Ninja Chef Naruto
By ______
Chapter Seven: Pocky With Ramen
#Sasuke Vs. Kankuro – Kage Box#
Sasuke stood across from his opponent, both glaring at each other in determination. There was intense focus from both competitors as the opening match began.
The Konoha genin dived forward, kunai in hand to meet the Kazekage's son on the field of battle even as the cat-hooded boy removed the bundle from his back in an exaggeratedly lazy gesture. The onyx-eyed shinobi leapt in to start the fray, slashing towards the Suna-nin with speed unparalleled by any of the other Konoha rookies. Yet, despite this his adversary...
Orochimaru's attention was jerked off the fight as the salamander man snorted. Terrified that he was about to be discovered, he strained his sense to pick up what the elder ninja were saying to each other.
"...cheap swill from Grass, don't you have any of the new sake from Wave imported yet? It was one of your teams that settled the dispute wasn't it?" The salamander man groused, tossing a mostly full bottle of sake over his shoulder carelessly.
Sarutobi-sensei had that annoying 'what-to-say, what-to-say' expression on his face, a sure sign he was wondering how much the salamander man knew. "There was outside interference and Wave ultimately decided that if there was trouble again they would simply contact the one who interfered. ...Our ninja are a little nervous about dealing with Wave now as a matter of fact."
The salamander man snorted again. "You mean that pathetic snot-nosed brat Zabuza and his pet 'not a girl' kunoichi? Ha ha ha, to think the leaf would fear him."
"No, those two were noted, but were defeated along with both genin teams and Gato's personnel. You might be familiar with the nuke-nin, he has been giving everyone trouble for a while now." The Sandaime Hokage told his guest as Orochimaru tuned them out again.
Crow was out and lashing wildly now, struggling as the Uchiha kept targeting the threads powering it or the now revealed Kankuro hiding behind his puppet. The match was anything but equal as occasional bursts of fire jutsu charred and burned away at the specially treated wood that composed the ninja-puppet's...
"What!" The salamander man roared suddenly, a noticeable veil of killing intent cloying those seated in the kage box. "Rice wine! I'd kill you if you weren't Hiruzen's subordinate, you under-aged punk." The chunin assistant he was roaring at passed out under the intensity of his chakra, mouth foaming. "Phef. Gutless brat. So then, Hiruzen, what happened to that little blond gaki that said he was gonna take you job. You know, the one that looked like the kid that beat Iwa down single-handedly. Haven't seen him around since I got here."
"Ah, Naruto... He was..." Sarutobi started to answer, immediately getting tuned out by the snake-sannin.
Orochimaru gave a courtesy glance to the others sharing the area. The salamander man and his mini-skirted, strained-vest-clad medi-nin nurse, who seemed far too stressed by her boss's drinking. It reminded him of Tsunade and her assistant, though Tsunade's apprentice wore far less revealing clothes. The Sandaime Hokage and a bodyguard in green spandex who seemed almost pained to remain silent and still. One of Naraki's genin, if he wasn't mistaken. The Godaime Hokage and his appointed bodyguard, whose single eye was locked on one of Jiraiya's grotesque yuri manga. The hair was familiar, but every gray-haired kid wore it in similar style back in the day. The Yondaime Kazekage and his offspring's jounin-sensei. Why did he cover half his face anyway? Himself and Kimimaro. By far the closest to equal skills between bodyguard and kage.
Ten ninja of either kage caliber, or close enough that your typical jounin wouldn't be able to tell the difference outside of how quickly they died.
One thing was certain, unless something vital came up he was not going to reveal himself while the salamander man was around.
Turning his attention back to the field, he got just a glimpse of the Suna-puppet deteriorating into ashes as it's owner was bound in ninja-wire and forced to forfeit.
"Bah. This is embarrassing. How'd he get to the finals when both his siblings lost? The Uchiha are bad for business." The Kazekage grumbled, scowling until he saw the other two siblings go to collect and reassure their defeated brother. He gave a brief flicker of a wistful smile before scowling as he took in the number of Konoha genin still in the running. One was too damn many in his opinion.
Not for the first time Orochimaru wondered just what was wrong with the man.
#Kin Vs. Vivi#
As stated during Vivi's last battle, certain instincts became predominate when on a team with Ryouga, Hotcha and Edward. There was, however, a flaw with these instincts in that they relied greatly upon the distraction of said teammates or the inner-conflicts of self-involved kunoichi in order to have the time to manifest properly. In a duel with an on-task predator determined to show off her prowess to impress her desired mate, the instinct, or indeed anything Vivi was capable of, proved insufficient.
With a single kneecap-to-the-skull-attack, an improvised version of heel-to-your-face-attack for shorter targets, the short ninjutsu specialist from Amegakure was out of the running. And, coincidentally, the arena.
