The Cross

You refuse to see, you're denying me

the cross I bear but you don't seem to care

Even Judas knew he had lied

Jenny

9/7/10

10:49 a.m.

I turned back around and sat on the steps, waiting for him to talk. This was the worst situation I could have imagined, I was still slightly flushed, a little stiff yet, and smelt overwhelmingly like butterbeer. He pondered me for a moment, then the smirk Hermione had mentioned so frequently suddenly appeared across his face. I felt my heart speed up slightly. I didn't know how to react to such a smirk, with anger or…or what? "How are you, Jenny?" He asked, obviously triumphant that he knew my name.

"Pretty dandy at the moment." I said lightly, resting my cheek in my hand, watching him. Why did his blond little head get in mine so quickly?

"Well, I wanted to ask you a favor," he said after a intense minute of us staring at each other. I was trying to understand why he had started to like me. "Could you tell me what they asked me the first time? About…us?" He suddenly looked awkward, and I frowned. He had mentioned us as if we were a couple.

"They asked you if I ever told you any secrets, if I beat you up, etc." I said calmly. I wasn't going to let him have such a strange affect on me. I had more important things to think about. Mr. Weasley had refused to take me to the Ministry today, so I was stuck at Grimmauld Place again, being stalked by this guy. Yippee. Malfoy looked determined as he asked me another question.

"You're treating me differently now. Did they ask me if…if," He chickened out, and took a deep breath, but I beat him to it, standing up.

"They asked you if you cared about me, and you said yes, if that's what you're wondering. That's why I'm 'treating you differently', because it's creepy and it's dangerous." I meant to say it harshly, but it came out emotionless. He raised an eyebrow.

"I don't understand."

"You were a prisoner of war. I was a spy for your enemy. You getting a…crush on me was kind of creepy. And it's dangerous for you, and for me."

"I'm not dangerous, and neither are you." I glared at him, furious that he was being so calm about the fact that he practically wanted to protect me, like his girlfriend or something.

"Um, hello? I'm a werewolf if you haven't noticed." I pointed to the bite visible on my neck, and he flinched. "And even if you don't like it and was forced into it, you still know Dark Magic, and I'm a Muggle." I said sarcastically, and his look of security fell right off his face.

"I said that? What else did they ask me for, my robe maker?" He looked thunderstruck, like that had been private. It was, but it wasn't anymore.

"Did you think they weren't going to ask you anything they've ever wanted to know? This is Kingsley we are talking about here, and I couldn't exactly come to your aid." He paled further as I mentioned that, and I glared at the floor, remembering. I couldn't help but wonder what Draco must have thought when he 'woke up' and found that scene before his eyes.

"That's another thing I meant to ask you, what the hell was that about?" He sounded so pissed off and confused I laughed bitterly, shaking my head and meeting his gaze.

"They asked you questions that revealed to him that I hadn't been beating you up all this time. He assumed I had been telling you things, so he tied me up. Then when they asked you about what we talked about, I told you not to answer, and he silenced me somehow. The rest you already know." I said flatly.

"So you were kind of protecting my honor?" He asked, sounding surprised. I felt a slight flush brush my face.

"You had a right to some privacy, Kingsley was going to ask you things nobody, not even your family would have asked of you. I did it to try to save my ass too." The look on his face suddenly gave me an idea. "What did they ask me, besides my name and the thing about the transformations?" I asked quickly, before he could make fun of me again in his cocky manner.

"They asked if you liked me or not." He stared at me intensely, leaning forward to see my reaction, and seemed almost pleased when my eyes widened in surprise. Of course he would say that, yet somehow, I knew he wasn't lying.

"Well, w-what did I say?" I asked stupidly, sitting back down and holding my head. Why the bloody hell would they ask that? Malfoy had shown the interest, not me. I mean, if I could break his pinkie finger without another thought…

"You said you didn't know." Draco said, and I frowned, lifting my head and staring down the hallway, trying to think. Obviously, my brain knew things I hadn't grasped and accepted yet. He looked almost impatient, like he was waiting for me to either accept or deny him.

"I didn't know." I repeated quietly, thinking hard. What did that mean? That I'd like him in the future? That I would never like him? "What the bloody hell does that mean?" I asked myself quietly, meaning for it to be rhetorical.

"When you figure it out, I'd like to know too." He said smarmily, and I glared at him as he raised an eyebrow at me, as if to innocently ask me what he did wrong.

"You're too damn cocky for your own good, you know that? And hitting on me after less then 24 hours of me knowing that you 'care for me?' What does that mean anyway, Draco? When you figure it out, I'd like to know." I snapped, and started up the stairs, and he followed me, grinning. Determined to wipe the look off his face, I ignored him.

"Why don't you like me? I want to help you," he said, sounding suddenly sincere, throwing me for a minute. Why he could throw me so quickly and deeply eluded me, irritated me.

"Help all you like, Draco. That doesn't mean I'll fall on my knees in gratitude. Thank you for wanting to help me and making the potions that will keep me and Lupin sane during the full moon. Unfortunately, you won't be doing a whole lot of helping this time around; the full moon is in nine days." Draco stopped dead, but I kept walking. Eventually, he jogged to meet back up with me and caught my arm before I could walk into the bathroom, making me freeze.

"What? I thought I had more time! You can't just go out there again without a potion!" His panicked state actually made him seem cute…DAMN YOU DRACO MALFOY FOR GETTING IN MY HEAD WITH THAT SHIT! Ugh! He is not attractive. He is a cocky git who is probably just a perv. He is not cute in any way, shape or form. Never mind that he is attractive, muscular and clever…DAMN!

