See Who I Am

Is it true what they say,

Are we too blind to find the way?

Fear of the unknown cloud our hearts today.

Come into my world,

See through my eyes.

Try to understand,

Don't want to lose what we have

Draco

9/6/10

11:45 p.m.

When Jenny fell, I went to leap up and found that I couldn't, my joints wouldn't even bend; they were tied down to tightly. Lupin had incredibly fast reflexes, and he caught her and scooped her up before she could hit the floor again. She barely fit in his arms, she was so tall. "I'm going to murder Kingsley the next time I see him!" Mrs. Weasley said fiercely as she ran to get the door for Lupin. Watching her go was agonizing. She was totally limp, her long blond ponytail almost brushing the floor as her head rolled lightly with Lupin's step. Her face was peaceful for once, totally clear of emotion; she was gorgeous. He vanished down the stairs, and I felt anxious for her once more. Why did she black out? Was she alright, hurt, injured? Tonks pointed her wand at me and thankfully, the rope vanished and I rubbed my wrists, my skin covered in angry red marks from the bonds.

"Last time, and then we'll review your answers and make a decision." She said almost sympathetically, and I took the potion from her.

"We'll she be alright? Jenny?" I asked, relishing the feeling of knowing her name. When she had answered her question through the Veritasereum, it had surprised me, but made me feel much better. Tonks sighed, looking slightly worried herself.

"I hope so, she's been through enough. Drink." She ordered, and with a sigh, I took Veritasereum again; the empty feeling came back once more. "What was your O.W.L. score for potions?"

"Outstanding."

"Why would you want to make potions for the Order?"

"Because I don't want to leave here and return to Dark Magic. I could at least help Jenny and the Order while I'm here."

"Do you want to hurt Harry Potter?"

"He's an asshole, but I don't want to kill him."

"Do you want to cause anyone here harm?"

"Kingsley Shacklebolt." Someone laughed darkly.

"Do you love Jenny Quinty?"

"Yes."

Jenny

9/7/10

1:23 a.m.

When I opened my eyes, I was back in my room, tucked into my bed. Lupin was reading a book, sitting against my desk. As if from a dream, everything came back. The lies, beating up Malfoy. His interrogation, Kingsley's attack, taking the Veritasereum, feeling like I was falling away, hands catching me…I sat straight up in bed and regretted it. I was back to the beginning again, sore and hurting. Lupin started at my sudden movement and got up, setting his book down. "Jenny, are you feeling alright?" he asked carefully, coming to stand beside the bed as I gritted my teeth, reclining.

"A little confused…what happened? Where's Kingsley?" I asked carefully, wincing when I said his name. Fucking git.

"He's being tracked down to have his memory modified, but he's been hard to find. We accidentally let him go without safeguarding our location and you. I don't blame Arthur, no one does; we would have done the same thing in that situation." Lupin rubbed his face tiredly. I sighed and closed my eyes, my brain overloaded again.

"What if he is selling us out? Grimmauld Place probably isn't safe anymore." I said quietly, starting to rub my temples. My head was still ringing slightly, and my mouth felt dry just thinking about Kingsley. I hadn't known him for long, but everyone had held him in high esteem, they had let him become the leader of the Order after Moody died, and I had assumed that everyone treated him with that much respect. How wrong I was.

"He hasn't had the time to, we've been keeping him on the run. We won't let him send a message, and if he does, we'll intercept it. As long as the Ministry doesn't find out, we're hoping that we can find him and modify his memory. As for what you've missed, Draco's interrogation was finished, and Tonks and Mrs. Weasley are going over his answers, even though they left no room for error with the questions." I felt my heart swell slightly, would Lupin and I both be able to take the potion and be safe?

"So he'll be making us potions?" I asked, opening my eyes. Lupin hesitated, looking at me strangely. Something in his gaze made me feel the undeniable need to defend myself. "Ok, let me get this straight, I didn't trick him into anything, I just went up there after every mission and ended up getting a little moody up there, it provided me some privacy. He was just there." Lupin laughed softly at my defensive tone.

"You don't need to explain yourself, you already did."

"I-wait, what? You asked me that? How many questions did you ask?" I sat up in bed, suddenly remembering that I had been questioned. I remembered Draco's questions, but none of my own. What had he found out? Lupin put a gentle hand on my arm.