#Stadium: Section Six Seating#
"Oh, Tobi has apparently blinked and missed something important. Leader-dono, Tobi needs an instant replay to see how the elite shinobi from the invincible village that leader-dono himself was incapable of defeating got eliminated by a single attack from an over-busty bimbo kunoichi of a no-name village, plausibly founded by the weakest member of leader-dono's organization. ...Tobi thinks he will sit with Deidara-sempai now as leader-dono is turning an unhealthy shade of red and Tobi would hate to catch anything just moments before exacting petty, yet all consuming vengeance upon a by-now innocent population of villagers who idolize Tobi's lineage and kekkei genkai above all others. ...Leader-dono's scary, save me Deidara-sempai!"
#Shikamaru Vs. Shinji#
Shikamaru considered his potential opponent briefly and everything he had observed and heard about the Kusa-nin. He then focused his thoughts on the sound team and what he knew of them. The sound kunoichi, Kin, could probably knock him out in a single, relatively light blow. She trained with the sound genin that forfeited after narrowly dodging a single attack from the shinobi he was suppose to face, indicating that Shinji hit harder and was possibly faster than Kin.
And they honestly thought someone like him would voluntarily fight a taijutsu-type ninja that displayed superior speed? Even if he beat the berserker he was suppose to fight then he'd have to deal with either Hinata or the bone-user, both of whom were very quick. Hinata might be defeatable as she'd need to get in close and couldn't go flying through the air or surprise him with projectile weapons. Yet...
"Proctor, I forfeit." Shikamaru shouted lazily, prompting the nervous-looking Kusa-nin he was suppose to be competing with to smile thankfully at him. Whatever.
#Stadium: Section Four Seating#
"Ero-sensei, this is boring! I thought we'd see all kinds of super butt-kicking jutsu by now! The only one who did anything cool was that lame duck-butt haired guy. Can't we just go get some ramen and find Naruto-nii-chan instead? You promised we'd look for Naruto-nii-chan after we got here!" Tatsumaki complained, her red mane flowing through the air as she shook her head unhappily.
Jiraiya was annoyed, greatly so, but unable to reply as...
"Some ramen would be nice right now. And you did promise her you'd find her brother after his mysterious disappearance. You aren't stalling for time by having us sit through this incredibly boring chunin exam, are you Ero-ojisan?" The other redhead piped in dangerously from the opposite side of her daughter. Fearing for his life, all the disguised toad hermit could do was shake his head rapidly. Kushina brighten considerably. "Wonderful. There was a stall near the entrance selling ramen from Ichiraku. I'll have two miso."
"One shrimp and one beef for me." Tatsumaki threw in loudly.
"B, but..."
"Your treat, of course Ero-ojisan. After all you are her godfather." Kushina added, a dangerous glint in her partially closed eyes, just like every time she reminded him of his semi-guardian status.
Swallowing, he rose up mechanically and walked along the aisle to hunt down the ramen stand. Why couldn't he have just kidnapped the other brat when he had the chance, council be damned? Between these two being female and the guilt left over from failing to live up to his godparent status with the boy his bank account was personally financing at least a dozen ramen stands. Dammit Minato, why the hell did it have to be you? And why did it have to be the anti-pervert, ramen-glutton of a redhead?
At least he was sure that however the other twin had been raised, they couldn't possibly be half as much trouble as Tatsumaki proved to be.
Nobody could be that annoying.
#Zaku Vs. Hinata – Kage Box#
Kimimaro watched intently, measuring every wasted movement and speck of chakra Zaku lost simply by walking down to the arena floor. His opponent's loses from the same journey were probably greater, but that was irrelevant. Zaku was one of his now, a Kaguya by ability if not by actual blood and there were certain things Kaguya were expected to do and be capable of. Zaku, so far, lived up to his now vaulted status only through his sensei's training. His other sensei's training, Kimimaro refused to acknowledge him as one of his students until he proved worthy of such honor.
It was something no one in the world was able to claim thanks his standards and the fact that nearly everyone else alive was trash or in need of being put down. Except Orochimaru-sama and Naruto. Well, except Orochimaru-sama anyway, but there was no way he was even going to try to put down Naruto. Killing the orange-haired chef was admittedly beyond his current skills or at least so close to the upper limit that he'd rather not test it while they were both working for Orochimaru-sama.
The bone-master watched dispassionately as his potential replacement wasted vast quantities of chakra launching sword-sized fibula and ulna while dancing wildly to try and keep his distance from the Hyuga kunoichi. A valid strategy, if not for the fact that while he had enormous chakra reserves for his age and training, he was still limited to about newly-minted-jounin level.
It was startling that the Hyuga was capable of sliding along quickly enough to not only evade the attacks, but approach their source without injury. Startling, but doubtlessly a fault of his student, Hyuga were only able to use Jyuuken after all. The way that her kunai could deflect the bone-weapons and cause them to explode was simply more evidence that Zaku was defective.
