Reason To Believe
I have reason to believe that I have victories to taste
I can feel them on my teeth, upon my lips and in my chest
I can roll them on my tongue, they are more supple than defeat
I feel the tension in my lungs and every move is fueled by my resolve to
Breathe, don't you want to breathe?
Jenny
9/6/10
3:30 p.m.
I sat quietly in the corner of Umbridge's office that I could observe her the best from, watching her every move. I had moved on from my incident in the kitchen three days ago, waited for the Ministry to die down, and then continued coming with Mr. Weasley to work. I had mastered being with him in his Apparitions, and they became easier to handle until they felt normal. That was now how he came to work, and we left together every day. I had been incredibly lucky with not being caught, hurt or trapped yet. I had started a new tactic; follow around someone important in the Ministry (like the hag Umbridge) and try to pick up the more valuable information passed by word of mouth. The most important news would never be written down where people could see it. Umbridge continued to write as the kittens on the plates danced around.
With an inaudible sigh, I got up and moved slowly around the room towards the door. Mr. Weasley was getting better and better with his Disillusionment Charms, but I would never be completely invisible at the Ministry. Thankfully, the work day was almost over, and Umbridge would leave her office, giving me a way out, and then I could go home. Yes, I now called Grimmauld Place home. As much as I didn't want to, it was fitting. Distracted by my now moody thoughts, I barely got out of the way of the door as it opened, and someone I didn't recognize came in. I could barely tell that it was a girl; her face was brutal, ugly and frightening. "Ah, Alecto! Please, have a seat." Umbridge said sweetly, but Alecto remained standing.
"Everyone at tha' schoo' is still disrespectin' us!" Alecto snarled roughly. Her voice was as hideous as her face. Umbridge sighed, like she was dealing with a four year old.
"You and your brother already possess all the power you can. Snape has given you a teachers status, and put you in charge of detentions. The children causing trouble will soon bend to your will."
"It's been almost a month." Alecto said stupidly, but continued. "These kids, they actin' like they want detentions. Nothin' we use on em' keeps em' from doin' it again!" Alecto complained. My mind was whirling. Alecto and her brother must be the two Death Eaters at Hogwarts besides Snape. According to Umbridge, they had all the power they could have hurting kids…my stomach clenched angrily.
"Give it time, Alecto. Pain, I've found, is an excellent tool of persuasion. I take it you brought the list of students causing the most trouble? We can help keep them in check by holding their families against their will until they submit." Anger flashed down my spine. How dare that sick, twisted fucking toad-
"Oh yeah! I gots it righ' here." Alecto handed her a stack of paper. "The top 100 students misbehavin', the ones that gots the most detentions." Alecto grinned, fingering her short, stubby wand lovingly with equally stubby fingers. I wanted to kill her and Umbridge.
"Excellent. You'll start receiving lists of children whose parents are being held. If we have to, we can reverse the order. A few children in pain could put some parents back in their place. Thank you, Alecto." Umbridge said sweetly, an obvious dismissal. Alecto trudged out, but I didn't leave when I had the chance. I wanted a copy of that list, to back up what I had just heard. Umbridge muttered something about kittens as she made a few copies of the document, filing some away. In the process, a stack fell to the floor with other papers. Taking an immense risk, I snatched a good three handfuls of the paper on the floor and shoved it into the bag before Umbridge turned to pick up the mess. She didn't notice that some papers were gone, instead, she flicked them onto her desk, and picked up her pink tweed coat. I followed her out the door, and almost ran to Mr. Weasley's office.
…
"Number one on the list, Ginny Weasley." Kingsley read flatly. Everyone was assembled again, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley looked a strange mix between concerned and proud. "Well, at least your kid is doing something." Kingsley muttered, flipping through the sheet, tapping his wand on a few names, making them glow. "Not a single Slytherin on the list, well the list we have." Kingsley goaded me for the fifth time this evening for not getting the complete list. I mentally kicked him repeatedly in the happy sacks as Mr. Weasley picked up the papers.
"Did any of them say what was being used in the detentions?" He sounded so concerned, but I couldn't ease his fears.
"Not a word, but knowing Death Eaters…it's probably not writing lines, Mr. Weasley." I said quietly, and he and Mrs. Weasley started talking heatedly as the meeting awkwardly broke up. After talking a moment more with a Dedalus Diggle, who was nearly bouncing off the walls, I slowly climbed up the four flights of stairs to the attic. Why I was keeping this promise and risking my sanity? Search me. Hestia Jones, a secret Auror I had met just yesterday nodded to me. She had been almost excited to get to know me, even after Kingsley told her repeatedly that I was a werewolf and a Muggle. She let me in without a word. Draco hadn't heard me come in; he was staring at the ceiling, and he looked to be half asleep. "Getting your beauty rest?" I asked once I silently closed the door, and he jumped about half a league as he sat up quickly.
"You came back," He said stupidly, scrambling to his feet, an odd look in his molten silver eyes. It looked almost soft, yet oh so desperate. Tiny warning flags came up at his desperation. If our positions were to be switched, I would do anything to get out of the attic after two days, not almost a week. I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Who knows why, but yes, I'm here." I said calmly, trying not to think about my new little…curse on this place. Every time I came up here, I left in a depressed mood. He looked uncertain as he took a step closer.