"Relax, Jenny. Yes, we asked you questions about Malfoy, to clear your name. He didn't learn much more about you, just your name, how you felt at certain times…Oh, Jenny," Lupin sighed, seeing me pale as he mentioned my name, "He's on our side now, he has every right to know who you are. I applaud your efforts so far on keeping your identity a secret, but it doesn't matter anymore." Lupin said earnestly. I looked at him.

"The guy likes me; don't you think that's an occupational hazard?" Lupin laughed lightly.

"Jenny, he won't hurt you." He chuckled, but I shook my head fiercely, somewhere feeling glad that my head felt back to normal already.

"No, I meant for him. I'm a werewolf! What if it's more than just a crush, I mean, what if he's stupid enough to follow us, and I attack him and," Lupin's face had frozen as I ranted, "and, what if I kill him, or bite him." I stopped cold at the thought. I had seen my new teeth in the mirror, with the elongated canines. I hated it. I couldn't imagine them passing through someone's flesh. But I couldn't picture myself as a wolf biting someone either. I knew I wouldn't recognize anyone, but what would I do when I woke up in the morning?

"Jenny," Lupin started finally, his voice hoarse, "I've been mulling that over my whole life about women I've liked, or women that have liked me. It's always put me off; I don't have an answer for you. I'm actually surprised that he would like you, Hermione always said he was a bit of a arrogant shit." He said humorlessly, trying to change the subject. He looked miserable about our topic, and I felt bad for bringing it up.

"Speaking of the arrogant shit, where is he now?" I asked, changing the subject for Lupin. He shot me a tiny grateful look and continued.

"He's still in the attic. Once the Order approves him, he'll get a room. Until then, he's still a prisoner." I frowned, thinking about the blond wizard in the attic. He was going to be a problem. His answers to the questions about caring for me had thrown me off completely; it was like finding out a guy liked me at school, but the first time I had ever heard of a boy liking me. It invoked the same kind of over-thinking panic. That reminded me of Brian, my boyfriend, and I shoved the memory of his face viciously away. I couldn't do that, not now. That was the past.

"What did you ask him about the second time?" I asked, and Lupin shook his head a little, looking weary. I silently plead for him to answer, to distract me.

"We asked him about his experience in Potion Making, cleaned up the issue that Kingsley brought about, and that was it. Really." Lupin emphasized at my expression of mild disbelief. I could feel the that Lupin was keeping something from me, judging by the way he looked away from me, looking deep in thought. What did he ask Draco, and what did Draco say to give him that kind of a reaction? Knowing that Lupin wouldn't tell me, I sighed and flipped back the covers. Lupin helped me out of bed, holding me steady as I regained my balance. I was surprised that he hadn't objected to me getting up, but he knew that I had a high pain tolerance. But I didn't need that tolerance now, I didn't feel bad at all.

"I know this is going to sound sick, but it wasn't as bad as a night after being a wolf. I'm not that sore anymore," I said honestly, stretching. My muscles felt like I had worked out intensely the day before, but the weren't hurting with each step I took. Lupin let go of my arm and I briskly jogged down the hall and back. "Lupin, I'm fine!" I insisted, seeing the look on his face. He ignored me and helped me down the steps to the kitchen anyway, and Mrs. Weasley almost jumped out of her skin when she saw me.

"Merlin's beard, what are you doing up!" She exclaimed, hurrying over and cupping my face, smoothing my hair obsessively. It was down at the moment, someone had freed it from the ponytail, and it came past my elbows. I was lucky that my hair was fine, if it was any thicker I would have had to cut it short for karate. Sometimes I put weighted stones in it and used my hair as a weapon too. But I usually never wore my hair down, it felt strange.

"Mrs. Weasley, I'm fine." I stressed, patting her arm reassuringly. She reminded me too much of my mother when she was worried about me, which seemed like she was all the time. "I was just a little dizzy in the attic, I felt well enough to run a bit, and I'm fine." I accentuated the fine as Mrs. Weasley looked unconvinced. "Where is everyone?" I changed the subject, standing even when she offered me a seat.

"Diggle and Jones are currently after Kingsley. Tonks is upstairs somewhere, and Arthur is taking a nap." She said after a moment of studying me a bit more closely. "Oh, Tonks." Mrs. Weasley said, and I spun around, ready to defend myself against Tonks, who got emotional fast, despite her usual sarcastic manner. When it came to people she loved getting hurt or even sore, she usually flipped out.

