One day, God went to Wonderland to say hello to Blood. She also brought along Mercenary and God's Bitch to help her with her mission, to convert him to Oopsianity.
"I worship NO ONE! I'm in the f-ing MAFIA DAMNIT!" Blood responded angrily.
"Ok, but in our religion, it's part of the commandments to flip off assholes." Mercenary explained.
"…"
"And church services are only five minutes long…"
"…"
"And instead of bread and wine we give out snickerdoodles and milk…"
"I BELIEVE!" Blood proclaimed.
"YES!" God says. "Now, come, Blood. Let's make JESUS!"
- God and Blood run away to make Jesus. This "Jesus Making" ends up causing several earthquakes that terrorize China-
-Meanwhile in China-
"Holy shit!" China yells as the ground is shaken below him.
Mercenary appears and says "I'm sorry. God is… uh… preparing to send Jesus… to Earth…"
"What! The Messiah! He's coming, aru!"
"Uh, yeah. Don't get your hopes up. Trust me. It's not gonna be pretty."
"OMG! The earthquake just killed my lover!" -runs to Russia's dead body- "aruuuuuu T_T"
"I'm sorry. God's having a bit too much fun. Here, take this old panda as an apology." -random old panda materializes-
"Awww it's sooo cute /. Thank you! I mean, you only killed a world super power. A panda so makes up for that, aru!"
Then the old panda (aka Bookman) said "Hohoho, look. A new child. Ever since Lavi stopped giving it willingly *sigh*"
"UH, WHAT! ARUUUUU!"
"…Shut up and bend over…"
-England suddenly appears out of nowhere-
"WAIT!" England yelled.
"Ah, England! Thank God! This old panda's trying to rape me, aru!"
"Oh, I see. That sucks for you. Well I still want to trade with you. So here, have this opium as a gift."
"Wait, WHAT! OPIUM! ARUUUUUUU!"
Bookman looked up at England. "Ah, thank you. Now I have advantages."
"WHAAAAATTTTTTT!"
"I SAID BEND OVER!"