"Why can't I know your name?" he asked quietly. I rolled my eyes.
"You are a one track record. You," I pointed at him, "are a Dark Wizard who just happens to be a prisoner. I," I pointed at myself, "am a spy for the Order. You knowing what I look like is bad enough, not to mention the oh so important personal details. So you knowing my name and then somehow sometime getting out of here and letting every other Dark Wizard know everything about me would be bad." He didn't get pissed off or frustrated like last time, like I had expected him to.
"I need you to deliver a message for me, and since I don't know your name, telling you will be difficult." He said, and I laughed quietly.
"As free as I look to you, I can't leave Grimmauld Place without a wizarding escort. And I really don't feel like going to some Dark Wizard and getting captured just to deliver a message." I said lightly, but he continued as if I hadn't said anything. He looked determined now, and it made me slightly uneasy.
"I need you to tell Kingsley Shacklebolt that I want to be questioned under Veratisereum about my intentions and what I can do for the Order." He said this calmly enough, but it was like a slap to the face.
"Beg your pardon?" I asked reflexively, surprised.
"I want you to tell Kingsley that I want to be questioned under Veratisereum about how I can help the Order." He repeated patiently. I looked at him for a moment, and he looked calm enough to not be going mad, but I had to test him.
"Has this attic scrambled your brain? Veratisereum will make you say anything, any of your secrets!" I felt oddly protective of this man, like he deserved his privacy. He just nodded. I bit my lip, then sighed. "I'll pass it on, but Kingsley is twisted. Anything you say he'll use against you. Whatever affect you want this to have, it may not be what you get out of it." I turned and left, and once out of his hearing, flew down the stairs to find Kingsley. "Kingsley," I addressed him, once I found him in the drawing room, playing chess with Diggle. He looked up and sighed.
"What now, Quinty?" He sighed, ignoring Diggle who greeted me cheerfully, a stark contrast to the rude greeting Kingsley gave me.
"The wizard in the attic, he wants to be questioned with Veratisereum." I said cautiously, realizing that this was going to be harder to explain than I had thought.
"Does he now? And how would you know that?" I had his attention, but that wasn't a good thing.
"I went up there to practice on him." I lied on the spot, and smiled a little, even though my brain was reacting frantically to my lie. "He's a good target; it's more satisfying than I would have thought." I said casually, leaning against the chest of drawers. Kingsley actually bought my lie, looking pleased, the sick bastard.
"Good, maybe we can get more answers out of him. He was my last resort if you couldn't find anything, and we would have used force to make him spill. Go get him ready for me, I'll assemble the Order and get the potion." He stood up swiftly, and I nodded, then when I was out of sight, bolted back up the steps and nodded to Hestia, who let me back in without question. Draco looked up in surprise from the window, standing up almost wearily as the door closed, but he looked hopeful, even though his face was resigned.
"Sorry about this, I have to reinforce a lie here," I explained quickly, and crossed the room and decked him across the face. "I had to lie to Kingsley as to why I would be talking to you, told him I was beating you up-" I winced at the same time he did as I kicked him in the stomach. "Sorry!" I felt terrible beating up someone defenseless, especially when I punched him right in the eye. He spat, his spit red from his split lip from my punch as I heard feet on the stairs. "Shit, shit-" I thought quickly as his eye slowly began to blacken, and I took his hand, and broke his pinky finger, his face twisting in pain. But moments before, when I was holding his hand, I swear to God he looked almost happy, like he wanted to hold my hand.
"Is he ready?" Kingsley asked in a bored tone of voice, as the door opened. I moved away from Malfoy without looking at him and ignored the look on Tonks's face when she saw Malfoy. She now knew that I had lied again. To whom, she couldn't be sure. She surely knew that I came up here after every mission, but what I was doing had been blessedly overlooked by all. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak, and backed up as Kingsley lazily strode towards Draco, who had haughtily drawn himself up with all the authority he could muster, despite his black eye and bleeding lip, his hand with the broken finger cradled in his other. "Sit down and drink this." Kingsley said harshly, and Draco lightly took the potion with his injured hand, subtly showing off his broken finger. Guilt shot through me. Why would he continue my lie? He drank the potion like a shot, and his face almost instantly changed to untroubled and calm.
"Your name, boy?" Kingsley asked, looking like he was enjoying himself.
"Draco Malfoy."
"Are you a Death Eater by choice?" I threw in, and he turned and glared at me as Draco replied.
"If I hadn't joined, I would have surely died, my family as well."
"Where was the Dark Lord the last time you saw him?" Kingsley asked quickly, before anyone else could ask a question.
"He was at our family mansion, the new headquarters for the Dark Lord."
"Why where you with Fenrir Greyback when you attacked the Muggle in her kitchen?" Lupin asked sharply, and Kingsley glared at him too.
"It was punishment from the Dark Lord. I had failed to kill Dumbledore by my own hand, after showing reluctance to do so. He decided it would be good for me."
I was frozen. The kid was forced into service and trying to kill me was punishment for not killing Dumbledore?
This is the last chapter I'll be putting on for a while, I have exams to study for, so (unfortunately) I can't be writing fanfiction.
blackorchestrafreak