"You fucking weak limp-boned fagot! Get your fucking head out of your ass and fight like the kami-fucking-damned Kaguya your suppose to be imitating!" The pale man yelled as he lost his temper. It became apparent that Tayuya didn't just randomly start cussing, but actually picked it up somewhere. Or from someone, anyway.
"Calm yourself Kimimaro. You know what happens when you get too excited. Ku ku ku." Orochimaru-sama broke in, stopping the storm that had been building.
"Hai, Otokage-sama. Gomen. I did not mean to let my temper affect my vocabulary again. I apologize." The pale, slightly sickly man stated in his usual dead and even monotone. He had done his best to learn to control his temper after Tayuya started imitating his mode of speech, thinking that since he talked like that and was strong it would make her sound tough instead of obnoxious and obscene. He had yet to find a way to correct her behavior.
"Ku ku ku. It's permissible. The boy is doing poorly, but then he is also fighting a Hyuga. A main branch one, if I'm not mistaken. It's likely she can see and predict how he plans to manipulate his bones at any given moment." Orochimaru-sama observed, as the pale-eyed girl slipped narrowly through Zaku's guard, tapping a single tenketsu as she passed.
Watching her and noting what he could of her movement compared to Zaku's, he realized Orochimaru-sama was correct, as always. The girl's eyes were reading how the bones moved and allowing her to dodge where any ninja without such sight would be taken by surprise and skewered. He bowed his head. "Otokage-sama, I can only apologize for not foreseeing this and training the boy specifically to counter for it. Any fault is mine."
"Ku ku ku. Oversights are to be expected at times. Such a small mistake does no harm to our plans, if anything the Hyuga believing they can read his movements now could be beneficial once corrected. It will be excused this time."
Watching absently as Zaku shot his ribs out in a last-ditch effort to keep the girl from tapping the last few open tenketsu he had, Kimimaro was once again startled by the speed she displayed as she stepped around the projectiles and struck anyway. Perhaps there was something else going on here. Orochimaru-sama was certainly wise to recognize a potential advantage like this for what it was, all Kimimaro could see was the flaws in the boy's style that led to this defeat.
Orochimaru-sama was so smart.
#Generic Vs. Ryouga – Competitor Waiting Area#
"Gah! He was here just a second ago! Where the hell is he? Dammit! Hanzo's not going to be happy about this." A certain short, blond haired Ame-jounin shouted, searching hopelessly for the eternal lost shinobi.
#Kage Box#
"Phef. Figures the whippersnapper got lost now. You lucked out once again Hiruzen." The leader of Amegakure declared brazenly, laughing as he downed another bottle of sake before breathing deeply through the tubes attached to his nose.
#Rei Vs. Hotcha – Stadium: Section Eight Seating#
Itachi watched dispassionately as the pale kunoichi avoided the gnome-like shinobi, displaying each of her skills at various turns without ever confronting her enemy. Odd, but even if they were here to attack the village during the finals, Itachi could no longer ignore the instinctive drive within himself.
Long, long ago Itachi had been given an order. It was a simple order and easy enough to follow out too. Kill his entire family.
It was unfortunate that he had been intercepted by Obito Namikaze before he could double back and flank them after pretending to flee, but Obito wasn't a part of his family anymore by then and so killing him was against his orders. He thought. It was kind of hazy after all these years, but he was still eighty percent certain he wasn't suppose to kill his fellow ANBU captain at the time. Maybe.
As it was he retreated, leaving his mission incomplete. Most would shrug it off, say it was a good run and walk away. Some might sneak back around or snipe out Uchiha on missions to finish the job, or just recover and suddenly slaughter the remaining clan members indiscriminately out of the blue one day. It was a surprisingly common trend among ninja clans in the elemental countries after all. But Itachi was among the few, the very, very few, who would go about finishing what he started in a moderately obsessive way while still confining it to his free time. Like a hobby.
He had, in fact, written a list as soon as Yahiko-sama announced they were to attack Konoha. If he was there anyway, why not tie up a few loose ends? The only problem was he couldn't quite remember everyone and he also a nagging feeling he was suppose to leave at least one of them alive. Oh well, he undoubtedly forgot someone so at least one of them was going to survive regardless.
Itachi scanned the list once more, trying to figure out why it felt wrong. Uchiha Ami, Uchiha Rei, Uchiha Minako, Makoto, Hotaru, Haruka, Michiru, Setsuna... Ah, he had forgotten Usagi, nice save there. A few brush strokes later the fictitious Uchiha was added. Good, good, who else? Uchiha Shemp, Moe, Curly and Larry... Hmm... Shemp would be a very dangerous foe when the time came. Who else?
His sisters, yes. His cousins, yes. His uncles, aunts and grandparents, sure. His mother... Wait a minute, he already killed her. How silly of him, he couldn't kill someone he already killed before. Itachi crossed Uchiha Motoko off the list. If she showed up he'd just have to ignore her. Let's see... Ah, he forgot two Uchiha, that's why it felt so wrong. With another few brush strokes Uchiha Sasuke and Uchiha Madara were added to the vaulted seventh and four-hundred and sixty-eighth most dangerous targets. He nodded in satisfaction.