"Why are you up?" She cried, running over from the doorway, like she expected me to fall, hugging me tight, and surprising me into laughing as she picked me up with the force of her hug. "Merlin, you still look pale," She continued, setting me down and pulling a Mrs. Weasley, cupping my face and smoothing my hair, patting my shoulders, her hair turning all sorts of shades in her panic.

"Tonks, I'm fine, honestly. It was just a bump on the head," several people in the kitchen yelled out contradictory statements to that fact, and I sighed. "Ok, sorry, my mistake, I'm gravely injured and could be dying at any second- I'm in so much pain, and I'm fainting!" I said dramatically, pretending to faint, making Tonks catch me, thinking I actually was, making me laugh harder in her grasp.

"Don't do that!" Tonks chided half angrily, half chuckling herself, setting me upright again, and swatting me on the arm. A sudden movement in the doorway to the kitchen made me turn again, and the smile slid right off my face in surprise. Draco was standing in the doorway, silently watching us, well, me actually. His eyes caught mine, and his gaze made me want to shiver. He looked amused, but his eyes were so…pretty. It surprised me, how gorgeous the swirling pools of silver actually were. His gaze got more and more intense on mine, and right before they started to smolder deeply, Mrs. Weasley saved me.

"Blimey, Tonks, when were you going to tell me that you let him out!" Mrs. Weasley had caught my gaze and jumped at the sight of him. Thankfully, she snapped me back to my senses, and I looked away from him, suddenly glad my hair was down. It gave me some cover from his piercing and loaded gaze. I knew what he wanted, he wanted to talk to me. Well, he wasn't going to get anywhere with that gaze, even though it threw me hard, my mind going blank, Shit, shit, shit-

"Sorry! I got distracted by little Miss Karate here." Tonks ruffled my hair affectionately, and I ducked quickly out of her grasp, trying to keep myself from staying as pale as I now was. When I had seen him, all the blood left my face drained, and Mrs. Weasley would certainly send me back upstairs if she saw me looking so 'peaky'.

"Do you remember the karate part about that name, Tonks?" I asked mildly, trying to act normally and finally succeeding. He wasn't here. He wasn't here. He isn't here.

Tonks put on a face of mock fear. "Oh no, little Miss Karate is going to beat me up! Egad!" She said dramatically, cupping her face, starting to laugh at my expression, yet trying to keep up her act. "Help me Mrs. Weasley, help me!" Tonks dashed ungratefully over to Mrs. Weasley and tripped, almost falling, and I laughed so hard, I cried, leaning on my knees. Tonks scowled at me as she steadied herself on the counter. Lupin was laughing too, and Mrs. Weasley was chuckling as she patted Tonks on the shoulder. "Oh, shut it all of you," she said lightly, and went to sit down at the table, snagging a butterbeer. After a prod from Mrs. Weasley, I reluctantly sat too. Standing felt better, but I wasn't about to argue with her.

To distract everyone from her fall, Tonks made me try butterbeer. She watched me eagerly as I took a sip and I felt my eyes widen in surprise. It was light and delicious, not what I had expected at all. Tonks crowed as I grinned at her, and she made herself look like me, and mimicked me dancing around the kitchen at the taste of the butterbeer. Pulling me up to dance too, so that two Jenny's were moving around the kitchen, one a lot more gracefully than the other. Tonks dipped me, and of course, tripped again, drenching me in butterbeer and dropping me on the kitchen floor. "Nice one, Tonks." Mrs. Weasley said dryly, flicking her wand at me, and I was suddenly dry, but smelled overpoweringly like butterbeer. Tonks helped me up, blushing furiously.

"I'd give that one a ten out of ten. Don't do anything super crazy while I clean up, ok?" I asked her, and she stuck her tongue out at me. It was weird seeing myself, or rather, how she saw me. Apparently, my hair was perfectly straight with a healthy sheen, and I was tall lean and fit. My face was perfectly clear, with green-blue eyes that seemed to always be filled with emotion, whether it was teasing, happy or sad. I tore my gaze away from Tonks and walked past Draco, and I wasn't surprised to hear him follow me.

I hadn't even put my foot on the first step when he spoke, "Could I have a word?"