Turn Around Bright Eyes
DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!
Chapter 6: Home
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Nowadays Santana really disliked the park. Little kids weren't exactly her forte. As she approaches the area, she begins to remember the adventures she and Brittany had when they were children. So many moments of stopping the blonde from eating the sand, so many moments of carrying the blonde one home when she messed up a cart wheel, and so many moments of making fun of the other kids. No one would ever understand the kind of relationship the two had. Sometimes the girls failed to do so themselves.
But secretly, every once in a while when she'd pass by the forested area, she felt a hint of nostalgia and really wanted to go back to those carefree days. Highschool was stressful and despite her popular status, she didn't really have that many friends. At least, that many friends that she honestly cared about.
Having sex with all those guys, sexting, being herself in general just gave her fuel and so much power and it made her feel good, made her feel like herself. It's worked for her so far and she was content with her life. Was being the key word. It's so hard, thinking over and over again how perfect life is when Brittany is a part of it. And although it's only been a day, she already felt like nothing would be good ever again. It kind of annoyed her how painfully dramatic she was, she kind of felt like Rachel to some extent.
She couldn't find the courage in her to make things right because she knows that what Brittany wants is what she wants. It sometimes disgusts herself how much of a softy she was. She was so unsure of how to deal with it, and the lack of the blonde one made it hard for her to think in the first place.
And she swears that her heart skipped a beat.
"Brittany!" the girl called out, finally reaching the park.
The blonde was sitting alone on the swing set, staring at the wound on her knee. It was obvious that she didn't hear Santana.
The tanned girl ran over to her best friend and kneeled before her, placing the band aid on the small scrape. She looks up and sees Brittany staring at her in disbelief, a small broken smile forming on her lips. Santana suddenly felt a little speechless, but she knew deep down that it was the last remains of the sunbeams shining on Brittany that made her practically breathless now. The lighting and colouring of the scene was just too perfect.
"Thank you," muttered the blonde, "I found myself coming here because somehow it felt warmer."
It was a little painful how much Santana understood those words. She tried to laugh a little, and took a seat next to the blonde. Silence echoed loudly between the two and the time didn't stop for them. The sun was slowly beginning to descend and Santana decided to text her parents that she and Brittany were fine, and the two sat in each other's company until the sky grew dark.
"You know," the taller girl spoke, her voice like a hammer breaking ice, "I'm a little bit scared of stars."
Santana rose her eyebrow at this and turned to face Brittany who was staring at the stars now.
"They look so small but they burn so bright against the sky. I always wondered who turns off the lights at this time, but still keeps on those small ones. It's kind of like they're scared or something."
The latina found herself leaning in closer, and the blonde lifted her arm up.
"It's kind of like when the lights are on and the cotton candy is floating in the sky. I always wonder why something is always there, you know? It's like the sky doesn't like to be lonely, whether it's dark or light."
Santana searched for the meaning in Brittany's words and smiled at the blonde's insight. Then again, for all she knows the girl could just be rambling.
"It's kind of scary how the world works," the blonde concluded, turning to Santana with one of her signature sweet smiles. The brown eyed one was slightly taken aback, but not because she was speaking directly to her now, but because she swears that the moonlight against the blue of Brittany's eyes were more beautiful than anything she's ever seen before.
"I don't like being lonely San," the blonde admits, reaching out her hand to touch Santana's exposed leg. "Without you I feel so lost."
It was pretty obvious that the two needed each other. The latina rests her hand on Brittany's and leans into her, the two sharing warmth.
"But now that I'm with you I feel like I'm at home," she mutters in a low voice. Santana could swear that she could feel a lump in her throat...it was most likely her heart wanting to attack Brittany.
Santana felt her courage again and pecked the blonde on the cheek only to feel moisture and coldness on her warm skin. Brittany was crying again.
"Why can't we just go back to how it used to be Brit? Why are you making this so complicated?" Santana asks, squeezing, tightening her grip on the blonde.
"I already told you the answer to that San," she replies, her hand lightly stroking the other girl's.
The two stay like this for a while, Brittany's sobbing infecting the silence of the night. Santana pulls the blonde into a tight hug and whispers to her that she loves her. The sobbing only becomes louder and the latina nearly loses her control.
"Can we stay like this forever?" Brit asks, her cheek pressing softly against Santana's.
"I wish," the brown eyed one responds honestly. She pauses before continuing, thinking about how painful her day was without Brittany and how dramatic the two are being for only being apart for such a short amount of time...thinking about how other people are so concerned about their ties, then thinking about how good it felt to be this close to her again, completey dismissing every other thought.
The silence continues again, Santana deciding not to talk. Maybe after tonight things will go back to normal and the angst they're experiencing is just temporary and no big deal at all. Maybe after this Brittany will settle for what they have and not ask about their relationship status anymore. Maybe this was all some sort of messed up dream. Or maybe, maybe-
"I need to go pee."