A stray thought about any new Uchiha born since he left was quickly silenced and ejected from his mind, via trading one of his thoughts with someone else's through the Sharingan. That always helped alleviate his guilt. Now he just needed to remember the password Orochimaru gave him to contact him from the kage box. What odd thoughts that gray-haired, glasses wearing ANBU was having.
Slap. "How dare you! Do you know how long it took me to convince myself I was capable of helping others? That I wasn't some horrible monster just because everyone said I was?"
Hmm. A lover's spat. Perhaps he should take a different rou... Ah, how fortunate. If there were bodies to dispose of, to prevent the Sharingan from spreading misery and pain as it was meant to, this was the man he needed.
"Excuse me. I wish to request a custom dish." Now what kind of food would be best? Well, he liked pocky so that was as good as any other. Besides, if the chef really was capable of making the ultimate food of any type, pocky deserved to have such perfection made of it. "I desire the ultimate Sharingan pocky. If I supply all the... parts, will you be capable of producing it and returning half to me?"
"Eh? Sharingan pocky with ramen? Sure, if you can find a Sharingan." The feared culinary expert replied easily, ignoring his female companion.
"Thank you." That was the appropriate response, right?
"Th, there are people who actually want you to cook?" The cat-eyed kunoichi ask in disbelief.
"Well sure, it's like nii-chan always said 'if you're going to go around senselessly killing people so they can't kill you first, you might as well get a meal out of it.'"
Feeling a certain guilty pleasure at the thought of the ninja world finally bowing down to the laws of nature, Itachi reacted as he had conditioned himself to when feeling guilt.
With a glance at the cat-eyed girl he traded out his current thought, watching curiously as her expression changed from 'oh kami that's sick' to 'I know it's wrong, but I like it'.
...Was she purring?
He, of course, couldn't begin to understand as Itachi had fought for years to be viewed as the person he was and not the Twin-Tailed Nekomata sealed within him. Hmm. He hadn't known he was a jinchuriki. But then again, his past was filled with hardships and he did surpass his peers by an almost supernatural amount... He kind of wished someone had told him this early. Oh well.
The job needed to be done and if this was how he had to dispose of the evidence, so be it. He was a ninja on a mission, outdated and counterproductive as it was.
Suddenly he spotted one. Itachi wasn't sure how Uchiha Hotaru had gone from a cute, tiny and demure little girl to a giant, paunchy and balding man, but he didn't particularly care. He had found his first target.
"Proctor, I have shown the full extent of my abilities. I decline further combat."
"Winner, Hotcha."
The booing that followed perfectly masked any noise Itachi might have made as he struck. One down, four-hundred and seven to go.
...Or something like that.
#Sasuke Vs. Kin – Kage Box#
Kakashi smirked as the match was announced. The time was now.
Obito had asked him to decipher the secrets of the Sharingan and he had done just that. It was simple really, the more detached from reality its user was, the more capable their Sharingan was of rewriting reality. Put in the most basic terms, the more insane, the more powerful. It was truly a tragedy of wasted potential that Sasuke was a relatively well-adjusted and reasonable person. If only he had directly encountered his brother just as most of his family was slain only to be trapped in a genjutsu that replayed the entire massacre hundreds of thousands of times in the span of a single second or had the entire village praise him wildly until it developed into an unreasoning superiority complex he might have been capable of so much more.
As it was he only had the basic powers or lowest level of completion, if you would. Formidable, true, yet also limited to well within the bounds of simple, if constant, training and physical conditioning for normal, non-kekkei genkai-ed ninja. Oh well, there were all kinds of chances to slowly crush his logical side and send him spiraling into an abyss of irrationality. Perhaps witnessing his teammate's death in a few tragic training accidents would be a nice start. It wasn't as if anyone would miss what's-his-name anyways.
The jounin snickered sinisterly, pretending to read Icha Icha DearS.
Sasuke stood proudly in the arena, Sharingan spinning in complete, three toma form. His opponent was clearly trying to pretend she was unimpressed, but even with her inhumanly perfect acting Kakashi saw right through her. No one could resist the Sharingan without another Sharingan. Well, except that creepy Torikesugan Obito had, but since it was a hybrid of the Sharingan with another doujutsu it accounted for the god-mod powers of an insane Sharingan user by having them built in.
He winced as Sasuke barely kept up, even with the predicting powers. There hadn't been time to make him illogical enough to predict as far ahead as he needed, as opposed to reading a preset split second forward. The girl was faster than Kakashi anticipated, it seemed. That knocked out the trip her, sprawling her over his lap and spanking her into submission before she could react, but luckily enough Kakashi had the forethought to create a few back-up plans. If only she had been a genjutsu type, then Kakashi could be savoring a reenactment of chapter 6 from Icha Icha Rosario right now.