I turned to face him, and our noses were almost touching. I was just a few inches shorter than him, but I could still get in his face. His eyes started to smolder, but I ignored it. "One, that's creepy, stop it, Two, don't tell me what to do, Three, I've done it before, and Four, let go of me before I punch you in the balls. I smell like butterbeer and I want a shower." I said calmly, and when he instantly recoiled, looking surprised, yet mischievous, like he wanted to play with me further, I stepped into the bathroom and closed the door in his face. I win, Draco Malfoy. Two can play that game.

When I stepped out of the shower, fully expecting to have to kick him repeatedly to get to my room and have some peace, I was surprised to not find him in the hallway. Only when I was dressed did I smell the smoke coming from a few doors down. I walked to that room and found (unpleasantly) that Malfoy would be living a few doors away from mine. Also, he was brewing a potion. He looked intensely dedicated to what he was doing, and determined. I glanced at a book open on a tiny desk from the doorway and saw that it was open to the Wolfsbane Potion. "Damn it Malfoy, why the hell are you trying? It takes half a month to brew that potion, not nine days. And I'd give it to Lupin anyway, there are only a few left." Malfoy jumped at my voice, but glared at me over the hazy room.

"Half a month from now would be a few weeks before the next full moon. And I'm doing this for you, Jenny." He said firmly, and I entered the room, starting to get angry as he continued with that doing things and caring for me shit. I was sitting next to him before I knew it.

"Why? Why, Draco? Hey," I shook his arm when he turned back to his book, trying to ignore me. His arm was firm and muscular beneath my touch, but I banished the thought from my mind for the moment. "Damn it, now you listen to me. I. Am. A. Werewolf. I am dangerous and will never be safe, no matter how hard you try, alright? I'm a spy too, if I get caught at the Ministry, all your efforts won't matter, they'll make things worse. If I'm questioned, I'll give everything away about you, considering they probably think you're dead. When they find out that you've switched sides, you'll never be safe-" I stopped in surprise when he put a finger on my lips, stopping my rant. I was too shocked to pull away from him, and I was too full of emotion to care as he looked down into my eyes.

"I'm not going to stop caring, Jenny, no matter what you say. I had three weeks to think about the decision I've made. I'm trying to make your life better, no matter how hard it will be, alright?" He said calmly, yet with an authority I couldn't deny. He reminded me so much of Brian, it hurt, and before I knew it, tears boiled over silently. I went to clear my face, but he did it for me, looking concerned, and suddenly, I wanted his concern, I wanted him to care. "What did I say?" He said quietly, and I shook my head, and looked down, smiling into my lap. The moment was bittersweet, when he wasn't being an asshole, he was almost more caring than Brian had been. I didn't care why anymore.

"You remind me of someone I used to be close with." I whispered, closing my eyes and picturing Brian. His hair had been a sandy brown, and it curled up on humid days. His two front teeth had a slight gap between them, but it was adorable. He had been in my karate class as a Teachers Assistant, and I had kicked his ass the first day. We had been together ever since, and he had been the sweetest guy I had ever met. I remembered the last time I had heard his voice, on the phone about ten minutes before the Death Eaters attacked, telling me he was coming over to make sure I was safe home alone. What he must have found… Draco's arm around me suddenly brought me back to his slightly steamy room, the potion bubbling over the crackling fire. It made guilt go through me. Should I stay true to Brian, even though I was already dead to him?

"A family member?" he asked quietly, and I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was watching me closely, like I was fascinating, yet the caring sense of his gaze reminded me of Brian even more.

"A boyfriend. His name was Brian, and when you're not being cocky, you remind me so much of him it's crazy. He was a Teacher's Assistant at the place I was learning Karate. I kicked his ass, and we became really good friends, then he asked me out, and we were a good fit. You're so like him…" I sighed, watching the fire, wondering why he always somehow knew how to make me spill just enough to make me feel better. I gave up trying to understand why Draco liked me, and focused on the suddenly apparent fact that he had an arm around me again.

I considered shrugging him off. I had done it before, I could do it again. I could also stay the way I was, just sitting there, but I didn't want to do that either. While I was mulling over whether or not I should lean into him, he moved his arm off of me, obviously catching on. Without thinking, I leaned into his side and felt much better. It didn't seem too much like he was more than a friend, but it showed him that I was starting to care. "I can never apologize enough for what I let happen." He said, and threw something into the cauldron, making the substance inside suddenly turn grey. It was exactly the same color as the moon, and it made me shiver slightly.

"You don't need to apologize. I heard enough explaining from you yesterday." Malfoy looked slightly annoyed, but looked over at me looking slightly apprehensive.

"How much did I actually say?" He asked, and I sighed before quoting him the best I could.

"'Because I was getting bored and desperate in the attic. I felt terrible about what I had let Greyback do; I wanted to somehow try to make amends.' You also said something about if you didn't join the Death Eaters, they'd kill you." As soon as I said it, I hated the idea, I felt more protective.

"They would have. At least you understand part of the mess." He said almost moodily. "Part of making these potions is a weak attempt to make amends to you, even though I can't ever replace what you had with this Brian fellow." He looked so depressed, I acted instinctively, and I pulled him up with me to a standing position and hugged him. Partly because he looked like he needed a hug, and partly because I certainly did. He returned it almost instantly, and the feeling of being in between strong arms and an equally strong chest was almost better than what Brian had given me.

I'm so sorry. I forgot to update before I went camping, so I left you hanging. I promise to update more!

blackorchestrafreak