"We were in love."
It was a simple statement, but held so much pain. Peyton knew it hurt Lucas to know she had loved someone other than him, and that the same person had loved her back just as much. She knew it hurt him and she hated herself for being the one to hurt him. They had been through so much together and she did love him with all her heart, but she couldn't lie to him any longer about the relationship she and Julian had shared.
They were in love. Not the kind of love she and Lucas had, but the kind she had for Nathan, the kind she had for Jake. It was sweet and innocent love, the kind you saw in most movies and fairytales. It was far different from what she and Lucas shared, love that was deep and painful, but intoxicating and addicting, and impossible to give up or live without. It's the kind that would have been enough for her six years ago.
Had she met Julian in her junior year, before she knew Lucas, before she loved him, he would have been enough for her. He would have been all she needed. But she didn't meet Julian in high school. She met him much later, after her heart had been bruised and battered and stepped on. She was already addicted then, clinging to Lucas' book, to the love she once had. Frankly, Julian didn't stand a chance.
Seeing the pain in Lucas' eyes, as he stood before her, clutching a picture of her and Julian was almost enough to send her over the edge. She wanted to cry, to beg him to understand. But a part of her, the part that hadn't changed since high school, had been waiting for this moment.
It was the same part that had curled in her stomach before Jake came back. It was the part she thought died when Lucas almost married Lindsay. It was the part that wanted him to fight for her. She had fought so hard for him. She almost lost Brooke and Haley to be with him. She left Jake and Jenny because she loved him. She fought hard, and this part of her wanted him to fight just as hard to be with her.
The silence swirled around them. Neither spoke or moved. Peyton couldn't find the strength to look him in the eyes. Lucas couldn't find the nerve to yell at her. They were stuck in the same old battle they had been in since high school, a battle of emotion. Peyton wondered if she would ever make it back from the ledge that seemed ever-present in her life, and if she did, whether or not Lucas make it back with her. At times like these, she wasn't so sure either of them would.
Author's Note: Okay so the ending is kinda rushed, but I wanted to get something up before I turned 80 lol...working on the next chapter...please review! =)