Why, he could visualize it. She had the proper body-type to play the blue-haired succubus and after talking Sasuke into the need of powerful breeder kunoichi to build up his clan stronger than ever before... Well, that and reassuring him that she wasn't going to geld him once he finished. Ah yes, he could practically hear the sound of a swift hand slapping well-formed, feminine buttocks, complete with the minute whimperings and groans that followed each, masterfully pleasurable blow.
Oh, that was her shin impacting his student's body. And that one was a foot. Now a palm. Hmm. Sasuke appeared to be failing despite the awesome power of a Sharingan. But how could that be? Kakashi knew the approximate limits of his own and Sasuke wasn't that much saner than he was... right? Perhaps he actually had required some physical conditioning after all. Heh, hindsight.
He'd just have to deal with Obito afterwards.
#Sasuke Vs. Kin#
Sasuke was not having a good day. The first match of the tournament had gone perfectly, just like he and sensei had planned, but this girl... She was better than he'd thought even with Lee and Kiba's warnings. With the incredible, bruising power of each blow and her impractically high agility this was likely to turn out as his first fight with Lee had.
A partial block sent bone-jarring pain shooting up his arm. An attempt to evade caused friction burns from a slight graze. And trying to counter saw an almost bone breaking strike land on his calf. Yet, so far, she hadn't really aimed for a vital or knock out blow, being content to rain her attacks on his arms and legs, with only occasional snipes at his head and ribs.
She was playing with him, dragging this out to make him look bad or herself look better.
Regardless that was going to be her downfall. In a swift, skilled shift of stance he was no longer using the intercepting fist, but instead imitating her own fighting style, having seen quite a bit of it during his beating. This startled her enough to let him land a hit of his own, though only to her shoulder. He then broke their close proximity and hurled a storm of shurikens and ninja wire in her general direction to at least limit her mobility. Kakashi-sensei's plan called for a different use of the wire, but it looked unlikely now.
Somehow, though, he really did catch her, spread-eagling her in mid-air, bound in wire that would dice her to pieces if she moved. He hesitated.
After all the grace and speed she had displayed, something felt wrong about her being caught so easily. That and he really didn't want to go through with sensei's plan. Unfortunately his eyes showed no genjutsu, though her smirk told him it was a trap of some kind.
Acting quickly to prevent her from escaping, he shoved her torso forwards so she was leaning over, before flipping up the immodest skirt of her kimono, exposing pale, curved flesh and the small, orange piece of fabric nestled between.
She wiggled in her bonds, unhappy and trying to glare at him. "H-hey! What the hell are you doing?"
Sasuke couldn't remember the line of dialogue sensei had told him to say, so instead he started running through the motions. ...Fondle, fondle.
"You bastard, let go of me. Stop that!"
He was suppose to say something about master and obedience, but even with that in mind, the lines just wouldn't come to him. ...Smack. Smack.
"I'll kill you!"
He hoped his silence wasn't going to ruin sensei's plan... Whatever it was. ...And then, gently tug down the thong before resuming the spanking...
Without his Sharingan activated there was no way for Sasuke to react as part of his victim turned into wooden planks and stretched at him, slamming into his nose with more force than any of her previous attacks. He managed, with a flip, to land on his feet, watching in fascination as the kunoichi pulled an arm free of the ninja wire, shredding it into bits of wood and rupturing the transformation around that arm. A few simple swats weren't going to disspell a clone made of solid material after all.
"Die!" The wood clone shouted, charging with a splintery stump lashing out in front of her. He dodged, barely and countered by spewing a few, minor fireballs. This in turn created a flaming wood clone, which still chased after him until it burned down to ashes.
"You bastard!" The voice of his opponent roared from the other end of the field.
Whipping his head around, he caught sight of her just in time to see her begin a series of handsigns. Naturally he copied her.
Vines shot from the ground around him as they both finished, though nothing appeared to happen to her. The tendrils wasted no time in wrapping around him and constricting in, trying to squeeze the life out of him. Genjutsu. He knew this was a genjutsu, he'd even seen this exact one before and escaped from it. So why... Why were the vines still there? Why was it getting so hard to breath...
Was this... was this real?
He passed out from lack of air as the proctor called the match, the jounin of Konoha as a whole disquieted as many recognized a legendary jutsu of their founder for what it was, each having met Tenzo at least once before.
To have an over-breasted little genin from sound display such jutsu...
It took four jounin to keep her from killing Sasuke that day, but none of them could stop the vow to hunt him down, along with every member of his family, and make him pay for this outrage even if it killed her.
And then blissful blushing fantasies while thinking about sensei watching her match and perhaps, if he was angled right, getting a peek of... With one hand covering her bleeding nose, Kin darted for a bathroom.
