My Dearest Bella,
My lack of heart shows no more, for I find that your heart might not belong to me alone, and this crushes me.
I cannot let go of you, though I want to give as you request. For me, it is not my will that makes me love you. My will is that I would not love you, due to the danger I bring, just by being with you. I am powerless against the will that roars inside of me, dictating that I must love you.
I must admit, in the beginning, it was merely unsatisfied curiosity of you, due to your being so different than anyone else I have encountered. But my heart became consumed by you… your unavailable thoughts, your…self.
I deeply regret the many times I have not listened to you that upset you so. Forgiveness is essential, as you have forgiven me several times. I plead with you to forgive me this once more. You state that I own your soul… if I had a soul to give, it would be in your hands. Your heart soars when you see me, when I see you I feel exactly the same. I know it is near impossible as I am…being what I am; my experience on earth has been so different from yours, but elation only came into my vocabulary once I met you.
You speak of him… you feel something for him. Is it as powerful as the feeling you have for me? Can you have faith in me, in us that we are right and that nothing he can give is as potent as what I can offer? I am definite that you will see this is accurate, in time.
I write to you only because I understand that if I were to see you now and talk, I could sway you. I opt not to, as I want this decision to be your decision. You own my life. Without you, Bella, I no longer can have one.
Please cry not, but love.
Forever yours, regardless… Edward