Freddie knew that everything would work out.
Head down
Swaying to my own sound
Flashes in my face now
He was finally where he was supposed to be and the master of his own fate once again.
All I know is everybody loves me
Musical References:
1) "Hey Sexy Lady" by Shaggy
2) "Everybody Loves Me" by OneRepublic
Author's Note: I hope you all liked this one. I especially had fun with introducing Tasha into the chapter (I made up her surname) and her interactions with Gibby. This is what I meant by ignoring certain iSD canon, since Gibby and Tasha haven't met in this story. As it turns out, Tasha Baxter is actually a South African singer, so I thought of her while writing for Tasha. Btw, has anyone seen pictures of Emily Ratajkowski (plays Tasha) outside of iCarly? If you haven't, google her right now and prepare to be 'bedazzled', I kid you not. I got my inspiration for Freddie's look in the final scene from Nathan Kress' appearance at the 'Make A Wish' charity event this year. I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my quips about Justin Bieber and Adam Lambert, it's all in good fun and not supposed to be insulting (well, not entirely), promise. I hope you all have a great night. Cheerio, my pets!