#Stadium: Section Two Seating#
Ino felt slightly sick after having watched Sasuke's second match. To see him attempt to rape an enemy kunoichi in front of a crowd and then remember that she had been chasing after him all this time...
The poor girl was so distraught that even though she won, she had immediately darted off to be alone.
Ino was just glad Sakura wasn't here to see this.
#Shinji Vs. Hinata – Stadium: Private Hyuga Seating#
Hanabi was not happy. This wasn't unusual per say, she had generally been unhappy in one form or another since the age of two, but it was more pronounced than it ever had been before. After having witnessed the abilities Hinata showed against the sound bone-user, it became clear that her dear sister had been holding back when fighting Hanabi herself. Or even Neji and Father. Holding back a lot.
In a way she was grateful, her sister's now apparent unwillingness to harm family and friends had been protecting Hanabi from being casted down to a serving girl for years and by now her training would at least prevent her from falling that low. But then her inborn Hyuga pride reared its head, pissed beyond all measure at the fact that Hinata thought she couldn't handle the full breadth of her elder sister's skills. She couldn't, of course, but Hinata hardly even displayed a fraction of the potential she'd shown in the first round. Thrown on top of that was fear. Fear of being placed in the branch house anyway, fear for her sister suffering the same fate and fear that her sister wouldn't survive this event.
Her opponent hadn't shown any of his abilities yet, at least not to this audience, yet the Nara had clearly put some thought and apprehension into forfeiting. The Kusa-nin may not look like much, but his teammate was certainly skilled enough to put faith into their jounin-sensei's teaching abilities. Besides, no matter how convincing from a distance, only up close could you even hope to tell a true weakling from a skilled actor, something any given shinobi should be in theory. Yes, Hanabi was worried for her sister, win or loss.
And then there was the man who was suppose to be her father. Maybe he even had been at one point, though now was little more than a pompous ass who was so self-absorbed with duty and prestige that the closest she could ever feel towards him was 'fellow main house Hyuga'. Often, once she realized he was the one driving her from her own sister, Hanabi thought of him as less than that. Fortunately the mostly emotionless, but slightly angry expression he caused in her was passable as a haughty, too-good-for-this Hyuga face so even though he was sitting next to her he was unlikely to be a threat.
The match started on an unexpected note, Hinata's opponent cowering as she closed on him with a killing strike aimed to end the fight in a single blow. When her alarmingly fast sister was within a scant five feet, the Kusa-nin reacted.
Bending and twisting in an unnaturally animalistic dodge, the shinobi landed in an awkward looking crouch, similar to what Hanabi would expect from a transformed Inuzuka. He growled and roared spectacularly, throwing out a cloud of chakra and undefined, but bloodthirsty intent strong enough to be felt even from her current distance. Hinata flinched at the malevolence, but the male ninja simply eyed her warily, human rational clearly absence from his eyes.
"Flinching from a mere genin's killing intent. How weak she still proves to be." Hiashi intoned arrogantly from beside his daughter, drawing her attention briefly, though her eyes remained on the match. "Still, it is fortunate that her opponent is a berserker. Once in a combat haze there is little a Jyuuken strike can do to stop, or even limit him. It seems I will get to banish her to the branch house sooner than anticipated."
Hinata shifted her stance, just a twitch of her left foot really, cuing the observing enemy to leap at her, monstrous intentions radiating from him. The kunoichi managed one grazing poke to the shinobi's side while receiving a similar graze that sliced open her jacket sleeve as she slid backwards.
"I see now. Lacking the competence to properly perform a Kaiten, she perverted the axis spin to create a sliding movement technique. Hmph, foolish girl, perhaps some time among the janitorial staff will show her the error of corrupting the Jyuuken."
The Hyuga competitor evaded frantically, trying to break from her enemy and get just enough room to think. The Kusa-nin, in contrast, was a savage, relentless force of nature, tearing through all obstacles and terrain in a narrow, yet futile, race to kill the pale-eyed girl. Suddenly switching to an offensive, and perhaps realizing Jyuuken strikes weren't slowing him down like they should as she accumulated more in exchange for reducing her coat to tattered rags, the girl stabbed in with a kunai.
"To use a weapon hand to hand in combination with the noble Jyuuken... Criminal, she shall be punished severely for this. Hmm, she did wish to be a mother one day and as a ninja she is of age. The branch house does lose member with some frequency. Yes, there hasn't been an appointed breeder kunoichi among them in decades. The elders will doubtlessly be pleased." Hiashi pondered, forcing Hanabi to spare a glance at him, just in case he was trying to tell a bad, poorly thought-out and foul joke.
He wasn't.
The kunai missed, striking the dirt as Hinata stumbled into a barely existent guard. The earth, naturally, exploded beneath the fighters' feet.
"I see her deviances know no limits. Channeling the Jyuuken through a weapon, thoughtful. Yes, almost clever. If she wasn't trying to use such a barbaric technique in front of the public it would almost be praise worthy. Perhaps I can trick someone into purchasing her as a sterile concubine? The sterilization would only take a few 'accidental' Jyuuken strikes... Yes, it's for the best."
Hanabi said nothing, but shivered mutedly at the thought of such a horrible fate being decided for anyone just for trying their best.
The berserker weaved into the Hyuga's guard, twisting unnaturally again to land a knee on the girl's face, followed quickly by a backhand to her waist and finally a heel-drop to the back of her head. He roared in victory, preparing to savage the unconscious body of the defeated, teeth baring down towards her exposed and defenseless throat.
And suddenly he sprayed blood from his nose and fell back, turning into the same wimpy creature he'd been before the match started.
"Ah, wonderful timing. I shall have to perform the sealing immediately, as a statement to the public that such failures among the Hyuga are not permitted. You may continue to observe the exam with your branch house escorts if you wish, daughter."
Hanabi felt like crying, she was so revolted by her genetic father's acts. But in reality all she could do for now was bare it and hope that either something happened to save her sister or that she could undo the damage once she was the clanhead. Assuming Hiashi-teme didn't foist her off and set about making a new heir.
#Generic Vs. Hotcha#
"What, you expect me to fight a guy?"
#Land Of Snow#
Koyuki stared impassively at the frozen wreckage of her uncle's dirigible. The area around the smashed airship was littered with kunai and an almost endless assortment of bones in all shapes and sizes, most modeled after weapons.
"Here Kazahana-hime, this is what he was so obsessed over." One of the faceless commoners shouted, waving her over to an alter sitting on a pillar of ice. "He spent months having this dug out of the ice and had that damn airship hovering over it all the time. I don't..."
Koyuki silenced him with a gesture, examining the odd piece of technology in front of her. The dial, it almost looked like... Taking off her necklace she placed it carefully into the niche. "The ninja who defeated my uncle, where are they now?"
"We don't know, Kazahana-hime. They just sort of wandered in, asked where to find ninja wearing chakra armor and left shortly after destroying the airship." The peasant answered.
Koyuki scowled and slowly turned the dial.
With an incredible mechanical whir the field shattered and the sky split, spilling heat and light through the area. While her followers panicked Koyuki stared on emotionlessly, her mask melting moment by moment as memories returned to her and the land of snow was laggardly transformed into the land of spring. All this time, her parents had meant...
She quickly covered her mouth with both hands to prevent the sob from being heard as tears flowed from her eyes. Once the transition was complete she composed herself, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand.
She turned to face her aides, knowledge of what must be done driving her on. A nation without a true ninja force could be easily overrun. There was only one course of action. "Bring me the ninja who defeated my uncle. Offer him whatever he desires, just bring him here. I must meet this Zaku."
The nervous commoner bowed and fled as the rest of Koyuki's escort closed in to lead her back to the capital.
How does one secure a powerful ninja clan to protect their legacy? Perhaps it was time to consider producing an heir...
#Konoha Arena#
"I'm not fighting anything with dangly parts. I quit!"
#Generic Vs. Shinji#
"I, I can do this... I mustn't run away, mustn't... run..." Shinji toppled over as Rei chopped the back of his neck lightly.
"Between the damage suffered against the Hyuga and the method of achieving a berserker state, another battle at the moment would prove fatal. Rest." The albino ordered, gently picking up her unconscious teammate and stalking towards the medics.
#Kage Box Entrance#
Two ANBU moved towards the guards at the same time.
"Captain, someone's slaughtering every Uchiha over the age of nine and stealing their bodies!" One declared, clearly worried.
"Gather the anti-Itachi squad. We always knew this day would come." The lead guard replied, giving a powerful and dramatic waving gesture with his arms. "We'll scour the entire village if we have to!"
"Ahem. I need to speak with Otokage-sama." The other newly arrived ANBU said.
"Password." Another masked guard asked, bored.
"'Perhaps I should also slay those Uchiha born since I was last here as well. Yes, that's for the best.'" The gray-haired, glasses wearing ANBU said, using Itachi's body language, inflections and dour, expressionless monotone.
Luckily for everyone who isn't Kabuto, ANBU have unbelievably accurate memories, even capable, some claimed, of recalling things after being reincarnated. They would naturally remember subtle clues about a man they worked closely with and under for years. Without knowing it, Kabuto did a flawless, spot on Itachi impression, almost like he was reading the man's mind.
"It's Itachi! He's after the Hokage!"
"Get reinforcements now! Every unit is to rendezvous on my position ASAP!"
"He's trying to escape! After him!"
#Generic Vs. Kin#
"Bleh. I'm not fighting someone like that, sensei already warned us about bland things and after the Uchiha beating down a ninja that didn't fight a single battle is kind of pointless. I forfeit." Kin declared loudly, taking a brief break between riding out a fantasy scenario in the bathroom and seeking out her sensei to see if the fantasy could be applied in real life. A thin stream of blood dribbled from one nostril before being wiped away.
#Stadium: Section Six Seating#
"Dammit! There isn't going to be a final match, move, move, move! We're already out of time to set things up and... what's with all these feathers?"
"Oh, Tobi recognizes this! Pick me sempai, pick me! Tobi knows the answer!"
"They aren't falling asleep, get them!" A few audience members who were still awake shouted, shedding their disguises to reveal painfully plain Suna and Oto-nin outfits.
"We don't have time for this, get to the arena floor! Tobi, take them out and meet us down there."
"Yes leader-dono! Yay! Now Tobi is sure to be praised! But first..." The man in a orange mask with a single eye-hole said, reaching into his red and black cloak. "Tobi must draw his weapon." With a single tug various laws of physics were shattered as the mask shinobi drew a massive bazooka-like object from his robes, the device easily measuring one and a half times his size. "Yay land-shark gun!" The gigantic weapon spat out a single blue blob, about the size of a kunai, landing less than ten feet away in a slow, lazy arch.
The other ninja paused in confusion to glance at each other. What was this lunatic...
And then a great-white burst from the concrete stadium floor and closed its jaws on Akuma, shaking him back and forth before pulling him down beneath the surface of the surprisingly malleable floor.
Their attention was instantly back on the mask cyclopes as a gleam of mania shone from his eye. "Tobi should say something cool here, but Tobi can't think of anything."
#Author's Notes#
I do apologize if this seems random at all, but there is truly is no hard-copy of a plan, just a collection of loose notes, ideas and 'hey won't this scene be cool?' moments. I will promise that any OC villains will not be the mindlessly overpowered, out-of-freaking-no-where, that's-not-what-he-was-limited-to-a-minute-ago, generic evil purpose types. They might be one, two or even three of those, but not all four. They will, in fact, be stolen. I point this out because, to me, the only thing that kills interest in a story faster is a one sentence opening scene followed by a multi-paragraph flashback.
You might have noticed, but I don't use many flashbacks and certainly not frequently. This is because I hate them. No, seriously, they are among the most misused, improperly understood tools in a writer's arsenal. You never, never, NEVER have a flashback in the prologue and shouldn't have one within the first few chapters at all unless they're really short or so absolutely vital that the story will collapse without them. And if the flashback is absolutely necessary in the prologue, then make the flashback a 'X years ago' entry and then start the story in the 'present' in the next chapter/after a time skip. Or chop off the single sentence intro and just go. Or, throw it out completely. People can infer past events from what's said in the present you know.
The worst by far are the single-sentence,-multi-paragraph-flashback,-single-sentence,-multi-paragraph-flashback,-single-sentence,-you-get-the-fucking-point-by-now chapters that require a separate flashback for each event. Mesh them down to one goddamn-that's-long flashback instead of throwing in random, pointless, 'and X felt such and such' sentences in the middle of it.
And now I'm toying with explaining Obito's past by having him look out a window and #flashback#, 'but he hadn't been happy even with that', #flashback#, 'and then when they met up with sensei again', #flashback#, in a few chapters just to poke fun at this after the fact. I should warn you, some of it I don't really know yet.
Though, incidentally, I do know, more or less, who will be in the harem and in some cases I really feel it would ruin the surprise. I'm trying to set up reasons and explanations behind their behavior, as totally bizarre as that sounds after how everything else has been thrown together, but I really do like to have things explained in story and not in post-notes.
Those are for ranting.
My Sharingan is totally canon! Take Sasuke for example; only as he loses his mind does his Sharingan develop and suddenly manifest more powers. His behavior is not that of a logical, well thought-out or balanced person. Neither is Itachi's or Madara/Tobi, who is by far both the most messed up and more powerful Sharingan users. Kakashi is limited by both his lack of genetic predisposition towards insanity and the fact that he reasons things out in a semi-plausible fashion.
Brief note, I have always held that since he failed twice, Naruto is two years older than the other rookie nine, hence he is fourteen, going on fifteen within X months at this point in the story, as is his sister.
And yes, I know Motoko is not Itachi's mother's name. I used it as a way of showing just how messed up he was.
Ha ha, holy crap finals slowed me down. It's been a rough three weeks and I've only barely pulled through. Well, in my mind anyway, on paper it might look different.
Well that and Fable 2.
I actually wrote Hinata's scenes last. For some reason they just refused to flow like the rest of it. Writing-wise anyway.
And then when I went to post this earlier, as in two days ago, but the document manager was down, ain't that a kick?
A story isn't posted here to be read, it's posted here to justify the extremely long author's notes.
Please, take nothing I say in an AN seriously. Moving on.
Pocky – Typically a pretzel or dried bread stick dipped in chocolate or other flavorings... Typically. Having finally conceded that pan is bread in all forms, why have him make pocky?
Torikesugan – Canceling eye. I was going to use negating, but there isn't an equivalent word that translates the idea well enough. Or if there is I couldn't find it.